cottage-core-cunt

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This was in another goodwill bin and I'm gonna put the back cover under a cut just so you can experience the same sensation of flipping it over to see this:

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people think writers make good English teachers but the opposite is true. sixth grader asks why she can’t start a sentence with “and” and im like idk girlie grammar is a construct and language is a fluid gelatinous animal. people used to write “thou” and they were being totally unironic about it. start your sentences with an exclamation point for all i care. a+

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Look, I'm on the spectrum myself, so I totally get the impulse to try and logic things out, but if I see one more post that's like "neurotypical people are crazy because explaining to them why their emotional reactions are irrational doesn't cause them to stop experiencing those emotions" – buddy, that doesn't work on anybody. I'm willing to bet real money it doesn't even work on you. The problem you are experiencing is that you have chosen a deescalation strategy with a zero percent success rate.

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"I have to be a terminally online tiktok goth because concerts are expensive a d I'm a minor who can't go to clubs" the cemetery is free and bones don't card you

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I was teaching kids today and they got fixated on the usual ‘are they dead now?’ question when I was talking about historical figures. So I was just like ‘Yes, they’re dead now, everyone who was alive in the 1800s is dead now.’ and then one kid was like ‘Except for you’.

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"are you normal about-" no I'm an insane pervert

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123movies & putlocker provide more for the people of this country than the army has ever

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you have to understand that i once worked at a lab with a walk-in freezer set at all times to -30 degrees (-34 C) and one summer we had a horrendous heatwave and i had to bike to work every day and i didn't want to spend the first hour of work drenched in sweat, still trying to catch my breath and cool off.

well one day the first thing i had to do in the morning was grab some samples from the -30, and i walked in and all of the sweat on my body basically flash-freezed and it felt so good. i cooled down in 20 seconds.

so from then on every single day when i got to work i just walked into the freezer and stood there for a minute.

i was usually the first in so nobody noticed for a few weeks until one day i walked in, panting from my bike ride on an unusually hot day, too breathless to talk, and one of my coworkers was there early and he started talking to me but I just wheezed an apology and put my finger up to say "one moment" and I walked into the freezer and then a minute later I came back out totally recovered and I said "sorry! : ) what were you saying?"

and he said

"how long have you been doing that?"

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You like me but not enough to give me thousands and thousands of fucking dollars

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I had to do this

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United Healthcare getting sued by its investors, because it didn't warn them that the CEO getting murdered (by the tendrils of their unmitigated greed) was going to lead to them approving more claims (for covered services that they had no right to deny) is a cartoonish example of exactly why their CEO got murdered.

Their argument is essentially "You promised us a specific profit margin that is not possible to achieve under this increased public scrutiny of your unethical practices. We only agreed to invest because of those unethical practices. So we demand compensation because you didn't warn us that you'd be behaving more ethically"

And idk. Satire isn't just dead. We've pissed on its corpse and now it's dissolving in lye.

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(minecraft parody voice) I am mining... There are no chunks of land... You are digging down with me... Hand in uncraftable hand and I hope you mine... I hope we both mine...

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*walks around the dash loud as fuck* good morning...

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Personally I think I'm shockingly normal for someone who has spent every day on the internet since they were 12