countesswillow

[countesswillow]

I hate my anxiety so much. I went to a doctors appointment today with my wife, and I was acting like a scared animal. Crying and pulling away whenever they touched me. My blood pressure was high, so they had to do it twice, and the second time was higher because I had two nurses in the room instead of one.

Then I go nonverbal and just look to my wife for help, and she's speaks for me(because she knows all my issues). I'm so grateful for her, but it just ends up looking like she abuses me.

Like, no, she isn't the problem. My anxiety is.

Finally, after I'm home for a few hours, I beat myself up. Because I know my body and brain reacted irrationally. I know the nurses and doctors aren't trying to hurt me. I know the people outside my house aren't trying to hurt me.... but it all goes out the window when I step outside.

[countesswillow]

And there was only one bed.

[countesswillow]

isaac

[countesswillow]

commish for @fireflylitsky <3

[countesswillow]

~Hear the moaning in the walls~

[countesswillow]

Crying on the floor rn

In case anyone was still wondering where Techno got his sense of humour.

[countesswillow]

Nick & Maggie for @patiently-burning ~ from the fic Blind Man’s Bluff 😽

[countesswillow]

I swear all my depression is gonna evaporate when Tumblr updates 🥵

What’s that? Tumblr’s allowing sexytimes again? Can’t wait for that update to roll out so I can draw Ellis getting thoroughly dicked down by Nick ( =①ω①=)

[countesswillow]

Oops, I never uploaded this one to Tumblr (which I only realized when someone else did, but then was kind enough to tag me, thank you)!

This is the comic that kickstarted my obsession with telling stories with as few panels as I could (usually 10-11 haha), so it’s got a soft spot in my heart. 

[countesswillow]

Rip

RIP King 😔👊 Give it up for the heart of the server 💙 🥳We lost a true veteran of the server today 😟🏳️‍⚧️ 😭

[countesswillow]

Something else that I thank Technoblade for and haven’t talked about is how this man helped me love pink again. For the longest time, and maybe some other girls would relate, I “hated” or just disliked it because to like pink somehow someway meant you were weak or really “girly” and for some reason that is something you should be ashamed of.

This can really be seen in middle schoolers and even high schoolers and it makes me sad because I wonder how many of those kids love pink but don’t want others to know. For the longest time I couldn’t buy anything majorly pink because of this. And somehow this man just straight made me forget about this, he made me love the color pink, buy pink clothes, color in pink, etc with the color pink. I even dyed my hair pink because I saw this guy brand himself with the color pink and use it with pride and it just idk made me remember that I’m allowed to like things and not care about being judged about it.

It’s something so simple so small and insignificant to others, but it was something that made me live happier and fuller.

Just one of those small things that I’m thankful for Technoblade.

[countesswillow]

funniest shit ive ever created

[countesswillow]

My heart hurts- I miss him so much

posting this clip separately cause it’s really sweet and I like how it turned out :D

[countesswillow]

Wife just told me I make her feel depressed sometimes. Now I'm sitting here silently crying wanting to die.

[countesswillow]

Emoji spell for anxiety relief

✨🌟🌻🧡💛🧡🌻🌟✨

Likes charge, reblogs cast

[countesswillow]

Hey not sure how to advertise, but I'm trying to make some extra money for the upcoming holidays.

Because I don't want to get overwhelmed I have five slots open for bust commissions like the one above.

It's 20 usd per slot.

Thank you for your time! ;u;

Also if it all goes well I'll open more slots.

It'll take three days for your commission to be completed. Maybe longer if I get multiple commissions.

[countesswillow]

When he first meets the crazy maniac - he’s terrified of him so when Pat befriends the dude Virge is more than aloof to this.

But he eventually warms up to Remus and notices that he might look and act like a scary psycho but when you get close to him he’s a very loyal friend :3