courtofcravings

[courtofcravings]

[courtofcravings]

Finding out that Lancelot was apparently the invention of a french writer is absolutely hysterical to me. 12th century french poet sitting around reading arthurian romances and thinking "yeah these stories are pretty good but I think what they really need is a french guy who shows up and fucks arthurs wife"

[courtofcravings]

like the first rule of cooking is to have fun and be yourself and the first rule of baking is to stay calm because the dough can sense fear

[courtofcravings]

Oooh I would love to see more of cassian x reader from your recent fic, like the two of them being besties and pining over each other

Yes this sounds fun!! Currently working on it 🫡

[courtofcravings]

Everyone Knew (2)

Cassian x Reader

After realizing you're hopelessly in love with your best friend, a night out at the bar takes an unexpected turn when unresolved feelings become the topic of the night.

Mutual pinning, Slight angst, Fluff Warnings: Drinking, border line nswf (but only make out) Completed Series - Read part 1 here

The cold night air hit your face as soon as you stepped outside, biting at your skin, but you didn’t care. You slid down against the brick wall, your legs giving way as you collapsed onto the ground. Tears pricked at the back of your eyes, but you forced them down. The burn of his lips still lingered on your skin, refusing to fade, even in the frosty night air.

“Y/N? I thought it was you walking outside. Where’s Cass?” Rhysand’s voice cut through the air above you. You hadn’t even realized the highlord was here tonight. A wave of mortification hit you, and you wondered if he’d noticed what you’d just been up to with his commander.

“Didn’t think there was a chance he was peeling off you,” he added, his tone teasing but laced with curiosity.  That answers that, you thought bitterly.

“He’s inside,” you murmured, your voice shaky. “I’m just… getting some air.” You tried to sound unaffected, but the words wavered.

You hoped Rhysand hadn’t noticed, but the sound of footsteps and rustling clothes told you he was lowering himself beside you.

“Rhys, I’m not in the right mind for a conversation,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

“You’re upset. I get it,” Rhysand replied, his voice gentle, yet filled with an understanding you hadn’t expected. “I mean, I don’t. Not from your perspective.” he added.

“Please, do take a seat.” You sarcastically mumbled.

“Feyre was pissed too. Rightfully so, after I kept it from her,” Rhysand said, leaning back against the wall. A small, reminiscent smile tugged at his lips, as though recalling an old memory. “It was terrifying. Days—literal days—of her refusing to even acknowledge my existence.”

You blinked, brows knitting in confusion as you tried to process his words. What was he talking about?

“She forgave me in the end.” Rhysand shrugged, brushing a hand casually through his dark hair. “It helped that she was already in love with me. Harder to stay mad at someone when you’re halfway gone for them.”

“Feyre…?” you echoed slowly, trying to piece together what he was saying. “Wait wha—”

“We all knew, for a while now. I hope you aren’t too mad at us. We did tell him he had to tell you everything—I mean he saw the reaction Feyre had firsthand. He really has no one to blame but himself, considering how many years he knew and kept it from—”

“Years—Rhys, what are you talking about?” You cut him off, your voice sharp and laced with unease. The words hung in the air, your heart hammering as you waited—hoped—for him to start making sense.

Rhysand blinked, his expression shifting as realization dawned. Slowly, his hand flew to his mouth, eyes widening. “Have you… have you not talked to Cassian yet?”

Before you could respond, the door beside Rhys flew open with a sudden burst, slamming against the wall.

“Y/n!?” Cassian’s voice rang out, rough and hurried. He stumbled out of the building, his eyes scanning frantically—searching—until they landed on you.

“Rhys, scram. Now.”

The High Lord didn’t need to be told twice. With a muttered grumble about manners and bastard brothers, Rhys was on his feet and disappearing through the door, leaving the two of you alone. Under any other circumstances, you might have laughed. But there was no humor to be found—not with the sheer anger burning in Cassian’s eyes.

“I’d like to be alone,” you stated, darting your eyes away from him.

“You promised,” Cassian shot back, his tone rough but pleading. “You promised you’d stop running from me.” His wings flared out behind him, broad and imposing, casting a shadow over you as he moved closer.

“That’s not what I promised,” you countered, your words shaky but defiant.

“Then tell me what’s bothering you. Tell me what made you—” He paused, his voice faltering like the words had caught in his throat. And suddenly, the anger was gone, replaced by something far more raw.

Cassian sank to his knees in front of you, his towering form shrinking as he looked up, the vulnerability in his gaze hitting you harder than any words could. His hands hovered uncertainly, like he wanted to reach for you but didn’t dare.

“You promised,” he whispered this time, softer, like he wasn’t sure you’d keep your word. And it made your heart ache, because this—this—was Cassian laid bare, desperate and unguarded in a way you’d never seen before. 

Throwing your head back against the wall, a heavy sigh escaped your lips. “I couldn’t go any further, Cass.”

“Why?” he pushed softly, hesitating before placing both hands on your bare knees. His warmth seeped through your skin, though the gesture was cautious—like he feared you might pull away. “Cauldron, you’re freezing,” he grumbled, his thumbs rubbing slow circles against your legs as though trying to coax the cold away. “Azriel and Nesta stopped me inside. Didn’t realize how long they’d kept me.”

“I’m fine. Really.” The words felt hollow, unconvincing even to you. Still, you couldn’t bring yourself to swat his hands away—not when your body, traitorous as ever, still craved his touch.

“Tell me why you ran, Y/n.” Cassian urged again, heavy with concern.

“Why?” you echoed. Your thoughts swirled in chaotic loops. Cassian’s hands tightened, just slightly, his grip grounding yet gentle, anchoring you in place without holding you captive.

“You might be interested in a fun night, Cass, but I don’t think I can ever go back if we—” Your voice faltered, frustration bubbling just beneath the surface. “Cauldron, I’m already going to be thinking about your lips on me for days, and we haven’t even kissed. How am I supposed to go back to just being your friend? This is your problem. You never think–”

“And you never shut up,” he interrupted.

“Excuse me?” you shot back, your head jerking up to glare at him.

“It’s like your mind never stops,” he said softly, his gaze unwavering as he leaned closer. “Always racing with thoughts, but it never occurred to you that I might not want to go back, either?”

His words paralysed you. The air between you stilled, thick with tension. The usual playfulness in his eyes was replaced by something else—something raw.

“Don’t tease me,” you whispered. You pulled your knees closer to your chest, trying to create some distance between you, a barrier you desperately needed.

His hands fell from your knees to his sides as he stood, frustration radiating from him. “Y/n,” he whined, dragging his hands over his face. “What kind of person do you take me for? Some disrespectful ass? Is that how you’ve seen me all these years?”

“Of course not!” you snapped, your confusion rising to meet his anger. “I never said that–”

“But clearly you think it,” he shot back, his voice rising as his hands flew up in exasperation.

“Clearly, I think the world of you!” You stood abruptly, stomping your foot against the ground in sheer frustration. “You hear that I—I love you, and somehow you twist that into me thinking negatively of you? This is exactly what I mean! You don’t—”

“And you still aren’t listening to me!” Cassian roared, the shout taking you by surprise, leaving you stunned into silence. Cassian had never shouted at you, not like this. “It’s like you’re being purposefully naive!” he bit out, his hands raking through his hair, gripping so hard you thought he might tear at it.

“Naive!?” you snapped, disbelief coloring your voice.

“Yes, naive!” Cassian’s voice was sharp as he stepped closer. “You get so caught up in your own damned worries, and normally—I think it’s cute watching you overthink the smallest things. But Cauldron above, this?” He shook his head, his voice hoarse with emotion. “This is hurtful.”

The words hit you like a slap, but Cassian wasn’t finished. He took another step forward, closing the space between you to mere breaths. “I’ve been in love with you for so long now, I can hardly remember a time when I wasn’t.”

“What?” Your breath caught in your chest, your heart lurching violently.

But Cassian didn’t seem to hear you, too lost in the storm of his own emotions. “I’ve tried everything. Flowers, gifts, flirting…” He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head in disbelief.

Your mind reeled. The gifts—books perfectly suited to your tastes, plants he’d brought you decorated your room with, weapons he’d selected with such care for you to use in battle.

All things you’d thought were gestures of friendship, acts of platonic love. The flirting you had brushed off as lighthearted banter, that he never truly meant in any way that mattered.

“Cass—I didn’t realize th—” you stammered, but he wasn’t listening, his frustration boiling over.

“I don’t want to go back!” His voice thundered, the rawness of his words hitting you like a tidal wave. “I don’t want to pretend I didn’t hear you say the exact words I’ve been feeling for years. I don’t want to pretend I don’t love you—fuck, Y/n!”

He slammed his hand into the wall beside your head. Not to scare you—you knew that instinctively. It was as if he needed the wall to keep himself upright, as if the weight of his confession was too much to bear. 

“You’re my mate—” His voice dropped to a soft whisper, the crack in it breaking something inside you. “I–I don’t want to pretend we’re just friends anymore.”

Your eyes widened. The words he’d spoken repeating in a loop in your head: You’re my mate.

“And if you want to reject me. I would endure that for you.” Cassian took a shaky breath, his voice now quieter, but no less intense. “But stop acting for one damn minute like there’s a version of me that could ever not love you. That could ever go back to waiting for you to love me as I do you.”

“Cassian,” you whispered, barely able to form the question. “Mates?”

Everything clicked. It wasn’t just the deep love you’d always felt for him, but the connection. The bond, the pull, the certainty that surged inside you when he spoke. Everything he’d said, everything you’d felt, suddenly made sense. “You’re my mate.”

Cassian cursed under his breath, pacing away for a moment, clearly trying to regain his composure. “I wasn’t supposed to—damn it,” he mumbled, running his hands through his hair in frustration. “Wasn’t supposed to tell you like this.”

You blinked, your mind still spinning through memories and conversations. “Earlier, you mocked me… about everyone knowing.” you said, barely above a whisper, yet stern.

Cassian’s eyes softened, his gaze shifting to something vulnerable. “Everyone knew,” he confirmed, his voice almost childlike, as though he was bracing himself for a reprimand. He winced, “Except you.”

The words Rhysand had said to you earlier echoed in your mind: We all knew, for a while now. 

“Rhysand said you’ve known for years,” you continued, your emotions swirling in conflicting directions—anger, confusion, and something else you couldn’t quite name. “Years, Cassian?”

He flinched, eyes flashing with something dark. “He told you?” he sneered, the edge of his voice sharp.

“Well, you obviously weren’t going to,” you shot back, your tone sharper than you intended. “He didn’t actually tell me—he thought you already had. I didn’t understand the meaning of his words until now.”

“I was hoping you’d feel it,” he admitted, his voice soft, almost defeated. “Something, at least. For me.”

In that moment, the truth settled over you—You weren’t angry with Cassian. You couldn’t be, not when the feelings you had tried so hard to deny were so much the same as his. Not when you realized just how deeply he had always felt for you, how much of himself he had given, even if it wasn’t always clear to you. 

His words, his actions—all of it now made sense, the gifts, the teasing, the way he had always been there for you. The pieces clicked into place, revealing a truth that you had been blind to, unwilling to see.

“You coward,” you teased, a playful smirk tugging at your lips. But Cassian didn’t seem to notice the lightness in your tone. His eyes remained shut, refusing to meet yours, his posture stiff with tension, as if he was still waiting for further reprimand from you.

You shifted closer, your fingers brushing gently against the solid muscle of his chest. You felt the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your palm, and the sensation sent a thrill racing through you. The bond between you two seemed to hum quietly beneath your skin, a quiet pulse.

“A bit of a hypocrite?” he muttered, his voice rough as he took your hand in his, rubbing it gently like he couldn’t quite control his touch.

You tilted your head, catching his eye for a moment. “Oh? Says the one who made me promise not to keep things like this from him?”

He sighed, the weight of his exhaustion settling into his shoulders, his wings drooping behind him as though the very air had become too heavy to bear. His voice, when it came, was softer than you expected, soaked in regret. “I couldn’t bear you avoiding me.” The ache in his tone twisted something deep inside you. 

You reached out, your fingers brushing gently against his chin, guiding his face toward you with a tenderness that belied the ache in your chest. He hesitated, but after a long beat, his eyes fluttered open—hazel depths flooded with longing, and the intensity of his gaze made your heart stutter in your chest.

Your breath caught in your throat. “Cass…”

“I don’t want to go back, Y/n.” He leaned into your touch, his presence overwhelming, the space between you shrinking until his breath brushed against your lips. His eyes held yours, unflinching, as though they were a silent promise. “I meant what I said,” 

“Every touch, every look, every word tonight… None of it was a joke to me. I’ve wanted this—you—for so long.” His voice dropped to a near whisper. “So if you think I’ll pretend I didn’t hear…” He paused, his lips curving into a small but dangerous smile. “You don’t know me as well as you think you do.”

Warmth flooded your cheeks, the coldness of the night melting away. The closeness of his face, the way his presence filled every corner of the space between you, made the air feel electric. Your skin seemed to remember the feeling of his mouth on your neck, the heat of his touch. How there was no barrier left. 

“You didn’t try everything,” you whispered, your voice low, teasing as your hands trailed over his chest, savoring the feel of his body beneath your fingertips, a shiver of excitement coursing through you at the contact.

“W–What?” His voice cracked, and you couldn’t help but smirk at the reaction, savoring the way he struggled to form words. His hands slid around your waist, fingers slipping under the hem of your cropped shirt, tracing slow, teasing circles against your skin.

“The gifts, the flirting…” you murmured, almost breathless as your hands slid up to his shoulders. You pulled him closer, enough to feel the heat of his body press against yours. “If you were too much of a coward to tell me—”

“Would you stop calling me—” Cassian’s words faltered when you leaned in, lips brushing over the sensitive crook of his neck, just beneath his jaw. You felt the shudder that ran through his body as you trailed a warm kiss across the skin, his hands tightening around your waist, pulling you flush against him. His breath hitched as his chest rose and fell with a deeper rhythm.

You kissed your way slowly across his neck, feeling the rapid beat of his pulse beneath your lips. As your lips neared his, you could feel him tilt his head, instinctively trying to meet you. But just before your mouths collided, you pulled away, lips hovering just over his. “You could’ve tried showing me,” you whispered, voice low and teasing, your breath warm against his.

A mischievous grin tugged at the corner of Cassian’s lips, his eyes darting between yours and your lips, flickering with hunger. He licked his lips, and the question slipped out of him, coated in desire. “And how would I have gone about that?”

“You could’ve pulled me against you,” you said, your tone slow, deliberate, laced with a challenge that dared him to follow through.

Cassian’s hands moved from your waist, gliding down to your thighs, lifting you effortlessly with a strength that made your breath catch. Your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist as he pinned you against the wall.

“And then?” he murmured, his voice thick with anticipation, his lips only an inch away from yours, the heat of his breath mingling with yours.

“And then,” you whispered, your lips grazing over his as you leaned in just enough to tease. “You could’ve done this.” Without waiting another second, you closed the gap, pressing your mouth to his with a force that took his breath away. 

The kiss was desperate, hungry, a collision of heat and need. Teeth clashed, tongues tangled as you both dove deeper into the kiss, the world outside vanishing as you lost yourselves in the raw intensity. You both fought for more, each movement desperate, as if nothing could ever feel close enough.

“I vaguely remember trying something like this,” he murmured between heated kisses.

You let out a soft giggle, pulling back just enough to catch your breath, your lungs racing as your forehead rested against his cheek. “I thought you were trying not to waste the perfectly good shot you spilled on me?” you teased.

Cassian nipped at your lips in response, before his teeth swiftly moved to grazing over the delicate skin of your neck, sending shivers down your spine. “I think I missed some,” he muttered, his breath hot against your skin. His lips sucked and nibbled at the spot like he had before, and the teasing motion made you laugh softly, but that quickly turned into a low moan.

“Cassian...” You ran your fingers through his hair, tugging gently to shift his head away, trying to catch your breath. He groaned in protest, hardly pulling back.

You slid down from his legs, standing tall and proud before him.

“You’re killing me here, Y/n,” he said with swollen lips, his eyes glazed with need. The sight of him like this made your heart race faster. Your hands slid from his hair to cup his face, gently holding him as you stared into his eyes.

“I love you, Cassian,” you said softly, your smile wide and genuine, the words flowing naturally. You wanted him to hear it, in this moment, without heat of an arguement. “So fucking much.”

Cassian closed his eyes for a moment, his breath shaky as he leaned into your touch. “Tell me again,” he whispered, his leg shifting between yours, pinning himself against you.

“I love you, Cassian. My mate,” you whispered, the words carrying more weight than ever, like you were sealing a promise in the air between you.

His lips crashed back onto yours, the kiss deepening as he tugged you even closer. In between the kisses, he pulled away just long enough to demand, “Again.”

“I love—” you tried, but he was relentless, kissing you harder, his lips never straying far as he muttered again over and over. You laughed softly, surrendering to the moment, and said it one more time.

“I love you too, Y/n.”

He pulled away just enough to smile, a soft, adoring expression on his face. “My beautiful mate,” he murmured, his voice filled with nothing but affection as he stared at you, his eyes alight with something deeper than desire—something eternal.

With a grin, Cassian picked you up effortlessly, your arms instinctively wrapping around his broad shoulders as he lifted you without a second thought.

“Hey!” you protested, though your heart raced with excitement, the rush of adrenaline making your pulse quicken.

“I’d like to continue this... without clothes,” he murmured, his voice low and teasing. “Preferably in a bed,” He said before he nipped playfully at your ear before pressing a lingering, slow kiss to the pulse point on your neck. The warmth of his lips sent a shiver down your spine. “Unless you want to go back inside for your girls night?”

You opened your mouth to argue, to bring up the people waiting back inside, but the words were caught in your throat as Cassian’s wings suddenly flared out, strong and powerful, lifting both of you into the air.

“I’m tired of them knowing everything,” he muttered.

Your arms tightened around his neck as you let out a breathless laugh, feeling the cool night air rush around you. Higher and higher, the ground falling away as Cassian swept you off into the night.

[courtofcravings]

Everyone Knew (1)

Cassian x Reader

After realizing you're hopelessly in love with your best friend, a night out at the bar takes an unexpected turn when unresolved feelings become the topic of the night.

Mutual pinning, Slight angst, Fluff Warnings: Drinking, border line nswf (but only make out) Completed Series - Read part 2 here

“You could, perhaps, try talking to him…” Feyre suggested, lifting her glass to her lips, “I mean, how long do you think you can avoid him?” She added, with a pointed look

“Would forever be too long?” you muttered, staring into your nearly empty drink. Tonight was supposed to be a break—a brief escape from your endless pining. Somehow, though, it had turned into an interrogation.

“You’re acting pathetic,” Nesta grumbled from beside her sister. “Just talk to him. He is only a man.”

“I tried,” you whined, throwing a pleading glance at the girls. You really had tried—more than once. The problem was that every time Cassian’s eyes lingered on yours for too long, your brain short-circuited, leaving you speechless and rulling any possibility of confessing: utterly impossible.

“Tried,” Nesta repeated mockingly, a smirk curling her lips. “If you call drooling over him and bolting out of every room he’s in trying, then sure.”

“She gets flustered,” Feyre said, reaching across the table to pinch your warming cheeks. “It’s not her fault.”

“Exactly!” you mumbled, swatting Feyre’s hands away. “Every time I look at him, words just… don’t form… into complete thoughts.” You groaned, slumping back. You weren’t exactly the drooling mess Nesta made you out to be—at least, you hoped not—but lately, you’d definitely been frazzled.

A poorly muffled laugh broke from the man sitting on Nesta’s other side—silent for so long, you’d almost forgotten he was there.

“I hardly see how you find this so amusing, Azriel,” You scolded, shooting him a sharp look.

Azriel’s eyes flicked to yours for a brief second before darting back to the other girls. “I’ve never seen her acting so… odd,” he said, shaking his head. “And neither has he.”

“Stop talking about me like I’m not here,” you grumbled, crossing your arms. “I am not acting weird.”

“Besides becoming a moping mess?” Nesta quipped, her lips curling into a sly smirk.

“He knows you’re avoiding him,” Azriel said flatly. “And that’s… odd behavior. You two are normally inseparable.”

“You told him I was avoiding him?” you accused, your heart beating a little faster.

“No,” Azriel replied, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Skipping practice for the third time this week clued him in. He didn’t stop complaining about it during sparring today.”

“Wait… he’s upset with me?” you asked, a knot forming in your chest.

The last few weeks had been overwhelming. Realizing just how deeply you loved your best friend had been consuming. He had been consuming. The mere thought of stepping into a ring with him, his large, strong hands on you, made your pulse race.

“I never said he was upset with you,” Azriel corrected, arching a brow.

“But he’s complaining about me?”

“Not about—” Azriel sighed, his tone edging toward exasperation. “Would you just talk to him?” His frustration showed in the slight crease of his brows, his patience clearly wearing thin.

“And say what?” you muttered, more to yourself than anyone else. Just having a fraction of his attention made you flustered—having all of it? You were sure you’d melt on the spot.

“Literally, anything.” Nesta answered.

With a scoff, you laced your fingers together dramatically, resting your chin on them. “Oh, my dearest friend,” you began, your voice dripping with mock sincerity. “I hate to ruin our valuable friendship, but our friends think it is vital that I inform you of how completely, utterly head over heels I am for you.”

You paused just long enough to grab the glass Feyre had left in front of you, tossing back its contents in a single gulp. The alcohol burned its way down your throat, making you wince. But as you set the glass down, all traces of mockery vanished, your tone softening to something achingly earnest.

“Every morning, I wake up sad because you aren’t beside me, and I fall asleep just as bitter. Truly, though, that's the least of my problems…” Your voice faltered for just a moment before you pressed on. “Because I haven’t the faintest idea how to act around you anymore. And I miss my best friend.”

“Yes, say it exactly like that,” Feyre said, her soft smile full of encouragement.

“That was… actually very romantic,” Nesta added, her usual sharpness tempered by genuine surprise.

“As if I could ever say that—Oh!” you groaned, digging your hands through your hair in pure frustration. “Did I tell you what he said yesterday? About how excited he was to pin me under him?” Your voice cracked, and the words spilled out in a hurried, breathless rush.

You knew Cassian had meant it in the context of sparring, but the unintended suggestion had completely scrambled your thoughts. “How am I supposed to train with him now?” you muttered, shaking your head and pressing your palms to your temples. “The thought of me under him, or worse, me on top of him… Cauldron.”

Azriel, caught off guard, sputtered into his drink, his usually stoic composure vanished as he coughed and gasped for air. Feyre, her face flushed with suppressed laughter, pressed a fist to her mouth in an attempt to control herself. Nesta didn’t bother to hide her wide grin.

“This is not helping.” You groaned, burying your face in your hands.

“Neither is skipping training,” Nesta quipped.

“This is all your fault!” you snapped, spinning to point an accusing finger at the trio. “You three just had to point out that I loved him. You couldn’t leave it alone—you all just had to be right!” You were ready to argue further, but their expressions gave you pause. Instead of guilt or concern, they were all smiling at something behind you.

“Gonna be honest, Y/n…” A chill crept into your stomach as you heard a very amused familiar voice.. “Didn’t think that line would work.”

You froze, the air rushing from your lungs as you turned around. “Cass!” The unintelligible squeak that followed was a sound you were certain had never left your lips before. Your voice climbed a pitch higher, your heart hammering so fast you feared it might escape your chest entirely and throw itself at the man standing before you. “Cass—Cassian! You’re, uh, here. Why? Uh… why are you”—you swallowed hard, your throat painfully dry—“here?”

Behind you, the chorus of girlish giggles from your so-called friends did nothing to steady the waver in your voice. Cassian’s arms crossed loosely over his large chest, his posture casual, but his eyes anything but. They raked over you with an intensity that left you rooted to the spot. “I heard you went drinking without me.”

“Is that… what you heard?” you stammered, your voice faltering as you struggled to keep your composure. “What else—what else did y-you hear?” You couldn’t tear your gaze from his hazel eyes, the intensity making your heart race.

“Enough to piece together why you’ve been—well, avoiding me.”

“Have I?” you asked, feigning confusion as you awkwardly scratched at the back of your neck. Cassian’s lips twitched, his amusement rising alongside the arch of one dark brow.

“I’ll get us a round,” you blurted out, inching toward the edge of the booth. The plan to escape was short-lived, though, as Cassian’s arm shot out, blocking your path. Two shot glasses clinked against the table as he set them down with a smug grin.

“Oh, no you don’t.” Cassian chuckled to himself as he squeezed into the booth, his broad frame leaving you no choice but to shuffle further back. “We should talk.”

“A talk? You and I?” you asked, your voice high-pitched with forced casualness as you plastered on a tight smile. “It’s a girl’s night—we can talk later… or never. Never works for me.”

Cassian’s grin grew. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, as if struggling to decide what to say first. His eyes flicked to Azriel, who sat stiffly at the far end of the booth, before returning to you. “Girl’s night, huh?” Cassian drawled. “But Az is sitting right there.”

“No, I’m not,” came the shadowsinger’s low, muttered reply.

You barely had time to blink before the sound of Azriel getting up filled the booth. Disappearing into the crowd without so much as a backward glance, leaving you alone with Cassian. Feyre and Nesta, you realized belatedly, had also vanished at some point. Traitors.

“Coward!” you yelled after Azriel, your frustration swallowed by the chatter in the bar.

“Says the kettle to the pot,” Cassian quipped, his smirk turning devilish as he reached for the bottle Azriel had left behind, taking a long swig. He set it down, leaning back as his gaze pinned you in place. “I’ve never seen you act so… flustered before. It’s cute.”

“I—” The word barely escaped your lips, snagging on the lump forming in your throat. Cute. He called you cute. Like you were some kind of child.

Mortified, you buried your face in your hands, as if that would somehow block out the world—and him. Heat flooded your cheeks, and his presence, so close, so warm, only made it worse. “Can you just pretend you didn’t hear any of that?”

“Y/N, would you just—”

“Please—pretty please?” you cut him off with a groan, your voice tinged with desperation. You just needed him to let it go, to move on, to give you even a moment of reprieve.

But the sound of your plea died in your throat as two large, warm hands gently wrapped around your wrists, pulling them away from your face with surprising tenderness. His touch sent a wave of buzzing exhilaration coursing through you.

His breath fanned against your ear, and you flinched at just how close he was. Too close. There was no hiding the heat crawling up your neck and settling in your cheeks.

“W-What?” you stammered, completely losing track of whatever he had just said. Your eyes flicked to his lips, watching as he caught his bottom lip between his teeth, a faint smile tugging at the corners.

“Why would I do that?” he repeated, his voice low and deliberate.

“Because… because it’s easier,” you admitted softly, the words tumbling out before you could catch them.

Cassian’s brows drew together, a flicker of confusion shadowing his expression. “Is it?” he murmured, leaning in ever so slightly. His teasing smile returned, softer but no less disarming. “Because it looks like you’re struggling quite a bit.”

“Cauldron, Cass… please.” Your voice wavered, breaking under the strain of your emotions. “I—I can’t. Don’t tease me about this. I can’t…”

The raw and fragile plea hung in the air. Your wrists went limp in his grasp, as if surrendering would somehow make it easier. Maybe if you stayed quiet, he’d let it drop—let you go so you could disappear into the safety of your blankets at home and pretend this moment had never happened.

Instead, he loosened one hand, his fingers brushing against your face as he gently tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. His knuckles lingered, grazing your cheek with a tenderness that sent shivers down your spine. You told yourself not to, begged, but you leaned into his touch anyway.

“This is why you’ve been acting so…” His knuckles trailed downward, leaving a scorching path to your neck. The sensation was maddening, each inch sending waves of heat and goosebumps alike coursing through your skin. “…so distant?”

You swallowed hard, words trapped under the weight of his steady gaze. His fingers brushed lightly over your throat, as his hazel eyes searched yours, waiting.

“Yes.” The word was barely a breath

“I thought I did something to piss you off.” His hand slid from your wrist, trailing slowly up the bare skin of your arm. Every brush of his fingers left a trail of fire in their wake. “I hounded Az about it for weeks,” he continued, voice low and laced with something unspoken. His touch traveled over your shoulder and down your back, finally settling on your waist—where it fit like it belonged.

“You did?” The question barely made it past your lips, as soft and fragile as your resolve under his gaze.

“Needed to know why things changed.” His grip on your waist tightened slightly, warm and possessive, his thumb pressing just enough to make your breath hitch. “I hated the distance you put between us.”

“Cass—”

“Promise me, Y/N.” His voice dropped, low and intimate, the weight of his words sinking deep into the charged space between you. “Tell me you won’t ever do that again.” His hazel eyes bore into yours, sharp yet devastatingly tender. “Alright, Cassian.” You whispered it, though it felt more like a surrender than a promise.

He used his hold on your waist to draw you closer, your bodies nearly flush. His face hovered just inches from yours, his breath warm against your skin. “Promise me you’ll talk to me when something’s bothering you,” he murmured, his fingers drawing lazy circles on your waist that sent shivers rippling through you.

“I promise.” The words came out on an exhale, barely audible over the pounding of your heart. The air between you felt heavier, thick with tension.

“You even went drinking without me,” he added, the playful pout on his lips disarming in contrast to the intensity of the moment.

You couldn’t help the soft laugh that escaped you, your heart warming despite the charged atmosphere. “Cauldron, Cass, really?”

His grin softened, but his eyes never left yours. “I missed my best friend, too.”

You sat up straighter, planting your palms on his chest to create just enough distance to breathe. “I—I still don’t know how I’m supposed to act around you anymore… how to go back.” Frustration bubbled up, and you groaned, scrubbing your hands over your face without a care for the smudge of your makeup. “I need a drink.”

“Go back…” he echoed under his breath. His hand slid away from your waist as he reached for a shot, the absence of his touch a sudden, jarring loss. “I thought I’d get you drunk enough tonight to spill what the fuck was on your mind.” “I’m surprised you didn’t know.” You grimaced, taking the chilled glass from him and pressing it to your flushed face. The coolness was a welcome relief against the heat simmering beneath your skin. “Everyone knew. Literally. Everyone.”

Cassian’s wings twitched, tension rippling through him. “Yeah, I’ll be having some words with them later,” he muttered darkly, the sharp edge to his voice offset by the warmth in his eyes. He downed his shot, the sharp scent of liquor mingling in the air between you, intoxicating in its own way.

“I begged them not to tell,” you admitted, dazed as you watched his tongue dart out to catch the last drop of alcohol from his lips. Your breath hitched. Those lips—the way his tongue moved—flashed through your mind. The memories of sleepless nights, haunted by dreams of him, surged hotly. Your pulse faltered, and a tight, burning heat spread through your chest.

Your face flushed even deeper, the heat not just from embarrassment, but from the way Cassian’s gaze locked with yours, that knowing grin spreading across his lips like he could read your thoughts. You reached for the shot, desperate to regain some composure.

“Hey!” A sudden pinch to your waist jolted you, causing the alcohol to spill across your neck. You winced "Why’d you do that?" You reached for the spill, but his hand shot out to firmly grasp your wrist.

"Sorry, Y/n," he murmured, his voice low and laced with intent. “I wanted another taste.” His gaze fell to the liquor on your skin, and his body leaned closer, his presence nearly overwhelming. “Let me clean that for you.”

“Cassian, what are–” Your words caught in your throat, and you didn’t have the chance to finish as his warm tongue followed the path of the spilled drink, leaving a trail of heat in its wake. The surprise melted into a soft whine as his mouth moved to your neck, sucking and nibbling at the sensitive skin there. He paused, pressing a chaste kiss to your fluttering pulse point.

“I’m surprised you didn’t know,” he murmured, his words a quiet echo of your own. But you barely registered them, lost in the heat of his touch. A soft chuckle rumbled from him as your fingers instinctively tangled in his hair, pulling him closer.

“Everyone knew,” he breathed, his lips brushing your collarbone before returning to the crook of your neck, the warmth of his breath sending shivers down your spine. A breathy moan escaped you as his hands lifted you further onto him. “Literally everyone,” he whispered, teasingly repeating your words.

You could barely process what he was saying, not with his lips tracing your skin and his strong hands gripping you like he couldn’t get enough. Your fingers tightened in his hair, tugging gently, drawing a low groan from him that vibrated against your throat.

“How am I supposed to focus on what you’re saying,” you gasped, the words tumbling out between uneven breaths, “when you’re touching me like that… making sounds like…” You swallowed hard as his hand moved to rest lightly against your throat, the pressure intoxicating. “That?”

Cassian’s eyes darkened with amusement as he pulled back slightly, just enough to create a small space between his lips and your skin. A knowing, cocky smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

“You want me to stop?” he asked, his voice rich with teasing, each word a challenge.

“No—Maybe.” Your thoughts tangled into knots, the weight of his closeness stealing any coherent response. The idea of kissing him—of what it would mean after—tugged at you. Your lips quivered under the weight of unspoken words, and Cassian’s eyes dropped to them, his thumb brushing against the bottom one in a slow, deliberate motion.

“Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d see you this flustered over me,” he breathed, his voice a velvety murmur. “So cute… It’s everything.”

The words hit like a bucket of cold water. The amusement in his expression, the teasing—it felt like a joke to him, just something to feed his ego. Something inside you snapped, and you pulled away, raw frustration and embarrassment bubbling up to the surface. “Stop saying things like that,” you whispered, your voice barely audible as you pushed against his chest, breaking free from his arms. His grip slackened just enough for you to pull away completely.

“Y/n, wait—” Cassian’s voice was strained, a thread of alarm creeping into his tone.

“No!” you shot back, your voice trembling with emotion. “Stop. It’s not cute. I’m not some… some game for you to amuse yourself with for the night, Cassian.”

“What?” He looked stunned, his brows furrowing in confusion as he reached for you again. “That’s not what—hold on!”

“I need air,” you muttered, your voice cracking. His hands reached out, desperate to stop you, but you slipped out of the booth before he could catch hold of you.

You didn’t look back as he called your name, his voice rising above the music and chatter. Instead, you moved quickly, weaving through the bodies on the dance floor. Your calculated escape took you through the densest part of the crowd, where his large frame wouldn’t be able to follow as quickly.

[courtofcravings]

top tier hating

[courtofcravings]

Don't do anything stupid (3)

Bones thinks you and Captain Kirk are very similar, and it takes an away mission to prove him right.

Fluff and Adventure (Completed Series) Warning: minor blood, needles, minor injuries. mild violence This is a rewrite of a fic called "Another You" I did. Fixed it up a bit. Read Part 2 or 1 here <3 this is the last part

“You should call me Jim… or Kirk,” he said, glancing at you with a smile.

“Sir… is that appropriate?” you asked, taken aback. You’d never worked with a captain who was okay with familiarity.

“I think after today, it’d be weird if you didn’t,” he replied, giving you a soft smile.

You raised an eyebrow, a small chuckle escaping you. “Alright, Jim… or Kirk,” you said, not quite a question but more of a playful jab.

“Perfect.” His gaze shifted from you to the phaser in his hand, then to the dark path ahead. “So, how do you not know how to use a phaser?”

You shrugged,“That’s just it—I know the standard, but that thing?” You motioned toward the phaser. “It’s anything but.” 

As you both walked, he began to explain the different buttons and settings, even quizzing you on the important ones to make sure you could defend yourself if needed. You could hear the focus in his voice, like he was enjoying teaching you something new.

After a quiet beat, Jim looked over at you with a slightly mischievous grin. “You know, Bones thinks I should ask you out.”

Your head whipped toward him in shock. Of all things to come out of his mouth right now. “Does he?” The words slipped out before you could stop them, and a blush crept up your neck. You quickly looked ahead, pretending to be very interested in the path in front of you.

Jim’s grin widened, the corners of his mouth curling into something just shy of a smirk. “Yeah. Bones has known I’ve had a thing for you for a while. Though, after this morning, when we tag-teamed him, he might’ve changed his mind.”

You swallowed hard, your heart skipping a beat at the unexpected confession. “I, uh… didn’t know Bones was so… observant,” you muttered, the blush on your face stubbornly refusing to fade.

Maybe it was the tension of the day, or the vulnerability in Jim's eyes as he spoke, but something in you shifted. You gathered your courage and, almost in a whisper, asked, “How long have you had this… crush?”

Jim’s blue eyes softened at your question, a mix of surprise and fondness in his gaze. “Since the day Bones introduced us,” he said, his voice calm but sincere. He gave you a teasing look as he added, “i have been showing up in your lab more than I should have.”

You blinked, unable to hide your surprise. “I thought you were just trying to get on Bones’ nerves,” you said, giving him a playful nudge. “We never really talked much beyond work.”

“I was intimidated,” he admitted with a wry smile, his eyes dropping to the ground briefly before meeting yours again.

You stopped walking, processing his words. “Why are you telling me this now?” You found yourself asking. Was he worried he wouldn’t make it off this planet alive?

Jim exhaled slowly, his expression serious. “When you’re in a life or death situation... the small things start to feel important. I don’t want to leave anything unsaid.” His tone shifted, more vulnerable than you’d expected.

Suddenly, without thinking, you reached up and kissed his cheek, a soft peck. It was impulsive, but somehow fitting. You wanted to let him know you understood, and that you felt the same.

“Well, I guess Bones was right,” you said, teasing, but with an undertone of sincerity. “You should ask me out.”

Jim looked at you for a long moment, his eyes reflecting a quiet appreciation. “I think I just might,” he replied with a small, knowing smile.

You both eventually came across the nest—a large, cave-like hole in the ground with a few small tents scattered inside. You surveyed the guards pacing the area and turned to Jim. “I thought this was supposed to be a diplomatic mission. What did you guys do to piss off the natives?”

“They’re not the natives we came here to meet,” Jim replied, his voice low. “This new species wiped out or enslaved the native inhabitants of this planet.” The chill in the air seemed to grow colder at the thought. Jim gave your hand a reassuring squeeze.

His skin was freezing, but it wasn’t the cold that made him feel that way—it was the blood loss. He needed medical help, and he needed it fast.

“Why did they take our crew?” You asked, the dread in your stomach only deepening as you realized you couldn’t see any of the missing crew members. “Trophies of their conquest,” Jim replied grimly. “They’ll be slaves.”

You spotted something on the left side of the camp—a small metal rod hooked up to a larger box. “Jim,” you said, pointing at it. “That’s what’s blocking our comms and transporters. If I can get to it, I could—”

“No,” he interrupted sharply, his eyes narrowing as they met yours. “That area’s surrounded. And you can’t even use a phaser.”

“Okay, then what’s your plan? Go in guns blazing?” You shot back, matching his intensity. “You can barely walk without me helping you. Don’t try to act like you’re fine when you’re clearly not.”

It was strange, snapping at him like that. This morning, you’d never have dared to speak to him so casually, but here you were—arguing with your captain.

“I have no idea what Bones was talking about. You're much more like him than you are like me,” Jim muttered.

“Wait, what? You’re saying I’m like Bones?” you scoffed, raising an eyebrow. "Because I—what? Think first, act later, right?" you shot back, the sarcasm practically dripping from your words.

“Exactly, but with a bit more pessimism,” he teased, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“Oh, I think you’ve confused realism with pessimism,” you retorted. “If I were truly pessimistic, I wouldn’t have nearly died trying to save you when you were tied up. With all that blood loss, there’d be no point in saving a dead man.”

Jim’s grin widened, and his voice dropped, low and teasing. “Y/N, come on,” he whispered in your ear. “We both know you just couldn’t stand the thought of this pretty face going to waste.”

You felt your cheeks warm at his playful words, a wave of heat rushing over you as you forced your attention back to the task at hand.

"Jim, let me handle it. If I can take that thing down, you can use the comms to get the ship to lock onto the crew and beam them out." You glanced over at him, concern deepening in your eyes.

He needed real medical attention, and your arm wasn’t doing so well either. The pain you’d pushed aside while walking through the forest was now throbbing, the ache radiating up your arm, making it hard to focus.

“Fine,” he said after a long pause, but his voice was firm, “But if it’s too dangerous, Y/N, I want you to run. You haven’t trained in combat, and—”

“I know,” you cut him off, “but you don’t have the luxury of moving, and we don’t have time to waste. Stay here, I’ll handle it.”

He sighed. “I really can’t go anywhere.” At least that was reassuring. He couldn’t get himself into any more trouble. His cold wrist grabbed onto yours before you could run off. "Be careful," he said quietly. Then, his tone softened, but only slightly. "I said it last time, and you didn’t listen, so I’ll repeat it as your captain: Don’t do anything stupid."

You gave him a quick nod before slipping away, moving cautiously through the shadows. You had to be quick and quiet—there were guards everywhere, and you couldn’t afford to get caught. The grey antenna was just ahead, waiting for you to shut it down.

As you crept between the tents, your steps light, you froze suddenly, hearing a familiar voice. The woman’s voice. She was talking, and there were two other voices responding. They must have been in the tent right next to you. You crouched low, phaser drawn, and carefully lifted a corner of the fabric to peer inside.

The tent was quiet except for the voices, and you could see that they were alone.

“You,” the woman’s voice rang out, “Y/N, the scientist.” Uraha recognized. You acted fast, running to her first, untying the ropes that bound her, and passing her a phaser before quickly moving to the others. “The captain?” Sulu asked, his tone heavy with concern.

“He’s alive,” you said grimly, “barely. He lost a lot of blood. There’s a device blocking the comms. I need to take it down if we’re going to get out of here.”

They nodded solemnly, and after a quick discussion, it was decided that they would stay put, not wanting to attract more attention as a larger group, especially in their wounded state.

Making your way toward the box, your stomach dropped when you realized it was locked. You cursed under your breath, frustration flooding your chest. Time was running out, and silence was no longer an option. This was going to be risky, but there was no other choice.

You raised the phaser, aiming carefully as the intense beams of energy shot out, striking the metal. It didn’t take long for the surface to scorch, a small hole forming in the center.

"Hell yeah," you muttered under your breath, spinning the phaser around your finger. "Like it was nothing…"

As you stepped back, ready to evaluate the damage, something slammed into your back. Before you could even react, a large hand gripped you tightly, lifting you off your feet and slamming you into the cold, unforgiving wall. The impact knocked the air out of your lungs, leaving you dizzy and disoriented as you crumpled to the ground.

Your body was still reeling from the shock when the sharp sting of another blow loomed, and your heart raced as you braced yourself, preparing for the next attack.

But it never came.

-------------------------------------------------------------

"Y/N!" Jim’s voice cut through the fog of pain and disorientation. You blinked, groggy, and looked up, realizing you were lying safely on the floor of the transport bay.

"I can't believe we actually survived that," You said, your voice tinged with disbelief. You felt the blood dripping from your head, and your arm throbbed with pain, but you were alive. You had made it.

"Always so pessimistic, Y/N. I knew the whole time we'd be fine," Jim continued, his grin wavering slightly in the face of his own exhaustion.

"Depends on your definition of fine," you shot back. "You have a hole in your leg; I personally wouldn't call that fine."

Before he could respond, the doors slid open, and Dr. McCoy strode in, pushing a wheelchair. "There’s no point arguing with him, Y/N," McCoy said with a dry chuckle. 

Kirk raised an eyebrow as he looked at you. "Hey, what happened to 'don’t do anything stupid'? I watched you get tossed."

You winced, a faint smile tugging at your lips. "Just thought to myself… hmm, what would Jim do? And as it turns out, it was stupid and dangerous."

Jim opened his mouth to make a snarky comeback, but instead, he swayed dangerously and started to slump. You and Bones both scrambled to catch him, lowering him into the wheelchair before he completely collapsed.

"Sorry, guys," Jim muttered weakly, his voice a little slurred. "I guess I’m falling too hard for Y/N."

"Only you would try to flirt while fainting from blood loss," Bones shot back, his dry humour not quite masking his concern.

You couldn't even look at Jim, the heat in your cheeks too much to bear. The rest of the walk to the med bay passed in silence, your mind still spinning from the absurdity of everything.

In the med bay, Bones led Jim into a private room to work on his leg, and you were left to decide what to do. The exhaustion weighed on you, your head still a little fuzzy, but you weren’t sure whether to rest or stay and make sure Jim was okay.

"Excuse me, miss?" A soft voice broke you from your thoughts. An older man, his name badge reading Dr. Jean, gently placed a hand on your shoulder. "Dr. McCoy told me to take a look at your head."

"I’m really okay," you insisted, but he gave you a kind smile and nudged you toward the nearby exam chair.

It wasn’t like you had the energy to argue. You sank into the chair, allowing Dr. Jean to clean the wound on your head. He gave you a thorough concussion exam, his hands gentle but professional. After a moment, he nodded. "You’re clear. No concussion, you’re just a little shaken up."

You nodded, grateful, but your eyelids felt heavy. The events of the day had taken their toll, and you couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt this drained. You didn’t want to walk all the way to your quarters, so instead, you settled into a chair in the hallway, eyes fluttering closed. Just for a moment.

The quiet hum of the med bay was the last thing you heard before sleep finally claimed you.

You felt someone gently shaking your shoulder, and the movement sent a jolt through your body, but you could barely summon the energy to respond. Your eyes felt like they weighed a ton, and no matter how hard you tried, they wouldn’t open.

A voice—familiar but distant—shouted, cutting through the haze in your mind. "What do you mean you cleared her!? Does she look okay to you?" The voice was sharp and urgent, but it still didn’t seem to make sense. "Doc… Doctor McCoy?" you heard it again, more clearly this time.

Someone cupped your cheek, and the touch made you flinch, the sensation so stark against your foggy brain. You wanted to open your eyes, to make sense of it all, but it felt impossible. Then, Jim's voice came through, low but urgent. "Bones, she’s talking…"

"J-Jim?" you muttered, barely able to get the word out, but your voice sounded weak, hollow. A hand brushed your neck, sending a dull ache through the bruised skin. "Ouch," you whispered, the pain from the day's events flaring back in an instant.

"I can barely feel a pul–" Jim's voice sounded more concerned now, but it was still muffled by the fog.

"Nurse Chapel, help me lift her," Bones barked, and then the voices blurred together, talking too fast for you to follow. You couldn’t focus. The more you tried to make sense of their words, the heavier your thoughts became.

“T–Too Foggy…” you whispered, your breath coming in shallow gasps, the simple effort of speaking leaving you winded. "Doctor, my head…"

You felt your body shift as they laid you down again, the softness of the bed beneath you a small comfort in the chaos. But nothing could stop the growing sense of panic that bloomed in your chest.

“I’m telling you, McCoy, she does not have a concussion,” someone growled, the frustration evident in their voice.

"Pulse is thready and weak, not fully alert," another voice added, almost as if they were talking to themselves.

Your eyes finally cracked open, but the brightness around you was too much. It felt like a thousand needles against your senses, and you winced as the world around you became a blur.

The warmth of Jim's hand in yours was a lifeline amid the chaos of your dizzying thoughts. "Vitals are not holding," you heard someone murmur.

You turned your gaze to your hand, finding his fingers wrapped around yours, and something about the touch grounded you. “You were…” you gasped for air, each word feeling like it took everything you had. "Jim..." you tried again, breathless, "I think she’s talking to you, try to ask her—" He looked between you and the doctor, but there was a distant edge to his gaze, one that spoke volumes of his own concern. "You were so cold when we—"

You sucked in another quick breath, the sharpness in your chest reminding you just how weak your body was right now. “But now you’re very warm.”

The orders from Dr. McCoy cut through the haze: “Start her on an IV and 92% oxygen.” You felt something cold touch your arm, but the numbness was only on one side—your arm, the one that had been scratched. A strange, muted panic flared in your chest as you tried to speak again, but each word felt like it was being pulled from the depths of a fog.

“Doctor,” you gasped, “My arm…” You couldn’t even see it, but you could feel it tingling, the lack of sensation unnerving.

Dr. McCoy’s voice was tight with frustration as he moved to examine the scratch. "Dammit," he muttered under his breath, lifting your sleeve to inspect the wound. "Jim, you said she scratched it? That looks infected, and her symptoms would suggest venom... maybe the plant was venomous?"

You could feel the oxygen mask pressed over your face, the steady stream of air filling your lungs, giving you a moment of relief. Jim was holding it there, his fingers gentle against your skin. You managed a weak smile, trying to focus on him as the world swirled around you.

“You stayed with me?” you managed, the words feeling fragile. It seems whatever medication and interventions being given to you, were already having a positive effect on you. Feeling more able to talk. 

Jim looked down at you, his gaze softening for a moment. "Of course," he said, the teasing edge to his voice making a return. "Couldn't let Bones have all the glory."

You blinked slowly, warmth creeping into your chest as you met his gaze. "Thought it was because you couldn’t let my pretty face go to waste." You could feel your heart flutter despite the lingering haze of exhaustion. Jim chuckled softly, but it was the kind of laugh that didn’t quite mask the concern still hidden beneath it.

Jim’s lips brushed your forehead in a gentle, lingering kiss, his fingers smoothing the strands of hair away from your face with a tenderness that made your chest tighten. 

“Y/N, your wound’s been thoroughly cleaned. Nurse Chapel is going to administer a remedy; it may make you drowsy.” McCoy said. You reached out with your other hand, weakly grasping Dr. McCoy’s arm, squeezing it as best as you could. “You're welcome, Darlin,” he murmured, offering you a soft, reassuring smile before stepping back and leaving the room.

As his footsteps faded, your gaze shifted to Jim, who was still watching you with a mixture of concern and something else, something that made your heart flutter despite the exhaustion.

"So, when am I getting this date?" you teased, trying to focus through the fog of fatigue.

Jim raised an eyebrow, feigning shock. “This doesn’t count?” he said, leaning back slightly. You couldn’t help but smile at his teasing.

“As much as I think it’s romantic that you almost bled out, and I almost died in a chair, I feel others may disagree,” you teased back, your voice light.

He chuckled softly, a playful glint in his eyes. “You need rest. When you wake up,” he whispered, like a promise.

“Mm, not even tired, too excited,” you mumbled, your words fading as your eyes fluttered closed. The exhaustion finally overtook you, but deep down, you knew that whatever lay ahead would wait for you.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The doctor was right. You slept for about 16 hours while the anti-venom worked its magic through your body. Despite the lingering ache in your muscles, you felt revitalized—energetic, even.

“Y/N, you’re finally awake,” McCoy's voice broke through the haze, and you blinked up at him, relief flooding your chest as his familiar face came into view. A knowing smile tugged at his lips.

“Bones,” you said softly, your own smile reflecting the warmth in your chest. But as your gaze shifted, a lingering doubt crept in. Was it all real? The mission, the danger, the adrenaline, the promised date? Part of you wondered if it had been some wild hallucination brought on by the stress and venom.

As if McCoy could sense the question lingering in your eyes, he spoke before you could voice it. “I know someone will be happy to see that,” he muttered, his tone dry. “He hasn’t stopped bugging me about you.” The mention of Jim sent a wave of reassurance through you. Of course, it had all been real.

Your lips parted, but you hesitated, unsure if you really wanted to ask. “Is he alright?” You could see him in your mind—bloodied, vulnerable.

McCoy’s hands worked quickly, checking your vitals as his eyes flicked back to you. “He’s on crutches, but don’t worry,” he said, a touch of amusement in his voice. “He’s been calling me every five minutes to check in on you.”

A smile tugged at your lips as you stretched, stiff muscles protesting. “Can you do me a favor and not tell him I’m awake yet?” you asked, the request slipping out with a soft laugh.

McCoy gave you a pointed look, but his mouth quirked at the edges. “You two are gonna give me an early retirement.” He muttered something about stress and heart attacks before heading out, leaving you to recover in peace.

After a quick shower and a stop by the cafeteria for something warm, you found yourself standing in front of Jim’s door, your heart racing. The familiar chime sounded, and the door slid open.

There he was—leaning slightly on his crutch, eyes lighting up the moment he saw you.

“I thought we could have our date as you promised,” you said, lifting the bottle of whiskey and containers of food toward him, your smile just as wide.

“Y/N!” Jim’s voice cracked with disbelief. He stepped forward, his eyes scanning over you, taking in the way you stood there, alive, whole. “You’re awake!? Bones didn’t tell me you were up. Did he check you over before you left?” His gaze lingered on you for a moment too long, searching for any sign that you might be hiding something, but you saw only relief in his eyes.

You set the food and drinks down on the nearby table. “Yes, of course,” you said, turning to face him fully. The nervous flutter in your chest made you second-guess the moment, but you pushed it aside. “I thought it’d be a nice surprise,” you added with a teasing smile. “I brought food and drinks because I know your leg’s still recovering. I hope that’s alright?”

Jim’s expression softened, a small smile tugging at his lips as he stepped closer. He reached out and gently cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin in slow, deliberate strokes. His other hand gripped his crutch, steadying himself.

Before you could say anything, he leaned in and kissed you—soft, tender, like a promise. His lips lingered against yours for a moment, the warmth of the kiss grounding you, making everything else fade into the background.

“Very much okay with me,” he whispered, his voice low as he pulled you a little closer.

[courtofcravings]

Don't do anything stupid (2)

Bones thinks you and Captain Kirk are very similar, and it takes an away mission to prove him right.

Captain Kirk x reader

Fluff and Adventure (Completed Series) Warning: minor blood, needles, minor injuries. mild violence This is a rewrite of a fic called "Another You" I did. Fixed it up a bit. Read Part 3 here <3 Read Part 1 here

The mission had seemed straightforward: collect plant samples with regenerative properties to help with the tissue regeneration project you and Dr. McCoy had been developing in the lab.

But something had gone terribly wrong. You suspected it had something to do with the diplomatic party that accompanied you. Gathering the samples had been quick—fifteen minutes at most—but when you tried to contact the ship, there was no response.

No response from the mission team either. You pushed aside the thought that they might have forgotten you—unlikely, but still, it lingered. You couldn’t recall the exact location where they had been transported, and whether it was worth heading back to the last known coordinates was a debate you kept having with yourself.

You needed shelter—maybe even a fire. The temperature on this planet was plummeting, and it wasn’t safe to stay exposed. Without defence or a map of the dense jungle around you, you started walking. You couldn't help but remember how Bones had laughed when you'd confidently said nothing could go wrong.

"Y/N to Enterprise," you repeated under your breath every few steps, as you pushed through thick foliage. As night fell and the temperature dropped, your steps slowed. The shadows thickened, and it was becoming too dangerous to keep wandering without a plan.

Then, a flicker of light caught your eye. It was faint—barely visible through the underbrush. Could it be your crew? You considered the possibility of following it, but then a thought flashed through your mind: like the anglerfish on Earth, was this light just a trap to lure you in?

It might be better to stay put, you reasoned. But where else could you go? Against your better judgment, you moved closer, pushing through the darkness.

The closer you got, the clearer the light became. It was a fire. You picked up your pace, relief flooding you as you heard voices—your crew, for sure. Almost to the camp, you were ready to shout their names when disaster struck.

Your foot caught on something, sending you sprawling. The rough ground scraped against your palms, and your knees slammed into the earth. Pain shot up your arms as you tried to push yourself up, wincing at a jagged cut on your forearm, likely from some hidden branch. Flushing with embarrassment, you tried to gather yourself before facing the others.

But as you approached, the relief quickly turned to dread.

Across the camp, your heart sank. Captain Kirk was tied to a massive tree, surrounded by unfamiliar figures. They weren’t attacking, but their stance—sharp, deliberate—they weren’t there for small talk. They were interrogating him. Panic surged in your chest, and you dropped to the ground, hiding in the brush.

The situation looked grim. Uhura stood between the captain and one of the aliens, her hands bound behind her. She was speaking urgently in a language you didn’t understand, her voice sharp, but there was an edge of command.

Nearby, Sulu and Spock were also tied. Several other crewmembers, ones you didn’t know as well, were scattered around the camp, eyes fixed on their captors in uneasy silence.

Uhura spoke again, but the alien leader barely reacted. Every few seconds, she would glance at Kirk, likely translating or negotiating on his behalf. But her body language—frustrated and tense—told you the negotiations were falling apart.

You crouched lower, trying to stay hidden as you scanned the camp for any sign of what was going on. There were no devices that might be blocking the comm signal, so why had no one responded?

Frustration simmered as you noticed something else: Starfleet-issued phasers. More phasers than you had people, in fact. It looked like this group had been capturing Starfleet officers for some time.

You flinched as one of the aliens grabbed a long, cruel-looking fork and drove it into the captain’s leg. His curses and screams sliced through the air. The alien who’d attacked him untied Uhura and the others, leading them into the forest without a word, leaving Kirk alone with two of his captors standing guard.

A plan began to form, but doubt clung to the edges of your mind. You weren’t trained for combat, and your skills—biomechanical engineering—were hardly suited for a hostage rescue. If you could somehow get a phaser to the captain, maybe you could get him to McCoy. Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance.

Carefully, quietly, you moved through the trees, staying behind cover. Your arm throbbed, blood soaking through your uniform sleeve, but you shoved the pain aside. It wouldn’t matter if you didn’t get out alive, right?

The phasers sat on a flat table, surrounded by other confiscated items, untouched—for now. You had to move quickly. A shaky breath escaped your lips as you reached for one, then another.

Your fingers froze, hovering over the weapons. You were in way over your head—nothing like what you’d been prepared for. Being stranded on an alien planet with a bleeding arm? Manageable. Seeing your crewmates bound and injured? Sorta manageable. But this...

You’d been trained to use low-power phasers, barely enough to defend yourself in a pinch. But these? They were a far cry from what you’d practiced with—too many buttons, too many settings.

The air felt thick with tension as you crouched behind a large rock, eyes locked on Captain Kirk. His leg was still bleeding from the attack, The strain in his eyes unmistakable, he was tough, but even he wouldn’t last much longer in this state.

You moved slowly, deliberately, making sure not to make a sound. Every step felt like it could give you away.

You crept up to the captain, careful to stay out of sight, you knew there wasn’t much time before the guards would glance over. You gently placed a hand on his shoulder, careful not to startle him.

"Don’t make a sound," you whispered, your voice urgent but low. The last thing you needed was for him to move suddenly and draw attention. "I have no idea how to use this," you continued, hands shaking as you pressed the weapon into his still-bound hands. "So I really hope you’re not too out of it from blood loss to move."

"Y/N?" Captain Kirk whispered, his voice hoarse. "Don’t do anything stupid." You couldn’t help but appreciate the irony of his confidence in you.

“Yeah, don’t worry your pretty face captain,” your fingers working frantically at the rope. It was so close to giving way, but then you heard the soft shuffle of one of the guards' footsteps drawing nearer. You had no choice but to abandon your efforts.

You watched the captain look around, his eyes scanning the camp, but you were already hidden in the bushes. You saw him subtly begin to loosen his bound hands.

Now, it was time for the distraction.

You moved quickly, deliberately putting distance between yourself and the captain. Once you were far enough, you shouted. "Hey!" The word rang out, loud and sharp in the stillness of the night.

"Hey!" you yelled again, arms flailing as you waved the phaser in your hand. You could feel the guards' attention shift. They began moving toward you, their pace slow but steady.

"Okay, I know you can’t understand me," you called, trying to sound confident, though your throat felt tight and itchy. You aimed the phaser at them, holding it as steady as you could given your pumping heart. “But I know you understand this.”

The guards kept coming, their large figures closing in. As they neared, you could see them clearly in the firelight—leathery skin stretched taut over massive muscles, and their hands gripping enormous weapons. The sight only deepened the pit in your stomach.

“You guys are big huh—Hey, I mean it! I… I don’t want to hurt you, so don’t come any closer!" you shouted, waving the phaser at the guard to your left. But they didn’t slow down, until they were right in front of you.

Before you could react, one of the guards grabbed you by the throat, lifting you off the ground. Your feet dangled, helpless, as he squeezed, the pressure building slowly. You knew he could snap your neck instead, he chose to apply the pressure slowly.

The sound of a phaser firing cut through the air, loud and sharp. The guard released you immediately, both of you crashing to the ground. You gasped for air, your chest heaving as a violent coughing fit took over. Every breath was a struggle to fill your lungs.

Through the haze of coughing, you heard a thud. The second guard had fallen. A warm hand rested gently on your back, and a familiar voice spoke.

"Are you okay?"

It was the captain. You glanced up, still gasping for air, and saw him standing next to you, phaser in hand. Blood was still pouring from his leg, staining the ground beneath him.

"You’re the one with the stab wound," you said hoarsely, your concern cutting through the pain in your chest.

"It’s nothing," his strained voice and slight sway betraying his lie.

You immediately moved to support him, slipping your arm under his to help him stay upright. "Let me help," you said.

He leaned on you, his weight heavy but manageable for the moment. You might not be able to carry him for long, especially with your arm throbbing with every movement. "Sit down over here. We need to tie something around your leg."

Once you got him seated, you fumbled through your bag, desperate to find something useful. Thankfully, your tiny first aid kit was still intact. You pulled it out,

He chuckled weakly when he saw it. "That little thing’s gonna save my life?"

You shot him a determined look. "Laugh all you want, but I don’t see a better option," you replied, your voice firm despite the fear clawing at you.

You tore open the kit, searching for the small roll of gauze. Every second counted.

“That’s not why I’m laughing,” the captain said, his voice strained. You looked up at him, curiosity flickering across your face.

"I’m sorry, but…” His eyes flickered to the small first aid kit in your hands. You wrapped a long strand of gauze around his leg, twisting it as you’d been taught. "I have this deep stab wound, and you pull out the smallest that..."

You took an alcohol swab, gently cleaning his wound.

"When I looked into your bag this morning and saw that little thing, I thought it was cute," he continued. "I thought it was cute you’d bring a tiny first aid kit when we have an on-hand medic with us."

You glanced around quickly for anything else you could use to dress the wound, but your options were limited. "And now," he added with a weak chuckle, "you’re the one doing the first aid, in the field, with it. I don’t know, I just find that funny."

You ripped his pant leg slightly to get a better angle, ready to start packing the wound.

"I’m not sure if I should pack dressing around… this fork thing, or if I should take it out and dress you properly." You leaned back on your legs and met his gaze, weighing your options. "Leaving it in would be safest," you said after a pause, your face serious. "I can’t be sure if it hit an artery, and you’d bleed out if I pull it. But on the other hand, if we have to move fast, it could do more damage staying in."

"Take it out," he said, his voice unwavering. "We need to get moving. We still have to find Uhura and the others."

The urgency in his words made your stomach tighten. You had no training for this. Killing your captain wasn’t exactly a résumé builder. But there was no choice. You reached for the dressing packets, praying the tourniquet had done its job.

Taking a deep breath, you prepared yourself. Without warning, you pulled the foreign object from his leg, tossing it aside. The captain groaned in pain, and the sound sent a chill through you. “McCoy told me it hurts less without warning,” You placed one hand over the wound to apply pressure, heart hammering in your chest.

“I’m so sorry,” you said quietly, your voice sincere. As you reached for the dressings, you couldn’t help but wish that your kit had painkillers or something to ease his suffering. It was a thought you’d make sure to follow up on, the next time you were out on a mission. “I know that must’ve been really painful.”

It was over, but Captain Kirk was still breathing hard, his body tense with the aftereffects of the pain. He leaned forward, resting his head on your shoulder, and for a moment, everything else faded. You gently ran your fingers through his hair, keeping your hand on his head, both of you silent in the calm that settled over you.

"Your arm," he murmured, his hand reaching for your sleeve, where a stain of blood had dried. He tried to inspect the injury, but you pulled your arm away gently.

“It’s just a scratch from a branch,” you explained, trying to downplay it. "It hurts, but it’s not bleeding anymore. Besides, I used all the dressing on you—your injury was more urgent."

He nodded, though his concern was still evident. “We need to move. They might have heard me.”

You helped him to his feet, his weight leaning heavily on you. Together, you shuffled through the darkness, struggling to see anything in the thick night. “It’s so dark,” you muttered. “I don’t know how we’ll find everyone.”

The captain rummaged through his pocket, pulling out a phaser. “They went to their nest. Should be north. There’s a map on this, and we can use it to track the terrain.”

With a press of a button, the phaser blinked to life, the map and a small flashlight glowing on its screen.

"Captain," you hesitated, glancing at him. "Do you think you’re in any shape to fight? I’m surprised you were able to stand long enough to take down those guards."

He gave a small, reassuring smile, though his eyes were still shadowed with exhaustion. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”

"Well, thank you," you said, suddenly struck with a wave of gratitude. "Thank you for saving me back there. I’ve never been that close to dying before."

He looked at you, his expression softening. "Y/N, without you… I’m fairly sure my pretty face would still be tied up at that camp, bleeding out.”

[courtofcravings]

Don't do anything stupid (1)

Bones thinks you and Captain Kirk are very similar, and it takes an away mission to prove him right.

Captain Kirk x reader

Fluff and Adventure (Completed Series) Warning: minor blood, needles, minor injuries. mild violence This is a rewrite of a fic called "Another You" I did. Fixed it up a bit. Read Part 2 here <3

Dr. McCoy was at it again, trying to coerce you into visiting the Med Bay. This time, he seemed to think that threatening to involve the Captain would somehow sway your decision.

“I’m telling you right now, Y/N, you can’t go on your away mission without getting your immunizations for this planet,” McCoy said, leaning against the counter like he had no intention of leaving. “Ever heard of the Quazulu VIII Virus? No? That’s because there’s a vaccine for it!”

“Dr. McCoy, it’s just a quick trip to the planet to grab a few specimens. I won’t be staying for the diplomatic engagements like the rest of the team,” you explained, continuing to pack your equipment in the research ward.

Your preparations were nearly complete when the ship’s chief medical officer decided to ambush you. The task was straightforward: collect samples of water and nearby vegetation. This planet had only recently become accessible, and much of its biological features remained a mystery.

McCoy gave you a pointed look, his expression clearly unimpressed. “As a scientist, I’d think you’d be the first to appreciate the importance of vaccines,” he grumbled.

“On the contrary, Doctor,” you retorted with a smirk, carefully placing empty sterile test tubes into your case. “I firmly believe medicines like vaccines are life-saving. But as a scientist, I’m also keenly aware of just how dirty hospitals and Med Bays can be.”

His face contorted in a mix of offense and exasperation, as he threw his hands in the air.

“You do realize you’re going on an away mission to a planet that is far from sterile—to literally play in the dirt,” he mocked, crossing his arms as he tilted his head in mock dismissal. “And when you get injured, will you refuse medical care, too?”

You recognized the "gotcha" moment he was relishing—and he wasn’t entirely wrong. The truth was, you just hated needles. They grossed you out.

“I’ll be careful,” you stated confidently, adding a playful wink, which earned an unimpressed scoff from the young doctor.

“Fine, you don’t like my Med Bay, but what if I gave you the shots here?” he countered, tilting his head slightly.

You hesitated, but admittedly, it wasn’t a bad compromise. The Med Bay gave you more of a sinking feeling than the needles themselves ever did. You’d always noticed that too many people who went in didn’t come out—or if they did, they weren’t the same. That persistent sense of dread lingered every time you stepped through its doors.

“If this place is too dirty for you, then you’ve only got yourself to blame,” McCoy added dryly, motioning around the room. “You are, after all, the head lab runner.”

You pretended to mull it over, feigning indecision for a moment before muttering your reluctant agreement. “Fine. Go get them, then.” It was standard policy to receive the immunizations, and deep down, you knew they’d be a lifesaver if something went wrong on the mission.

“Great!” he exclaimed, grabbing a red bag you hadn’t even noticed he’d brought in. Your jaw dropped as he began pulling out the vaccines.

“You knew I’d agree?” you asked, narrowing your eyes suspiciously as you reluctantly took a seat on the stool in front of him.

You had spent countless hours working alongside Dr. McCoy in the labs, and you liked to think you knew him well. What you hadn’t anticipated was just how well he seemed to know you—including your aversion to the Med Bay.

“I deal with you the same way I deal with him,” McCoy said as he prepared one of the doses. He paused, smirking as if a thought had just struck him. “You two are a lot alike.”

“Who?” you asked, curious about who you were being compared to, as you rolled up your sleeve.

Before McCoy could answer, the doors to your lab chimed, signalling someone’s arrival. You kept your eyes tightly shut, bracing yourself. McCoy had your skin pinched at the top of your arm, and you knew the needle was coming.

“Bones? We’re supposed to be having breakfast,” a familiar voice said. You jumped—and not because of the needle. “Chapel said you were here waiting for me…”

Your eyes snapped open. “You were actually going to tell the Captain on me?” you muttered through gritted teeth, glaring at McCoy. A small chuckle sounded from across the room, drawing your attention. Your gaze locked with his piercing blue eyes, and your heart skipped a beat.

“Y/N,” Kirk said, walking over and leaning casually on the counter in front of you. “Causing trouble?” His tone was light, laced with amusement.

“Captain,” you mumbled, feeling your face heat up as you turned back to McCoy, who looked far too pleased with himself.

“Jim,” McCoy interjected, preparing the second dose with a practiced ease. “Why don’t you explain to our young scientist here the importance of getting inoculated before an away mission?” He glanced at you with a smirk. “After all, you have the most experience finding out the hard way.”

Ignoring the second half of McCoy’s comment—one you were far more interested in hearing about—you turned your attention to the Captain who asked, “Y/N, will you be coming tonight?” His voice was so alluring, that it sent a slight tremor through you.

Clearing your throat, you offered a simple response. “Yes, Sir.” It was all you could manage, as it often was when you found yourself in conversation with him. He was so handsome, so kind, and so funny—it was incredibly intimidating.

“And Bones is giving you trouble,” he said with a soft chuckle, breaking your gaze as he began to casually scan the lab. He had a habit of doing that whenever he came in to talk to McCoy—picking around at things like a child unable to sit still.

You watched him smile to himself as he pulled open your backpack for the mission, his easygoing nature only adding to the warmth in your chest. Then, something about how he had called McCoy ‘Bones’ dawned on you. “Bones?”

“Don’t start calling me that too,” McCoy grumbled, clearly unamused.

“Ouch!” you jerked at the unexpected jab, your focus finally breaking from the Captain. You began rubbing your arm, still sensitive from the injection. “You didn’t warn me,” you muttered, your voice tinged with mild frustration.

“You’ll survive,” McCoy said dismissively, preparing the last dose. After a moment, he added, “Captain, you were about to explain the merits of getting all your inoculations.”

It was odd to hear Dr. McCoy refer to the blonde man by his official title, and it seemed to dawn on him as well. “Right,” Kirk muttered, dropping everything he was tinkering with and walking back over to you. “As your captain, I’d inform you that it is mandatory, and refusal can compromise the health and overall well-being of the crew…” He finished with a thumbs-up directed at the doctor.

To be honest, you weren’t really listening. His voice was far too distracting for lectures. So, it wasn’t until you heard the clatter of the final needle hitting the counter that you realized McCoy had finished with you. “All done,” he announced.

As you began pulling your sleeve down, the Captain cleared his throat. “If that’s everything, then—”

“Oh, Jim,” Dr. McCoy interrupted, launching out of his chair and grabbing the Captain’s arm before he could say another word. “Leaders lead by example… Can’t be a hypocrite now.”

You noticed the three other needles lined up on the counter. This had been McCoy’s plan all along. Despite feeling a bit of satisfaction that you weren’t the only one afraid of needles, you couldn’t resist teasing, “For the well-being of the crew and all.”

“Right,” the Captain replied with a dejected sigh, taking the spot McCoy had just vacated. His warmth brushed against you as his shoulder lightly nudged yours. “Just make it fast,” he muttered, lifting his shirt just enough to free his arm. Your eyes darted anywhere but at him.

“You two are very similar,” McCoy remarked, earning a scoff from you.

Feeling the eyes of both men on you, your cheeks flushed with heat. You hadn’t meant anything negative by your comment; you simply couldn’t imagine having much in common. He was important and useful, and you… well, you played in the dirt.

The silence stretched on, and feeling embarrassed, you muttered, “We do have a pretty good style.” You were thinking of the mandatory uniforms you all wore. While yours perfectly matched McCoy’s, the Captain’s gold uniform complemented him far too well.

The Captain softly chuckled, about to add something before a jab of the needle interrupted him. He let out a hiss of pain.

“Dammit, Jim, stay still,” McCoy muttered before adding, “You’re just proving my point.”

“What? That we’re both good at making fun of you? Have a good sense of humour?” You laughed, debating whether now was a good time to ask about the Bones nickname.

“You like my sense of humour?” the Captain asked, looking down at you. You were flustered over what you had just admitted, but thankfully, McCoy spoke up.

“You both like causing me stress and making my job harder than it already is.” The doctor complained though the small smirk on his face betrayed his irritation.

“That’s hurtful, Bones,” you said sweetly, finally using the nickname Jim always called him.

“Dammit, Jim,” McCoy muttered under his breath as the final needle clattered to the table. “Just promise me you both won’t do anything stupid tonight.”

----

[courtofcravings]

"𝘐 𝘸𝘢���𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘻𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵....𝘕𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘐 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦."

[courtofcravings]

Fantasy book: So these two characters are basically mates/soulmates, and the male would do literally anything for the female, he’s super tough and intense but he becomes jello for his lady and would do anything for her, he loves her so much, there’s a lot of cute pet names involved....

Me:

[courtofcravings]

[courtofcravings]

eris vanserra does not give a single fuck,,

[courtofcravings]

Can I request fluffy acotar preferences? Like: mornings, holidays, cuddling, movie nights, pregnancy, flying (bat boys), nicknames, etcetera. I haven’t seen anyone do this and it would be amazing!

Let’s dooo it

[courtofcravings]

I sense nesscian fanfics coming 🥰

Tell me rn moriganna from Merlin is not Nesta

Like you can’t tell me I’m wrong besides the hair colour

The attitude

[courtofcravings]

Prince Charming

Angst and Fluff, some NSFW

Word count: 8500

Post ACOWAR by four years// Context: Cass got into a hunting accident, came across you, living in a shack by yourself, and you healed him (as you have that type of magic). He felt thankful and connected to you, so he brought you back to Valaris and gave you a home. Also, he is your mate, and he doesn’t know :)  xoxo

Trigger Warning; Sexual assault, Injury, swearing, minor character death, and some NSFW. THIS FIC does not revolve around sexual assault; this is important to note because I wrote the reader to be reliant on Cassian, and I didn’t want to seem like I am romanticizing sexual assault. As a survivor myself, I know how painful it can be when writers do that.

Also, there is no actual forced sex in this. I wouldn’t write that. It just almost happens, and the trauma pushes Cass to face his feelings for the reader.

ANYWAY, yall, why do I lust for Nesta more than Cassian <3 There is so much cheese at the end of this I almost don’t want to post this.

--------------------------

Dethra puckered her lips, kissing a piece of paper to remove the excess lipstick. “I am telling you Y/N; everyone talks about Calanmai.” Stopping, she turns toward you. “I promise it’s going to be fun. We need to check it out.” Dethra was one of the first friends you made that was outside of Cassian’s friend group.

She was young like you, only five years older than you. Her mother Rita owns a restaurant, one of the first places Cassian took you to in Velaris, that Dethra waitressed at. You two instantly clicked.

“What’s Calanmai?” you asked back, knowing you didn’t have any other plans and would probably go.

You always found it was hard to get into Cassian’s group; they were exceedingly protective of Cassian. Of course, they were extremely friendly to you and invited you out frequently, but you always denied the requests. It was hard to act naturally around Cassian without giving him longing stares, and flirtatious remarks and cauldron forbid you didn’t want him to see that.

You haven’t told Cassian you were mates yet because you couldn’t quite grasp if he liked some of the other girls in his “Inner circle.” You didn’t want him to feel obligated to be with a stray like you, especially when you were already so grateful that he gave you a place to live.

Azriel seemed to be the only one who caught on, at least the only one who actually asked you about it. If the others knew they weren’t saying anything to you. They probably did know, now that you think about it, because they had no issue with Cassian bringing home a stray they’ve never met.

You just wished Cassian knew.

“It’s a festival! In another court. I can winnow us there. Oh please, Y/N, please come with me” She held her hands together, looking up from her beauty chair with a look of innocence. It reminded you of a puppy begging for a treat.

“Alright” You had a feeling Dethra did not know that much about it either, but it seemed like a fun adventure.

However, you couldn’t help but wonder what Cassian would be doing tonight.

--------

You were recently moved into the Townhouse where everyone else lived when Feyre overheard you tell Azriel you were kind of lonely. You may have been someone who didn’t go out much or were too shy to accept invitations out, but an empty house made you feel real loneliness- as if you were living by yourself in that shack again.

The townhouse was lively. It looked like everyone was home when you arrived at the doorstep. Nesta opened the door to greet you, “It’s late,” Was all she said to you. She looked at you with her gorgeous green eyes, accusingly- waiting for an answer.

“I was with Dethra.” You paused, shutting the door behind you, “Hey... Nesta?” You wondered if maybe Nesta knew more about this festival, and it might help to ask. Perhaps then you’d know what to expect.

“Have you heard of Calanmai? Dethra wants to go tonight” She didn’t even give your question any thought before saying, “No. Morrigan made dinner. Everyone already ate without you.”

It’s not hard to see what Cassian sees in Nesta; if Cassian wasn’t your mate, even you knew you’d have a crush on her.

Although she scares the fuck out of you.

They aren’t dating, but they are always together; he always seems happy with her. And with Mor. Both of them have skills, have talents, are loveable- and you don’t even have a house.

Although you’d like to think you are loveable, you lack in the other two departments.

Coming from the Dawn Court, you learned the art of healing, which is how you saved Cassian in the forest that one day after he had a hunting accident killing some Naga.

But truthfully, with how Fae heal so fast and-well all on their own, healing as your only talent is quite useless.

“Actually,” Nesta stopped, turning towards you. “Do not quote me on this, but I am pretty sure Rhys and Feyre met on Calanmai,”

“Really!? Well, in that case, I definitely want to go tonight,” How cool would it be to see the festival where the high lord and high lady met at. “Eat first,” Nesta said before running off. Probably to see what Elain is doing.

After you ate, changed, and grabbed a bag, you decided you wanted to thank Morrigan for the meal and apologize for being late for dinner. Morrigan was in the sitting room with Cassian, discussing something that had Cassian frowning, yet Morrigan had a huge grin splashed on her face.

“Morrigan?” You asked, earning the attention of the two faes. Cassian’s eyes daringly darted at Morrigan, as if urging her to silence, then rested his glance at you.

He looked at you for what seemed an eternity before tearing his hazel eyes away. His beautiful eyes. Cassian has never seen you dressed up before, not like this.  

“Hey, we were just talking about you, and how many times do I have to ask you to call me Mor?” She said, standing up and walking over.

“Mor,” you corrected, pausing to digest the unfamiliar nickname, which pleased the fae, “Thank you for the meal, I am sorry I was for late dinner, It was delicious,” Which brought a smile onto Mor’s lips.

“Y/N, this outfit is gorgeous! Did Dethra lend you this?” Nodding in response, you asked, “You like it? Good, I was a bit worried I’d look foolish” You haven’t worn nice clothes like this in what felt like forever. The two-piece was made of a sunset red color, flowing pants, and a cropped top with flowy sleeves that stopped at the armpit. Red slipper-like shoes to finish off the outfit.

Mor spun you around to get a look at the back while whistling in approval. “Yes, Y/N, I love it. I have to ask Dethra where she got it from,” She looked at Cassian, a devilish smile planted on her face, “Cassian, what do you think?” She paused with playful eyes.

Mor and your eyes drifted to Cassian, waiting for a reaction. With Cassian’s eyes evaluating you, your felt heat spread to your cheeks. Cassian swallowed hard. “Beautiful,” He said while meeting your eyes, an action that made butterflies flutter in your stomach.

A few giggles were heard in the back, which revealed Nesta and Azriel sitting at the lounge chairs. You didn’t notice them before, but they both seem to have listened to that whole conversation.

“That is the outfit for Calanmai?” Nesta asked, “Not too bad at all” She finished. Weirdly, with her words, Cassian stood up, looking at Nesta, then back at you. “Calanmai?” He asked, walking closer to you, “You are going to Calanmai?” He asked again, with a hint of condescending on his tongue.

Stepping back at the tone change, you look between Mor, who also has a worried look on her face, and Cassian. “Yes… Is that an issue? Cassian.” You said, waiting for what he has to say. You just wanted to have a good time with Dethra- and cauldron knows you needed it.

Cassian’s wings flexed just slightly, and he brushed some black hair out of his face storing it behind his ear. “Well… I mean, Why are you going?” Mor asked curiously while she crossed her arms. “Dethra said it was a fun festival. She’s going to winnow us there and back,” You responded, a bit defensively.

“She can winnow you back all the way from the spring court?” Mor said, surprised. You always forget that Dethra has a lot more power than she lets on.

“It’s in the Spring Court?” You honestly don’t know much about any of the courts or their events. Most of the time in living in the forest, the courts were stuck under Amerantha’s spell, and you were only six-teen when her attack hit.

“Well, every court can have Calanmai, but the large event is in the spring co-” Cassian interrupted Mor, walking up to you both with purpose, “I’m sorry, you mean to tell me that you want to go to Calanmai and you don’t even know what Calanmai is?” Cassian replied in a frustrated tone, putting a hand through his loose black hair.

“Nesta told me that Rhysand met Feyre at Calanmai; that seems fairly romantic and maybe…” Maybe your Prince Charming will show up… if only he knew he was your prince Charming. Cassian shot a stern glare at Nesta, “Yes, Y/N he did, but that is nowhere near the whole story.”

“Am I not allowed to explore things on my own? Do I have to run everything I do past the wise, all-knowing Cassian?” You asked, feeling overly defensive. “Y/N, I think Cassian is just a little worried,” Mor defended, “Calanmai doesn’t always involve... consent,” She finished.

You backed away, consent? You had no idea what she was talking about but knew you had to get going to leave soon as Dethra would be waiting, “Cassian, if you are so worried, then come along; if you don’t want to, then shut up. I am going either way,” You said at Cassian, about to turn around when you heard Nesta laugh under her breath.

Cassian’s face bashfully looked away towards Nesta. “Can you not? This is serious, Nesta; she doesn’t know,” he said, his wings straightening slightly then flexing back. Azriel looked over with a faint grin, and for the first time, this entire conversation spoke up, “It’s a sex festival, where fae have sex to bring magic to the land and crops, not every court will participate in it, but it is a spring festival.”

“You’ve invited Cassian to a sex festival and everything that implies,” Nesta finished. There was unchecked anger coming from you at this point. Are they trying to make fun of you? Are they really trying to make you believe something ridiculous just because you grew up uneducated in a shack and seem gullible?

“Ha Ha, very funny, I am on the ground laughing as if an entire festival would be about sex! I understand I am uneducated compared to you guys, but you don’t need to be mean about it,” You said. You turned around, refusing to listen to anyone else, including Cassian calling you from behind.

You walked out to meet Dethra, telling her everything that just transpired. She also agreed they sounded stupid.

—————————————-

When you and Dethra got there, you could not believe how beautiful the festival was. The Spring court has nothing on Velaris, but it was still beautiful. Lights were floating along the roads, guiding groups of fae towards a large bonfire.

You couldn’t believe why Cassian would be against this, making up crude jokes to try to keep you away. You put thoughts of that away, amd decided to follow the fae. You and Dethra held hands so you wouldn’t get lost; the farther you walked towards the bonfire, the more crowded it got.

Fae’s were dancing on each other, intimately, with music that got louder the closer to the fire you both got. As you two slowly were making your way, you felt hands groping you as you walked. Women and male hands, which you thought was a little weird. You and Dethra unsuccessfully tried to pick up speed, but the crowd was getting tight. After a few more minutes of walking you couldn’t see Dethra in front of you anymore through the crown, but you still held onto her hand with a death grip.

You both kept going for what felt like ages until Dethra’s hand stopped moving. This sudden halt of movement caught you off guard. You collided into her back and tripped on yourself, falling and roughly hitting the ground. As you were trying to get up, someone stepped on your ankle.

Pain shot through your ankle. That might be sprained. Dethra felt you go down, as she was still holding your hand. She saw you on the ground and pulled you up, helping you to her side at the front of the crowd. The pain in your ankle went away for just a moment when you realized what was at the front of the crowd. Hundreds of naked fae were around the bonfire… fucking each other.

The music was pounding in your ears. You’re only now realizing it is more of a romantic tune than a party tune. The fire was so high it looked like it was touching the sky and so bright it illuminated many naked people you didn’t want to see.

“Y/N” Dethra yelled at you. Despite standing directly beside her, it was still tough to hear her. “I think Cassian might have been right about this being a sex festival.”

“Are you sure, Dethra?” You asked back sarcastically. Both of you broke into a fit of laughter. Dethra winnowed you out of the crowd, to the back. You both were still laughing about it, and she helped you sit down, “Did we just witness the world’s largest Orgy!?” Dethra asked between giggles.

“Witness it? Dethra, we were almost apart of it!” You could not believe they were telling the truth. Does sex really help the crops? The science or magic of it was not making sense at all. The laughter in you was dying down slightly. Dethra inquired about your ankle. It thankfully didn’t hurt too much as long as you did not walk on it.

“Why is it all I want to do is run and tell Cassian this story?... Even if it means admitting he may have been right,” You wondered out loud to Dartha. You were happy, and you wanted to laugh about this with Cassian.

“May?” Dethra started to laugh again, “Y/N, May implies there was room for him to be wrong. If that wasn’t a sex festival, then I don’t want to know what it is” You smiled back at Dethra. Your ankle is looking a bit reddened and swollen by now. You could probably heal it yourself, but you’d need to focus, which was hard to do with all the music and naked fae around you.

“Do you want to winnow back now, Y/N?” She asked, bending down to look at the ankle. You hummed a permissive response and looked up at the night sky. The spring court was nice, but the night sky could never compare to the night court’s sky. Even at your shack in the Night court, it always made you feel safe when looking at those beautiful stars and colours.

This sky definitely doesn’t feel like home. Maybe it’s because you are so used to Cassian and the inner circle being under that beautiful sky.

“Do you need some help?” a male’s voice called from behind. We turned to look at five stranger fae males. “No, thank you, we were just leaving,” Dethra said while reaching out for my hand. They were surrounding us so quickly, “Hey, get away from us!” Before you could reach Dethra’s hand, someone pulled you back.

“What are pretty little young things like you two doing so far from the celebrations” One pulled you up, but your ankle gave out; letting out a cry, you fell into the man who pulled you. “Wow, she is all over me,” The stranger said, wrapping an arm around you, despite your protests.

Another stranger reached out to grab Dethra, but she landed a quick kick to his reaching arm. He let out a chain of swear words and went charging at Dethra. She looked back at me before she started to sidestep the larger man chasing her.

“Dethra winnow! Go get someone,” You couldn’t run away on this ankle; there is no way. But maybe she should grab someone from the townhouse. Hopefully, someone is home. You cursed all the times you turned Cassian down for training. Oh, how well he trained Feyre and Nesta, you could have been useful to yourself now.

“I am not leaving you,” She protested, three of the men now closing in on her, “Please Dethra,” Just as one man went in to essentially bear hug her and hold her down, she winnowed away, screaming sorry.

You knew this was for the best. You two couldn’t deal with this many people, especially being down an ankle. You could have winnowed out faster and not even been in this mess if you could have stood up and correctly reached Dethra’s hand.

If you just listened to Cassian, to begin with, you would not be in this mess.

“Well, I guess it’s just you then” The man holding you reached under your shirt, while another started to undress your pants. You screamed as loud as you could, begging them to stop, begging for help. Earning laughs from the men.

A third man grabbed your chin, leaned down to your ear, and whispered, “Firstly,” He said, placing a kiss to your neck, “No one can hear you,” He bit down abrupt, drawing blood,

“Secondly,” he paused to roughly nibble your ear, “Tonight especially, no one is listening,” He licked a long line up down to your collar bone. “Welcome to Calanmai” You couldn’t hold back the tears and sobs racking your body. This is what Mor meant by consent.

“Please, don’t,” You said between sobs closing your eyes tight. You started hitting and twisting anything you could until they grabbed your arms and legs to hold you still. “Please, stop,” You begged as you felt your shirt fully come off. Multiple hands were groping and laughing.

Weirdly, you felt the first man release you, making you fall to the ground. You looked up to see why he let you go because surely it wasn’t your sobs that made him doublethink. The man was on the ground a few meters away from where you were.

You couldn’t see clearly what was happening through your tears, but you recognized those blurry wings, and that sent- it smelt like Home.

“Cassian!” You screamed at him, overjoyed he was here. He didn’t look at you; he focused on the man on the ground, slowly approaching him. The other men around you stopped touching you and were intently watching.

“Hey, er… Sir, I am sorry I didn’t know she was taken,” He said, staring up at Cassian, crawling away from him a little. “It doesn’t matter if she was taken or not, because,” He picked him up by the shirt, “She said no.” Cassian finished as he brought down a punch into the man’s face, knocking him out cold.

With this action, the other four men got up, ready to fight. But, little did they know they weren’t any match for Cassian, the Commander. Three of them charged Cassian, and you swear you could have seen him smile, ready for the fight.

“Cassian, be careful, please,”  You shouted at him. You knew he could handle it, but Cassian was your mate. You couldn’t stomach the thought of him being hurt.

“Y/N, Get Out Of Here Now!” Cassian shouted, fighting the three boys. It looks like he came without any siphons, meaning this is just hand to hand combat, which again no doubt he can handle this, but you should help. “You’re an idiot if you think I am leaving you,” Your ankle was hurting, but you weren’t leaving your mate, even if you’d probably be just getting in his way.

You painfully stood up and looked at the fourth man, waiting for his turn to jump in. It was the same man who bit your neck and drew blood. You launched yourself at him the best you could, given your lack of skill and injured ankle.

This action caught both the man and Cassian by surprise, “Ach,” The man said, falling to the ground with you on top of him. You used this position to keep him down and started hurling punches into his face. The first few landed gracefully, but you weren’t expecting how hard it would be to punch someone. It quickly became tiring and painful to your hands and wrists,

When the man under you noticed your fatigue he used it to his advantage. Flipping you over and returning those same punches to your face. You used your two arms to protect your head, lifting them side by side in front of your face.  

Cassian, who had two men left to deal with at this point, switched his attention straight to you, calling out your name. A mistake that earned him a substantial hit to his face, leaving a bleeding nose.

“Here!” The fifth man threw the man on top of you a knife. Cassian and the other two men zoned out from your focus, as all your attention was on the blade. “You are turning out to be more trouble than it’s worth,” He said while holding you down and cutting your pants off. An action at this point, you are sure, was only to piss Cassian off.

The man made you stand up, put the knife to your neck, and looked for Cassian, probably to taunt him, although Cassian wasn’t there. Where Cassian was, laid two bodies. One being the first man Cassian knocked out, and the second being one of the three who charged Cassian.

Only it was evident that his neck was broken.

“Where Is He?!” The man holding you shouted at one of the remaining males. But he just shook his head and pointed up. All three of you looked up, only to see a body falling, landing by the other bodies. He wasn’t dead, but he sure would not be okay.

Cassian must have flown him up, only to drop him.

To your right, the last remaining man who charged Cassian fell to the ground, a knife through his stomach. As he fell, it revealed Mor behind him. She must have winnowed in undetected and saw what was happening.

“Mor!” You screamed. Her attention changed to you as she evaluated your predicament. Cassian landed beside her and started heading towards you, but the last man only tightened his grip and the knife on your neck. “Cassian, wait,” Mor said to him, not wanting the male holding you to make a fatal decision

“Let her go, now.” Cassian didn’t shout, he calmly said to the male, like it was an order. The male laughed in a satirical way. “You’re fucking joking with me, right? You killed or…” He looked around to see if any of his friends were still alive; most were alive-ish. “Injured, and you expect me just to let her go?” He looked Cassian in the eyes and grabbed the knife, leaving a small cut on your neck, then licking it slowly up.

No No No, you weren’t going to let him do this. You weren’t going to die without telling Cassian you loved him, without telling him you were sorry about tonight, and without telling him, you were his mate.

This is not the way you are going out.

“Cassian, I am sorry,” You said to him, just in case what you were about to do didn’t go to plan, but you were pretty sure it would. You trusted Mor and Cassian, who both had their eyes nailed to you and that knife. “Shut up,” The man said in your ear.

You smiled and shouted, “Turns out it was a sex festival” The man didn’t have any restraint on your hands or arms, so you sent one hard punch in between the man’s balls. This made him shove you to the ground as he crouched over in pain. In an instant, Cassian was on the man.

Mor grabbed you and made you face away. She gave you a big deep hug, which you returned. You didn’t know if the man was dead or alive, and you didn’t care. You just wanted Cassian right now. You just wanted him safe. The sobs came back, full-blown, making it hard to breathe.

Mor rubbed your back and held you tight, whispering sweet words into your ears. “I want to go back to Velaris,” You begged Mor in nothing more than a whisper. Cassian put a warm hand on your shoulder, showing he was ready too. “Take me home, Mor.” There was surprise on Mor’s face as that is the first time you called Velaris home, but that is what it was to you; that is what Cassian was to you too.

Cassian took off his shirt and pulled it over top of your head. He was covering you up. You suppose you may have to owe Dethra for that beautiful outfit that now lay ruined on the ground. Cassian picked you up into his arms and gave Mor a look,

It was mere seconds and a flash, and we were back. Home.

“Is Dethra okay?” You asked, feeling fatigue take you over. The melting feeling from being in Cassians arms wasn’t helping. “She is okay, worried, but okay,” Mor said, opening the door to the townhouse for you and Cassian, “When she found me and filled me in, I sent her home, and I winnowed over to you and Cassian,” Mor finished.

“Wait, Cassian, you weren’t with Mor?” You asked him, but he just didn’t reply to you. As a matter of fact, you noticed he wouldn’t look at you at all. Is he mad? You started to wonder. He did get hurt because of you; there was still blood across his face.

“Cassian followed you and Dethra to Calanmai to keep an eye on you guys,” Mor answered. He did come along then; he must have lost you both ether in the crowd or when you and Dethra winnowed away from the bonfire. My prince charming

You reached up and cupped his face in your hand, which he didn’t flinch away from. Your hand traced his jaw bone, his lips, and landed on his bloody nose. A white glow admitted from your fingertips, and within a few seconds, you had fixed his nose.

“I am sorry I got you hurt, Cassian,” You reached your arms around his neck. Almost like a hug, fingers glazing his wings. He stiffened in response but allowed you, “Thank you both for helping me,” Mor smiled at you in return and motioned that she was going to the kitchen to get some tea for you both, to help relax.

“Cassian, please talk to me,” Every bone in your body needed him to forgive you. “Please, I didn’t want for you to get hurt” You even tried to help him take down that one guy, Although it didn’t go as planned.

Cassian still refused to look or speak to you, causing tears to run down your cheeks. You didn’t think you had any more tears to cry, but the thought of your mate being angry with you was heavy emotionally to handle in your state.

“Y/N, I heard what happened!” Feyre rushed into the main entrance we were in with Nesta and Elain by her side. “Rhys and I would have come, but because we are the high lord and high lady, it could have caused diplomatic issues,” Feyre said, explaining how she wanted to be there for you.

Feyre looked you and Cassian up and down, “Cassian, your face,” There was still dried blood smeared over it, “Don’t worry, Feyre, Y/N healed it. I just need to wash,” He said. The first words you’ve heard him say since the fight.

“Y/N, what hurts?” Nesta said as she ushered Cassian to bring you upstairs to your room. Ignoring her question, you said, “I am sorry, Nesta, I should have believed you. Dethra and I knew nothing about Calanmai, obviously.” You don’t care about your pain; you just need them to forgive you for being reckless and putting Cassian and Mor at risk.

Feyre spoke up, “Dethra was in Valaris for all of Amarantha rule, she would have never been at the age to go to a Calanmai in the spring court until recently,”

“But none-the-less, Tamlin said he’d be trying to make Calanmai better for the women fae who attend; I guess we still are waiting to see any change,” She said, following you two up the stairs. “A woman should not have to worry about being raped when attending a festival,” Elain said, earning an approving hum from everyone in the room.

Cassian responded by squeezing you a little bit tighter but still refusing to look at you.

“I am still learning about Fae events and traditions,” Nesta responded. That’s right, Nesta was human once; she didn’t grow up fae. While you did grow up fae, you were alone, isolated in a shack for fifty-four years-even during Amarantha, until Cassian found you.

“Dethra said you injured your leg?” Feyre asked you, concerned. They’d probably are wondering why Cassian was carrying you still. He hasn’t even attempted to let you go, not that you minded.

“My ankle, it got stepped on in the crowd on a bad angle.” You lifted it slightly to glance at it, its colour was a deep purple, and the swelling looked much worse than before, most likely because you had to put weight on it during the fight. “I’ll heal it. I just need to sit down and concentrate,”

“I poured you a bath and put a tonic in it; it should help with any achy muscles.” Feyre, the high lady of the night court, poured you a bath. How lucky you felt to be surrounded by these caring people. “Thank you, I...I really appreciate you doing that.” You responded.

“That’s what family does,” Elain said simply. Heat rose to your face; you haven’t had a family in a very long time. For Elain to say that without feeling obligated from the mating bond between you and Cassian, you knew she meant it.

You have lived in Velaris for a while now that you think about it. Despite your avoidance of hanging out with them, they’ve still never stopped inviting you. They moved you into their home when they found out you were lonely, they always kept you fed, and they try to include you.

“Family...” You said under your breath, barely audible. Laying your head down on Cassian’s shoulder.

“Do you need any help with the bath?” Feyre asked, approaching your room door. “Thank you, but I’ll be fine once I heal my ankle. She nodded and turned to Cassian. “Cass, do you need anything? A bath poured?” She wondered. “Thanks, Feyre, but I think I’ll be good.”

The three girls left down the hallway, leaving Cassian and you alone outside your room. “Cassian? Thank you for carrying me, but are you going to put me down?” You asked him, feeling a little uncomfortable about how he won’t talk to you- or look at you.

“If that is what you want,” He replied, lowering you onto the end of your bed. Sitting up and looking straight at the vanity mirror across the room, you couldn’t help the tears that slid out. Your face was red, bloody, and bruised. Most likely from the punches of that vial man.

Cassian knelt in front of you and grabbed your injured ankle gently enough not to hurt it, and removed the shoe you had on it. You brought your hand down, meeting his bruised ones that sat over top of your ankle. White light admitted from your fingertips again, only for a few seconds, healing both his hands and your ankle.

You finished, but his hands remained still. He still wouldn’t look up at you. “Cassian, please look at me,” You begged him. You brought your fingers under his chin to lift, to meet your eyes. “Cass,”

“Y/N, I can’t,” He said, moving his hands up to your calf and rubbing a small circle with one. “Why not,” You asked. You wanted to know why he was so angry with you. “I need to know, Cass.”

“I was there the entire time, Y/N. I followed you two, and I still couldn’t stop you from getting hurt,” He paused, sulking further. “Your face currently is a reminder of my failure, of what almost happened,” You could have been hurt much worse, or even- most likely killed.

“Cassian,” You said, a little annoyed. “You are not my protector, and you are not my bodyguard. You are my…” You paused; no, now was not the time. “Friend, I will not rely on you to save me all the time. I should have accepted your requests to train before running off to a strange different court.” At least learn to protect yourself a little more,

“Also, I got these bruises on my face from fighting back; they are a reminder of how for one second I wasn’t completely useless.”

“You should have run when I told you too, Y/N.” He said, still not meeting your eyes. “I was not going to leave you. I am perfectly aware of how well you could handle those men, Cass, but,” He’s your mate, of course, you had to ensure he was okay.

“But?”

“But… I couldn’t handle the risk of you getting hurt,” Because of me, you wanted to add, “I had to stay.” You said, Your healing powers could help, plus you wouldn’t run away from a fight your family is in, no matter what. That’s just not who you are.

“You got hurt because you didn’t listen to me,” Half right, more in the sense of you not understanding Calanmai. But also, not true at all. “I got hurt because bad people thought it was okay to hurt me,” You said back.

“Cass, you are not to blame for me getting hurt, and I am not to blame either. The assaultants are to blame. And because of you, I don’t think they will be able to hurt people ever again.” You shouldn’t be held accountable for someone sexually assaulting you. It does not matter what clothes you wore, or if you were taken or not. They assaulted you; they are to blame.

You grabbed Cass’s hands and removed them from your leg. You brought them to your face, closing your eyes. You traced your jawbone with his hands, white light being admitted, healing your face as you both would touch it. This made it look like his touch was healing your face. When you were finished, you opened your eyes, and he was looking at yours, with his beautiful hazel eyes. The both of you just sat and stared at each other for a minute, taking each other in.

He led your hand down to your neck, where there was a bite. Again, white light seeped through your fingertips, making your skin look perfectly new. He glazed his thumb over where the man sliced your neck. “I thought he was actually going to kill you,” He said, swallowing hard.

He leaned in, slowly, as if waiting for you to stop him. When you didn’t, he pressed his lips to the end of the dried cut. Leaving a sweet kiss over the top of it and returning to look at you again. Like a mother does to their child, kissing away their boo-boo.

You brought your thumb over top of his and used your magic one last time, tracing along with the paper-thin slice on the side of your neck. His hands stayed there, and you two sat in silence. Nothing needed to be said.

Stealing your attention from the heavy trance you were in, a knock sounded on the door. Mor walked in, seeing you both in an exciting position before you both separated at the sight of her. Cassian was kneeling before you, with his hands on your face and neck and your hands permissively on top of his.

“Tea?” She asked with a smirk, bringing it in and sitting it down. You offered Mor an apology for not listening to her about Calanmai and thanked her one last time. “I’m just glad you’re okay, Y/N. If you two need anything, I’ll be down the hall.” She dismissed herself and shut the door behind her.

It was just you and Cassian again.

He looked so beautiful, shirtless still, of course. The blood on his face and knuckles have dried now, no physical damage left on him, thankfully. You stood up, painlessly now, and grabbed his hand. You led him into the bathroom and sat him on the ridge of the tub.

Grabbing a towel, you wet it slightly and started dabbing his hand. The warm water made the blood unclump and wash off easily. Wetting it again, you moved to his face, gently rubbing it around his face.

He grabbed your waist and brought you close, “Here, let me,” He took the face towel from your hands and laid it over the side of the tub. “May I?” He asked while grabbing the ends of his shirt that you were wearing. With your approving nod, he lifted it over your head, discarding it to the ground.

Bringing you closer to him, he took the towel and returned the favor. Cleaning your face and neck of the blood, of the scent of those men, and replacing them with loving memories of your mate. You couldn’t handle this much more. You wanted him as your partner and as your mate.

“Cass,” You were going to tell him, and if he didn’t like it, then so be it. But this raw moment the two of you were having was too much for you to keep this to yourself. You wanted to comfort him in ways only a mate could, and you wanted that same comfort back.

Placing two hands on your waist, he stood up. You have never been this close to him, felt this intimate with him. He towered over you, his wings even taller. He brought a hand down to your cheek, swiping hair away slowly, very slowly.

“Yes, Y/N,” He said, staring into your eyes. He was so close you could just.

And you did.

Leaning forward, you gave him a small, innocent, longing kiss. Just small enough to gauge his reaction. And boy, was it a positive reaction. He returned the kiss, and it wasn’t nearly as innocent as yours.

“Cass, I don’t know,” You were uncertain how exactly to tell him. “Y/N, I like you a lot. So whatever you want to tell me, go ahead,” He urged you. “Don’t worry,” So reassuring.

“We are mates.” It’s said, and you refused to look at him now, or it will give away how afraid you are he will reject the bond. You didn’t want to like or love anyone this much because it was far too nerve-racking.

“I don’t think the mating bond snapped in for you when it did for me” You played with your fingers in your hand, “I wasn’t sure you’d feel the same, and I didn’t want you to be obligated to be with me. I even tried avoiding you, but it didn-” He cut you off with a sweet kiss to your forehead.

He rested his chin on your forehead, “It snapped for me today, but I’ve liked you much longer than that, Y/N. That was actually the conversation the four of us were having downstairs before you walked in” He paused, “Discussing how much I wished you didn’t avoid me.” Oh. The happiness that flowed through you right now. Nothing could compare to it. “It snapped, then you almost got killed,”

“I almost lost you before I could be with you, and tell you.” Cassian. You brought his hands to your lips and left small kisses on each till he removed his hands from yours. Bringing them to your face and kissing you, you only deepened it by wrapping your hands around his neck.

It wasn’t lustful or lewd, but wanting. Wanting in the way of someone who has lived a long time waiting for their mate, waiting for someone to love, waiting for you.

At least it wasn’t lustful until you touched a particular part of his wings.

You pulled apart because you felt you owed him an explanation. “I avoided you because I felt like a stray dog you brought back. I didn’t want you to feel obligated to like someone who didn’t even have a house,” You responded. “Well, I can assure you with one hundred percent certainty I have never felt obligated to be around you. I’ve always wanted to be around you.”

“Now I understand why I felt that pull,” The mating bond.

Cassian backed up a little, taking you all in. “Well, I better get you something to eat.” You said, trying to make light talk. The statement earned a beautiful smile from him, making your stomach feel fluttery and your ears warm. “After. You are kinda dirty,” He said playfully back,

“The water will get cold, and you need a bath.” He put the dirty face towel into the hamper, “Hey, so do you!” You retaliate back, the audacity of this man. You were already pretty bare and itching to get out of your underclothes. Your regular clothes got cut off at Calanmai, and you got tossed around in the dirt a lot, dirtying your underclothes.

Of course, he was no better. You proceed to walk over to him and non-verbally ask him to take his pants off. The shirt he gave you was already discarded on the ground, and good for that as it had his dried blood on it.

You felt safe with him, knew he was not the type of man to take advantage of you. You supposed that was one of the pros of getting to know your mate before accepting your mating bond. You felt his good intentions, his very being in your bones.

“Would you like to bathe with me, Cass?” You asked him, smiling. He returned the smile, but with weary eyes. “Y/N, you want me naked that bad?” He said playfully. This Made you laugh loud. The first time you laughed since you accidentally walked in on an orgy today, and of course, it’s because of your mate.

“I would like to clean myself; I’d thought we’d save water if we bathed together. Nevermind if you do-” He kissed you, interrupting you. “Of course I would like to. The only thing is your bath is not big enough for the both of us, plus my wings.” Oh. You hadn’t thought of that.

He stood looking at the bath, “Well, we can try; however, it will be a tight squeeze” He walked over close to you. His warm fingers were grazing your back along where your bra detaches. He left small pecks of kisses along your shoulder as he undid the piece of clothing.

It came undone, and you held it up as the straps fell. He leaned in for a kiss, and you subconsciously put your arms around him, letting the bra fall to the ground. Discarded. The way he was kissing you was nothing like those men did, it was so loving and warm, but still, they were becoming needy. A small moan ripped from your lips as he backed you against the wall.

Then nothing.

“We better get in that bath before it gets cold, and no funny business because there isn’t any room,” Cass said with a smile, removing his pants and cauldron did you try your best not to look below his waist. Cassian hopped into the tub, you followed after removing your underwear.

You sat facing away from him, between his legs. This relaxing feeling stayed for a while as Cassian washed your back and front, exploring every inch of your skin he could reach. You couldn’t help but relax into his touch, a familiar fatigue setting in.

“Y/N, Tell me,” He started, “Are you okay after what happened today?” You knew he was talking about those men. The thing is, everyone handles their trauma differently. And knowing they most likely can’t hurt another woman sets your mind at ease. “Yes, Cassian, Thank you.”

“Although, I’d like you to teach me how to fight, to train me like you did Nesta and Feyre.” He nodded, “It would be my honor to have your sweaty body under mine,” He teased back. Still serious enough to understand why I was asking.

“And you?” You asked, turning around, slowly to not disturb the water, kneeling in front of him in between his legs. You knew he was upset today; you worried him. You returned his touch, exploring his skin now. You felt scars along his chest and arms, most likely from battle and training. “I am.”

Reaching behind him for his wings with a new face towel, you gently washed the parts of his wings you could touch. He seemed to sink into the feeling until you grazed the top part of his membrane. “Not….there Y/N,”

“Did I hurt you?” You asked, slightly concerned there may have been an injury there that you didn’t see. You were going to bring your hand back to heal it when he grabbed your arm, looking you in the eyes. “No, that’s an intimate area of Illiyan’s, and it feels....” He placed a small kiss behind your ear. You understood, a blush creeping up to your face, you sat back up.

Cassian got out walking to the counter, and grabbed two towels. There was no modesty, you’ve now seen of all of your mate. Your beautiful handsome mate. “I am going to go to my room to fetch clean clothes, but I would like to come back tonight,” You eagerly nodded, thinking of all the times you’ve dreamt of the moment you get to have a bed with your mate in it.

“I should find a way to thank Feyre, that bath was very nice. I still can’t believe she did something like that for me,” Family she said

“Just like you said, Valeris is home; everyone has always liked you. I’m afraid since you were avoiding me, you may not have seen the affection they gave you and seen how happy they were to have an addition to the family,” Cassian replied.

“You are right. The only person I noticed pay attention was Azriel when he figured out we were mates, and that is only because he confronted me about it,” You stepped out yourself, wrapping yourself in the towel Cassian held out for you.

“Sorry.” Cassian smiled a little deviously, “Az knew this entire time?” Maybe you should have kept that between you two, “He didn’t say anything only because I begged him not to tell,” You explained to your mate. You didn’t fully understand the relationship between them, only knowing a little about the camps they grew up at. “Oh, I will be getting revenge for this”

You followed him to your bedroom, and before he opened the door, he left a chaste kiss on your lips. You turned around, a smile planted on your lips while you shift through your drawers for pj’s.

As Cassian stepped out, you heard two voices on the other end of the door,

“Cassian!?” It was Rhys. He didn’t sound as close; maybe he was down the hallway. Probably just coming home from overseeing the camps tonight with Azriel. “I heard what happened. Are you two okay?” He sounded very concerned.

“I think they may be more than fine,” You heard Azriel say with a smirk in his tone. You bet Cassian being drenched, dressed in nothing more than a towel covering his waist, and standing outside your room implied we were doing just fine. “Hey, I heard you kept a significant secret from me,”

You heard their conversation continue as they walked away, Cassian most likely filling them in on the details of today. There may need to be some explanation sent to the spring court about the condition of those males. Who knows, not your worry right now.

You got into your nightclothes and waited under the covers for Cassian.

He returned a few minutes later, dressed, and with... “ I thought I was supposed to cook you food?” You asked playfully, sitting up. “It’s only some broth, and I technically didn’t cook it,” He said, placing it down at the vanity table. “Besides, I think it’s fair to say we don’t need an old tradition to confirm that we have accepted our mating bond,” He stated, waiting for you to agree with him.

“Well, I was kind of looking forward to a nice cook meal,” You replied. He crawled over to you on the bed, “Is that so?” He replied, leaning in for a kiss. “I could manage to survive without it,” You replied, reaching up and meeting his lips.

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I feel better integrating these concepts into my writing because I like to make it clear it is not okay, it is not your fault, and more. I blamed myself a lot when I experienced this. If I ever write a fic surrounding sexual assault, I would clarify that you don’t need a “Prince Charming” to make everything better.

Also, SJM new book comes out, and if NEsta and Cassian aren’t endgame, I will be furious.