covertenforcer

[covertenforcer]

An eyebrow raised, Dimitri's attention moved to the restaurant. His head tipped to the side, looking it over. Unassuming, boring, he had never really considered eating there and Italian wasn't something he necessarily enjoyed. "There's a small restaurant that is open if you need a place to eat. Called Stolovaya. Fantastic stroganoff." It wasn't exactly Italian, but pasta and all that, what did it matter? "Even better for you: it's neutral territory. You have less chance of your meal being...disturbed or anything. Just peace and quiet, what any of us want." And hopefully a clear sign that it may be best to just keep walking.

Dimitri turned back to him. blue eyes looking him up and down, clearly sizing the other up. Just in case. Finally, he withdrew a hand from his pocket. Empty, outstretched. "Dimitri. I'm pretty sure I've seen you around before in not so great company."

Going into Brotherhood territory was not something Suresh felt like announcing. So he'd dressed down to blend in a little bit better. Not that he was trying to hide just not cause a stir. A simple recon. Put eyes on the building and the surrounding area. Something Nick had said would be expected. But he wasn't dropping his guard. Last thing he needed was a knife in the fucking back. Which had put him in front of La Vita Vino.

The voice drew his attention. A careful blank expression like he wasn't expecting the man to be talking to him. He eyed the guy up as he turned and came back towards Suresh. He put his hands in his pockets but opened his coat as he shrugged, see? No trouble meant, "I gathered that from the closed sign." Turning his attention a little more towards the other, "Kind of looks like a place that unironically serves mozzarella sticks and has those wine jugs with the red drippy candles on each table. You ever eaten here?"

[covertenforcer]

@suresh-lal

It wasn't a place he'd normally pay attention to. In fact, he often just walked right past it. But something about the person just outside had caused a double take. Dimitri paused, eyebrows furrowing, keeping his hands in his pockets. Generally speaking, he kept away from the Syndicate. They weren't, his target, weren't part of his assignment. One little run-in with one of their members, but he had simply been collateral damage. Enemy of my enemy, though he by no means liked the idea of their little organization. Just more criminals, all of them ruining the lives of the common people.

"I don't think it's open yet if you're hoping to eat here." He had turned around, now approaching the other man. "Though, I'm sure there are plenty of other Italian places to eat." Play the part, simply act as though he was ensuring the territory lines were clean.

[covertenforcer]

At least he had managed to gain a laugh at the horrible joke. Dimitri's own lips pulled into a smile. He was good with people in that way, it was why he did well undercover. He knew how to both blend in and gain the trust of others, seeming like the perfect criminal. It was just a shame so many lines had to be blurred for him to get answers. "As much as I'd like to see you do an Elvis impression, holy spirit is much more up your alley. Just slightly blasphemous probably." He could repent for that during confessional next time. "Though I'm sure God has a sense of humour up there somewhere. I mean, why else put a priest at a party surrounded by people who have opposite morals?" Strange friends he kept.

Dimitri let out a breath before taking a drag of the cigarette. Not everything could come out, but he could at least twist some truths here and there to avoid any suspicion as well as make sure no one else found out. It still didn't sit right with him, a gnawing in his gut. Funny how he could feel guilt over lying to a priest but when his knuckles were bruised and bloody, there was a silence in his chest. No remorse, no guilt, like any sort of common individual going to work each day. But he and Jude had gone over that, the guilt of no guilt.

"Let me start then," he offered, blue eyes finding where Jude's likely were. "Shvedov is my family name. Well...our original last name. Great grandfather and great grandmother move here right after the Revolution as Shvedov. Then few decades later, Americans start to not really care for Russians so the name was changed to Shay." Two major points in history altering the family in some way, both to flee the country and then to blend in with the other Americans. Of course, the family still had strong ties to their home country in terms of language and tradition if Dimitri was anything to go by. His brother, on the other hand, had rejected the traditions they had been raised under in favour of a more American lifestyle.

"I had some criminal offenses when I was a kid. Nothing major. But when I got out of the military, I got sucked back in. Only worse. In and out of jail for a bit." That was where the lie would begin, weaving it in for a story of truth that might bring some understanding between them. "Couple of years ago, I got in a fight with someone and others took notice of how I handled myself. Thought I could do good work for them. I gave them Shvedov so they couldn't find my military records. I hurt people for a living...can you imagine what they might expect if they knew what I was really capable of? That's why in the church, I panicked. I don't want to go back to killing people like I did in the military."

There had been some debate over in when putting together a file for him to include the military or not. It would give credibility to his fighting skills for one, make him that much more intimidating. It was eventually thrown out due to the risk of expectations, Dimitri just had to control how he fought. Street fighting versus anything that might be trained. "I actually got into it with a guy recently. He made threats against a relative of mine so I beat the shit out of him. He wasn't on good terms with the Brotherhood anyways so it was easy. Didn't want to kill him though but I could have. I don't think he realised that." Though from what he had heard, the guy was dead anyways. Clearly he just couldn't learn to shut his fucking mouth.

Without sin there would be no need for grace. Flawed people, making imperfect choices. Jude had made the small, nondescript movement of putting his hand on his left arm. Something that Mathias and him had decided on before they had come. Jude had wanted signals for 'i'm okay' or 'HELP' that they could silently use. The gesture he made was the one letting Mathias know he was okay. The last thing he wanted was for Mathias to come flying out after him and Dimitri. Especially now.

Hopefully there weren't too many more people that could recognize him. But after this. Jude knew they had to leave. It was getting too dangerous and tangled up. But the cool night did feel nice. Even through the sheet. He thought about pulling it back but decided against it. Dimitri might know. A few others that he really wished didn't might know but he couldn't bring himself to take the costume off. Couldn't risk anyone else that might recognize him see him there. Too many questions. "I don't know how much that's going to be. But as long as we're honest about the things we can say. I think we'll be alright."

He watched the smoke curl out of the end of the cigarette, not minding the smell. Jude nodded, "Yes. It makes more sense now." He shook his head, "I didn't think you were over exaggerating. I take people at their word in confession. That's sort of the point." The holy spirit crack actually surprised a small laugh out of Jude and a bit more tension melted away, "I hadn't thought about that... But I like that better than Elvis." Jude leaned against the wall, feeling the cold on his back. "I don't even know where to start..."

[covertenforcer]

For maybe the first time in the time since he had started his undercover work, there was a weight off his shoulders at least a miniscule amount. There weren't many out there he could converse with and be just himself. There were other agents, he would write his mom every so often, and his brother was lost in the wind somewhere. For someone to know at least a small part was a chance to know tell a whole lie for once. And yet, there would still have to be more deceit thrown the way of the priest, no matter how much Dimitri might dislike it. He'd likely have to say a private prayer to ask for forgiveness just for the lying no matter how well intentioned it might be. Sins often were just that.

He gave a nod in the direction of the door, leading Jude past the sea of people. A glance back every now and then to make sure that Jude was still behind him and no other parties were following them outside. There was a brief acknowledgement in his own mind of a signal being thrown towards someone in the crowd that caused Dimitri to raise a brief eyebrow. Not Brotherhood then; another member wouldn't have too much care for Dimitri to step outside with a priest, especially since his religion wasn't exactly a secret.

Once the cool night air greeted them, Dimitri stepped several feet away, ensuring they would have some level of privacy. Hands searched through his pockets, finding the pack of cigarettes to press one between his teeth. "Just say what you're comfortable with. I'll be as honest as I can as well." Lighter in hand, the tip of the cigarette burning cherry red as he inhaled the smoke. Something to calm him as no doubt the topic might shift to places he'd rather not venture. "So, now you know some of what I meant. Enforcer for the Brotherhood. I hope you know I wasn't overexaggerating when I explained hurting people." Better than when he was in the military in the eyes of God, surely. At least he wasn't killing them. "So nix the Elvis joke. Maybe holy spirit is more appropriate."

Jude could keep secrets. He was very good at it. But he was not a good liar. Watching the other man relax Jude knew that, as always, honesty was the best policy. Everyone had secrets they wanted to keep. Things that only God knew. Jude's body relaxed as well as Dimitri seemed to relax. Catholic Confession had some very strict rules on disclosure. According to canon law the sacramental seal was inviolable and betrayal of it was considered an excommunicable offense.Though not everyone knew that.

At the comment about the friend Jude said, "I would do it for any friend that wanted my help." Which was true. And there were people here in attendance that he might have done the same thing for, for different reasons. But there were several people here that he cared deeply about. At the offer of help Jude smiled, then realized that Dimitri couldn't see his face. He shook his head, "I appreciate you saying all of that, truly. But I can't say who they are. I wouldn't want to violate the trust any of you have put in me."

The invitation to go get some air was actually a welcomed one. Though he was worried that it would stress Mathias out if he could see Jude walk out with Dimitri. Knowing the interactions the two have had in the past. But he wanted out of the crowd and they had their meet up spot. He nodded, "I'd be happy to go somewhere a little less loud and crowded. I'll tell you the things I can. But anything I can't isn't because I'm trying to hide things from you. It'll be because I truly can't say."

[covertenforcer]

At least he wouldn't play so dumb. Not like Dimitri had once Jude had recognised him but now they were on equal footing. Both not wanting to be known, both wearing metaphorical masks of their own. As soon as the other relented, Dimitri had visibly relaxed and all suspicion wiped from his face. Here, he was seemingly far more in his element with a carefree expression, drink in hand, and not struggling so much with words. Confession, well, he had to be very careful. Not all priests dabbled in absolute secrecy for confession. With both his past and his status with the Brotherhood, both were best left alluded to rather than outright stated no matter if he knew the priest or not. Words carried quickly.

"Must be some friend. Sure it's always handy to have a priest in your circle." Someone bound to aid whenever they good and an angel on the shoulder, especially if it was someone wrapped up the party. Clearly Jude was more affiliated with the underbelly of the city than Dimitri had thought. "Maybe I know him. Who is he? And, obviously, no judgements on you being here. I'd be a hypocrite if I said anything with the whole going to confessional and then my, um...my work right after." It didn't need to be said still. Jude clearly knew what kind of people were in attendance and Dimitri was just one of many with no so clean hands.

But perhaps they could see eye-to-eye and help out one another. "Maybe we should get some air or something. I think we can come to an understanding of not wanting people to know things. I'll come clean if you do. And I can try to play some distractions if your friend can't help you to not get caught in here."

This was exactly the reason why he had been avoiding people that knew him. Knowing that they had only had the one exchange though Jude had hoped it wouldn't have been enough to settle him into Dimitri's mind. And that the music would also confuse his voice a little bit for those that he wasn't too well known too. They could have a tiny conversation about costumes and Jude would excuse himself as quickly as possible without being impolite. He could do that. He saw the frown and rushed in, "Oh, the Romanovs? They made a cartoon about that?" Pretty dark material from Jude's point of view.

It was a twisted little reversal. He'd recognized Dimitri from a place and time the other hadn't been happy with. And now the younger man was doing the same. His stomach dropped into his feet as the other spoke. There was an internal panic that he grabbed tightly onto, to keep himself from running. He hated lying. But the words started rushing out of his mouth anyway, "I don't know what--" But the look in Dimitri's eyes stopped him. He sighed and shook his head. Forcing a sense of calm into himself. A small silent prayer for protection and guidance. Be honest. He was better when he was honest, "I'm trying to help a friend." He looked at Dimitri and added, "I'm obviously in over my head. And I'm trying to leave as soon as I can. I would appreciate it if you didn't say anything."

[covertenforcer]

The voice, there was a bell ringing somewhere in his head. Maybe more like an alarm. It was enough for the smile to falter and eyebrows to furrow the more he spoke. "It was...Sorry, it was called Anastasia. A what-if about the Russian revolution." There was a whole lot more that he could add, how the revolution was the reason his family first emigrated to the country, but he'd suddenly and clearly become distracted. The environment was full of faces and voices he had become familiar with and yet this one was the one to catch him off guard. And then, as the other went on to explain what might make his costume more Elvis-like, it finally clicked into place for Dimitri. Just where that voice came from.

Sitting down, surrounded by the saints, his heart pounding in his chest in a moment of panic.

The confusion melted from his face as he snapped back to reality and a grin fixed. As if nothing were wrong and whatever had crossed his mind was finally resolved. "Or bedazzle the bed sheet. Though that may be more Freddie Mercury-esque." He easily slid back into the conversation and yet there was a glint in his eyes. Dimitri was taking in the situation, trying to work out just what brought a priest in to such an event. "I guess it must be difficult to throw together a last minute costume. Especially for a party you probably shouldn't be at. Kind of like how you already know my name is Dimitri. Right?" Head tipped to the side, a glimmer of mirth in those bright blue eyes of his as he hoped to catch the other off guard.

"So what brings you here, Batushka? I don't think most of the people here will be signing up for confession afterwards."

Jude had been trying to avoid people that he knew. Because he hadn't wanted to have to actively lie to anyone or to have to explain his presence at this party later. The whole evening was stressful in ways that Jude hadn't had to deal with in ages. And he hadn't had the time to sort through all the information he'd gotten so far this evening. Mathias had finally told him that it had been Dimitri that had beat him that day Mathias had called him for help. His mind drifting back to the others confession and pieces of things clicking together. Brotherhood enforcer.

"What cartoon?" He listened to Dimitri's explanation. And had to smile, "So you came dressed as Dimitri. Because you are Dimitri?" At the other man's guess Jude felt a little tension leave his shoulders. Costume talk was safe. "I mean, I guess I could be? I hadn't thought about being that specific. It was a last minute pick." He looked down at the sheet and then back up, "If I was going to be the ghost of Elvis I probably should have put a crown on or gotten bedazzled sunglasses."

[covertenforcer]

who: @vanyashay where: the palazzo

Months. It had been months since he had started the hunt for his brother since people had started confusing the two. And of all places to find him, it was at the Halloween gathering. He'd seen him from across the club, immediately ceasing the conversation he had been involved in. He had half a mind to drag his ass out back, figure out what the fuck he was doing there. But with tensions as high as they were, Dimitri had to be discrete. Besides, them both being in the same place was certainly going to draw attention. Better to deal with the issue now, the anger could come later on when they were in private.

He leaned against the bar next to his brother, eyes straight ahead on the alcohol rather than his twin. "Anyone ever tell you that you got the ugliest fucking face?" Hell of a way to say hello, that was for sure.

[covertenforcer]

who: @xxmarywhitexx where: the palazzo

The goal of most every day was to keep a low profile, and that was especially true at events like this. Some mingling was required so as not to stand out but he was always keeping his eyes and ears peeled for any sort of information, a constantly rotating gaze around him and maybe only half paying attention to the conversations he chose to partake in; he could just blame alcohol for his lack of concentration later on if he wanted to. But apparently he'd been a bit too preoccupied on a conversation a few feet away from him, half taking a step closer only to run right into someone and his attention had been disconnected from what he had intended to focus on. Instead, it had gone straight to the woman, a hand moving to balance her while the other was quick to hold his drink away to avoid any cliche drenching of anyone with the booze.

"Shit, I am so sorry, you good? I guess I was a bit in my own head there." He managed a sheepish grin, blue eyes still a bit wide from the sudden startle. Trying to monitor everything around him while appearing totally normal wasn't always the easiest in such a busy location.

[covertenforcer]

who: @elizabeaufort where: the palazzo

Well that was certainly a familiar face, and not one he had expected to see in a place full of people like this. Maybe his curiosity got the better of him, maybe it was always a relief nowadays just to not talk constantly to outright criminals, but either way, Dimitri found himself moving through others to approach. A polite smile on his face, the best he could manage in the current situation. "Before you ask, it's Dimitri," was his greeting. Considering he wasn't entirely sure what his twin's appearance was nowadays, better to clear away any confusion right off the bat. "Just, you know, with a much better looking face than you last saw me with."

[covertenforcer]

Dimitri hadn't exactly expected anyone to guess the costume right away, if at all. Certainly a number of guesses had already been thrown his way with varying degrees of absurdity. Honestly, it was more of a joke than most others would realise. Dimitri had only just had time to recover from the brief collision before another guess was directed at him. "It's fine, it's fine," he started, giving a quick glance down to ensure there had been no spillage on his clothes from his drink. Events always ran the risk of a collision. Satisfied, it finally sank in that the person beneath the sheet had made a guess to his costume.

"No, it's, um....it's from a cartoon. Came out when I was a kid, character's name is Dimitri. And, well, when your name is Dimitri and it's not exactly common to the kids in your class, you get a lot of jokes about it." Finally, a crack of a smile at the explanation. While Boston has a Russian population that was fairly heavy, it was still different than a 'John' or 'Timmy' that might be found. Blue eyes looked the other down and his smile grew a little more. "My turn to guess: Elvis Presley's ghost?"

Where: Halloween at the Palazzo

Who: @covertenforcer

Jude had gotten a few steps ahead of Mathias and when he turned around he realized he was now a bit more than a few steps ahead. But the awkward turn made his left leg tremble slightly and he accidentally bumped against someone as he righted himself. "I'm very sorry. My fault." Straightening up and found himself looking at Dimitri. Thankfully the other man couldn't see his expression under the sheet and sunglasses. He looked at the other's costume and made the first guess that came to mind, "Newsie?"

[covertenforcer]

dimitri shay as dimitri (anastasia)!

[covertenforcer]

He did let out a laugh at the idea of switching places with his twin at school. One of the cliches of the many movies and shows about twins. He'd heard it all, every trope in Hollywood thrown his way. Multiple times asked if he and his brother dressed the same. They didn't. "Switching classes wouldn't have been fair. I did okay but my brother, he was the smart one. He would have had to sit in on all my exams if we did that. The only thing I could have done for him was gym class." He'd always focused more on his physical strength. Maybe that was their cliche, brains and brawns. Though Dimitri was far from stupid. "We did switch places on our mother many times. When Vanya started growing his hair out, I think she was relieved." Granted, Dimitri no longer sported the clean cut look he had back then and into most of his twenties.

"Twins aren't that different from normal siblings, though. I mean other than neither of us spent time as an only child before the other was born. We had our good times and bad. Drifted into other circles as teens, got close again in our twenties." Dimitri would often crash at his apartment rather than stay on base when he was back home. Before they had their argument after Dimitri found his drugs. "Now..." He took a breath, shaking his head, "Well, I didn't even know he was in New York as well. I moved out here a couple years ago but we lost touch a while back. Life happens."

⎯ Elizabeth remains with her sympathetic smile as he explains 'not famous'… ❛ Ok, got it. ❜ She nods. Damn, they're so alike. Fortunately, her twins are easy to tell each is, since they have different genders. ❛ As a mother of twins, thank you for the forewarning, so I can prepare myself mentally when they grow older. They may not be identical, but they're a little menace, indeed.❜ Her twins were in the old daycare, the people were always calling her because something happened and she had to go there and solve the issue. The Aussie had no idea what was Vanya deeply. He seemed a nice person, with a good conversation and their connection was nothing but superficial in the get-to-know phase. She was trying to make new friendships, even though after certain things happened to her, she was struggling to back be her normal self.

❛ Oh, good heavens no! ❜ Having a couple of twins already gives her migraine and identical… She can't even fathom it. ❛ Sorry, for the question, I'm about to ask but you probably heard a lot… At school, if you did well in one subject and the other you were awful in it, did you ever ask for your twin to do the activity in your place in the one you 'failed'? If he was good at it of course. ❜ When she was younger she always wished to have a twin sister, maybe to make her company, but as the irony of destiny, she has twin babies. Maybe it was for the best… Her life wasn't easy, so no child deserved to go through what she had been through.

[covertenforcer]

"Shvedov," he answered sharply, "Dimitri Shvedov." It was dangerous, something he might have to report back to office though the last thing he wanted was the job pulled from him. Not after ho much time he had sunk in. New York was crowded and Dimitri had seen his fair share of faces in his life. Both good and bad. But for someone to outright recognise him was a dangerous move. It had happened a time or two in Boston, especially with it being his home city, but now? Well, he certainly had hoped to not have any complications while he was here. No repeats of last time but it was a small world. "Maybe you're getting me confused with him. Someone you know, I assume?"

He was suddenly more hesitant to open up about his own issues. Better to be a passing face rather than someone that might stand out, especially now. he gave a shake of his head, shoulders giving a shrug. "No, no, I mean....everyone has anger issues, right? It's no big deal, I feel better already just talking about it." Of course, that wasn't what helped anger normally nor what confession was strictly for. A finger tapped on his knee as he thought to himself. "It's nothing more than most people, I guess. A bar fight here or there but nothing else." An outright lie, not something he liked to do with a priest.

It had been a mistake to say the name out loud. Watching the tensing of the body, the change in his posture and the flurry of small movements. Exits. Jude immediately felt terrible for causing the other man so much distress. There was a million reasons why someone would deny their military career. Jude wouldn't have judged him for it. And that what he thought that was the reason. And that recognition might be a positive. Someone that knew without having to be told.

Jude was very good with faces. Good with people. Maybe it had been the Russian. The man looked very different. And perhaps he had been wrong. But it had been a terrible mistake either way. The way the man looked at him was much sharper than before. And he gave a small understanding bob of his head, "No, just a last name. I don't think you mentioned your last name." He paused then said, "There are differences, sure. But a similarity is the sacred seal of confession. Just like in Orthodox confessions no one can compel me to reveal the nature or substance of anyone's confession." He left that there for a beat before he said, "We got a little off track there. I'm sorry. You were talking about anger."

[covertenforcer]

Take a breath. Deep breath. Dimitri leaned back in his seat; if either of them were to look stressed, it shouldn't be him. He was supposed to appear in charge of the conversation, especially if any unwanted eyes fell on them. He listened to Selim's analysis of the Syndicate member. A nod here, a thrown in smirk there just for appearance sake though it didn't particularly fit the mood of the actual conversation. Mathias was trouble, there was no doubt about that and he had a feeling on their next encounter, the other would be more prepared. He had thought he was getting Vanya, the recluse and more tame of the two. Not the military trained and aggressive twin. Not to mention probably unaware of how quickly Dimitri might lash out. At least it made the Brotherhood seemed more formidable with an 'attack dog' on their side. Less people might screw around.

"Mathias is already on bad terms with the Brotherhood. He attacked a member a while back so he's on their list. Coming after me directly would put a bullseye right on him." He tried to keep his breathing steady, eyes flicking around for a moment to confirm they were still alone. No sight of anyone unwanted just yet. "Eto vse takaya khernya, chuvak," he muttered in Russian as eyes came to Selim one more. Boston had gone smooth up until the end, right after he turned in evidence and stepped away from the case. Even then, they just thought he was a rat and not an actual government plant. Dimitri still didn't care for a second round of a beating, the last time landing him in the hospital for weeks.

At the mention of a relationship, Dimitri was immediately shaking his head. What little information he had gotten out of Mathias didn't indicate anything like that. "No, no. I think they barely know each other. Mathias, after some...convincing, he told me he had some job. Getting some equations from Vanya for someone else. He was just the delivery man really. Didn't know what for, didn't even know where Vanya is otherwise. Clearly a friendly conversation for him to approach me but...nothing major there. Just one meeting." And Dimitri fully believed that had Mathias known anything more, the little psycho would have spilled it along with the blood coating the ground. "Trust me, if there was anything else...he would have told me. Especially when I said I'd drag his ass to Tristan."

dimitri's frustration speaks to him. selim could tell by the desperation floating in the light blue of his eyes that the interaction had shaken him much more than he would admit to him. the 'pencil pushers' that the other agent mentions gives him purpose to keep this between them and his local contacts; after his husband's conviction, he had come up against them as well. he felt lucky they had believed that his sense of justice hadn't been compromised by the rose colour of love. "okay, take a breath. no bureau - i'll see what i can do with the clearance that i have in regards to your brother. as for mathias, i wouldn't quite classify him as a stereotypical psychopath, at least from what i know of him. most psychopaths aren't violent and even less of them are children. they lack empathy, yes. they have narcissistic traits, yes. they wouldn't see the world in the same ways as you and i would, yes, but this type of violence, unless it was their main source of experience, is very rare." "an eight year old boy murdering his entire family without any documentation of non-correcting negative behaviour before hand - from therapists, family members, or concerned school teachers is unheard of. in children, we see these traits, diagnose them as a conduct disorder, and usually intervene with psychiatric help and behaviour modification in the same way that we can help some neurodivergent children with CBT - you both being on opposite sides of this gang war keeps you relatively safe. although he might not feel guilt or remorse for the loss of your life, he's highly intelligent. he understands that if he kills you, he'll have to answer to the brotherhood or he could potentially put his own group in a precarious situation. instead, like you're already aware, he'll find ways to torture you until you make the first move so that he has self-proclaimed justification for his actions." selim chews his cheek. "when he called you by the wrong name - did you get the feeling that your brother and mathias were friends? enemies? intimates? if we know the nature of their relationship, it'll be easier for us to keep the both of you safe."

[covertenforcer]

For a moment, there was peace. A quiet contemplation of the words spoken. He didn't know what he wanted to hear. Maybe that there were plenty others like him. That it didn't mean anything. But all of that changed the very second his surname slipped out from the priest's mouth. Immediately, he was trying to recall. Had he given the name at the start of the conversation? No, he was certain of that. His body automatically tensed, jaw setting as those fight or flight senses kicked in; the last time he'd been outed had ended up with him taking a metal pole to the skull. Repeatedly. He wasn't just a lost sheep in need of guidance before a priest anymore. Sat straight up, an image of a soldier trained to take down and outright kill. Almost immediately, he was taking note of any exits in the church.

It took a moment, sifting through memories as to how his surname was known. And then it hit him as much as the pole against his skull. Sitting on base before a priest, confessing for the kills he had carrier out in the line of duty. He'd been younger then but so had Dimitri. Apparently still recognizable despite the piercings, tattoos, and grown out hair. He took a breath. Calm down. When he spoke, his voice was clear, so used to lies. "I'm afraid I don't know what a 'Shay' is. Is that a Catholic thing?" Better to feign ignorance though his gaze was now focused in on Jude. "As much as our religions are similar, there's clearly some differences. Or is that a....a Farsi expression or something?" The other had said he spoke the language, after all. Just deny it. Deny everything.

The string of words in Russian made him pause. Not understanding the meaning or the context. He turned and looked at the other man's face for a moment. Considering the other. Anything he said was never meant to dismiss, to offer a different perspective, a possible unseen context, but never to dismiss another's experience or feelings about it. Jude accepted the other's response and nodded his head.

At the question Jude looked at the young man and said, "I don't know. Only you can say." He paused, "But I would suggest thinking about what changed in your life several years ago." At the question he nodded again, letting out a long breath as he thought about it. "Everyone has the potential for violence. I can't speak about anyone else's confessions. But I've sat across from a great deal of people with a great deal of things weighing down their souls. And I've seen and experienced my own violence. I'm not easily shocked." His mind drifted back to his Chaplain days again. The IED. Before. And something clicked into place. The way the light and shade caught the other man's face , maybe it had been the way he said a word.... Thinking back to something and going with a gut feeling he said it very low, "Shay?"

[covertenforcer]

He already knew the file, had done his research on the other gangs in the area. Perhaps part of him had hoped there would be a different assessment from an actual profiler. But a psychopathic killer was still a psychopathic killer. One hand reached up, running through dark locks in a visible look of both concern and frustration. "I don't need the fucking file," he mumbled. He knew it, knew it when he had slammed Mathias against a wall and drew blood. It had been a dangerous move but a risk he had been willing to take in the moment for information. The only saving grace was that, for the moment, Mathias was likely out of play due to the injuries for the time being. It gave Dimitri enough time to set up a plan of action before he recovered or another Syndicate member found out.

"Mathias isn't on great terms with The Brotherhood. It wouldn't look good if I interacted with him and did nothing." A truth, in a way. Not the whole truth. "I didn't exactly plan on interacting with him either. But he approached me. Called me Vanya. So there's a fucking rogue piece out there with my fucking face interacting with other gangs." As great as Dimitri was at improvising when a plan inevitably fell apart, this was one he hadn't counted on. "I also don't want this getting back to the fucking pencil pushers who might thing my mission is compromised. I'll handle it, or at least make sure he's not a fucking threat to everything I've been working on."

although he averts his gaze, selim is sure that dimitri catches the quick, emotional flutter of his eyelashes. the truth was that he had known for quite awhile before he had turned him in; late nights away from their home had turned him onto the possibility of infidelity but he'd gotten much more and much worse than he had expected. at least had his husband been cheating, they could've talked reasonably, perhaps, if it had been serious, they could've spoken of inviting them into their lives, however, he hadn't turned him in to 'save face', he'd turned him in simply because it was the right thing to do - at least in the eyes of the law. the agent only nods in agreement, a nervous anxiety finding his stomach for an entirely different reason. selim hadn't studied many things that had truly startled him but coming across this story had done just that. the tale of childhood psychopathy or even sociopathy was as fear-instilling as it was interesting. "then you have a reason to be worried." selim admits, leaning forward; interesting, he thought, how the world worked. "i first came across his story in grad school - eight year old twins, one dies mysteriously - the only witness? mathias. years later, police respond to the same house where mr. and mrs. cain are found dead as well where their only witness is once again, mathias." he says, "the bureau has an entire file on him - past history, recent history, crimes that we've suspected him of but can never link to him. i can get you the file, if you need it but if you're asking for a risk assessment, you've just angered the most dangerous person in new york. aggression and apathy make a really bad mixture in childhood but in an adult male? it has the potential to be even worse. i would take as many precautions as possible to ensure your safety. - as for your brother, i'm not sure how much i, personally, can help but i can get the information to somebody who can."

[covertenforcer]

It seemed a little too easy to say, a little too neat. To say it was just a callous built up over time. The same thing he'd been told over and over again in the military. But he hadn't been so angry back then, so violent; that hadn't come until later. "Ty by ne skazal tak, yesli by znal, skol'kikh ya ubil i ranil," he mumbled back in Russian. If the priest knew how many he had hurt, how violent he got, or his body count from the military days, there would likely be some concern for the soul. To simply dismiss it all as simply growing tough to it over time didn't sit entirely right with him. Or maybe he simply just wasn't used to the feedback compared to his Orthodox roots. Simply confess and go on, no judgements or instructions to it. "Either way, I don't think this is 'scar tissue' as you put it that I can go without in my career." Dimitri didn't care much for the thought of feeling guilt when he had to act on his role of an enforcer as needed.

"And what would the anger be hiding? I'm not sad under this. I'm not hurting or anything like that. Besides, it didn't kick into full gear until a couple years ago." Of course, he'd had some bouts before then, most spawning after his time in the military, but not the raw rage that was already ready to go off. Like an exposed nerve that when pressed even slightly. Like a bomb ready to go off. "You see this a lot with others? I mean, I think most priests would at least flinch or be concerned about having someone violent right next to them." Not that Dimitri would ever lay hands on a holy figure, his own morals wouldn't allow for that.

Jude had heard the concern before. Many times overseas. That worry when the horror didn't have the same effect it did at the beginning. Those quiet and not so quiet fears from the soldiers that had come seeking some type of guidance or consolation from the numbness. Jude sat quietly listening and he frowned when Dimitri mentioned seeking other chaplains help. He had said he hadn't served. But he spoke like someone that had. Had he sat across from this man before? He didn't ask about the lie. Because obviously the man wasn't ready to talk about some things. Jude looked at the younger man and nodding said, "It's scar tissue. Just like we get calluses on our knuckles, our feet. The numbness is a callous on the soul." He paused, "It can be broken down with patience and time once you no longer need the callous. But it is not something that should make you worry about the state of your soul."

"Anger is not the truth. Anger is another callous. Hiding the real emotion underneath. Find the root that the anger is hiding and feed that. Then and only then the anger will subside. But God sees you, son. He sees you and your struggle and you are not alone."