cowboybutxh - Tumblr blog

[cowboybutxh]

“i think some people are basically coming around to this, like, greater comfort in owning up to being a pervert about something. shout out domino club “being sickos about X” sort of thing, where sickos is the meme of a pervert looking in on something that excites him. the author is sickos about a subject, and indulges himself; the audience are sickos about his indulgence, self recognition via the other - yeah haha sweat really IS that hot, thanks for putting it into disgustingly indulgent words so i can see what you see. i think when writers are afraid to be perverts that they make bad work. they make the work that can’t stand by itself, collapsing on interrorgation or challenge; or too many contrasting and unconfident voices have averaged out to a sort of perversion of the commons, indulging only the safest and most unoffensive fetishes to render on the screen. because when art displays the common fetishes of heterosexual matrimony, fast cars and big guns and big-but-not-gargantuan breasts, labouring under capitalism, even such apparently inoffensive things as such as sexless wholesome romanticism, perfect bodies that refuse to fuck, a prioritising of soft uwu safety over any kind of flavour - these absolutely are fetishes. every day you are smothered in the common perversions of so much of society, endless generic creators indulging their endless generic fetishes while denying that they are in any sort of way perverts.”

— —“Good Writers are Perverts,” typed up in a fugue by Average Urotsukidōji Enjoyer for Domino Club on itch.io

[cowboybutxh]

can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel... i will b free soon

[cowboybutxh]

non black people calling jay-z ugly will always make me feel a little weird

[cowboybutxh]

a stud in black leather on a black motorcycle just revved their engine at me and thank god I tore my demonic uterus out ages ago because I think that would have finally knocked me up

[cowboybutxh]

is that so tumblr user cronenfag

as far as i'm concerned all gore is necessary

[cowboybutxh]

1st day on testosterone :,)

[cowboybutxh]

The more I get back into liking, loving and lusting on people, the more I'm reminded what a sanitized, segregated lie queers have been built into.

I've met the sweetest, prettiest queens who tell me "Well, I'm a transsexual. Sometimes I call myself a transman because both my trans self and my manhood are me."

New friends tell me about the sexcapades their closed polycule gets up to that they just watch because they're a kinky ace.

There's staunch lesbians who helped the love of their life transition as a transmasc, gay men begging to be topped by trans men with the fattest tits.

Older queers don't hesitate to shout "oh, like Prince!" when I tell them I'm androgyne. Vanilla questioning men will text me day after day before shyly confessing I'm their dream guy. Closeted trans women ask to kiss me because I'm their dream girl. Doms and subs who melt when they realize I'm both and neither, and they didn't know somebody like me existed.

There's vanilla lesbians on Grindr and acearos who have shown me love deeper than I thought possible and guydykes kissing girlfags and MtFtMtX elders and throuples that have so much affection that they just collectively parent babygays who got disowned.

Everybody is so beautiful! There is so much love! It is no wonder a cruel world has a vested interest in suppressing queerness when humanity is so expansive to us.

[cowboybutxh]

I’m going to unlearn shame *bursts into tears and beats my head against a brick wall*

[cowboybutxh]

define hole / is a hole a real thing? / Marco Poloni, Black Hole, from The Majorana Experiment, 2010 / Flatfields Fotografien / What We Talk About When We Talk About Holes / Dark (2017-2020) / post / Disco Elysium / Twin Peaks: The Return (2017) / Donnie Darko (2001) / Outer Range (2022) / Kaveh Akbar, from “The Miracle,” Pilgrim Bell / post / Weizmann Institute of Science / Mathworld / post / post / post / post / Anne Boyer, from “Woman Sitting at the Machine,” in A Handbook of Disappointed Fate / Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords / Dennis Patrick Slattery, The Wounded Body: Remembering the Markings of Flesh / The Incredulity of Saint Thomas, Caravaggio, 1601–1602 (detail) / The Incredulity of St. Thomas, Bernardo Strozzi, 1582-1644 (detail) / Don McKay, from “Twinflower,” Field Marks: The Poetry of Don McKay, intro. Méira Cook (Wilfrid Laurier University Press, 2006) / thierryetherve / Pathologic / post / Gregory Orr, from How Beautiful the Beloved / Tomas Tranströmer, tr. by Robert Bly, from a poem titled “Track” / Disco Elysium / Anne Carson, Economy of the Unlost / Pathologic 2 / Jonas Burgert, Sand brennt Blatt (2010) / Disco Elysium / Carl Phillips, from “Givingly”, Wild is the Wind / from “The Man With a Hole in His Head” by Rick Bursky / Rosario Castellanos, ‘Memorandum on Tlatelolco’ (tr. Maureen Ahern) / post / Pathologic / The Juniper Tree (Nietzchka Keene | 1990) / John Banville, Eclipse / Twin Peaks / Disco Elysium / VectorStock / True Detective / Night in the Woods

[cowboybutxh]

you can butch4butchify anything if you have the warrior's spirit

[cowboybutxh]

became butch and all of a sudden disco elysium went on sale...

[cowboybutxh]

bill movish

(x)

[cowboybutxh]

yes all my favorite characters are desperate to be loved. no i don’t think that says anything about me

[cowboybutxh]

I think people need to be more comfortable with illegalism and I’m not kidding. Of course the more legal something is, the safer and easier it is to do, but the more people who disregard the law, the harder it is to enforce. There are plenty of laws on the books that people just ignore and are never or rarely policed.

Becoming more comfortable with little illegal activities makes you more comfortable with bigger more important illegal activities. Additionally, it is crucial to build a wall of silence. Nobody talks everybody walks.

People who give out food without a permit, hold a march without a permit, grow a garden without a permit, are more likely to be people you could turn to to work with on preventing an eviction, or keeping people out of cop hands, or helping your friend Jane get crucial healthcare when it’s not legal in your state.

Communities comfortable with these acts won’t call the cops, and then nobody knows that it’s happening.

People have got to shift from both the idea that lawful = good/ illegal = bad, and that the illegality of something means that’s the end of it, and the only fight left is to make it legal again.

[cowboybutxh]

it’s because you’re always in that damn hole that resembles the grave but isn’t

[cowboybutxh]

thought i had to barf today but i just started crying wtf

[cowboybutxh]

the world needs more butch4butch trans4trans eroticism, so have this sketch of some butch cowboys (feelin’ all manner of things they cannot say…)