cowboyreminders

[cowboyreminders]

are you ever about to put on a movie but you realize you don't really want to watch The Movie, you want to be eight years old on a rainy saturday, and under your favorite butterfly blanket, and mom made hot chocolate and popcorn with extra butter, and you're watching The Movie for the first time ever? what are you supposed to do then

[cowboyreminders]

[cowboyreminders]

oh to be loved by someone who remembers what hurts you, calms your overthinking, shows you off with pride, and chooses to grow with you—every single day

[cowboyreminders]

when you're talking about the character and the person who likes the character starts typing for a long time

[cowboyreminders]

in times like these at least i have the character

[cowboyreminders]

There should be a word for the microscopic spark of hope that you dare not entertain in case the mere act of acknowledging it will cause it to vanish, like trying to look at a photon.

Terry Pratchett, Mort

[cowboyreminders]

somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.

and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.

I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me

[cowboyreminders]

I love my leg hair #myleghair

[cowboyreminders]

i think too many people operate under the assumption that emotions are some frivilous fantasy of the mind and have no impact on the physical world, which is a cute thought when Humans are an animal that can die from being kinda stressed out

[cowboyreminders]

the insane experience of missing a fictional character . like you can always go back and reread the book , replay the game , rewatch the show or movie , you can always go back & see them , but you can never experience them & their story for the first time again . its absurd to miss them because they'll always be there , but you'll miss when there were still new things for them to say .

for a small time they were real & growing and changing and you hung onto every new word, but now all they can do is repeat the same story forever&ever & they're not real anymore because you know everything they're going to do. & you miss them. its fucked man...

[cowboyreminders]

Someone else having it 'worse' does not make what you went through any less valid. It doesn't mean your feelings matter less. It doesn't mean that what you endured wasn't abuse.

The bottom line is you should have never had to endure what you did.

[cowboyreminders]

do you know how sad it is that as a recovery blog you can’t manage your disorder and don’t realize you’re experiencing it?

Do you know how sad it is that you’re taking the time to send me asks like this?

I do actually want to talk about this though. I don’t see a need to fix everything. Some things aren’t hurting me, or are low priority when I want to focus on other things.

Meds haven’t stabilized my moods and with my coping mechanisms, I have control of my impulses and know how to handle depressives and anxiety.

Instead, I just accept my disorder. I use times of being manic to prepare for depressives. I meal prep and freeze it. I pre make products for my business. I sometimes queue a bunch of posts.

“Accepting it” really bothers a lot of people but trying so hard to fix it was causing me so much anxiety and stress. And some things aren’t fixable. So, I learn to live with it. And I think that’s valid.

I work on my behaviours that are harmful (impulse control, lashing out at people, sabotaging my relationships, etc), but I can’t just fix my disorders.

It’s a disorder that isn’t ever going to just “go away”. I’ve learned to adapt to work with it instead of trying to fight against it. And let me tell you, my mental health has never been better 🤷‍♀️.

[cowboyreminders]

if you've been drawing for several hours and the piece doesn't turn into anything, you didn't waste that time. you still drew. art is art, not a product

[cowboyreminders]

Auditory processing issues

[cowboyreminders]

the insane experience of missing a fictional character . like you can always go back and reread the book , replay the game , rewatch the show or movie , you can always go back & see them , but you can never experience them & their story for the first time again . its absurd to miss them because they'll always be there , but you'll miss when there were still new things for them to say .

for a small time they were real & growing and changing and you hung onto every new word, but now all they can do is repeat the same story forever&ever & they're not real anymore because you know everything they're going to do. & you miss them. its fucked man...

[cowboyreminders]

oh. i just found out that the writer of the vincent van gogh doctor who episode wrote it as a tribute to his sister.

[cowboyreminders]

my partner said something that kinda rocked my world