cowboystudies

[cowboystudies]

okay went to work and did NOT freak out about the fact i have no classroom and no idea what grades i'm teaching and we have ONE workday to finish everything for the first day of school. i did meet a coworker who invited me to acookout and therefore had to FREAK make banana bread.

accomplisments:

did a load of laundry

took out trash TWICE

made banana bread (& didn't cry when it broke)

goals:

bed time :/

wash face

thoughts:

im so tired dude and all i did was fucking SIT THERE. i hate this time of year because my brain feels like it's been steamrolled and i haven't been too the gym this week and i can't go tomorrow and ugugfhhghgfg

still need to narrow down my wedding outfit. i know i probably need to dye something but figuring that out is gonna be rough

i don't want the school year to start but im DETERMINED to care less about work this year. DETERMINED.

[cowboystudies]

8am wake up!!

4pm leave for bus, read @ stops until 5:15

hang with my gf :))

To do:

Make sure bag packed

Take out trash

[cowboystudies]

accomplishments from today: changed the litter in the bedroom; worked on my halloween quilt; read some of my book

goals: finish ironing -> go bathroom -> make bed -> feed cats -> chill until bedtime; take sleepy time medicine at crisp 10:30

thoughts: waking up at noon FUCKED me up. Idk what happened but it was bad; my teeth don't hurt anymore but the fit of this tray so weird; I can't wait to have a better sleep schedule

[cowboystudies]

A list of experiences that prove I can survive the pain of a sternum tattoo:

repeatedly being called a "dick sucker" and "dick rider" by 12 and 13 year olds

being the only out trans person at my public school (before the legalization of gay marriage)

Telling my boss to his face that I wasn't legally required to ask permission to record our final meeting

asking HR for a 15k raise after telling them I was thinking about resigning

that hour+ meeting where my coworkers hands shook the whole time and it was very obvious to me he didn't like me because he thought I was a woman and women don't act Like That

every weirdly sexual interaction I had with my dad

my dad forgetting my birthday 3 separate times

the entire cps investigation my junior year of high school

[cowboystudies]

the "before I get stoned" list:

charge earbuds

charge DS

put dishes away

down to 30 goals in finch

text C about wedding

[cowboystudies]

accomplishments: went to work even though I really really didn't want to; finished a book!!; connected with some people in the district

goals: put away dishes?? Maybe??; listen to audiobook

Thoughts: it was sooo nice to connect with people and have people say they liked working with me; I need a nap before therapy; I can't wait to go home and see my babies

[cowboystudies]

accomplishments: think i did very well at work!! i was one of the Talkers but i think i did well; i did dishes + laundry even tho i didn't want to (i wanted to rot when i got home; listened to an audiobook for the first time in FOREVVERRR

goals: plan outfit for tomorrow; take out trash

thoughts: i'm still not excited for the year, but after today i do feel BETTER; im so sleepy; broccolini has been playing so cutely the past few days

[cowboystudies]

accomplishments of the day: hung up that blackout curtain, did a load of laundry, and did some dishes!!

goals: tidy up a bit more before leaving, prep to take trash for when I leave

thoughts: I'm....so exhausted with things going wrong. My entire time being 23 lowkey sucked and I don't want to repeat it; I am still debating going to that workshop thing on Monday, I think I'm just going to go to the August session; I need to clean my apartment but I can't find the energyyy

[cowboystudies]

having a very long, drawn out "oh my god why did i go into teaching" mini-crashout so i'm thinking about the next year so i can try to get my fucking life back.

thoughts:

2 grades a week being do nows and a group multiple choice quest (multiple choice + some writing, everyone gets the same grade)

leave home at 7:30. up @ 6:30. morning routine = small space care (15 min pickup, dishes, litterbox, etc). breakfast. makeup. etc.

keep my fucking mouth shut. keep it SHUT.

gym 2x a week. once on sunday and another maybe in the morning? idk.

calico critter every payday

PLAN WHEN TO GET TAKEOUT!!

[cowboystudies]

tomorrow it is going to be hot and gross and I don't have my gym clothes washed :/ less usual Sunday shit and more AAAAA

8:30 - wake up and put broccolini in carrier

9am - pickup + run to corner store to grab energy drink + drop off little library book

930-11am: 20/10s in bedroom

11-12pm - uhhh fuck around

12-2pm - 20/10s elsewhere

once broccolini is back I'll probably be be with her the whole night.

[cowboystudies]

to pack for craft night:

embroidery thread

pins + needles

small scissors

quilt (in bag)

library book

switch

charger

laptop

[cowboystudies]

okay so I'm gonna:

go to the gym

home by noon?? ish??

Tidy: bathroom, living room (put laundry away, get rid of big box)

shower at like 2

[cowboystudies]

okay I am going to Do Things tomorrow...like in and out of the house things...I vow it

8am: awake.

8:20: out of bed -> prep clothes for C -> get all my shit together -> put cat food away

9am: leave for gym. take down trash

**aim to leave gym by 11 ! Home by 11:30

do laundry!! 2 loads TOTAL. no more. one needs to be shower curtain and the other should be clothes

until package arrives: put laundry away (+ Broccolini outside time); put dishes away; do more dishes; find dinner recipe

after package arrives: DO NEW SET!! and order doordash. yay ❤️

[cowboystudies]

it's the 4th of July ⭐ which means tonight is gonna be really annoying. the goal is to do enough to make a measurable impact on the cleanliness of the apartment.

asap: gather trash, eat breakfast, refill water bowls, prep C lunch

before 3pm: do 2 loads of laundry, put away kidney food, put dishes away, do an upper body workout from the app

after 3pm: consume marijuana and eat food

[cowboystudies]

accomplishments; went to the gym instead of rotting on the couch; had outside time with the current foster; set up the automatic feeder

goals: do some dishes; clean off automatic feeder

thoughts: my head hurts :(; I want to sign up for the classes at my gym maybe?; I'm so warm

[cowboystudies]

summer breaks are so wasted on 14 year olds what if i’m 24 and have lame fanfiction to write

[cowboystudies]

accomplishments of the day: slept in and didn't feel bad about it!; tried gel nails for the first time; cleaned even though it makes me so anxious

goals: finish my nighttime routine for real; read more of my kindle book

thoughts: I need to be way stricter with my money in July; I need to simplify my finch; I need to contact my boss to check up on my transfer