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Enough about favorite books. What’s a book you read and absolutely hated? The book you’ve got a bone to pick with.

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Sometimes I forget how funny we actually are, so I'm making a post to immortalize some System Moments (tm) - Terry

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the author's barely disguised attempts to get you to eat a healthy meal. the author's barely disguised desire for you to get enough sleep. the author's barely disguised encouragement for you to take better care of yourself. the author's barely disguised hope for you to feel better tomorrow than you do today. the author's barely disguised longing for you to make it through tonight, and the next night, and the night after that. the author's barely disguised love for you, dripping off of every page

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Battat acts like a conspiracy-obsessed little gremlin, goes a bit feral, and Mike figures some things out when it comes to sharing a body with said feral gremlin. But something might be happening, and they could both stand to lose it all... Part 5 of our "Battat has Dissociative Identity Disorder" fic!

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We have a somewhat crowded front right now - all three co-hosts are co-con - but Chaos and Tenna are going to take a backseat so Terry can be the one doing the bulk of this reply. They're the one who's been fronting for most of the writing process, and the one who made that post. Honestly Cell, you almost made me cry with this. I've never really thought about writing as an expression of internal reality; or, to be more specific, I never thought that anyone else on this planet could possibly relate to such a fundamental part of who we are. I mean... our attempts to express what's inside us in a way that's sincere, true, and genuinely reflective of how we think and feel? They've gotten us so much shit from other people. We're often our own worse critic; and not just because our writing, our art, the things we do with music and sound, don't meet some invisible standard or cross some invisible finish line. That's been a huge part of it, yeah, but very few people have tried to understand what it means to live your life one foot in a dream. Life is so fucking difficult for us that we can't ever be fully conscious, not in the same way singlets are. Our inner life has always been a way for us to escape; and for some of us, it became our gilded cage. Our missing parts, our creative parts... they would have slept forever if we'd never gone looking for them. If we hadn't worked hard, and built a world inside our head that we wanted to be a part of, and became each other's family, I wouldn't be here writing this. I wouldn't even be me. I'm a fusion of 7 or 8 different parts that behave as a cohesive whole, and that wouldn't have happened if we hadn't cast aside people's judgements and soldiered on anyway. We've found parts of us who were still wounded, still hurting from things that happened years ago, who felt like those things happened yesterday, because they'd never had a chance to live past what happened. Our writing. Our art. Our music. Our skills were gone, our passion was gone, and we couldn't bring those things back no matter how many times we tried or how many times we promised, because those parts of us had lost hope. They'd given up on there ever being anything worth being here for; and our mind had locked the door, expecting it never to be opened again. It's no wonder we always felt lonely, no matter how many friends we had - what we missed was each other. As each part of us disappeared and we became less, the silence left behind was deafening. But every single part of us is important. And expressing ourselves through creativity and performance is essential. Without doing this, no matter what people think of us for it - without being able to work together, without knowing one another, without relying on each other's strength and filling our inner life with story and song? We starve. We waste away, but our body grimly marches on, alive but not living. The hooks that still tear at us tell us we have delusions of grandeur, that we're endlessly thirsty for attention and validation, that we're emotionally manipulative, that we've become the exact kind of monster we always feared. The people who stepped on us to reach what they wanted, and ground us under their heel to make themselves feel better.

And maybe we do have some things in common - more than we'd care to admit, sometimes. But there's a key difference between us and them - we choose to be kind. Whenever and wherever possible, even when it's hard, even when we have to intervene in what others in the system really want to do and really think is righteous, we choose to be kind. Because if being a massive attention whore is just who we are fundamentally, then we're going to do so with kindness, and lift each other up. Sorry for the aside, but that's what Tenna is. He craves other people's attention and validation - but nothing makes him happier than making others happy. Like our other cartoon alters, he lives to see someone smile or laugh. He's every memory of each relationship, platonic and otherwise, that we gave ourselves over to heart and soul - and he's every time we got our heart broken. And yet, he's the part of us that does that, that wants to share his energy with others and take them along for the ride. Talking to him, you feel like the star of the show, the most special person in the world, and he brings his own audience to cheer for you. He's something that's been inside us for we don't know how long, being pushed away and rejected by us again and again. Making him think that he needed to go away was the cruelest thing the world has ever done to us, and that we've ever done to ourselves. We need to be ourselves and we need to share ourselves with others, we need to wear our heart on our sleeve and walk the tightrope as the audience cheers, no matter how many times we fall. Whether the world likes that or not is irrelevant - we need to be known, because even besides what we actually write down, there are so many stories inside us, big and small. They're unfolding all the time as we live, and learn about, and care about each other. They're as precious to us as diamonds, and whatever we don't share will be dust when we're gone one day. Anything that isn't saved, will be lost. Knowing that it's even possible for someone to understand this... I really hope we never doubt ourselves so much ever again, that the door to the worlds inside us slams shut. I hope we love ourselves like this forever. I hope there's always people out there who are waiting to know us. - Terry

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Clash - Caravan Palace Olsen Olsen - Sigur Ros Zone Breakerz - Kitcaliber Zombie - The Cranberries A Mask Of My Own Face - Lemon Demon "Dash" - MDK Fine Night - Goreshit Red Step - Bassnectar Everything You Do - The Happy Fits North - Sleeping At Last Zavodila - Mike Geno You're My Best Friend - Queen

thank you for the tag, @vvrong. This was hilarious, complicated and fun.

Task: Pick a song for every letter in your tumblr-URL. Tag at least as many people as there are letters in your URL.

Daydreaming - Nx Worries

After the Storm - Kali Uchis

Nightcall - London Grammar

Its only us - Monophonics

El Bueno Y El Malo - Hermanos Guitiérrez

Love Me Like You Hate Me - Rainsford

Life Will Be - Cleo Sol

Exile - Bon Iver & Taylor Swift

Shades of Blue - Sophia Bel

Jamming - Bob Marley & The Wailers

Old Money - Lana Del Rey

Unholy - Sam Smith & Kim Petras

Rebel Paradise - Common Saints

No One - Alicia Keys

Everything I Wanted - Billie Eilish

Your Love Is King - Sade

XO - Beyonce

Over - Portishead

Apparently i can‘t post that many songs due to post restrictions, that‘s why everything‘s written out.

i‘ll tag:

@elle-mood @simply-natalie @thesirencult @theworldisherstage @just-inthevoid117 @thebonesofwoe @rosljakova @daugtherofgaia777 @desigirlbombshell @sigmararete @theweightofdivinity @erosinbloom @mizzundrstood @mora-333 @ladylavenderstone @perpetual-wedgie @freakyslim248 @palesofterass @introvertedsage

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One interesting thing about writing things as a system means we have an entire "writer's room" kind of thing going on. Our introjects are reading off "their" lines to get a feel for them, and giving feedback on characterization. We've got Lux and Mello doing editing and looking at the big picture; I keep hearing them debating back and forth about the flow of the story, making cuts and countering the occasional chaos that comes from this doing this as a "group project". And I've been bouncing ideas off whoever's been in front with me, letting them help with tasks in the body while I figure out where the hell we're going. This chapter's biggest problem has been tonal dissonance. With several of us having different ideas for how to get from story beat to story beat, some of us being optimists and others more pessimistic, it resulted in a kind of back-and-forth that wasn't working out. Certain characters being cruel or kind, actively choosing to ignore things or just not acting because they don't have all the info, it all flipped between one or the other depending on who's been more active in the creative process. Not everyone's doing this at the same time, and sometimes someone will "walk in" to find their additions on the cutting room floor... BUT I think we're finally approaching a nice middle ground. This is actually getting done, despite us not really having started with an entire beginning-to-end plot in mind. This whole fic has been us just "taking a concept for a walk" while we try to put some of our personal experiences on paper, but viewed through the lens of our favorite semi-obscure blorbos. It's been good to finally shake the rust off, and if it pleases a niche section of the Deltarune fandom, well, we're all the happier for it. (And our own lovely Tenna is definitely influencing because I've got an overwhelming urge to stage-whisper; we're still writing this mainly for us) Onwards, Magbox! - Terry

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EVERYBODY PUT YOUR HANDS UP FOR THE ONE AND ONLY

The wheelchair looks SUPER BLAND so far, I know, but I needed to first figure out how to draw it before I actually tried making it look unique :’)

I used a wheelchair specifically made for taller people as a reference this time, since I imagine the center of gravity has to be different for the person to actually stay balanced and not topple over backwards.

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the gooners

they’re everywhere

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Two ladybirds having a shag that i edited cbat over

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You know what the best part of reblogging this is? As other people reblog it from you, you get to see what it is they've been up to - a small insight into the small joys of someone else's life

lovely friends and gorgeous people of tumblr.com, i invite you to please reblog this post and put in the tags something that has brought you happiness lately! anything at all, any joy, slight or miraculous, wholly at your discretion!

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lovely friends and gorgeous people of tumblr.com, i invite you to please reblog this post and put in the tags something that has brought you happiness lately! anything at all, any joy, slight or miraculous, wholly at your discretion!

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>It's also OSDD rep Oscar: OUTTA MY WAY!!! Yes hi hello hello oh my god I am here for this?? LITERALLY ME! [stimming excitedly]

Terry: OP I hope you know that you've made two alters unspeakably happy this morning - not only does Ozzy see himself represented here, but I've actually been collabing with the others on a fanfic of this exact thing, where Mike and Battat are alters in a system!

Hehehehe

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System is systeming again, apparently it's going to be one of THOSE weeks, but the outlook at least isn't terrible. Rant/ramble under the cut.

I swear we have a headcount limit - whenever we get over that limit our brain just goes 'welp there's too many of you', and starts making fusions happen. Anyone who's followed us long-term knows this has happened several times. Our brain will just go nuts and try to "cull the weak", which usually results in a bunch of us going dormant and it causes a lot of upset.

But here's the thing - this time around, they seem stable.

In our system, we experience what we call 'true' and 'false' fusions. 'False' fusions we've found have a pretty distinctive look to them - generally what'll happen is a "strong" alter will absorb a "weak" one, and take on rudimentary physical characteristics of the "weak" alter. For example, when Martin and Raine false-fused, Martin gained a set of ram horns - when I false-fused with Clicky, I had ink hair.

But the problem with false fusions is they're just that; they're not actual fusions. Instead what's happening is one alter is 'carrying' a dormant part whose memories and skills they don't have access to. Rather than breaking down the amnesia barrier properly, the process stops in its tracks - two parts are pushed together to act as one, but one of them just shuts down and stops communication with everyone/everything else in the system.

True fusions on the other hand are when an alter's appearance and in-sys abilities undergo a massive shift, and they do get memory access.The resulting alter looks like their two parts did a fusion dance like Steven Universe or Dragonball Z - even if one personality comes out on top, their appearance undergoes a huge shift, changing their height or weight, gaining new body parts, even a completely different voice.

This has now happened... 3-4 times in the past week? The latter thing, I mean - what appears to be True Fusions. False fusions always have problems, they always have those telltale signs, and they always fail. But while some were expected - like Jeremy and Mello have fused after working closely together on the same projects for a few months now - some definitely weren't. Nox, who nobody has seen in a long time, came out of dormancy and fused with Oscar, who is new to the system. One of our teenage alters fused with Anarchy, who they'd grown close to. Tenna and Mike, both of whom likewise just got here, have fused as well.

And I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic, because as unexpected as these things were, they do make sense.

Ozzy was plagued by constant fear that caused hyper-vigilance - whenever he fronted our heart rate would skyrocket. Nox, previously the guy who would handle paranoia, seemingly fused with him to make him feel safe. His previous fusion with Rii already helped a lot; he went from someone who felt aimless and struggled outside his very restricted knowledge, to a strategist, planner and organizer with a head for numbers. But after fusing with Nox, he's basically a Batman expy - a brave and capable masked vigilante who uses his smarts to solve problems. He's gone from someone who was constantly on the defensive, to embracing his full potential and being a total badass.

Tenna was being constantly sabotaged from within due to anxiety and low self-worth - and he could only establish an identity through other people's perceptions of him. Afraid he couldn't live up to his own hype, he frequently couldn't bring himself to talk to anyone outside of system, even if he'd talked to them before. Anything that came out of his mouth that wasn't pure calculated perfection sent him spiraling. But fusing with Mike gave him the self-esteem and self-worth to laugh at his own flaws and mistakes, pull himself out of his own low moods, and establish his own boundaries. Rather than wallowing in jealousy or seeing others as his competitors, he shines the spotlight on them and hypes them up, or aspires to their greatness. As Ozzy put it, he's "got his sparkle back"- and he's working on processing the feelings he's holding from our multiple failed relationships.

Time will tell what will happen with our most recent fusion between Anarchy and Kris, one of our teenagers. But the two of them have been getting along amazingly since Kris showed up, and my guess is Anarchy is going to act as a "shield" for them. Kris is extremely prone to migraines and overstimulation that causes meltdowns, especially related to light - but Anarchy is basically a god-like being with a magic hoodie, that lets them turn from their smaller humanoid form into a muscular beast with gorilla-like proportions. By pulling up their hoodie, Kris should be able to see through their second form's "eyespots", which transform into functional eyes while their "real ones" are protected. So... it all makes sense, in a way. I just hope that this ends up being good for us. I just hope we're at the point of self-discovery where we can make these connections subconsciously, and not have them spontaneously fail because they weren't made right the first time around. I don't want the others to get hurt by this, and seeing them suffer will hurt me too - these aren't just parts, this is my family I'm talking about. I love the others in this system. Like I said. I'm going to be cautiously optimistic.

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🎨🖌️🐐

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thanks for the comments and asks saying i'm being mean for very mildly saying i don't like when people make social decisions based on horoscopes.

your behavior has made me realize i should be "meaner": horoscopes are fake.

the position of planets and balls of gas did not in any way impact your personality or destiny. it has nothing to do with what kind of people you are compatible with, despite what an app or magazine told you.

i think sincere belief in horoscopes shows a concerning propensity to trust pseudoscience and a susceptibility to confirmation bias.

i'm pretty tired of having to tiptoe around this kind of thing and include disclaimers. if you genuinely think you shouldn't be friends with someone because of the date they came out of a uterus, you're being a clown.

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Peeling the lid off of a yogurt and it's a big spiral staircase going down forever