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Japan 2012. If not me, who? #Persistence

[cpriceceo]

Did a review on a recent read

Check it out, you might be surprised.   http://cpriceceo.wordpress.com/2012/07/18/human-fundamentals-a-must-read/

[cpriceceo]

Decay

Hidden in the recess of my mind  Rots the image of what was.  There is no room for growth,  Like a plant hidden from the sun This thought, It withers. Soon to be  No th ing At A L L  

[cpriceceo]

Snail Mail

I bet you are opening the letter,  Tearing through it As I did you. Your mind juggling the thought of What is concealed within, As you wait anxiously for its unveiling.  

You want to read that I was wrong, That I am at fault. You want the blame to be dumped On me.  

Almost there.   The folds of the letter are bent back. I never did write what YOU wanted.  

[cpriceceo]

Beta

Find me at the start Where pupils are wide, hearts open. Minds clean of pre-meditated notions: Pure; Love exists here.  

[cpriceceo]

Confusing huh? (Taken with Instagram)

[cpriceceo]

It's true

that I do feel remorse and regret for treating her the way I did. At the time however, it was what was needed for the both of us, even if it was difficult to see & understand. What troubles me now, is the fact that after one attempt, although very pathetic on my part, to revive a friendship that would be lively and benefit both of us tremendously: that we cannot function in any sort of relationship no matter the degree.  However, I can understand the fact that time is not only needed, but most of the time the only thing necessary. Yet, in the real-world, things of the past, no matter how much they hurt, will need to be forgiven. If her aspirations and admirable goals are still with her, than this mindset of never forgiving will be a difficult one to maintain. The higher you get the lonelier it gets: I will be there, this I have no doubt, I believe she will as well: one connection, friendship, will make our chances of surviving at the top more likely.  But what do I know. I was not in that position, I wasn't given the poison, I distributed it. If I feel what she did, maybe I will gain a better understanding. Either way, I will always be fond of her ideas/heart/mind. The time, my personal position, etc. did not align, and thus our history was written and finished. The future holds prospects we have yet to know: I will stay positive and continue to entertain the idea.  

[cpriceceo]

History

Tried to section of my past, ignore it: but I accept what got me here. 

[cpriceceo]

What to do.

For such a long time I have been not bothered by any emotions or at least I have been able to control and watch over them. When I think about it though, about the impact, about what I think, how life has progressed, and what future prospects hold for me, I consider just letting go of my constraint.  I mean, if not now, when? After the 14th, I don't know when I will be back. What if this was my one shot. I mean, I have tried things to stop me from having this feeling, I even tried covering it up with other people. Not only did it not work, but it mad me hurt others emotionally. I have no clue what to do. Maybe I am just going to miss this shot, because I don't think I have the power to take it. People say some things are worth fighting for, but idk: maybe it is better to just let it go, maybe our lives will be better, or maybe their life will be better that way. At the end of the day I don't want any complications to occur, sometimes it is just how life goes.  

[cpriceceo]

It is what it is.

Been hurt, like most.  Smoldering pain pushed me All the shit that I've done. I've turned to what I once despised.  They say it will catch up with me: Looking forward to it.  

[cpriceceo]

48 Days till Japan

And no, it hasn't hit me lol. 

[cpriceceo]

History

I can never write about L.O.V.E What bars my chord of emotion, Is beyond me. Blinding the eyes of my heart Scattering my thoughts. Simple lines of unacceptable Vernacular is swept into my mind.   Expression of a proper manner is lost. Maybe I have become cold:  Numb to the feeling of L.O.V.E 

[cpriceceo]

About 50 odd days till JAPAN.

[cpriceceo]

People are mostly confident, not competent...

[cpriceceo]

First day.

Don't know what I should feel, more so, how I should feel right now. I mean high school is over, and the structured life I once lead has now diminished. The truth is, I always wanted high school to be over, like many do, and next year I have College in Japan. However, it is still a little weird to me that it actually is here, and that I walked across the stage on Saturday, and today I will be going to recieve my diploma. I wonder when it will hit me, that next year I will be in Japan, and that the close friends  I have now will take different paths than me. Tis' life I suppose.  

[cpriceceo]

Getting down on some froyo! They are both crazy! (Taken with Instagram)

[cpriceceo]

Chilling with the two besties! (Taken with Instagram)