craneberri

[craneberri]

Darcy’s introduction in Pride and Prejudice is really ‘what if you had just had the worst month of your life because your ex-bestie tried to lover boy scam your baby sister out of her share of your dad’s life insurance and your friend dragged you to a shitty party in a dive bar in the neighbourhood where he’d just signed a short term lease, and you decided to let your bad mood show because you were never going to see any of the assholes in this stupid shitty bar EVER again. And your friend ended up making out with a girl he’d just met there while you were stuck talking to her sister who was less cute and then her mother appeared and started trying to matchmake and started saying how if she was twenty years younger she’d clime you like a redwood and ooooh is that a black Amex, guess the next round is on you hahhahahahaha, while her other sister (how many fucking sisters does she have?!) flashed an obviously fake ID at the bar and ordered six vodka-diet red bulls and no one in her family except the less-cute sister even tried to stop her. And you went home and consoled yourself that you would never see any of these people again but then you met them over and over again because they live next door and your friend and the cute sister keep meeting up to make out but not actually date and then. You fall in love with the less-cute sister because it turns out she’s really witty and charismatic but she already knows and remembers and resents the fact that on a day when you were in a shitty mood you called her mid out loud in a dive bar.’

[craneberri]

finding out there's a frankenstein ballet and that it was in october of last year…DEVASTATING

look at this. look at these. im foaming at the mouth

[craneberri]

family friend who is a high school librarian ordered, by accident, a book of Greek myth inspired cocktails¹ for the library which they proceeded to give to me. it contains some horrors which I have to share. (paired with photos of the illustrations for scale, some unrelated)

The recipe for this is burned into my brain now. It haunts me. YOGURT. TWO OUNCES OF YOGURT? ONE OUNCE OF RYE WHISKEY ONE OUNCE OF SIMPLE SYRUP HALF AN OUNCE OF OUZO???? Why would you make this. How would you even drink it.

things that are in a bellini: prosecco (❌), peach (kind of, whatever) things that are not in a fucking bellini: half an ounce of olive oil

whole egg! just one whole egg in your cocktail!! raw fucking egg yolk in your goddamn cocktail enjoy!!! also catch the 'odysseus was just rollicking around with women for his whole journey', yes this comes up several times, yes it's infuriating

it’s not like I know that much about drinking but even I know shaking heavy cream and lemon juice together is going to be fucking disgusting. and now i've inflicted all these on you and you all have to know about it.

¹Nectar of the Gods, by Liv Albert (the myth stuff) and Thea Engst (the cocktail stuff)

[craneberri]

I want to see old age with you

[craneberri]

Violet-green Swallow (Tachycineta thalassina), family Hirundinidae, order Passeriformes, western United States

photograph by Christine Haines

[craneberri]

Mother and child training longsword in Chile, at the Centro Esgrima Histórica

[craneberri]

Weirdo

[craneberri]

we share a warriors bond (we were both in the same fandom at the same time and now neither of us are in that fandom anymore but we’re still beloved mutuals)

[craneberri]

Since it's almost Midsummer...

p.s. I also have a book coming out: www.tomgauld.com/comic-books-v2

[craneberri]

Fun fact: the guys at our college’s geology department prop out the doors with their samples. I totally understand why but as someone whose work with samples is necessarily super delicate and sterile it fucks me up so bad

[craneberri]

you cannot advertise to me in a way that matters.

[craneberri]

ACHILLES STRIKES!

[craneberri]

[craneberri]

[craneberri]

do you sell prints anywhere? i'd love to buy one of your soy sauce fishies :]]

hi, i’m not selling prints atm but you can print it for your personal use, enjoyment and fulfilment c: and maybe if you’re able, you could support me on ko-fi!

thank you so much for wanting to have my art displayed at your place :3 have a lovely day!

[craneberri]

you have to stay alive. you're going to be such a beautiful middle aged freak. young freaks will see you in the street and know that things can be okay.

[craneberri]

Dame Archer kicks McDougal’s Scots ass there in the rain at the Washington Midsummer Renaissance Faire - August 11, 2018 - Photo by Douglas Herring