âso tell us a little bit about yourselfâ
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Things I've actually heard college students say
âLook how pretty my notes are!! Too bad Iâll never study themâ
âI might look fine in class but Iâm dying inside"Â
âIâve never seen frozen and at this point iâm afraid to"Â
âwhen the professor shows up Iâm just gonna get up, make eye contact, and leaveâ
 âshut the fuck up and eat your shitty frosted flakesâ
 âIs it acceptable to throw myself out the window after we take this examâ
âI need more gay people in my life Iâm suffocating in straightsâ
 âI think Iâm just gonna sleep outside and let the snow bury me until I dieâ
âwhy the fuck would i pay 5 dollars for a grilled cheese? oh wait theyâre delivering them? ok buy 3â
âi feel like a child but i look like an adult and i think it throws a lot of people offâ
âyo look at this dog! i want this dog. this dog is straight gâ
âI got super drunk and told everyone I was a lesbianâÂ
âIâVE ONLY DONE ANAL TWICE OKAYâ
âinstead of studying art we should MAKE ART WITH OUR BODIESâ
feel free to add anything youâve heard
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What's your favorite high school memory?
Leaving high school
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fun fact: Michael Cera asked Rihanna if he could slap her ass for real and she said âyou can slap my ass for real if I can slap you in the face for realâ and he was like alright. and they did the take like 3 times and Michael was like âyouâre not hitting me hard enough do it for realâ and then she slapped the fuck out of him and threw off his equilibrium so much he had to go lay down in his trailer for like half an hour lmao and thatâs the take they used in the movie with no added sound effectsÂ
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âFor all intents and purposes, you should have been his.â x
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im waking up
to ash and dust
i wipe my brow and i slap my nuts
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