craqueluring

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hi!

just finished my sophomore year of college, i started this blog.. senior? junior year of high school i think? though i know ive been quite absent, this show has never left my mind. i watch it with everyone who agrees, recommend it to everyone who will listen. truly the hyperfixation of a lifetime.

anyways, im an engineering student, and after my self-induced solitary confinement of high school, i’ve found myself seeking out every opportunity to fill my time in college, especially during this past school year. because of that, i’ve been busier than i could ever imagine. some days it’s so overwhelming i thought my mind would break, others i’m overcome with a euphoric gratitude for all the opportunities i’ve had. my dear girlfriend supports me regardless, im so excited to move in together this summer! :)

all of this is to say, as corny as it may sound, this gay cannibal show has stuck with me from my lowest to my highest points in life.

i’ve missed writing analyses and unraveling hannibal like the infinite ball of string it is. calculus and discrete math and c++ and company have ripped my time from me, and i’ve been (sadly) keenly aware of the progressive atrophy of my creativity and writing muscles.

but the semester is over now, and calculus 1, 2, and 3 are behind me! while i am still working and studying through this summer, the workload should be much less. i hope i can work my way back to my creative, obsessive self in the coming months.

i hope you are all doing well, too :) i’d like to know how everyone else has been, if you have the time to comment, no matter if we are mutuals or even if you follow me or not. this community is so special to me.

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#something something in the top hannibal waits until will is fully gripping it until he lets go#and the bottom will doesn't have a full grip yet#i know it means smth 👁👁 from @dudemilf

YES ok im gonna talk about this thank u for triggering these incoming thoughts in my brain

keep in mind bedelia's "forgiveness is too great and difficult for one person. it requires two" line, and just a general theme of balance between will and hannibal. and the whole "getting even" idea between the two of them.

in the first gif from naka choko, the knife is in line with hannibal's scar from when will sent someone to kill him (this was deliberate and is directly referenced in the script). the beginning of this episode is when will says "i'd say this makes us even. i send someone to kill you, you send someone to kill me. even steven." hannibal giving the knife to will and holding it until will grips it gives the impression of hannibal acknowledging the playing field is even. they have, on some level, forgiven each other and have a level of camaraderie and trust. everything is balanced. this is further emphasized by will and hannibal making the meal Together. they have gotten even, forgiven (?) each other for their betrayals/trespasses (even if revenge was the way to get there), and everything is balanced between the two of them.

(of course, except will's lying about freddie, but he is still on some level accepting and leaning towards hannibal and there is a degree of balance and harmony established)

but, in the second gif in dolce, they're both trying to forgive each other by killing each other. or, at least, hannibal is, and will has forgiven hannibal but is trying to kill him anyway. this is not balanced, and they are both only really thinking about themselves. will is worried who he will become if he doesn't kill hannibal, and hannibal thinks the only way he can truly forgive will is to eat him, based on his childhood. they are not working Together. this is not balanced.

also, maybe, hannibal is still working towards forgiveness in dolce. will is the one who is creating the most.. dissonance? in their delicate balance; he forgave hannibal, yes, but he is trying to kill him outside of that, for 'selfish' reasons (using that word very loosely). hannibal giving will the knife, his trust, and will's forgiveness back, and will not being able to hold the knife, is further evidence of the imbalance in their relationship and dynamic at this point. everything is all out of wack, basically.

in dolce, however misguided his approach may be, hannibal still trusts will, loves him, and wants to forgive him. will still is not reciprocating that level of love. this is evident in their actions after seeing each other for the first time post-mizumono. this is what is communicated by the second gif.

one last thing! hannibal says 'you dropped your forgiveness, will' (about the knife). a little bit after the second gif, will drops the knife again and hannibal catches it and closes it. hannibal literally caught will's forgiveness. it's hannibal's turn to forgive, now. cue brain eating. lol. ok im done

please tell me im making any sense at all

2.10 | 3.06

"I forgive you, Will. Will you forgive me?"

"You dropped your forgiveness, Will."

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Hannibal + Winter at night

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so clark ingram crawled out of a horse to be held at gunpoint by an (ex) fbi agent whose psychiatrist was telling him not to kill him because it "wont be the same" and "wont feel as good as killing me" and witnessed the gay ass caterpillar chrysalis speech and just. didnt press charges or tell anyone ever

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It's all part of his design

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3x10 || 3x13

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happy late new year, everyone!

this marks about a year and a half since i started this blog, which is mind blowing. i made this blog to cope with my (sometimes painful) hyperfixation on hannibal when i struggled to think of anything else. though my hyperfixation on hannibal has settled down to a semi-healthy simmering obsession, my writings and thoughts and love of this goddamn show make up a large part of my identity, honestly. i strive to start writing and posting here more, because it brings me happiness. just need to carve out more free time, which is in short supply lately.

i started college in august. i am a computer science major and planning on a linguistics/literature double minor. i work at my school’s library with publishing and digital accessibility, and i was very lucky to land the job. what a great environment it is. ive made so many friends. i feel myself flourishing. after middle and high school being a, for lack of a better phrase, pit of hellish misery, i am beyond excited to live my life which has only recently begun.

also, if anyone is interested, you can also find me on my personal website/blog where i upload essays/articles about things i want to learn about more in depth. so far, theres an essay and an article about historical fashion and one essay i wrote for my literary studies class about strangers i know by claudia durastanti (i semi-recently uploaded a comparison to hannibal with it! 1k+ notes too, was not expecting it to do that well) titled ‘Ariadne's Thread: Untangling Identity in Claudia Durastanti's Strangers I Know Through the Conflation of Tenderness and Animality, Love and Violence, and Supernatural Beings as a Motif for Transformation’ i though id mention because its thematically quite similar to my hannibal analyses (also, let me know if you want to follow each other on neocities!!!)

anyways, this is quite long, but i wanted to share a little bit about my life on here, after having this blog and so many beloved mutuals for so long.

i hope everyone is doing well, and i am wishing all who read this a great 2024!

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oh my fucking god hannibal blew on the soup in the spoon so it cooled down before he gave it to will. i am in shambles.

okay no but seriously this is literally so representative of hannibal's thought process in this episode in my opinion. he blew on the spoon for like 2 seconds, which would not have cooled it down much at all. its the principle of the gesture, and shows hannibal felt compelled to care for will. i dont think will even saw it (or registered it) because he was still super drugged up, so it couldn't have been for manipulative reasons.

i think it was because in hannibal's mind, at this point, he was equating will to mischa. he just, presumably, performed surgery on will's shoulder and took the bullet out of him, stitched him up, changed his shirt, sat him at the table, and made soup for him. so, already, he is going through the motions of actions that would be seen in this context as displays of great love, consideration, and affection. especially for someone who he both already loves (so the feeling is there in the first place) and also intends to be dead by the end of the night anyway.

at this point, i think hannibal almost regressed to the mindset of a caregiver that he had for mischa because of the parallel he drew in his mind (or bedelia manipulated him to draw in his mind, lol) between will and mischa. because he loved will in the unconditional and irrevocable way he loved mischa, and he believed that the only way he could forgive will was to do what he did to her. hannibal thought he had to eat him. despite this, or, rather, in alignment with this, he saw will as a person he loved. and so, he blew on the spoon. he felt compelled to care for will. he probably did the same thing for mischa as a child

of course, once jack gets there (and also as will starts talking and wakes up more) hannibal gets caught up in the theatrics of it and comes back to the present. but i feel like before that, even just a little bit, he felt compelled to care for will the way he cared for mischa.

what really sells this for me is that in the script, he was supposed to just raise a straw to will's lips. i think this was changed to make this scene more intimate, and also to express hannibal's genuinely caring feelings towards will in these moments.

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the autopsy team in every hannibal episode:

will graham:

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People who don’t hyperfixate will never know the slightly horrible, completely impossible-to-replicate feeling of being so intensely invested in something it possesses you, takes over your waking thoughts and rides some weird line between being excited, anxious, and stressed as hell while still being entirely some other beast.

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There is No Natural Religion, William Blake

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mads mikkelsen wearing a hannibal suit in 2023 is making me want to run through walls koolaid man style

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if you think every time will enjoyed acts of violence, first episode to last, was just him being influenced by hannibal, you are essentially removing the main character's agency for the entire span of the show

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I absolutely love the “who’s crazier” Hannibal poll in which Will is winning by a landslide. I think Hannibal’s craziness is innate, it’s not just a part of who he is, it is the whole of what he is. And though he can mask it and control its output by killing in extremely careful, intricate, and methodical ways— he can’t repress it. He can’t help himself. Will is crazier because he can help it, he can repress it, and if he had never met Hannibal he probably would have lived out a semi-normal life and never succumbed to his own inner evils. But because Hannibal tripped the sleeper switch in him, and “set his brain on fire”—— he begins his descent, at first unwillingly, then still unwillingly but unflinchingly, with open eyes and clear cognition, and then slowly it BECOMES a choice. He surrenders to it the way you surrender to falling in love and he takes pleasure in it. Hannibal can’t help being crazy, but Will goes straight into the crazy with him, albeit with a little push, by choice. We will never ever ever see another fictional character like Will Graham he is truly one of a kind

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You’re fostering codependency. Is that what I’m doing?

Aside from Will displaying his usual penchant for attempting to sum up Hannibal’s motives, the lighting in this particular scene is also telling. When Will describes Hannibal’s possessive bae-related tendencies, the camera hones in on both Hannibal and Will and blurs out everything else beyond their faces. This essentially emphasises Will’s point; nothing matters to Hannibal aside from Will. And this is a feeling that Will apparently reciprocates.