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i think one of the reasons i dont vibe with a lot of modern "romantic" writing is that there's a notable lack of sweetness or tenderness written between the characters. the most popular tropes for intimacy negotiation between characters in modern romantic novels seem to be based around overcoming their own disdain, distrust, or resentment of the other character. an increasingly lazy, kneejerk "i hate how much i want them" approach to romantic and physical intimacy. true love requires doubt, they tell us. our desires can only be trusted when we douse them in cold hard rationality. no i'm not trying to come for the enemies rivals irritating workplace acquaintances to lovers trope that's so popular (although i'm also deeply bored by that). rather, i think it demonstrates a general jadedness in a genre that's otherwise supposed to be about "wish fulfillment HEA" yet struggles to conceive characters for whom tenderness and all-consuming desire is not a weakness. the irrationality that love can instill in a person is held at arm's length, a toxic impulse that must be adjusted in order to present a "healthy relationship." the overly-emotional lover has been relegated to "dark romance," or their behaviors channeled into specific genre-approved tropes which fit neatly into hetero-dominant relationship expectations. so much of it ends up reading pathos-less to me. in the hands of a talented writer, unhinged tenderness is the most excruciating possible thing to read. we used to have that, you know. we used to be a society.

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I've been working on new fanarts and trying out higher quality styles 🎨 This one features Lucien and Elain in a small but beautiful garden full of flowers. I'm also working on a similar fanart of Gwyn and Az, also set in a lovely garden 💐 If you'd like to see more, feel free to follow me on Instagram @maryfaeart — I'd love to have you there!

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Elain pissed that the gifts from Lucien were perfect. PERFECT. And wondering why he has to look that way and smell that way and wondering what he tastes like and then having to remind herself that She. Doesn’t. Want. A. Mate.

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Something simple and angsty for Zutara month~

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Oh my gosh. I just found this website that walks you though creating a believable society. It breaks each facet down into individual questions and makes it so simple! It seems really helpful for worldbuilding!

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is he acting out of character or did you get too attached to a headcanon

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"If I offer you the moon on a string, will you give me a kiss, too?"🧡

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~Lucien Vanserra🍁

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He's probably my favorite male character from Acotar and well, he deserved a fanart!😂🧡

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Ideal girl dinner?

Whatever my spouse makes me. I married someone who can’t half-ass a meal because he’s very passionate about cooking and is sickeningly an acts-of-service love language person, so I firmly believe in eating delicious shit every night. My girl dinner is gluttonous, made with love, and well seasoned. I just can’t do dinner any other way.

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I don't like the theory that Eris could be Helion's son too.

I know many like it and I understand why.

I prefer a narrative where your origins don't have to doom and define you. That's the point of his character.

It's much more poetic if Eris is Beron's son, but instead of growing into his cruelty, he grows out of his cruelty. Because he feels it upon himself and others, every single day. More poetic if Eris decides to honor the gentleness of his mother instead.

More poetic if Eris realizes he has a lot from his father and not all of it has to be negative. Some of it is assertiveness, determination, fierceness.

There's beauty in coming to terms with your origins, your upbringing. And deciding it does not have to define you forever. There's beauty in recognizing the good and the ugly and deciding you can shape your own self from that.

Eris does not have to be Helion's son to be good! And that's his character's point! That he didn't let his father win and that he chose to be his own person! And is still trying to be and probably has a bunch of guilt and identity issues! But still he doesn't give in!!

He also doesn't need to be Helion's son to be truly loved by his mother! That is also the point of his character! To see that he chose to prioritize and hold onto his mother's caring nature. That he could've grown into a cruel sexist but he would never do that to her. That he would never close his eyes to her suffering!

Wishing him to be Helion's son, empties the meaning of his character. And devalues all of his internal and external suffering and efforts. It also supports an awful genetic determinism.

Being Beron's son and deciding to break from Beron's mold, is the beauty of Eris Vanserra!!

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Saw your literal rat priest (the little doodle you posted on IG) for Paladin’s Grace and honestly, I was thinking the exact same thing when I started reading 😂😂

Would love to see more little doodles as you go! This series is becoming a comfort read for me so fast, I’m on the second book and fully hooked already 🧡

How it feels listening to Paladin’s Grace while knitting

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Getting covid while being very pregnant was not on my bingo card this year. I am barely surviving so feel free to send me asks so I can find the will to live again :-)

In exchange, here is a preview for the next chapter of Inside of You (Elucien Body Swap):

There was a reason Elain had avoided her mate at all costs.

Since the beginning, Elain had struggled to be near him. The mere proximity of Lucien’s presence sent her body into a spiral. Thigh-clenching, soaked stockings, and a trembling warmth that bordered on heat stroke—the results were always the same. No one, not even Graysen, had induced her into such a state before. But this stranger? This Fae male who the gods had deemed to be her forever second half? He had been simply handed the power to obliterate her. He could undo her as easily as one snaps a thread free.

That was terrifying.

It was too much. Too much for Elain to handle. She was not a gratuitous harlot who revelled in sex. It made her too Fae, too feral, too reckless in the throes of her animalistic instincts. This was not the carefully constructed reality she had worked so hard to build her entire life.

Being trapped in Lucien’s body with no way to escape his damning, alluring presence was a hellish curse not even Elain’s worst nightmares could have conjured.

“Clothes?” Lucien croaked, reminding her of the very first concern that had rippled through her once they arrived at his apartment.

“Well, yes, more so how will we approach it without being…disrespectful to one another?”

“Er,” the noise that came out of Lucien sounded broken.

He brought over a neatly folded pile of clothes and handed them over.

“I trust you,” he said plainly. “You can change in the washroom. I’ll use the opportunity to send out some urgent messages. We can tackle, er, my situation afterwards.”

That was reasonable. Elain allowed herself to breathe a quick, anxious breath.

“And Elain,” he said. “Feel free to be as disrespectful as you would like. I am unashamed of what you’ll find.”

Lucien winked. She had never seen herself do such a thing before.

Fuck.

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Starting Paladin’s Grace and interpreting “rat priests” a little too literally

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Doing my civic duties and giving helion thick arms and fat tiddies

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Why do we say “slept like a baby” when babies literally wake up screaming every two hours?

I want to sleep like a middle-aged dad who “rests his eyes” during a Marvel movie and wakes up refreshed, confused, and ready to barbecue.

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DAY TWO ACOTEN BRACKET

The voting continues! It’s time to choose another favorite. A difficult task, considering Elucien have never had a single bad track 😩

QUOTE 1: His gaze settled on Elain, and he sagged a little. But Elain only wrapped her arms around herself and remained at my side. “Are you hurt?” he asked, coming toward us. Spying the blood speckling Elain’s hands.

QUOTE 2: “No—I didn’t have time. I felt her, but …” A blush stained his cheek. Whatever he’d felt, it wasn’t what we were looking for. Even if we had no idea what, precisely, that was.

Make sure to head over to our Instagram to cast your vote there, too! We'll be keeping the results separate, so feel free to participate on both platforms!

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He's frustrated with his dog (Tamlin) for misbehaving at the HoA meeting (high lord meeting)

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