crazyd4esq

[crazyd4esq]

Anyway, I'm bored . . . here's Santa's Stand . . .

Name: The Man With All The Toys (dub name: Santa's Bag of Holding)

Name Reference: "The Man With All The Toys" by The Beach Boys (dub name: "Santa's Got a Bag of Soul" by The Soul Saints Orchestra, and bag of holding from D&D)

Stats:

Dest. Power: - | Speed: - | Range B | Persistence: A | Precision: - | Dev. Potential: complete

Abilities: TMWATT appears to be an oversized burlap sack and can be seen by people without Stands. It is functionally indestructible and weighs 50lbs, regardless of contents, and can hold an infinite number and weight of objects. It can't move on its own and has no offensive capabilities, but Santa's incredible strength allows him to wield it like a flail. In a pinch, Santa can reach inside the bag and pull out whatever toy he's thinking of (one at a time); he uses this when ranged combat is necessary (he pulls out a slingshot, water gun, toy bow, baseball, firecrackers, etc.). He has a limited ability to control a moving toy and toy's projectile (since the toy and projectile are part of the Stand), but a projectile vanishes when out of range. He can also dismiss the bag and resummon it to his hand without affecting the contents.

[crazyd4esq]

Want to know why I vanished again?

Didn't think so. Anyway, I nearly died. My exercise bike broke and I went facefirst into the corner of my wrought iron end table. If my face was tilted up maybe 2-3 inches I would've lost an eye, and the table edge might've crashed through the socket bone and dug into my brain (probably killing me). The ER folks said the cut was more than 3 inches across and went all the way down to my skull at the deepest point. I needed so many stitches that the plastic surgeon didn't even bother trying to count how many. I needed a plastic surgeon to do it instead of a regular surgeon so I could regain some use of my eyebrow . . . the surgeon admitted I'd basically be unable to move my eyebrow anymore without a specialist doing the job (I still can't raise it all the way anymore, since all the muscles were cut clean through and stitching can only do so much, but I have a follow-up procedure in a few months to hopefully fix that).

I got the stiches out a while back. There's a huge scar, but I guess it's not that terrible. Since a lot of it's covered by my eyebrow, it mainly looks like a brontosaurus, or a giraffe, or a catobelpas I guess, or a seagull in the distance, or a cat doing the butt-in-the-air-stretch thingy. But it's itchy as hell and I can't raise that eyebrow more than halfway at this point.

Nobody cares, d4, shut up and die.

[crazyd4esq]

no cis woman in history has been denied medical care due to the existence of trans people or gender neutral language but plenty of trans men have died of childbirth complications and reproductive cancers they couldn’t get treatment for in the name of “protecting” cis women from us

[crazyd4esq]

do you actually care about trans men or do you relegate male pregnancy to the status of "gross but funny fanfiction trope" at best and "literal body horror" at worst? do you actually care about trans men or have you accepted without question the ideas that bottom growth is a borderline-torturously painful process and phalloplasty is a dangerous surgery with objectively unsatisfactory results because they confirm your implicit assumptions about the violence and horror of masculinization? do you actually care about trans men or do you think testosterone being a controlled substance is fair because you prioritize fairness in sports more highly than transmasculine lives? do you actually care about trans men or do you distance yourself from us as we transition and make half-joking comments about us being traitors because you view transmasculinity as a shift from ally to enemy? do you actually care about trans men or do you get mad at us when we read transmasculine experiences into female characters because you see it as an act of theft and believe transmasculinity is inherently less valuable than womanhood? do you actually care about trans men or is your first thought when you see a transition timeline about how pretty the "before" picture is? do you actually care about trans men or does your interest in our lives begin and end with how badly you want a boypussy to fuck?

do we exist to you as real people or only in theory? do you read the stories we tell, listen to the music we make? how many of us can you name? when we speak, do you listen? would you fight for us? do you trust us to know ourselves best? are you our friend? do you mourn us when we're gone? do you care for us while we're still here?

[crazyd4esq]

"I got bullied at school again!"

"Wait . . . doesn't my mom's brother owe me a favor?"

"Hey . . . Uncle? Uhhh . . . that bully . . . and . . . uhhh . . ."

"This is really, really not what I had in mind when I said I owe you a favor. Are you sure?"

". . . yeah. Give 'um the Devil’s Lance!"

". . . . . very well. Say hi to my sister for me."

"Hehehehehehe."

[crazyd4esq]

OH MY GOD shipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipshipship

I know nothing about simpai beyond a Foghorn Leghorn meme and have no intention or desire to learn more, but I get the feeling this would be good.

[crazyd4esq]

So something I see a lot now is what I call "villains fighting villains" or "I hope a meteor falls and wipes them both out."

Like when a company that pays their workers shit and has a thousand BS carveouts from its health insurance complains about how ozempic/zepbound/etc. is clearly way overpriced because it can be.

Or when an "artist" that specializes in rape porn of children complains about chatgpt or whatever.

Or when someone wants to shit on me for not hating something I'm arbitrarily supposed to.

Too bad meteors don't just drop from the sky, I guess.

[crazyd4esq]

Random thoughts from the past week:

The difference between "lithium" and "less lithium" can be the difference between getting a few new scars or not.

11 hours of deliberating is practically nothing for a jury in NYC. Like the jury figured it out but wanted to hold out a bit longer so they'd get a free lunch (and there's nothing wrong with that).

Going on about Trouba's elbows is the hockey equivalent of "but her emails . . ."

[crazyd4esq]

It gets better? Try losing all your friends, losing your job, getting sexually assaulted twice, and finding out your antipsychotics are literally killing you. THEN try spewing that "it gets better" bullshit.

[crazyd4esq]

Help my don't-feel-horrible pills aren't making me feel any less horrible

[crazyd4esq]

Is it normal to still have nightmares about being raped over a decade after it happened?

[crazyd4esq]

Ever get the feeling that if you killed yourself, nobody would care or notice until eventually your body started to stink and the neighbors complained or something?

Because I'm pretty sure that would happen with me.

[crazyd4esq]

Dear diary...

The fact that I'm still "alive" in 2024 just feels like a huge mistake...

[crazyd4esq]

The biggest lie anyone has ever told me is "it gets better."

[crazyd4esq]

"well if it's not androgynous what should a nonbinary person look like??" ***EXTREMELY LOUD BUZZER SOUND*** WRONG!!!! YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG!!!!!!! NOBODY "SHOULD" ANYTHING!!!! THAT IS NOT WHAT QUEERNESS IS ABOUT!!!!! GO TO THE CALM DOWN CORNER AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE JUST SAID.

[crazyd4esq]

But in all seriousness kids, if you’re trying to kill yourself don't try to OD on Tylenol. It takes too long so they'll find you before it works, there's a high chance of survival, etc.

[crazyd4esq]

One of the reasons I haven't posted as much is I got kidney disease from my lithium (supposedly) and my fucking asshole piece of shit doctor is saying I need to immediately go off it.

So I should kill myself, I guess.