crazyslutsthesedays

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She wrote poems

For no one to read

Hoping in some weird way it would still reach out to the ones who could heal her

And then

Back to silence

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“Too many people are faking the funk.  I was at the club the other night.  And I’m scrolling through my Instagram and I see a post from a girl I know.  And she’s at the same club.  And in this photo she’s holding up a bottle, acting crazy, looking like she doesn’t have a care in the world.  But the club wasn’t even rocking like that.  It was a Thursday.  So I look across the room and there she is: sitting down, looking bored, scrolling through her phone, and clearly faking the funk.”

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“I’m much younger than I thought I would be.  When I was in college, I thought 43 seemed so old.  It just seemed everything would be set by then and my life would be over.  I thought I’d only be doing things that I had to do.  Everything is a choice when you’re young.  But then you graduate from school and make your big decisions: your career, your marriage, your kids. And it seems that with each big decision, you have less opportunity for choice.  But I still have a lot of choices.  It’s just not all about me anymore.  I enjoy choosing ways for my kids to experience new things.  I’m thinking about bringing them to the Ben and Jerry’s factory in Vermont next weekend.  I think they’ll get a kick out of it.  I can still remember my daughter’s face the first time she saw Yankee Stadium.  I’d already been dozens of times, but it almost felt like the first time for me too.  And I love taking my son to his soccer games.  He’s only six so he has no clue how to play.   But he’s decided that his job is to run back and forth in front of the goal.  He basically invented defense and I got to watch it happen.  These things are a lot of fun for me.  When I was young, I imagined they’d feel like obligations.  But they’re not.  They’re choices.”

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The sound of heavy rain while sitting in a parked car.

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Watch the whole thing. The artist is dr_mederos. More interesting posts here: @sixpenceee

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“The only time they’re peaceful is when they’re watching cartoons. They argue over everything. They fight over toys. They call each other names. But as much as they fight, they also can’t live without each other. Anytime I try to separate them, two minutes later they’re talking again.” (Jaipur, India)

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“We moved to the city thirty years ago when I was a small child. We hardly had a penny at the time. My father sacrificed everything for us. If I needed new clothes, he’d wear old clothes. And he never complained. If business wasn’t good, he’d keep it to himself so we wouldn’t have to worry. Once when I was twelve years old, I really wanted a bicycle. So he bought one for me. Shortly after that, I noticed that he wasn’t wearing his favorite ring. He told me that he was getting it fixed. When I became an adult, I asked him again: ‘Where is that ring? I want to make one just like it.’ Finally he told me: ‘I sold that ring to get your bicycle.’” (Jaipur, India)

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“I came to the city when I was twenty and became a fruit seller. It’s allowed me to build a house in my village. I feel healthy. I get to eat. A lot of people don’t get to eat on time. So I’ve gotten everything I wanted. The minute you think: ‘I have a lot’—that’s the moment your spirit is at rest. My spirit is at rest.” (Jaipur, India)

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I ruined everything that could've been good for me

Because I didn't believe I deserved it

Or

I should be walking out before it walks out on me

It'll hurt less that way

Now I can't sleep because I'm being choked by all the regret

Why can't I let myself be happy

Why can't I learn to love

And learn to be loved

Restraining myself from talking to toxic people because it's always easy to cope that way

Do I honestly lack that much self control

Or is karma finally playing her role in my life

Did I deserve this or is this a reflection of my actions

Will I be successful

Will I have love in my life

Does the pain lessen when things get better

Or

Does it simply grow quiet yet always constant

I want to be positive

I'm captive to my own demons

I hear them whisper evil things right before I sleep

They talk about my grudges and traumas

The envy and greed

And remind me

That I'll be alone even when I see a chance to not be

And I'm starting to accept that this really is life

Pain is just the compromise

[crazyslutsthesedays]

[crazyslutsthesedays]

Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it.

Mandy Hale, The Single Woman (via wordsnquotes)

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1973 Mazda RX-3 400 bhp

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