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Fun Fact
The “We are the 99%” Tumblr blog became the slogan for the Occupy Wall Street movement.
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I read somewhere that being transparent and having a schedule makes kids feel safe. So, tonight we had a fun family meeting and created a new schedule that starts Monday. We wrote it out and posted it on the wall for the kids to see.
By 9:00am Dress, Eat breakfast, Brush Teeth.
Free play in the morning
10:00am Lesson
FREE daily lessons here:
11:00am Math Facts
Around $8 a month 100% worth it.
It has the entire curriculum from k-5 and it makes each lesson a game. We do 3 stars a day!
12:00pm Lunch
12:30pm Free Play
2pm Reading - Teacher’s (Mom’s) Choice
2:30pm Snack
3:00pm Art - Teacher’s (Mom’s) Choice
I have a website with art activities if you want it.
4:00pm Free play
5:00pm Shower/Bath
6:00pm Dinner
Wednesdays we add chores:
Laundry & Clean rooms after lunch before Free Time.
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I look to my left and laundry is overflowing from our theee basket hamper. I did two loads two days ago of all the kids clothes, but somehow those have piled back up too. Jacob, our oldest has started begrudgingly doing his own laundry once a week, a task that usually spreads out over the span of three days between the complaining, temper tantrums, flat out refusals and then final surrender so he can go play his video game or be glued to a mind craft “how to” video on YouTube, which is basically a kid watching another kid play a video game. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to grasp that one. Or why our toddler is infatuated with watching other kids play with paw patrol toys on You Tube as much or more so than actually playing with the giant paw patrol look out tower, paw patrol truck and all of the characters that are sitting in our living room.
My perfect little princess is on the left of me blissfully asleep. I managed not to eat or drink any dairy products today so she’s not in any pain. My brother In laws words ring in my ear “at least your not like those asshole parents that keep eating and drinking the stuff that hurts their babies!” Yes I am, some days, I forget and I’m that asshole parent and I feel like shit about it. But not tonight, I analyzed everything I put in my mouth all day and aside from a small amount of whip on my coffee I avoided all the “danger foods”. Little to no dairy, no wheat, no broccoli, can’t have beans and just to be safe I google most things to make sure they don’t cause gas... because the screams, her screams when I accidentally slip tear at my heart. Not just once but a few times, but I’m getting better. I’ll do better tomorrow ..
Pictures cascade over my tv of memories, cute days when I dressed the kids up, birthdays, baseball, pregnancy days, life before kids. It’s a reminder of how fast this all goes. How every second matters. I’m trying to pack in all the activities I can be a part of into the last month and a half of my maternity leave. Swimming, soccer, bricks with kids, alisons art bus, coding class. Will this be the last time I ever get to dedicate so much of myself to them? I hope not.
And then there’s me. “Can’t pour from an empty cup”. “Gotta take care of myself too or I won’t have energy to take care of anyone else.” My own advice I’ve given so much to other people and previously to myself playing ironically In my head.
Listening to a book on audio, spending time watching shows with my husband once the kids are in bed, planning visits with friends on weekends in between chores and activities. Planning date nights to the theater or a cooking class months in advance because if I don’t then it’ll never happen. Drinking a glass of bailies over ice or a glass or two of wine because, well, balance.
Tomorrow I should get up and do 3 loads of laundry before lunch, diaper changes, nursing breaks, picking up j from school, changing the boys into swim outfits, packing the swim and diaper bag, taking the boys to swim class, making dinner and then starting the night routine; but instead I’m going to take Ethan to the park in the morning and relax. It’s not the first time I’ve chosen to relax instead of doing chores but I’m going to practice doing it without the guilt this time. I’m going to practice “choosing joy”. I’m going to breath in the fresh air and take in the moments with my kids. Because if life has taught me anything, it’s that there’s no rewind button, there’s no pause button and you can’t replay it back. So, instead of worrying about what I’m not doing, l’m going to focus in on what I would have missed instead.
It’s a whirl wind, and it’s messy. There’s tantrums and tears (sometimes my own) and guilt, oh there’s lots of that. There’s days that feel like the domino effect is never going to end. But, there’s also the best moments in those days, the hugs with the warmest most unconditional love in the world, the “Mama your my best friend”, the trusting conversations about today’s interaction on the playground, the look in my daughters eyes as she lights up when she sees me. Those moments make it all worth it and those are the moments I’m going to do my best to live in, one day at a time.
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January 2019
I don’t even know where to start but I do know I want to remember these moments. Cabo in October was amazing with Michael, Michaella and the kids.
At the end of December Michaels family friends, Sasha, Rita and their son Ethan, visited from NY to see California. We planned so much... in truth I think we overplanned but it was a blast nonetheless. We went to Napa, to lunch and a winery, to SF to my favorite restaurant Alioto’s before taking a walk on the pier, seeing the sea lions and treating the kids to a ride on the carousel and some ice cream. The next day we headed to Monterey where we visited the aquarium and ate at this perfectly quaint restaurant with the biggest oysters I’ve ever seen and a bottle of Rombour to celebrate Sasha’s birthday.
We woke up the next morning and ventured the last few hours to Santa Barbra, shopped a bit, had some lunch and then continued on to Anaheim. Disneyland was so much fun and we made it a point to do all the fun stuff for the kids. We went on all of the toddler rides, explored toon town and squeezed in the fire works before heading back to the hotel. The kids were half asleep at 11pm on the bus back but they made it and were up with bight eyes ready to do it again, this time without our friends as they had more exploring to do the next day elsewhere in Southern California.
We saw the Christmas parade and the whole park was decked out in holoday decor. We saw fantasmic that night which was amazing. It is definitely a must see when going to Disneyland for sure, the kids loved it.
The adventures and the highs turned even higher after we got home before hitting a major low.
When I got home I found out I was pregnant. The day before New Years I had a misscarage. Talk about an emotional rollercoaster to say the least.
I found myself not wanting to talk about it because I didn’t want the sympathy. I also don’t want to pretend that that little embryo didn’t exist either. I will always know he or she did exist, if only for a few weeks.
The hot flashes and other symptoms have made it hard to escape mentally for a week or so .. which has felt like an enternity. Even as I write this it’s crazy to think it’s only been a week. it feels like it’s drug out for so long and it’s only been a blink In time.
I’m sitting here trying to find a positive or a lesson in all of this because well because that’s my nature but the truth is sometimes there’s not a positive. Sometimes it just sucks. This is one of those moments.
What I can say that has been positive is all of the love I have received from family and friends and especially Michael, Michaella and the kids. My perception has changed in an indescribable way. The value I put on self care, family and friends is even more accute than it was before as well.
In 2019 I will become more engaged, spend more time with positive people and try to make some kind of positive impact each and every day.
It was definitely a whirlwind at the end of the year but, regardless, I choose to focus on the positive and I have faith that that will make all of the difference.
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(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeNECr5JYg4)
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My baby is sick
And I’m sick too! Stuffy nose, sore throat, body aches. This is not the business. Because I can only see the runny nose and feel his warm little head, I can only assume he feels the same way I do. He’s never been sick before. (Unless you count a teething cold - which I don’t. Those pass quickly and are mostly just a runny nose and fixed with one dose of Tylenol.) This sick stuff is no joke, even if I was running at 100%, which I’m definitely not.
Tonight I took a bath with him, which he refused to sit down in. I don’t know his issue but ever sense he could stand he just wants to stand. After bath time we did a mini massage, changed into a warm onesie and brushed teeth. And then came the med routine. Fill up the venaltor with water, Add the solution. But the bottle says if they’re under two to ask a doctor. Ok, I’ll just put a little bit. Saline flush his nose, use the nose Freda to clear all the boogers out so he can breath and so doesn’t cough and wake himself up. Give the all natural cough and cold stuff to him. Double check the ingredients just to make sure they haven’t changed since the last time I gave it to him and that they really are all natural. Give Tylenol to break his fever. Kisses. Milk. Sit in the rocking chair and play music. That’s not working. Try singing. Nope he just wants a hug. 😩My poor baby is so sick I’m not going to deny him a hug. Ok, ok I’ll get in the crib but you have to sleep! Sing, more music, more hugs. He stands up against the crib wall laughing at me. Finally he wears himself out and puts his head on my shoulder to rest and finally falls asleep next to me. Now to get out of the crib. Very. Quietly.
Michael is making me some theraflu. I have a giant blanket wrapped around me. I just pray he sleeps for a few hours before I have to repeat the med routine again. #MomLife
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Banana! He is so excited he can say it he wants them alllll the time lol
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First hit on his first day of practice!
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I don’t want to speak too soon...
But I feel like this Mom thing is getting a little easier. Maybe it’s that Ethan has been in his own room for a few weeks now, sleeping (mostly) through the night and I’m finally getting some solid sleep. Maybe it’s that I have some extra help from our au pair (insert guilt that I need it). Maybe it’s that Jacob had his first day of baseball today and is In gymnastics and I’m about to sign him up for swimming so he’s getting all of that extra energy out. Whatever it is life seems to be more manageable lately. I haven’t felt like I’m going to come unraveled at any given moment from my 12 hour work days vs mom life, for at least a week now! Which is huge news for me! Lol
Jacob did so good at baseball today! He loved it! He ran and played catch and hit the ball a few times and learned to run around the bases. He made some new friends too. I think this is the beginning of something really good for him!
Ethan is running all over the place getting into everything with a sudden love for bannanas (since that’s the only word besides mama and papa he knows how to say! Lol)
We all laughed and talked at dinner tonight, Jacob is in the bath independently washing and getting himself ready for bed, Ethan is in his crib listening to lullaby’s and I have time.. 😍🙏🏼 time to read or write or whatever I want! It feels like Christmas lol
All in all, it was a very good day. 💙
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Putting Ethan to bed
He has been in his crib for 20 minuets quietly as I read in the rocking chair playing Nick Lachey lulibys for him. Out of no where he farts and starts giggling. It’s official. I have a toddler boy. 😩
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Saturday with my boys. J is so excited Ethan is walking and can play with him! 💙
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