creeper-awhman

[creeper-awhman]

I feel horrible bc my bf hasnt been feeling the best for like 6days so far n its been affecting me too really badly i understand he not doing well but all i can feel is that im annoying him and he losing feeling bc im scared when people moods changes idk ehats going to happen i normally just think they not feeling well bur rhen a couple day later they leave me i resllt dont want him to leave me im scared and i slso frel horrible bc he shouldn’t be worried to hurt my feelings whole hes not feeling ok but also i feel like he doesnt trust me sometimes bc he NOW doesnt tell me why hes upset did i make him feel uncomfortable but now bc of that i feel uncomfortable to “start” trlling my feelings i was slowly getting out of not telling anyone but him not telling me anything making me feel takking back i hate myself so much i wish i could cut myself but noe. Im lit getting cheacked everyweek bc i accidentally cut too deeply almost hit domething its been about twi weeks since that it still bleeding after the adrenaline of it i mow realize yes it was deep but it couldve been deeper and i overreacted i should’ve gone deeper i should’ve just killed myself i hate my fucking life so much im a waste of space n air

[creeper-awhman]

Im so jealous of everyone who’s so pretty naturally im so ugly even with the makeup just kill me no

[creeper-awhman]

Sometimes i INNOCENTLY touch myself wishing it was ur hand instead i wish you were here with me cuddling, holding me like im your baby just us only us together away from the world n any other person that steals ur attention i want ur attention all of it selfishly.

[creeper-awhman]

I needed you amd you left me all by myself texting me a “i miss you “ two hours after i asked if we could call because i wasn’t feeling well i needed you and you left me alone not even a seen i felt so ignored why couldn’t you just answered told me no anything but instead you left me i hate being left i just wanted you to be there we didn’t have to talk i just needed to feel your presence knowing you were on the other line instead i was left crying alone all alone you didn’t even know what you did was wrong you probably didnt even reread our messages am im too much

[creeper-awhman]

Idk why but i so badly want to cut myself in publoc like i cant even the urge just eats me alive like i wish i bring my razor with me 24/7 just to feel something to relieve myself it truly like a spike of energy for me is it bad yea but it helps so so much bro…like i wouldnt recommend cutting yourslef to anyonelike i truly feel bad whenever i see my friends do but for me its like qn escape making myself feel the pain physically and mentally isk….

[creeper-awhman]

I love helping people i makes me feel needed ngl.

[creeper-awhman]

Why must they always be in my head I can’t communicate for shit because of them

[creeper-awhman]

All i can think of is cutting myself i dont feel well rn i feel sick i want ti cry i hate myself i dont want to be here why am im geeting jeakous he conforting someone else is it bc i want than but i dont want him to be worried i need reassurance i need him to truly understand that just writing this is maming me feel the tears more im so stupid i hate feeling this way especially in public its like 10x worse i. Public bc i already feel the anxiety that people are going to judge me i dont want to be judged i want to be understood is that too much i wanr to die i held on till may but how long after that cab i hang on more . I cant hang on any more than this im so tired of my pathetic life. I dont want one single text asking why i want to be spammed i want to know you actually want to help me i want to know you wont give up your giving up tho even after you saaud you wouldnt i believed that i even smiled at seeing it but im not seeing thay you wont give up what if you already gave up on me i need you to show me that i make sure many times that your doing fine but when its me you asked once maybe five times if im ok but no more thwn that am im asking for tm??? Mwybe i am the problem im asking tm im too mentally ill for anyone im just driving myself crazy and i hate that.

[creeper-awhman]

I hate my liaf

[creeper-awhman]

I hate rhat i hate sm like im supposed to be love able and love all but eveyone around me is just so cruel ane i hate seeing them live their best life with no consequences i hate it sm

[creeper-awhman]

I feel so ignored every word i say is like talking to a wall do i just talk to much am im the problem

[creeper-awhman]

Do i try to hard or do i try not enough i want to be enough

[creeper-awhman]

I want to treat you how you treat me but im not that type of person i love you to much

[creeper-awhman]

[creeper-awhman]

I just want one fucking day where im fully happy