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My Person

Starting from the top shows beautifully curled and messy hair of yours that makes me want to comb it with my hands. You've got those on fleak eyebrows that formed slits when I'm talking to someone else, curving downwards when you want my love and perfectly curving upwards when everthing is alright. Going down to those sparkling eyes of yours that stares at me like I'm the most beautiful girl in the world. That cute nose that I've always wanted to pinch. The lips that shows a bright smile, soft, sweet and sometimes daring. You give me those sweet, securing,comforting kisses. Your smile that makes everything so wonderful, even though your color is dark, you have those sparkling stars in your eyes and a glowing heart in your chest. You are my person, my one and only true love. You complete me. You loved me. You cried for me. You smile for me. Only for me because you are my person and I am yours.

[crestofveritas-blog]

After 6 years

I remember 2 months ago, I was just an avid fan of the love story of you and my friend. I supported both of you, I even took photos of you two. I became a third wheeler of your Mutual Understanding Relationship. I supported you in courting my friend because I thought you we're the right guy for her. After all she really needs a kind of boy like you.

But maybe I was wrong, my expectations and dreamy stories that I made for you two was just a thought a 'should not be spoken words' now. The plot of the story is now twisted into unexpected tragic love story. The words that you used to say to her before are now the words you use to make me feel loved. I comforted you before because I thought it was my obligation because i pushed you in courting my friend even if she already refused and now you're shattered into pieces, I helped you. I fixed you. After that you started to like me. That time i was broken too. And you also helped and fixed me then. So I decided to give you the benefit of the doubt. I trusted you, I replied to your sweet chats and 'I like you's' until it turned into 'i love you'.

Time passed we fall into the place where we can't get up anymore. We fell inlove and we continue falling while holding each other. But it seems that the world is against us. My parents, most of my friends and even the people i don't know is against to our love story. Some of my friends helped us in finding places where we can hide. Where the selfish eyes are not around. I almost begged and wished so hard for them not to tear the pages of the book where we can write the next chapter of our story. I cried for help to give me the pen that i will use to write. And I almost die in finding ways just to hold your hand. We both suffer. You was hurt by the knife stabbing words of those people. You was forced to leave me. But you can't. We can't leave each other. We can't stop loving each other. We decided to hide the relationship we had. The relationship that was written, but we just remember it into our minds and hearts.

I am afraid that i might lose you. But you said "I will wait till that 6 years pass. Wait for me too, so that after that years we will show up and after more years, just say yes and I will marry you".

I love you.

[crestofveritas-blog]

"Not all people finds love like the moon, some are just clouds that seeks for the light of the sun. Unlike the moon who's restless and full of hope in chasing the sun even sometimes they do not meet."

[crestofveritas-blog]

It was a very tiring day until you held my hand and simply kissed my forehead, and that tiring day becomes worth it.

-Juliana

[crestofveritas-blog]

"They say, marriage is about work and commitment. Funny thing, a crest of a nation has the words of Veritas, Honoris, Amare. Truth, Honor and Love. And it does'nt talk about duty."

-Ceirene

[crestofveritas-blog]

E P I P H A N Y

If our fate will going to disappear like this, then this is my last letter. Penned words, written then erased, dark, messy and blurred.

Feelings for you? It was huge as a bright sky, but I promise, things will change. As it turn into a a vast empty sky. It was no longer as colorful as a rainbow, not as bloomy as the flowers in the garden. It was no longer you and me.

And hey, I met another person. I've been a fool for entertaining him. Maybe too desperate to forget you. I tell myself I am happy with him, I tell it. But I don't actually feel it. Im a puzzle that has so many missing pieces. Hectic days, keeping myself busy,funny thing I make distraction filled schedule. But I can't forget, it was you who's burned into the back of my mind like a tattoo.

Forcing myself to understand that we can’t return to those days. And if I could, I’d call your name. No… but I’ll accept your blame. I know I'm hurting someone when I talk and think about you like,What have you been up to lately? Who are you thinking of so far away?I felt guilty for hurting him but loving you keep me doing this. Life without you is really unbelievable, I want to be with you but I want to forget you too. I dont wanna hurt someone and I won't. I'll keep my promise to stay, even if my heart is still into you, the heart that you've been stolen away.

To the person Im staying with. Relationship without love won't work. But we can try. As long as you're happy and not as miserable as me. As long as I'm not hurting you, I wont let you see the shattered pieces of my heart that now you thought is whole.

To the person I loved too much. To the red thread that got too entangled in itself. Maybe that thread is way too much knotted to me, but you're trying to untie it, you want to cut it, you want to forget about it, about me, about us. While me, I'll keep it with my right hand and hold his hand tight with my left. Unfaithful maybe, but I guess it is the only thing I can do now.

Since I've loved you too much. I won't be selfish. I'mma let you go and fly. But the strings that has been tangled up is still the string I'll use to keep my self fixed and whole. I'll love myself. And stop believing in singularity.