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Steven showed up to Jasper's hide out like

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Everyone out here talking about Himbos, but how can y’all not pay homage to one of the absolute gods of himboism.

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A dog would never say “yolo” or “you only lick once” because they can lick many, many times and are acutely aware of this.

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why do parents insult their own kids in front of their friends like wtf you demons lmao

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crackoons

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wheres that gif of a dude playing golf but he lands it like a fire emblem crit animation

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#It was a thing on set!

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“Ed called me dad and I held Al’s hands in his real body!”

(FMA Week 2015 Day 5, Reunion)

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Totally normal

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Fantasy RPG Races as Dogs

Human:

Elf:

Dwarf:

Halfling:

Half Orc:

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Nino doesn’t get paid enough for this.

Bonus:

Keep reading

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Crystal Eyes/Crystalize: Book 1- The Great Rewakening (on Wattpad) http://my.w.tt/UiNb/ZZmTffCymE For thousands of years, the secrets of magic had been hidden from human eyes, with only a select few working in the shadows. Three years ago, the illusion broke worldwide. Now in a world that is slowly acclimating to the rise of magic, a young thaumaturge and his sorcerer best friend are caught up in a magical power struggle over a powerful magical artifact thought to be lost to the ages.

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tfw ur trying to write plot but ur brain only provides you with out-of-sequence snippets built on vague ideas and an endless number of potential outcomes that develop and branch out unnaturally over an unspecified timespan

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do i have writers block or did i never have any talent and just accidentally wrote something good that one time

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Fusion Quandary: a Steven Universe fic

It's a slow day at the car wash. Not that it matters as much as it used to. Even after a night in Empire City’s fanciest hotel, a boat rental that turned into a boat purchase, and a new-ish car, Greg Universe still has a little more than 9 million dollars to his name, and even if he didn't, he's content to live as he always had. And if that means that today he would be lounging about playing guitar, well, it's a good day for it

He's in the middle of working out a key change when a vaguely familiar voice catches his ear.

“Um... Dad Universe?”

He tilts his head up. Standing behind him is the tall, tan-skinned fusion of his son and Connie.

”Stevonnie! Good to see you.”

He gets up and hugs them, and despite the height difference, he can tell that they're tense. He looks at them and sees the anxiety in their eyes, their posture.

“Good to see you, too.” They smile, but it doesn't exactly reach their eyes.

“Is there a problem?”

“Um... Steven wanted to play that new CapsuCreature Solargame with Connie, but it's a single player game, so they decided that I could play it, and... well, I'm kind of... stuck at this one part.”

They hold out the portable Mintendo D-Screen system Steven recently bought. It's folded closed.

Greg looks at it, borderline incredulous. Why him? “I'm not too good at video games. Have you asked Amethyst?”

They look away shyly. “I... Connie doesn't think this is something the Gems would really understand.”

Cautiously, Greg flips the system open, not sure what to expect.

He sees a portly, dark-skinned woman in a lab coat- a scientist of some sort, he'd guess. The text reads “ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL?” with another dialog box open for the player to make a choice.

“Well, this doesn't look too hard, you just have to answer the...” He looks up at the fusion, and the dots connect in his held. “I think I see the problem.”

“I've just never really thought about it, before. It didn't really matter if I was a boy or a girl the first time I showed up, or when I was fighting Jasper or training with Pearl, but now this game just... wants me to choose!”

“And you don't know what to pick.”

“Yeah! I mean, a lot of people think I look and sound like a girl, but Steven is totally okay wearing dresses and makeup and stuff but that doesn't make him any less of a boy, just like swordfighting doesn't make Connie any less of a girl. And I'm both of them, so I should be both. But I'm not really Steven or Connie, so shouldn't I be neither? I just...” They throw themself onto the ground rear-first, head on their knees. “I should know this! Why don't I? What even am I?”

Greg flips the system closed, and - with some difficulty- maneuvers into a sitting position across from them.

“You’re a Stevonnie.”

“Hm?” Their head whips up, tears still rolling down their face.

“You might not know what you are. I sure don't, and we may never know. But you know what you aren't? You're not a freak. And you're not alone. There are people everywhere who feel something like what you're feeling. There are girls with male bodies, and boys with female bodies, and people with bodies somewhere in between, and people who aren't sure if they’re boys or girls, or have decided to be both, or neither, or something in between. But whatever you choose, even if you don't choose or you change your mind, you'll have people who love and support you. So here.” He hands them the game system. “Flip a coin of you have to. But don't let this define you. Don't let anyone define you, but you. Not even me.”

Stevonnie looks down at the small, rectangular machine in their hand, and then slowly glanced up to meet Greg’s eye.

And then suddenly, Stevonnie’s arms were wrapped around him. “Thanks Dad.”

“Any time, Kiddo.” He does his best to hug back.

“I love you,” Stevonnie whispers, and presses their lips against his forehead.

Then they get up and skip away, light and free as the first time he’d seen them. Something in that reminds him of Rose, and he smiles fondly.

It's monumentally easier for him to stand up again.

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Writing is zipping along through six pages in under an hour and then getting stuck on a single transition sentence for three weeks.

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Me: Okay so I set up this awkward and strained moment in Connie and her mother's relationship. How do I get them to actually talk to each other?

My brain: Remember that Garnet weather shitpost from like a million years ago?

Me: of course.