cries4spiderman

[cries4spiderman]

If you support gay marriage reblog this. If you're on the homophobic side, keep scrolling.

As a bisexual, it sickens me that some people WILL keep scrolling.

[cries4spiderman]

I’ve been thinking a lot about the character of the blonde popular bitch in teen movies. There are a lot of examples:

Regina George (Mean Girls), Sharpay Evans (High School Musical), Heather Chandler (Heathers), and Cher Horowitz (Clueless) just to make a few.

What is interesting is all of their characters are defined by three primary characteristics: being physically attractive, being ultra-feminine, and having ambition. Now what’s interesting is the first two characteristics are things that society likes in women, so in a typical story one would expect these characters to be treated as heros or at least love interests. But instead ¾ of these characters are either primary or secondary villains. Cher is the exception, being the protagonist of her movie, but many of her actions are vilified by the script so despite being the protagonist, it isn’t until the end that she is treated like a hero.

Why is this character type villainized?

The answer is that these characters are women who use the things that society likes in women (femininity, beauty) not for men, but for their own personal use. This goes back to the aforementioned ambition. These characters crave power, and are willing to work for it, more specifically, they are willing to use their ~feminine wiles~ to get it. By having this ultra masculine character trait, these characters are seen as villains when they perform simple acts like caring about their appearance, or being flirtatious. Traits like this, ambition, flirtation and even vanity are praised in male characters.

Many of the actions and personalities these women do/have are strikingly similar to many male anti heroes in action movies.

They are arrogant, clever, manipulative, self-aggrandizing, just like characters like Tony Stark, Loki, Han Solo and Deadpool. But whereas these anti heroes become lovable scoundrels with hearts of gold, these characters become the villains of their tales because they are teenage girls.

To me what this says is audiences and writers are fine with all the traits associated with ambition, they just aren’t fine when it’s associated with femininity. Because an ambitious clever man is a scoundrel, but an ambitious woman is a bitch.

As a little girl constantly seeing these characters portrayed as evil made me develop a really negative image of femininity. I wanted to think I was superior to other girls because I feel better presenting pretty masculine. I was really misogynistic to a lot of girls because of my preconceived notions about femininity equating to shallowness and bad intentions. I know there are a lot of gay/gnc girls that like me had similar misogynistic hang ups because of gender non conformity and that really sucks!

As such I think it’s really cool when movies subvert the blonde bitch trope. To some extent, Clueless did this, but I think a better example is Legally Blonde. Elle Woods is clearly ambitious and hard working, but she’s also a feminine pretty blonde woman. And she is absolutely the hero of her story, and she is able to succeed due to a combination of her femininity and her ambition without having to compromise either!

What, like it’s hard?

Allow women to be feminine and ambitious and written like heros!

[cries4spiderman]

THERE IS A FONT THAT IS DESIGNED TO MAKE U REMEMBER EVERYTHING

I don’t usually share a whole lot but THIS IS INCREDIBLE 

http://sansforgetica.rmit/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=Sans_Forgetica&utm_content=Launch_Video

[cries4spiderman]

Talking with writers online

Their stories: Amazing grammar, soaring vocabulary, beautiful imagery and prose which flows like a river.

In chats: no capitalisation or punctuation, swears like a sailor, misspellings everywhere, acronyms and abbreviations every five words, idek

[cries4spiderman]

heres a TOTALLY BLANK image!! there is DEFINITELY NO REASON for u to click it!!!!!!!!! NOT AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!

[cries4spiderman]

.

[cries4spiderman]

I Might Have Found A Discrepancy In The Shrek Universe.

So you know how in Shrek 2 during the most amazing cover of all time Mongo was born?

Yeah. Well, I was curious to see how long it would take to actually bake, cool, decorate, and make alive a Mongo in real life. Would Shrek and Gingy have enough time to save Fiona from Prince Charming and the Fairy Godmother with Mongo at their side?

Here’s how I figured it out.

So Shrek is originally seven feet tall.

But when he takes the Happily Ever After potion, he shrinks a bit. Let’s say… a foot. Shrek is now six feet tall. That’s a good, measurable number. I drew it out in proportion to Mongo here:

So from his shoulder to his mouth, Mongo is about six feet (I added a bit extra here because Shrek is bent over a little because giant gingerbread monster footsteps can be jarring and you need to brace your body for impact). Now, I couldn’t find a full body picture or character model of Mongo, but I could find one of Gingy. They do have the same proportions.

Here’s the model I used. He’s a bit bent, but I made do. Using MS Paint again, I measured about six feet on this model if it were Mongo sized.

Now using the line tool, I measured the space between the two lines and made new lines according to where the space ended. Here’s the final result:

So this is about 12 lines worth of space. The top of his head didn’t make it another six feet, so let’s say it’s three feet. Plug 12.5 and 6 into the calculator in and…

Mongo is 75 feet tall. Add that to your fan wikis.

Now let’s look at Gingy’s size. We need to know how many Gingies make a Mongo. Looking at the picture again, Gingy is a little smaller than Shrek’s head.

So if we look up the size of the average head, we get…

About nine inches. Let’s just say nine. Nine inches is 0.75 feet.

It takes 100 Gingies to make one Mongo. Assuming Gingy is the same size as an average gingerbread man that Muffin Man makes, let’s assume further and say he’s an average gingerbread man.

I found this snip from this recipe by the Food Network. Since Gingy is nine inches tall, we need to tweak this a bit.

If my calculations are correct and I’m not a fool, each batch makes four cookies. We would need 25 batches to make a Mongo. That’s 75 cups flour, 25 teaspoons baking soda, 18 ¾ teaspoons ground cinnamon and ground ginger, 12 ½ teaspoons ground allspice, ground cloves, and salt, 6 ¼ teaspoon milled black pepper (for whatever reason), 25 sticks of butter, 6 ¼ cups of room temperature vegetable shortening, 12 ½ cups packed light brown sugar, 16 2/3 cups of molasses, and 25 large eggs! Jesus, now the Muffin Man’s in crippling debt. And that’s just the cookie part!

Assuming this humble, gentle soul makes his own icing, he would need 25 pounds of confectioners’ sugar, 50 tablespoons of dried egg-white powder he would have to dry himself, and 150 tablespoons of water. I feel so sorry for this man.

Not to mention, Far Far Away can’t possibly sell gumdrops that big, so he’d have to melt them down, build a giant bowl of some sort, wait for them to solidify, take them out as to not damage them, and sprinkle sugar on them before animating his giant, expensive monster.

The melting point of gumdrops, I could not find. But I assume they have a slightly higher melting point than, say syrup sap. And it might also stick horrifically to any pan. So we need an open flame, like a bonfire, and we need it hot enough to melt the gumdrops inside of a big enough bowl. Something like pictured here from Little House In The Big Woods:

So we would need one or two of these set up. Thankfully, our boy Muffin Man lives in a place with quite a few trees. 

They are a little ways off, though. Chopping one down, getting chains to propel the pot up, and starting a dangerously hot fire as well as stirring quite close to it would take for ever. And melting that many gumdrops would take forever. So would cooling them.

Now onto the actual bake time. Shrek does take place in what I presume to be Midevil Germany, judging by the architecture, clothing, and art style in the books. Though it has many modern conveniences, such as fast food and concert lighting/sound systems.

So I assume that even a somewhat seemingly poor/lower middle class single baker dude can afford a good oven. Let’s say this type of oven.

Now this is a pretty small oven. How could Muffins possibly create a 75-foot gingerbread man with this small of an oven? It’s impossible. He would have to bake him piece by piece, then somehow paste him all together. And he wouldn’t see a single penny of his back breaking work! Shrek never paid him, and Mongo ended up a soggy mess in the bottom of a river anyway, so all of that time, energy, money, work was all for nothing!

And no, I’m not acknowledging Shrek The 3rd.

Anyway suppose he did paste Mongo piece by piece. How long would it take for him to bake each piece? Let’s look at his model again.

Splitting up the model into head, upper torso, mid torso, left and right arm/hand/leg/shin/foot, and lower torso, we get something like this:

These can sit in the oven more easily. If we break it in half it would be easier.

There we go. If we make twice the amount of icing we need, then we can paste him back together, like Humpty Dumpty.

Wait…

It’s almost as if Dreamworks wanted someone to do this. Huh.

Anyway, going back to the Food Network recipe. How long does it take for a Mongo to cook? According to the article, it’s about ten minutes. So let’s just say ten minutes. Multiply that by 25, you’ve got 250 minutes in the oven, or a little over four hours to bake an entire Mongo.

It takes 5 minutes to cool a batch. so that’s 150 minutes, or a little over two hours. That’s six hours to bake and cool a Mongo.

So about saving Fiona…

It’s not happening. An oven like the one Muffins has cannot be hot enough to bake it and make it cook enough to not burn nor be raw in enough time to still get to the castle and save Fiona. Especially after mixing each batch, making the giant gumdrops, icing gluing, giving life, baking time, and cooling time. Just by estimating, mixing all that stuff together could take, like, an hour at the most. Plus the gumdrop issue; I wouldn’t be surprised if it took two and a half hours. Don’t forget giving Mongo life. I would expect another two and a half hours since an electric spark of Mary Shelly proportions can be made in a somewhat modern home with the right equipment, but Muffins probably has to make/go out to get the right equipment. (That’s how I remember Mongo being alive correct me if I’m wrong).

Add all of that up, and that’s 12 hours.

TWELVE HOURS.

That’s over 202 times of playing Shrek’s cover of “I Need A Hero.” That’s like playing Shrek 2 in full over eight times. Basically, Fiona is doomed and Shrek should have used a carriage ordering service.

TLDR; Shrek 2 is impossible and Mongo takes a lot of time and effort to make.

[cries4spiderman]

it’s 2019, let’s make it not okay to make fun of teenage girls when they bleed through their clothes on their periods.

[cries4spiderman]

I understand the argument that Tony having Morgan right after the Snap seems out of character… except I never once thought that Tony and Pepper were like, “So, half the universe is gone and I just lost the kid who was basically a son to me… better get started on a replacement.” I’ve always assumed that Pepper was either already pregnant when they had that conversation in IW but didn’t know it, or Morgan was an accident baby (for lack of a better term) who was conceived, but not necessarily intended, right after the Snap.

That seems a lot more in-character to me. I bet a lot of mixed feelings came with finding out Pepper was pregnant. I bet there was a clash of joy and devastation and “this can’t happen” mixed with “this has to happen.” I’m sure it was an extremely conflicting time for Tony especially.

And then Morgan came and she was what helped Tony pull himself out of that pit of grief and despair, whether he wanted to or not. Because he had to step up and take care of his daughter, even in the face of his grief.

[cries4spiderman]

Vader, the ultimate villain in the history. He created a new level of badassery for all the bad guys in the world and soon he became our beloved daddy. Given that he’s my favorite character, I thought to make my

Top 10 of Vader’s canon moment.

(I’ll be very sintetic or this post won’t end lol) Warning spoiler!

Number 10:

“Skywalker”

Vader finds out that the man who blew up the Death Star, Is his own son… Right after that, the cyborg must have revenge against Palpatine and he must become the new Emperor!

Darth Vader #6 (2015)

Number 9:

“The negotiator”

Our OG rebels are on a mission, untill the Dark Lord shows up. Here we have very cool moments like: Vader faceing Luke for the first time, Vader crushing an At-At just with the Force and Vader realising that the boy is Obi Wan last hope.

Star Wars #1-4 (2015)

Number 8:

“Hunter”

Vader Is after Luke and when the young boy takes him down, the Sith will have to face all the rebellion by himself and some old ghosts.

Vader Down (2015)

Number 7:

“Sweet dreams”

The battle of Mustafar hunts Vader, in every nightmare. But if he could have his revenge, this time, he would be prepared.

Darth Vader #14 (2017)

Number 6:

“World between worlds”

Down his fortress, Vader enter in a gateway to a world, where the Force opens doors to other times and places. He can see and hear his past, his present and his future. Here we’ll have the confirm that Palpatine was involved in the birth of Anakin and this Is where the former Jedi looses again his beloved Padmé.

Darth Vader #25 (2017)

Number 5:

“Vader vs Ghost team”

The Spectres are about to escape from Lothal but when they were just few steps from their ship, Vader’s trap triggers.

We all know what happend next…

Star Wars: Rebels (2x1)

Number 4:

“Long awaited meeting”

After years (and a real badass entry), Vader finally face her former padawan, Ahsoka Tano, in an epic conclusion.

Star Wars: Rebels (2x22)

Number 3:

“Hallway scene”

There isn’t too much to say about It…

Rogue One: A Star Wars story

Number 2:

“Darth Vader first breath”

After his defeat on Mustafar, for Vader there Is only pain, suffering and his new Empire.

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Number 1:

“Duel on Cloud City”

Luke goes to Bespin to save his friends but there he will find something far more freightening… The revelation that changed the world.

“The Force Is with you young Skywalker… But you are not a Jedi yet…”

Star Wars Episode V: Empire Strikes Back

What are your favorite moment from Star Wars? Wich Is your favorite character?? Let me know!!

[cries4spiderman]

Alright. I’m gonna do this now. It’s 4:30 am, I am sleep deprived, emotional, and I should be sleeping, but I’m not, and earlier Avengers Endgame played for the last time in the theater in my town, and I wasn’t there for it.

I’m gonna put it like this: I kinda had a mini break down when I realized Endgame was playing for the last time as I sat on my bed writing. I know it has been over a month since the movie came out, and since I have seen it, but I was hit full force with the full on brutal reality that Tony Stark is gone. Endgame is still playing other places, but for me he is gone. I won’t see him on the big screen again. I won’t get any new content. I won’t get any more press tours. The MCU that I knew, loved, and bitched about for the last 11 years is over and ended. No more Tony Stark. No more OG6. An 11 year journey is over. Just like Tony said: Part of the journey is the end. In a few weeks a new journey will start, with Peter Parker/ Tom Holland at the helm. A new journey for younger fans to grow up with an love. Don’t get me wrong, I love Tom/Peter and I look forward to what comes next, but what comes next isn’t MY marvel, and they won’t be the characters that I grew up with. It won’t be the characters that I built friendships on. It won’t be the characters I write stories about (for the most part). My Marvel, my era of movies that changed my life died with Tony Stark. In the literal sense that is.

^^all that was rather down in the dumps^^ I am going to attempt to make this a little better now.

My Marvel that I knew and grew up with may be in the ground in the literal sense, but it is always going to be with me. Tony Stark will always be there as the greatest most influential fictional character I have ever come across, and had the pleasure of loving. The MCU (the infinity saga) will always be what I grew up with, and I will always be grateful for it for getting me through shit, helping me, giving me something to look forward too every year. It will always be the reason I have the friends that I have today. My MCU may have died with Tony Stark, but let me say this: Tony Stark a very fictional character that was brought to life in a very real way, and impacted my life and the lives of countless other people in a VERY REAL WAY. RDJ and his performance/ portrayal made Tony a lot less fictional (as stated earlier) and a lot more real. My love for Tony Stark guided me to my love for RDJ and that… let me tell you that man’s story… it REALLY helped me do and over come things that I probably would not have other wise done and overcome. Tony may have been fictional by technical definition, but his impact was very very VERY real. The character may be dead but he left behind a legacy, and that legacy is going to live on for a very long time. We are all that legacy. We are what keep him alive in th figurative sense.

So to tie it all up with a nice bow:

The era over. The saga has come to a close. The journey has ended. The story has told its last. But that doesn’t make it go away. That doesn’t mean it never happened. The Avengers that I grew with and love. The ones who pulled me through. They are resting now. They are resting in a place where no one (short of God) can take them away. They are resting in my heart where they have all the love they deserve. They may have left the big screen never to return again, but they didn’t leave me, and I will make sure they never do. As dramatic as it may sound they have become part of me.

So to FINALLY close off this rant:

Here’s to My Avengers!

Here’s to the journey they took me on!

Here’s to what I was given!

Here’s to what I shall keep!

Here’s to 11 years of my life!

Here’s to the end of the journey!

Here’s to the memories that’ll never never die!

Here’s to Tony Stark!

Here’s to Natasha Romanov!

Here’s to Steve Rogers!

Here’s Thor!

Here’s to Bruce Banner!

Here’s to Clint Barton!

Here’s to good bye!

And here’s to remembering for ever!

Thank you OG6 for everything, and good bye. I will keep you in my heart always. You can’t die there. Just rest and never be forgotten.

And now it is 5:00 AM, so I am going to get my much needed sleep.

And finally here’s to the future and what ever it may hold!

[cries4spiderman]

good evening I utterly despise nerds

[cries4spiderman]

i think the fact that my eyes dont glow and my hair doesnt float when im feeling a lot of strong emotion is very unsexy of me

[cries4spiderman]

wow i love robert downey jr.

[cries4spiderman]

Fucking preach! Can we say this to our freaking lawmakers? Cuz they need to fucking learn

so someone posted on their story that they didn’t like [artist]’s music

& i like their music, so i asked them why

they told me it was too low tempo, just kind of sad and boring. i gave them a couple songs that were more exciting, but they told me they’d heard them before and [artist] was just not their thing.

“oh well,” i said. “agree to disagree.”

“yep,” they replied, and we moved on.

if someone said “hey, i don’t think [x] people deserve rights” we would have argued. i would have fought for my side, because it’s important and it matters. whether or not you like [artist]’s music is really just an opinion.

you can’t say “oh,, that’s just my opinion” in a debate about a whole ass group of people’s rights. that is the difference.

[cries4spiderman]

So if 2023 Tony snapped 2014 Thanos out of existence does that mean there’s a timeline there where Thanos ceased to exist after 2014 and thus there was a fat chance that Ultron couldn’t have happened if the ultimate fear that Wanda used to show in Tony’s mind became non existent, and even if it still happened and so did Civil War, there couldn’t ever be an Infinity War, this san Thanos timeline would have Thor landed the Asgardian ship back on Earth with everyone intact, starting a new life on Earth, while the Avengers were working on the Accords to ensure the rights of both the public and the heroes, Tony was handing out his wedding invitation and everyone’s breathe was taken away when Pepper walked down the aisle then a year later Peter became a big brother to baby Morgan they all live happily ever after the end.

[cries4spiderman]

Did Tony really have to… Be physically present to snap his fingers? Like couldnt’ve he remotely controlled his suit like he did in Iron Man 3 and make it snap its fingers? His mind would’ve be connected to it anyway.

Imagine the scene. Tony’s Iron Man mask is on, so we don’t know he’s not inside it. We assume he’s inside it. We believe it, we have no doubt about it because we’re fools. When he installs the stones on his own gauntlet, the suit starts very slowly breaking down. “I am Iron Man”, Tony says, snaps the fingers, and the suit finally gives up, falling on the floor.

Thanos and his army are vanished. Everyone gathers around Tony, Pepper and Peter fall on the floor, start crying. Rhodey puts his hand on the mask, removes it and -

No Tony.

So they’re all confused, we’re all confused and panicked because what, has Tony vanished too now? We didn’t even have a goodbye? And then -

“Ugh, right here? Behind you. The man on the floor with his hand in the air? Hi. I’m pretty knocked out, if someone could give me a hand-”

They all turn and spot Tony. When they all reach him, Pepper kneels next to him. “Oh my god, I thought you were dead.”

Tony supports himself on his elbows with difficulty. “Yeah, I thought this through. If there was really one” - he holds a finger up in the air and looks up to Strange, who smiles - “chance, and that one chance was me doing it, then I wasn’t gonna die doing it.”

Thor laughs, both softly and nervously at first, then it’s a big, open laugh. “Ha. Ha ha ha. Shall we all go eat shawarma now?”

Tony drops his head back on the floor, too exhausted. But he smiles. “I think I have a better idea.”

And the next scene, instead of being a funeral, is a wedding.

(Don’t judge me, I don’t care if this would’ve worked or not, I’m still trying to cope. Gotta work on getting Natasha back too though.)