criminalmaya

[criminalmaya]

Alyssa Monks | Charles Bukowski 

[criminalmaya]

[criminalmaya]

[criminalmaya]

i think one of the best parts about being a teenager in the early to mid 2010s was that cigarettes were definitely not cool anymore and vapes hadn’t popularized yet so my lungs made it out of my peak impressionable years relatively unscathed

[criminalmaya]

Are you becoming what you've always hated?

Isle of Dogs / Game of Thrones / Painting by Jenn Mazza / Unknown / Ancestral Memory by Hari Alluri / Unknown / Venetta Octavia / Emma Tranter / Unknown / Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo / @ machineryangel

[criminalmaya]

Jancy come home 😭

[criminalmaya]

keep thinking about those screenshots of buck's house after bobby died. no flowers. no one sent him flowers because it wasn't his dad who died, not really. just like chris leaving wasn't his son leaving, not really. eddie going to texas wasn't his partner leaving, not really. buck occupies all of these spaces unofficially and he knows who he is to them but when they leave he's always, always left with nothing. again. most important relationships of his life and he's empty-handed and wondering if he'd imagined it all in the first place.

[criminalmaya]

god i just want season nine to have Eddie so fucking cuckoo bananas over Buck, in general and also while Buck is withdrawing from him in an effort to get over him. i want Eddie to be so pathetic about Buck. i want him losing his mind every time Buck is out of sight. i want him C L I N G I N G to Buck. he’s always at his side. he’s always asking “you seen Buck?” if he’s gone more than thirty seconds without Buck in his line of sight. i want him planning little day trips to take Buck on for their days off. i want him inventing literally any excuse possible to get Buck to spend time at his house. i want him pursuing Buck while being so hideously, wretchedly, beautifully in love that it’s bleeding out of him with every word and glance and touch. i want to see him so in love that Buck doesn’t know what hit him.

[criminalmaya]

i need eddie waking up in a hospital room with buck sitting in a chair and holding eddie’s hand pressed to his mouth. by the way

[criminalmaya]

hmm currently thinking about how Buck recognized Eddie’s nice cologne when he was going on a date. and im also thinking about maybe Eddie asking if Buck wants to go to that new fancy restaurant everyone’s been talking about but Buck didn’t want to go to alone, since he’s single rn and just. not feeling up to dating. he’s sharing Eddie’s house still, now that Eddie and Chris are back, and he’s kinda maybe stopped talking about moving out because it feels so, so good to be under the same roof with two of his favorite people. he hasn’t been to any apartment viewings in ages, and Eddie isn’t asking him about them, so he feels like maybe he can just. stay here a little longer. until he gets the vibe that it’s time to move out (as if that’d ever happen. every morning Eddie walks into the kitchen to find Buck cooking at the stove and Eddie’s coffee already sitting on the island, made exactly how he likes it, Eddie feels just. so unbelievably happy. he can’t confront why yet, but he’ll get there. he will. Bobby—who is alive!!—told him he has time, bc Buck isn’t going anywhere. he’s staying right here with Eddie)

so Eddie asks if Buck wants to go to the new fancy restaurant, and of course Buck says yes (and he’s definitely not calling it a date in his head, bc he knows that’s not what it is: Eddie is straight, after all, and he’s just doing this romantic thing with Buck because that’s just how their friendship works. it doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else), so Eddie says “great, i’ll pick you up at seven,” and Buck just laughs and pretends not to notice Eddie’s cherry-red cheeks. it’s probably just the heat anyway, so Buck turns on the air conditioning. and he spends the day doing busy work so he doesn’t have to think about tonight, even though it’s all he ends up thinking about: what he should wear, how he should do his hair, which aftershave he should put on. because this isn’t a date—Eddie is straight!—but it is a fancy restaurant and Buck doesn’t want to stand out like a sore thumb. so in the end he does dress nice, and he does style his hair, and he does put on his best aftershave, and if Eddie later remarks on it Buck will just point out that Bobby (who is alive!!) told him he should dress to the nines because it’s a fancy restaurant (and who cares if Bobby kinda insinuated it’s a date. it’s not. Eddie is straight!) and Chris helped Buck pick out the right tie and it turned into a little lesson of Buck showing Chris how to tie a tie like Bobby once showed him, so Chris ties Buck’s tie for him and Buck definitely gets a little misty eyed oops

anyway then Buck’s turn in the bathroom is done but he makes sure that Eddie doesn’t see him after he gets dressed bc for some reason he really wants his appearance to be a surprise, so he’s hiding out in the kitchen while Eddie does his thing in the bathroom. Chris is in there with him, and Buck can hear the low rumble of their voices but he purposefully doesn’t listen. (and when it gets too tempting to try to eavesdrop on their conversation, he turns on the garbage disposal)

then Chris steps out of Eddie’s bedroom and says “have fun tonight!” with a waggle of his brows that Buck tries not to recognize from his own damn face (Chris isn’t his kid! however much Buck loves him! no matter that Chris asked Buck if he could go to the park this morning and Buck said yes and gave him cash for the taco truck he and his friends like for lunch and told him to be back by six, and it was only after Chris left that Buck realized he probably should have told him to ask Eddie, seeing as how Eddie is his dad and Buck is…his Buck, so Buck hurried to tell Eddie—who was out in the backyard working on his herb garden, bc his sisters got him into gardening while he was in El Paso—and Eddie just nodded and barely looked up when Buck rambled about where Chris was going, and it’s strange that Eddie isn’t at all concerned or upset but Buck isn’t gonna question that bc he doesn’t want to ruin the vibe of the date that isn’t a date tonight) and Buck’s facing the sink so his back is to the kitchen doorway but then he hears Eddie stop, and it’s quiet for a moment and Buck pretends he can’t feel Eddie’s eyes on him, lets Eddie believe that Buck hasn’t noticed his arrival, and besides he knows Eddie is probably just making sure his slacks aren’t stained with soap bc Buck is going a little nuts on a dirty coffee mug that Eddie used to house a worm until he could find a better place for the worm to live than a flower pot

and then Eddie clears his throat and says, “you look good, Buck,” attempting to be casual, but his voice gives him away: a little raspy, Buck’s name wrapped in heat and affection that Buck knows is just his imagination going wild. and so Buck licks his lips and says, “thanks, Eddie,” like they do this all the time (do they?! Buck feels like he would know if they do this all the time, but then again, so much of his life with Eddie is rote that he barely notices when they’re holding hands in a crowded room so they don’t get lost until he realizes they forgot to ever let go and now they’re holding hands while Chim and Hen see to a patient who called 911), and Eddie asks “you ready?” and Buck breathes in—

and he knows that cologne. it’s Eddie’s nice cologne. the cologne he only ever wears on dates.

—and Buck breathes out.

[criminalmaya]

EDDIE DIAZ WEEK 2025 Day 3: Hair

[criminalmaya]

So AO3 and Tumblr are now dating, I guess?

[criminalmaya]

Eddie Diaz Week 2025: Day 1 relationships - familial/platonic: Eddie & Carla & Christopher

People who love each other are connected by an invisible string made of love

[criminalmaya]

just one of those days you know

[criminalmaya]

cats and libraries ۫ ꣑ৎ

[criminalmaya]

i want devices that are functional and hardy and i want them to last and fuck the rest of the shit i dont need. my ds and 3ds can lie in sleep mode for months if not years and i can pop them open and they've still got two or three bars left. my old phones in high school could go days without a charge. if i leave my nintendo switch on the floor for a few days doing absolutely fuck all nothing i will turn it on and it will cry to me mother i am dying. i am dying mother. and i tell him he'll never be half the man his brother was and he can't hear me because he's dead

[criminalmaya]

living next to a body of water never gets old. I don't think it even matters if its the ocean or a lake or a little creek or whatever. lizard brain sees big pond and lights up instantly and says "perfect, we will zone out in front of this for 15-30 minutes and go home refreshed."