i’m queer and this is where i shout about it. they/them or it/its pronouns. use them or perish
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
crimisonpetrichor · 4 hours ago
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when i tell you i had an aneurysm
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crimisonpetrichor · 4 hours ago
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Fuck you *migrates to another environment and evolves entirely new characteristics over thousands of years*
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crimisonpetrichor · 7 days ago
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The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.
Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.
So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.
Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.
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crimisonpetrichor · 7 days ago
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crimisonpetrichor · 7 days ago
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This came to me in a fuckin dream….
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crimisonpetrichor · 8 days ago
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crimisonpetrichor · 9 days ago
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all that said the guy with my car insurance company who answered the phone was so fucking funny. he had a heavy Georgia accent which endeared me to him immediately and he was sooo worried about me and apologetic that there was no one to send to my aid and I said "that's okay. if i end up missing though they're gonna interview you as the last person who heard from me. what if there's a documentary?" and he said "ooooooo, can I start drama?" I said, "well, what kind?" And he said, "I'm gonna tell them you said you saw a green flash in the sky over the field and I heard strange voices then the line went dead."
genuinely obsessed with him to this very day.
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crimisonpetrichor · 9 days ago
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UNDERTALE is finally here.
In this jRPG, you don’t have to kill anyone. Instead, you can make friends with your enemies.
About 5-6 hours long. No grinding. No fetch quests. With random encounters that will make you smile instead of screaming. And the soundtrack contains 70+ tracks worth of music by “Toby Fox” of Homestuck fame.
Please check it out. http://undertale.com
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crimisonpetrichor · 9 days ago
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when i talk shit about golfing, please know that none of it is about mini golf. it could never be about her. she's done nothing wrong in her entire life. god's perfect little putt putt.
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crimisonpetrichor · 9 days ago
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they should invent a bus that never gets stuck in traffic because it's on its own path separated from the roads. and then chain multiple of them together and put it on rails. has anyone had this idea before.
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crimisonpetrichor · 9 days ago
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I think this is the funniest onion headline bar none
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crimisonpetrichor · 13 days ago
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I'm sorry your parents named you Philip ☹ I could name you something better
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crimisonpetrichor · 13 days ago
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I love this gif because you can see him look around for aproval and the get really sad and anxious upon not getting any
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crimisonpetrichor · 13 days ago
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listening to phil collins
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crimisonpetrichor · 13 days ago
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This is going to sound so "oldie yells at cloud" of me but the radicalisation of the young into black and white, zero shades of grey thinking, both in the media they consume and in real life situations, is genuinely terrifying.
The world is complex. The world is grey. There is infinite nuance in everything. No amount of trying to shove it all into neatly labeled boxes is ever going to work.
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crimisonpetrichor · 13 days ago
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crimisonpetrichor · 13 days ago
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