crimson-host

[crimson-host]

Neo: (Text) Hey there, handsome...

Jaune: (Text) Who is this?

Jaune: Wait...

Jaune: NEOPOLITAN?!

Neo: I'm horny. Cum over.

Jaune: I can't! I have a girlfriend!

Neo: Bring her, too.

[crimson-host]

Out of Touch

[crimson-host]

"THE MEETING" _ wip sketch Fanart/fan comics: Hazbin Hotel by Amazon / Spindlehorse / Vivziepop. Sorry for the grammatical mistakes, and don't hesitate to tell me if the dialogues sound strange, I'm trying to improve my english! Anyway, this afternoon I relized I wasn't convinced by the meeting in the series, I think the confrontation is a bit forced and devoid of real convincing speeches. So I tried to rewrite a part of the episode. What do you think? Are Vaggie and Charlie convincing enough in this version? Would you listen to them or did you prefere the Amazon writing?

[crimson-host]

Yang technically fails the Adrian test because she refuses to give him back.

[crimson-host]

The Neckwear

Jaune: Uhh… W-Weiss…?

Weiss: Yes?

Jaune: You're still… you forgot, you're still wearing your collar.

Weiss: No, I didn't.

Jaune: Oh...

Jaune: Okay…

[crimson-host]

Jaune: Hey Yang, what are you eating?

Yang: Some chicken nuggets, why?

Jaune: Cuz I got a good joke about chicken. Wanna hear it?

Yang: Hm, try me.

Jaune: What did the chicken say to the other, when their corn was stolen?

Yang: ...I don't actually know.

Jaune: They said; "We need the feedback!"

Yang: ...

Jaune: G-Get it? Cuz feed...is chicken feed? Yang?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yang's brain: Hm...do I kiss him, carry him away, claim he's mine, or all of the above?

. . .

Yang's brain: Oh, we all know where this is going anyways.

Y O L O!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jaune: Yang?

Yang: Yes, I will have you marry me.

Jaune: What?

[crimson-host]

Jaune: Hey Yang, what are you eating?

Yang: Some chicken nuggets, why?

Jaune: Cuz I got a good joke about chicken. Wanna hear it?

Yang: Hm, try me.

Jaune: What did the chicken say to the other, when their corn was stolen?

Yang: ...I don't actually know.

Jaune: They said; "We need the feedback!"

Yang: ...

Jaune: G-Get it? Cuz feed...is chicken feed? Yang?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yang's brain: Hm...do I kiss him, carry him away, claim he's mine, or all of the above?

. . .

Yang's brain: Oh, we all know where this is going anyways.

Y O L O!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jaune: Yang?

Yang: Yes, I will have you marry me.

Jaune: What?

[crimson-host]

[crimson-host]

When you're trying to look cool but your wife just wants to give you kisses

[crimson-host]

Saphron subjects Neo to the Adrian Test while Jaune gets groceries.

[crimson-host]

Shark onsie supremacy

(From: Dead Mount Death Play)

Shark Teeth

Jaune was sitting at a library desk, working on a join project with, Weiss. He was tired from all the work he was doing, so he let loose a tired yawn, when...

Jaune: Yawwwwwwww...ERK?!

Weiss: Whoaaa....

Jaune: Yiss... wha ar ehh doin?

Weiss: You have shark teeth...?

Jaune: Ehhs.

Weiss: Are you a shark faunas?

Jaune: Ehh's dat a hobrlem?

Weiss: No, no well... not at all... It's not a problem at all! D-Do you mind if I ask you some questions?

Jaune: Illa ya reoove yer annd irst?

Weiss: Ahh?! Soryysorrysorry!

Jaune: Ahh?! Okay, why did shove your hand into my mouth?

Weiss: Oh, I s-saw your teeth, and I was surprised that they were shark teeth.

Jaune: Are you upset by that?

Weiss: What, no not at all, why do you ask?

Jaune: You're not upset I'm a faunas?

Weiss: No, a little upset since you didn't tell me, any of us that you were a faunas.

Jaune: My teammates know. I just never brought it up to others. Never cared to tell other people since they'll only know I'm a faunas if they see my teeth.

Weiss: I see... Have you lost teeth like normal sharks do?

Jaune: And, have them grow back? Yep, that's has happened before. I'm regrowing some right now; See?

Weiss: Whoa... Wait? Those shark tooth necklaces you gave your teammates... Those were from your mouth?!

Jaune: Yep. I made a side hustle selling my teeth in jewelry online, they learned about it, and demanded some of my of my merchandise.

Weiss: ...

Weiss: C-Can I have one too...?

Jaune: A shark tooth necklace?

Weiss: Yes!

Jaune: Sure, I can do that for you. Do you want to see my merchandise?

Weiss: That's wonderful! I really like sharks! I have all sort of shark plushies at home, I even have a shark onesie too!

Jaune: Oh...? You like sharks, and have a shark onesie? That's adorable!

Weiss: It... It is...?

Jaune: Yeah, I can imagine you holding a shark plushie while curled up in bed. Sounds adorable. Makes you seem more... more human.

Weiss: More human? Well... I suppose that makes sense... I do have a standoffish air about me. Can I ask you one more question?

Jaune: Sure.

Weiss: Does... does blood effect you? Like, does it send you into a blood rage, or something?

Jaune: Oh, well... I've ingested animal blood before... I got into that blood frenzy before; Ripped that poor deer to bits... I've had human, and faunas blood before. Male blood is rather disgusting, made me throw up after ingesting it.

Weiss: And, female blood?

Jaune: Uhhh... Well... It's made me rather... energetic...

Weiss: Energetic?

Jaune: Yeah, energetic... let's just put it like that...

Weiss: Oh, so what would happen if I did this...?

Jaune: Did what?

Weiss then pushed her finger into, Jaune's mouth again, he was going to ask her what she was doing, but he felt her run her finger across his tooth, and then he tasted it.

Blood.

Weiss blood.

It tasted sweet, and delectable. But, as the taste of her blood flooded into his senses she removed her finger from his mouth. Jaune watched as a deep blush spread across her face as she looked on at him wanting.

Jaune: ...

Jaune: You're going to regret that, Weiss...

Weiss: H-How am I going to regret that, Jaune...?

Jaune: It depends...

Weiss: On what?

Jaune: How bad you're limp will be~!

Weiss: I don't know, but it will be worth it~!

Jaune: Well then, Weiss; It seems like there's blood in the water, and the sharks have tasted it... you ready for the hunt to begin, Weiss?

Weiss: Always~!

[crimson-host]

A Self-Care Ruby... �� 🌙

Jaune: You've been laying there for seventeen hours, Ruby.

Are you sure you okay?

Ruby: I'm having a self-care day. 🌈

Jaune: Oh. You need anything?

Ruby: Bring me twelve more pillows and chocolate chip cookies. And keep it coming. 🍪

A few days later...

Ruby: *Baking Choco chip cookies*

Jaune: Hey Ruby. Are you doing okay?

I haven't seen you take a "self-care day in a while?

Ruby: Oh Yeah!

So. It turns out staying in bed for days wasn't actually self care.

Turns out I was SUPER DEPRESSED...

Like CLINICALLY... 😢

Jaune: Oh, that's suck.

But hey, you seems to be doing good lately.

Ruby: Yeah I'm trying my best.😚

Jaune: That's so cool, Ruby. I'm proud of you.

Ruby: Thank U. 🥰

Jaune: Well, Ruby if you need anything don't hesitate to ask.

Ruby:

Funny you should ask.

Jaune... I'm going to need you to take me and nail me to the wall right now. And just shove the entire thing there. 😋

Jaune: *gasp*

But Ruby. You can't take my entire length inside of you.

It will kill you.

Ruby: Jaune I just figured out that the cure for depression is to be constantly horny. You wouldn't want me to be depressed again do you? 😏

Jaune: But still, Ruby. I can accidentally tear you in half.

Ruby: That's a chance I'm willing to take... 😤

Spoiler:

She cannot take the entire length...

[crimson-host]

Percussive Maintenance

Jaune: The signal on this radio just won't come in.

Ruby: *Smacks the radio*

Jaune: *Look in awe as the radio starts working perfectly* Are you magic?

Ruby: Nah, it's just a bit of percussive maintenance. Sometimes something just need a solid hit to get everything back in order.

Jaune: ...Do you think that would work on me?

Ruby: Nah, I have to do daily oral maintenance to fix you.

Jaune: Oh yeah, that makes- wait, what?

[crimson-host]

method actor this method actor that. toshiro mifune played a guy getting shot at by arrows by getting shot at by arrows

and yeah i believe it. ^ this is the face of a guy getting shot at by arrows

[crimson-host]

All I Want For Christmas is You.

Jessica: I don't want a lot for Christmas there is just one thing I need.

Ruby: I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree.

Weiss: I just want you for my own more than you could ever know.

All three: Make my wish come true all I want for Christmas is you.

Jessica: I don't want a lot for Christmas there is just one thing I need (And I) don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree I don't need to hang my stocking there upon the fireplace (Ah) Santa Claus won't make me happy with a toy on Christmas Day I just want you for my own (Ooh) more than you could ever know (Ooh) make my wish come true

All I want for Christmas is you You, baby

Ruby: Oh, I won't ask for much this ChristmasI won't even wish for snow (And I) I'm just gonna keep on waiting underneath the mistletoeI won't make a list and send it to the North Pole for Saint Nick (Ah) I won't even stay awake to hear those magic reindeer click 'Cause I just want you here tonight (Ooh) Holding on to me so tight (Ooh) What more can I do? Oh baby,

all I want for Christmas is you You, baby

Weiss: Oh, all the lights are shining so brightly everywhere (So brightly, baby) and the sound of children's laughter fills the air (Oh, oh yeah) and everyone is singing (Oh yeah) I hear those sleigh bells ringing (Oh)

Santa, won't you bring me the one I really need? (Yeah, oh, oh) won't you please bring my baby to me?

Weiss: Oh, I don't want a lot for Christmas this is all I'm asking for (Ah) I just wanna see my baby standing right outside my door Oh, I just want you for my own (Ooh) more than you could ever know (Ooh) make my wish come true Oh baby,

all I want for Christmas is you

You, baby All I want for Christmas is you, baby All I want for Christmas is you, baby All I want for Christmas is you, baby All I want for Christmas is you, baby All I want for Christmas is you, baby

[crimson-host]

Satsuki 💙✨ || (Spicy version 💓)

[crimson-host]

Jaune got a hot Date🔥 🌹

Jaune: Doo, doo, Doo... 🎵

Yang: Wow someone is in a chipper mood today what's the occasion?

Jaune: He, he. That's because I have a date tonight.

Yang: *gasp* But I thought we have an agreement?...

Jaune: What agreement?

Yang: ASSEMBLE THE COUNCIL OF POLINATED KNIGHT!!!

Jaune: The poli what council?!

Blake: *enters the room*

Hiya! Whenever there are evil and injustices in the world I will be there to stop it. The ninja of love Blake reporting for duty.

Weiss: Slashing evildoers with my blade. The warrior of ice and snow Weiss is here.

Yang: Hah! Master of the fist of fury. Say hello to Yang the blonde bombshell brawler.

Ruby: I'm sorry girls but I don't have time for a council meeting cuz I'm going on a date with Jaune...

Oh cookie crumble.

BWY: *audible gasp*

Judas!

Ruby: Well the cats are out of the bags. Yes I'm going on a date with Jaune.

Yang: Rube how could you? We had a deal. No dating Jaune!

Weiss: You whore! We all agreed not to go after Jaune.

Blake: You are in violation of article v of the council constitution. No one can date Jaune without all the members approval.

Jaune: Wait what do you mean that there's a rule about not dating me and what is this council all of you're talking about?

Ruby: Oh Jaune thinking isn't your strong suit it is cute and all but we should just go on our date okay.

Jaune: But Ruby wait I'm not done asking questions...

*gets dragged out*

Ruby: Oh do please be quiet lover boy and girls please don't stay up late. Because Jaune and I will be staying in a hotel....