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[crimsoune]

A Poetry For The Frontliner

Our heroes, our modern frontliner;

Your hard earned will always be adorn;

Like the stars throughout the night that appears,

Your valor will always be an honor for us to adore.

As you pierce the darkness with your mighty spear;

And protect the people with the will so clear;

You’ve won not only the war but also the people’s burning desire -

The Filipinos wanted desire to together protect and aspire.

[crimsoune]

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For those who also have a hard time differentiating if their favourite story is fiction or nonfiction.

[crimsoune]

TYPOGRAPHY

To be reborn, you must first experience being born only to be burned, to once again transform into something powerful like a storm.

[crimsoune]

Autobiography

Devotion, life force, loyalty, consistency, self-esteem, and passion are the definitions of the name given to me by my parents - Garnett. I was born during a rainy season on August 30, 2004, in the Hospital of Makati. I was born out of wedlock. My parents were too young to start a family and decided to end their relationship afterwards. Hence, my grandmother was the one who raised me throughout my childhood. She was great, my hero and my model. Despite the generational gap, we still live harmoniously. Even without the presence of my parents, love and happiness are still part of my childhood. But, as they say, "For every story, there's an end that marks a new beginning. My grandmother was diagnosed with cancer when I turned five. Due to  that, I relocated to Cavite in my other grandparents. 

When I heard the news of her death, I was devastated. It feels like someone burned me to ashes. At that time, I pondered why a five-year-old child should undergo this trial of purgatory. But still, life  must go on. From then, I continued living with my other grandparents until seven, when my  mother finally settled. As it turns out, my mother  was an OFW. Compared to my grandmother, my mother was more childlike. Or maybe I just matured too early for my age. My relationship with my mother  was complicated at that time. It is not good or bad. But I always feel like I have to build a wall against her. Back then, I want to throw fault on my mother. My emotions blinded me. My feelings accumulated from when my mother  and father separated, my grandmother's  death, and my incomplete family. Still, I  did my best to understand our situation  and slowly tried accepting things.  After  one year of living together, my mother introduced my soon-to-be stepfather. I  was already anxious about being  left behind, but this intensified further.  From then until the age of fifteen, I  was indifferent towards them. I find no reason to be intimate with them if they  will leave me one day.

I faced many problems. But for me, it is not the problem that is hard per se. It was facing those problems alone. And I keep blaming my parents and others for my collapse. I fervently seek out answers that I already know deep inside. To avoid the obvious, I immersed myself in studying and various hobbies. I was 16 when I realized I was a failure not because of them but because I chose to be. The Pandemic made me contemplate the things I keep pretending not to see. And that opened my eyes. From the moment I decided to remain the same, the pitiful and loathsome me, I became a loser.  But the Pandemic also enlightened me  that if every story has an ending,  I am sure there is  also a new beginning. Because that is how life is; If a door closes,  another one will open. That is why if life burned you to ashes, be like a phoenix because a phoenix must burn  first before rising. Fast forward to today, I am still racing against life but this time with my family and friends. And I am determined to win this time.