cringethursday - Tumblr blog

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somehow I got 95/20 on an assignment

I hope they never fix it and leave it this way forever

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This has caused great debate among my math friends so I think it needs tumblr's input

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Minnesota’s Giant Rainbow and Leather Pride Flags

June 28, 1998. Both flags measured approximately 50 feet wide and 75 feet long.

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hold on. Was suck him good and hard through his jorts supposed to conjour the image of someone who has an unzipped fly because this entire time I've been imagining someone slurping on wet denim

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A thing I love to do is telling prepper dudes that one of my disaster readiness skills is making stuffed animals. They never get it. Like, my dude, when things get very bad and we're all sharing overcrowded shelters, you're gonna want the power to comfort children. Trust me.

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fatphobia and ableism is so insidious. You can look up like, food, and it'll say "eating a lot of food causes diabetes" and you're like oh dang what? I thought we didn't know the cause of diabetes. So you look up what causes diabetes and it says "we still don't know what causes diabetes" bruh they're just making shit up to give people eating disorders

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people say folks with adhd struggle with "delayed rewards" aka long term goals and as such we tend to focus more on short term rewards. what they don't talk about is that at when we Do accomplish long term goals we don't actually feel anything proportionate to the amount of work we did to achieve it. In my head I suffered for a while and then money spontaneously appeared in my bank account.

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Land cryptids: We think it was probably a wolf with mange.

Sea cryptids: So it turns out there really is a creature of the abyss with glowing skin and fifty-foot barbed tentacles that somehow evaded reliable documentation for several thousand years, but we're going to act like these two cases are equivalent because anecdotal descriptions of its appearance have historically been somewhat inaccurate.

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You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

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So we all know that Tumblr is US-centric. But to what degree? (and can we skew the results of this poll by posting it at a time where they should be asleep?)

Reblog to increase sample size!

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Just saw a post about dolls and how kids play with them, and I remembered that my grandpa, who had real bad alzhiemer's, would buy me and my sisters the same dolls from the dollar store every Friday. It had became a routine for him, and he forgot that he'd already gotten us those toys

So that led to us having a shitton of super cheap barbie knock offs, and my parents could only sneakily return so many

We also had a shitty row boat, because my dad has really bad adhd and no impulse control. He also had no idea how to keep a boat, which meant it immediately filled up nearly to the brim with rain water as it sat next to our driveway for seasons unused

So what's a kid to do with dozens of unwanted barbies and what is basically an above ground pond at this point? I'll tell you

What you do is take those dolls and stick them in the boat very carefully. Then you watch as the seasons change, the temperature gets colder, and the water in the boat freezes as winter takes hold.

You never really forget bringing your mom out to the boat in the dead of winter to show off the homemade river Styx her children have crafted in the backyard, a dozen cheaply made plastic monstrosities carefully positioned to reach up to the surface in a frozen agony

Those dolls stayed in their frozen hell until we finally found someone who would buy the boat, like two years later.

Unfortunately, I cannot remember what the guy's reaction was when he actually came to see it and witnessed the art installation inside

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GBBO: “A s’more is basically just an Italian merengue sandwiched between two ganache-covered digestives”

Americans:

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people born in 2000 should be like 12-14 now. but they’re not. that’s how fucked up our world is now