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[cringey1]

I just need a holiday t-minus 5 months and 8 hours

[cringey1]

[cringey1]

[cringey1]

You just can’t write it

[cringey1]

Whatever you’re doing I hope you’re happy, I hope you feel a weight has been lifted. I hope you’re level headed now and know or at least have an idea of what you need and want. I hope you know I tried, I’ve always tried my very best. I hope you know I loved you and love you with all my heart, I hope you know that I care for you dearly and I wish you nothing but the best.

I hope you know

[cringey1]

I’m so destructive it’s not joke.

It’s crazy all I want is for you to stand up and be accountable. Show me I mean the world to you.

I really need to learn to let you go

[cringey1]

[cringey1]

So this is day one of being apart and it’s so weird a part of me is happy but I’m actually scared that I’m so happy. I’m happy you’re not around and I dunno If that’s bc you’re not around or if it’s bc you’re going to our happy place and you need it. However I have this overwhelming and unsettling feeling in my gut idk I’m not like it, I feel hella anxious but I need to be strong. I need to power through, I need be strong.

I just hope you come back with a better mind, I want you to come back with an action plan of what you want, do you want me? Do you want *****? What are you doin ? Please just sort youre shit out, give me it clean cut, black and white

[cringey1]

Gosh I’m like a broken record but this is me starting the process of letting you go. I just can’t do it. You’re never going to change and this situation doesn’t look like it is either. As I said to you I finally agree we were never fit to last. I am now being more in touch with my emotions, being expressive and yiu, you’re the same person, which without you saying, I think I’m now too much, too much for you to handle. You get uncomfortable, you don’t like or want someone like me to care for you and to show you love bc I know you’ve never had this before. So instead of an embrace, you run. So I need to run In the opposite direction, instead of chasing. The love I have for will die but i know it won’t flatline. It’ll eventually become a steady faint beat and I for one can’t wait for that day to come. I feel like I’m just stuck here, love someone that’s moved on, that’s ok with not having what we had. It hurts, it hurts greatly. So that’s why I need to slowly cut the cord. I know this won’t be easy.

[cringey1]

From the 12th-14th July is always hard.

I wish you were both here

[cringey1]

Another year without you, 15 years. Just wow. I really wish I could have had you a little longer, I wish that we had more time, I really hope im making you proud and I’m so grateful for the time we had.

I hope that as I grow I become like you and and mum. I really do need your strength and fire rn.

I can’t believe my luck, to have had you in my life and you are so incredible. I love and miss you with all my heart.

Until we meet again, rest easy 💜

[cringey1]

[cringey1]

[cringey1]

This is the right time, things are getting better

[cringey1]

Coming to terms with everything now, I do find myself go back to overthinking etc but it’s not as bad. I’m trusting that this is a good thing, moving on and forward is the best way but in time I can’t rush this anymore.

I’m finding it difficult bc I lose whatever I choose I lose. If I stay yes we have a friendship but it’ll never be the same, and If I walk away you’re no longer in my life, which hurts but in time I know the answers will come, I just need to get my head straight.

God I wish I could stop loving you, you’ve moved on, why can’t I?

[cringey1]

My heartbreak playlist consists of abba, Arctic monkeys & kanye 😂

[cringey1]

When you realize you have to cut out the love of your life. That shit hurts hard