critroleantics

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it's always bad for adults to interact with minors, which is why when I was born my mother was positioned at the window and I was birthed down a giant slip n slide that safely transported me to the hospital grounds, where I was quickly accepted and raised by a gang of feral babies who were born under similar circumstances. and that's why my posts are so bad

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things that instantly kill the vibe whenever someone just mentions them:

harry potter

nfts

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bringing this back

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👏 how 👏 many 👏 shrimps 👏 do 👏 you 👏 hgave 👏 to 👏 eat

👏 before 👏 you 👏 srimps 👏 flimp 👏 geep

👏 eeb 👏 ko 👏 freeg 👏 nan 👏 zo 👏 big 👏 zig

👏 shrimps 👏 are 👏 made 👏 of 👏 shrimp

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me and the three other people still active in the dishonored fandom

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so you’re saying half the world was shut down by too many companies using 1 single company’s software so that when it pushed out a faulty update it shut everything down bc of a monopoly. and the update was shoddy because the company, much like a lot of tech companies, tried to replace human workers with bullshit generative AI

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so you’re saying half the world was shut down by too many companies using 1 single company’s software so that when it pushed out a faulty update it shut everything down bc of a monopoly. and the update was shoddy because the company, much like a lot of tech companies, tried to replace human workers with bullshit generative AI

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idk if people on tumblr know about this but a cybersecurity software called crowdstrike just did what is probably the single biggest fuck up in any sector in the past 10 years. it's monumentally bad. literally the most horror-inducing nightmare scenario for a tech company.

some info, crowdstrike is essentially an antivirus software for enterprises. which means normal laypeople cant really get it, they're for businesses and organisations and important stuff.

so, on a friday evening (it of course wasnt friday everywhere but it was friday evening in oceania which is where it first started causing damage due to europe and na being asleep), crowdstrike pushed out an update to their windows users that caused a bug.

before i get into what the bug is, know that friday evening is the worst possible time to do this because people are going home. the weekend is starting. offices dont have people in them. this is just one of many perfectly placed failures in the rube goldburg machine of crowdstrike. there's a reason friday is called 'dont push to live friday' or more to the point 'dont fuck it up friday'

so, at 3pm at friday, an update comes rolling into crowdstrike users which is automatically implemented. this update immediately causes the computer to blue screen of death. very very bad. but it's not simply a 'you need to restart' crash, because the computer then gets stuck into a boot loop.

this is the worst possible thing because, in a boot loop state, a computer is never really able to get to a point where it can do anything. like download a fix. so there is nothing crowdstrike can do to remedy this death update anymore. it is now left to the end users.

it was pretty quickly identified what the problem was. you had to boot it in safe mode, and a very small file needed to be deleted. or you could just rename crowdstrike to something else so windows never attempts to use it.

it's a fairly easy fix in the grand scheme of things, but the issue is that it is effecting enterprises. which can have a looooot of computers. in many different locations. so an IT person would need to manually fix hundreds of computers, sometimes in whole other cities and perhaps even other countries if theyre big enough.

another fuck up crowdstrike did was they did not stagger the update, so they could catch any mistakes before they wrecked havoc. (and also how how HOW do you not catch this before deploying it. this isn't a code oopsie this is a complete failure of quality ensurance that probably permeates the whole company to not realise their update was an instant kill). they rolled it out to everyone of their clients in the world at the same time.

and this seems pretty hilarious on the surface. i was havin a good chuckle as eftpos went down in the store i was working at, chaos was definitely ensuring lmao. im in aus, and banking was literally down nationwide.

but then you start hearing about the entire country's planes being grounded because the airport's computers are bricked. and hospitals having no computers anymore. emergency call centres crashing. and you realised that, wow. crowdstrike just killed people probably. this is literally the worst thing possible for a company like this to do.

crowdstrike was kinda on the come up too, they were starting to become a big name in the tech world as a new face. but that has definitely vanished now. to fuck up at this many places, is almost extremely impressive. its hard to even think of a comparable fuckup.

a friday evening simultaneous rollout boot loop is a phrase that haunts IT people in their darkest hours. it's the monster that drags people down into the swamp. it's the big bag in the horror movie. it's the end of the road. and for crowdstrike, that reaper of souls just knocked on their doorstep.

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the statements "clothes don't have gender" and "clothes can and do invoke gender dysphoria and euphoria for many people" can and should coexist.

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New post, gonna use this to document my journey as a trans woman

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I haven't seen this version anywhere so I made one!

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This is how many bullets they shot on a fucking kid.

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Interview with the cheerleader

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For the sake of everyone, all of us who are coming at this news from different backgrounds and experiences, I beg us all to be kind to our fellow fandom members and give everyone the initial benefit of the doubt as we process this news and learn more information in the coming days. People will be furious, they’ll be devastated, they’ll be cynical, they’ll be hopeful. All of these emotions are a valid early response to learning ugly things about the creator of a piece of media that’s incredibly dear to you. Let’s be gentle with one another.

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Didn’t have “Neil Gaiman accused of sexual assault” on my 2024 bingo card, but also not surprised