crownfell-blog - Tumblr blog

[crownfell-blog]

                                       there was a slight awkwardness in the silence between the master and servant as they patrolled around the city.  of course, her servant had no reason why.  artoria the night before had a dream(?)  of what she can only assume was her saber's life.  it was rather mundane, just dinner with a bunch of people.  he seemed so ... happy.  so, why would he agree to be a psudeo-servant?  there had to be a reason.

                                     after the seeming eternity of silence, she looked over at him before speaking up.

                                      " saber.  were you happy in your past life? "  //  @avalonled

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semi-hiatus june 5th - 17th

                           hello!!  i would like to let everyone know my activity will be slow for about 2 weeks!!  i will be heading to a-kon for the weekend, be free that monday and tuesday, and then head on a small vacation for a weekend.  i will probably be on here at night occasionally but i’m not really sure sooo just be aware that is what is happening!  during a-kon if you would like to see my cosplays feel free to follow me on twit.ter ( @heartily ) or even better on my inst.agram ( @himerella ) !!!  you can also always keep in contact with me on discord ( if you would like it, let me know! )

                            i’ll miss you all and i hope you have a wonderful day!!

[crownfell-blog]

‘ you deserve every ounce of happiness. ’

                                her eyes widened a bit, shocked to hear him utter such words.  perhaps it was just how he was, but the saber had always overly kind to the young master ever since she had summoned him.  what a kind and caring heroic spirit... certainly something she would have never expected.  still, to say such a thing...  did he know something about her that she didn't?  or maybe he didn't know enough about her to know that wasn't completely true.  he didn't know of her longing... the feeling like she had completely ruined something, somewhere and the desire to fix it... whatever it was.  

                                 " that...  that is very kind of you to say, saber- "

[crownfell-blog]

‘ stop punishing yourself. please. you don’t deserve it. ’

                        ��       " it's not right for me to let myself off the hook for such a stupid mistake, caster. "

                                    it wasn't like she was trying to punish herself.  the master simply hated letting go of the bad moments.  to her, she needed to remember them so she could learn from them.   was that really a punishment?

                                " don't worry about me.  i'll be okay. "

[crownfell-blog]

✰   —  —  —  LIGHT HEARTED SUGGESTIONS STARTERS

‘  the world is a little happier with you in it.  ’ ‘  i have the right to be happy and i will not let you or anyone else take that from me.  ’ ‘  i’m done apologizing for who i am.  ’ ‘  i am stronger now and i will not say sorry.  ’ ‘  let this moment be your starting point. let this moment be the one when it all began.  ’ ‘  if you have nothing, you have nothing to lose.  ’ ‘  it’s never too late to rebuild yourself.  ’ ‘  healing takes time, but it will come.  ’ ‘  your warmth and kindness is more beautiful than you know.  ’ ‘  your feelings are valid.  ’ ‘  your opinons are valid.  ’ ‘  your happiest moment is still yet to come.  ’ ‘  turn off the light and close your eyes. it can wait until tomorrow.  ’ ‘  self love is a daily commitment.  ’ ‘  don’t let those thoughts that are telling you can’t keep you from trying at all.  ’ ‘  not today. i won’t let it defeat me.  ’ ‘  stop punishing yourself. please. you don’t deserve it.  ’ ‘  breathe.  ’ ‘  you don’t deserve that! demand better!  ’ ‘  i hope you find what your soul really needs.  ’ ‘  i hope you find the happiness you yearn for.  ’ ‘  there is a point where you have to let go of the anger.  ’ ‘  even if your voice was shaky and you stuttered on your words, you still spoke up and i am so proud you did.  ’ ‘  there’s something incredible about you and i can’t quite tell what it is. maybe that’s the magic in it.  ’ ‘  i know you want more and your heart is driven like that, but don’t take on too much.  ’ ‘  people aren’t always going to do and say what you want them to and that’s okay.  ’ ‘  you are a living, breathing masterpiece.  ’ ‘  some might not understand your beauty, but you are art nonetheless.  ’ ‘  quiet down those thoughts. it’s not worth it tonight.  ’ ‘  try to have gentle thoughts.  ’ ‘  your intrusive thoughts are just thoughts and nothing more than that.  ’ ‘  i love you… i always have.  ’ ‘  i tell myself i don’t care, but i care too much.  ’ ‘  maybe you and i exist together on a different wavelength than the rest of the world. perhaps, we are on a separate frequency.  ’ ‘  concept: we’re both in our softest pajamas, your arms around me and our legs are intertwined. you kiss the back of my neck and tell me you won’t ever let me go.  ’ ‘  look close enough and you’ll find how much i adore you in every subconscious thing i do.  ’ ‘  there are countless parts of you i’ve yet to meet, yet to memorize. nevertheless, i’ll keep wanting to get to know you even when i know everything.  ’ ‘  you make me feel loved in my unlovable moments and beautiful even in my ugliest ones.  ’ ‘  oh darling, how deeply you’ve become a part of me. i can’t help but feel something is missing when you’re gone.  ’ ‘  i can’t help but feel something is missing when you’re gone.  ’ ‘  thank you for never making me inadequate or dumb or inferior.  ’ ‘  your constant love and respect has given me incredible strength and confidence.  ’ ‘  thank you for seeing all the good in me.  ’ ‘  every night i image you beside me.  ’ ‘  it breaks my heart that you can’t fall asleep with me in the same room or the same city, but i always remember that even an imagined silhouette of you is better than nothing at all.  ’ ‘  the spaces between your fingers are where mine fit perfectly.  ’ ‘  by some miracle, the universe created you. of all the infinite combinations of atoms, somehow that infinity filtered down to form you.  ’ ‘  what people think of you is not equivalent to who you are.  ’ ‘  the moment i let myself believe i was going to be okay was the moment i finally was.  ’ ‘  protecting your own happiness ins’t selfish.  ’ ‘  you deserve every ounce of happiness.  ’ ‘  a week, a month, a year without you is nothing compared to the lifetime we’ll spend together.  ’ ‘  tomorrow is a new day. and a new day after that. it’s never too late to start over.  ’ ‘  i finally realize that i no longer need your approval and i never really did.  ’ ‘  maybe i will be okay in the end.  ’ ‘  maybe i will find all that i’m searching for.  ’ ‘  maybe i will figure out all that i am.  ’ ‘  whatever. whatever. whatever. let is pass right by you.  ’ ‘  you are not a failure. please believe that.  ’ ‘  you are only presented with obstacles you are strong enough to conquer.  ’ ‘  it’s been long enough. it’s time to forgive yourself.  ’ ‘  your bad days don’t make your good days any less good.  ’ ‘  even in your darkest times, the sun still rises.  ’ ‘  your existence wasn’t a mistaken accident, it was a creation from almost nothing to something incredible – a miracle even.  ’ ‘  your feelings are your own. no one should be allowed to define them for you.  ’ ‘  ever since our storylines intertwined, i haven’t stopped smiling. you are the best plot twist.   ’ ‘  your thoughts are something that deserve to be heard.  ’ ‘  sometimes it’s not meant to be, but that doesn’t mean there’s no value in it happening.  ’ ‘  your greatest love story is the one you have with yourself.  ’ ‘  i have the right to be happy and i will not let you or anyone else take that from me.  ’ ‘  your existence alone has altered the world. you are more important than you know.  ’ ‘  thank you for letting me forget all the bad, even just for a second.  ’ ‘  you were built for whatever is thrown your way. you are ready.  ’ ‘  no matter what your mind is telling you, please know that you are enough.  ’ ‘  what i can’t fathom is how we can be so close yet so far away.  ’ ‘  you are not a bad person for having bad thoughts. forgive yourself.  ’ ‘  you are growing from this.  ’ ‘  you will heal in time.  ’ ‘  your strength and kindness is more beautiful than you know.  ’ ‘  i’m just trying to be happy and stop thinking about what other people think.  ’ ‘  i want to be someone who sees magic in ordinary things.  ’ ‘  be extra. enjoy things and show it. stop apologizing for it.  ’ ‘  why do you keep trying to impress people who don’t matter?  ’ ‘  let go of the hate. let go of the anger. let go of the resentment. just let it go because it’s holding you back.  ’ ‘  you’re really cute and you make me really happy.  ’ ‘  show me your genuine care.  ’ ‘  why are you beating yourself up over things you can’t control? breathe.  ’ ‘  people annoy me too easily. i need to cut that shit out. i’m not cool enough to be trying to pull that.  ’ ‘  underestimate me and give me the ability to prove you wrong.  ’ ‘  you don’t have to have everything figured out.  ’ ‘  you’re not a bad person for being angry.  ’ ‘  forever is an adventure with you.  ’ ‘  you are not a failure. please believe that.  ’ ‘  you’re my favorite reason to stay awake.  ’

[crownfell-blog]

avalonled

                          he said nothing at her response. he didn’t feel like that during the fourth holy grail war. but artoria was different from him on many levels. plus, even if artoria didn’t remember her past life, there was a chance she could still feel it. she was still artoria pendragon – she was still saber – at her core. well, that’s what shirou hoped.

                                      but then she mentioned him. he had done his best to keep his past from her at all costs, though he knew there was only so much he could hide. shirou dreamed about saber, so artoria probably dreamed about him. and he was never really good at concealing his emotions– he could fake a smile, but it only hid so much.

                                      “ i am your servant. that’s all there is to me. besides … ” perhaps he could take a trick from archer. they were one and the same, after all. “ … i can’t remember a thing about my past. ”

                                    " i have a hard time believing that...  i don't think servants just forget the reason they were picked as heroic spirits.  but, i won't push it anymore. "

                                    at least not for now.  if she were to play her cards right, hopefully she would learn enough from her dreams to figure out just what hero he was.  she had already seen some...  though, it was just a girl with purple hair coming to eat breakfast in the morning... that really didn't give her enough to work with.  

                                     " well, i hope that one day you will feel close enough to trust me with your identity.  it would surely help with planning our attacks. "

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heroswill

“Do you think, if you had a stronger servant you wouldn’t be thinking this?”

Really, he wouldn’t be upset with her if she said yes. He knew he wasn’t the strongest, he knew that compared to the rest, he had a long way to go. He was just learning how to be a Heroic Spirit and she was sadly stuck with him in this war.

                               " no... i would still be thinking the same thing.  you're a fine servant, caster.  don't bring yourself down. "

                                carefully, she reached up and patted his head a bit.  while she didn't know much about him, artoria could tell he didn't think very highly of himself in his current state.  

                                " it's more about me.  i think my brain is running out of ideas. "                          

[crownfell-blog]

bornblade

                           he gritted his teeth. the world truly was out to get him. no mercy in even the smallest of things. not even sparing enough mercy to keep his past private from artoria. soon she could find out what they shared. what he couldn’t give her. he feared that day.

                                       “ think about what you’re about to say before you say it. really, truly think about it. ” the archer knew he was defying his master, but he had no other choice. in order to protect his identity. just as he had with rin. he hated arguing with saber– artoria– but she wasn’t the artoria he knew. she was a master, a human with a chance at life. he couldn’t rip that away from her. 

                                       “ i have no desire for the holy grail. i have no wish i need granted– consider me nothing more than a boring man. ”

                               her brows furrowed a bit at his words.  she hated his condescending words to her, acting as if she did not think before she spoke.  while she was very aware she was still young, artoria considered herself at least mildly wise.

                              " do not speak to me like that, archer.  i do not have any time to waste on a boring man who thinks it is okay to sass his master.  i've seen the battlefields, the blood you have spilled and the lives you have taken.  i see them so often that i can barely sleep. "

                               artoria wasn't one to lose her temper, but the way he spoke, the lies he spoke, angered her to no end.  luckily, her anger was calm, collected, rather than completely blowing up.  

                               " if you wish for me to consider you a boring man, i will treat you as one.  stay here, archer.  i will look for masters and servants myself.  perhaps by the time i find one, you will be done with your self-pity games. "

[crownfell-blog]

Throws an witch at the king

                   no king here.  just a mage who looks like a king.  " can i help you? "

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ardenssolis

     ❝WHAT RATHER INTERESTING WORDS. Ah, but that is expected of you, I suppose. Pray tell, what is the meaning behind such a statement? You hold my attention now, so I would care to hear more.❞

                   " ...i was just thinking, this place had always seemed rather eerie at night.  for somewhere so busy, it always feels off.  but now, with a war hanging over our head, it feels like that it has just become ten times worse... if that makes sense. "

[crownfell-blog]

fionasiroes   

“And I will be there, fighting along the front lines. What about you?”

                   " i will be there fighting on the front lines too.  i might not be a heroic spirit, but i don't run from a fight. "

[crownfell-blog]

bornblade

                           his face hardens at her words. it’s easy for her to say something so idealistic. emiya always hoped to hear artoria say such hopeful things, but hearing it like this – about him – was just painful. 

                                      “ master. you are speaking of something completely irrelevant. ” he crosses his arms. his very creation was formed by the world to serve a life of endless fighting. by definition, he was a machine. “ i serve to fight for you, that is all. ”

                                     his tone and attitude with her was not something that she appreciated.  truly, archer was a force to be reckoned with.  sometimes, he was calm and almost like a housewife and other times he was a steel wall hiding his many secrets and scars.  it was frustrating to work with him when he got like this.  she had seen the things he had done... they came to her in dreams that were stained with the blood of his victims.  even still, she knew he did those things for good; it was his attempt at trying to be a good and just man.

                                    " i would rather you not tell me what is and isn't irrelevant.  a warrior who has no heart at his core is a machine, you are not that.  i know.  tell me, archer, why do you wish to obtain the holy grail? "

[crownfell-blog]

heroswill

@crownfell

It was just so odd, not only was he not human, but he was now somehow a hero? Or something the grail determined was heroic enough to be able to be some sort of summon. How long had it been since he was summoned by this master? A few weeks at most? Looking down at his sword that he always carried with him, a small sigh escaped his lips. How was he even suppose to be a caster? He knew some magic from when he was alive, but that was about it. 

Hearing the door open to his room. He quickly looked up at it and saw her. “Welcome back Master.” It was still such an odd phrase to say, but in a way, it also felt nice to say almost as if he was meant to fight for someone and their wish. 

                                     " good afternoon, caster. "

                                       she returned the greeting with a small smile.  her father had forgotten a lunch for work, so she had to quickly run to bring it to him.  opting to leave her servant at home was risky, but she wished to run that errand quickly and without bringing extra attention to her.  now that she was home, she was able to proceed with her plans for the rest of the day.

                                      " would you like to come with me to the store?  we can also use the time to scope out the area and look for anything suspicious. "

[crownfell-blog]

avalonled

                          “ don’t say that, master. your home is right here, with your family. ” it’s easy to lie when it’s not really a lie – at least, it’s not in this life. but it still breaks his heart, knowing that she has that same longing he does, even if it isn’t so strong. it hurts more knowing she can’t remember why. “ what’s on your mind? you can tell me anything. ”

                                     " this place is not a home.  it's a war zone.  none of us masters have a home in this city for the time being. "

                                       that is what she told herself all the time.  that was the only explanation for this longing in her soul, that she wished for a home without constantly worrying about this war on her hands.  still, her servant seemed to have something on his mind whenever she brought certain things up.  perhaps she reminded him of someone from his past?  

                                      " you know, you haven't told me much about your past... or even your true name. "