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trying to warm my friends up to my new boyfriend without telling them it's anton chigurh: he has suuch a cunty bob. and um, girl autism.

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wallace gromited so that chicken run. is this something

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Just learned about "Pittsburgh toilets" and this one result is killing me

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One time I was working as a waiter at a burger joint where the fries were tossed in salt and coriander and as I was bringing food over to the table for these two huge beefy guys one of them asks what the green stuff is so I go "it's coriander" and his friend goes very seriously "he can't have coriander" and I'm thinking shit ok maybe he's allergic and guy 1 starts pulling up his sleeve to show me something and I'm thinking shit shit shit he's probably breaking out in hives rn and it's my fault but he just shows me his arm and he has this huge cursive font tattoo that just says "I fucking hate coriander"

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Twin Peaks / Jean Baudrillard

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you’ve got to be jeff the kidding me

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former US intelligence officer swears under oath there is love & hope in this world

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why did no one tell me quantum computers looked like that

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i just learned about a scam in the 1960s where the crux of the scam was filling barrels with water and topping it off with a layer of vegetable oil. so when inspectors opened the barrels they thought it was 100% oil, which the scammer would use as collateral for loans. genius shit

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Replacing LGBT with DTFS (Dykes, Trannies, Fags, and Sluts)

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Reblog to give a trans woman a delicious Cuban sandwich

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you dont have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off, and while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the babys soft cartilage head into something a little more modern.  it might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but lets see where the dog is going with this

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Mitski - I bet on Losing Dogs / Breaking Bad S4E07 / Breaking Bad S3E13 / Frances Molina - O'Death / Breaking Bad S5E16 / Mitski - Cop Car