crushermultiverse

[crushermultiverse]

(Rebels! Thranto AU)

Ezra: Hey, Eli? Can I get some dating advice?

Eli: Just because I'm with Thrawn doesn't mean I know how I did it.

[crushermultiverse]

Tristan: So, darling, are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my ship?

Ezra: Well Luke and I were flying low for practice and there was a deer on the road, so I said "Luke, deer!"

Tristan: ...And what did Luke do?

Ezra: ...He said "Yes, Honey?"

[crushermultiverse]

*Faro comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Ar'alani ’s bedroom.*

Ar'alani: Babe, are you.. coming to bed?

Faro: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a girlfriend.

Faro: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep*

Ar'alani: ...

[crushermultiverse]

(Rebels! Thranto AU)

Kanan: How the hell did you crash the Phantom?!

Thrawn: So I was just piloting today, right? And my navigation told me to go straight.

Thrawn: I was like "woah, that's homophobic". Instead, I went gay. And, THAT is when I got into an accident.

Kanan: ...

Eli, with a proud smile: And THAT'S who I'm in love with, ladies and gentlemen.

[crushermultiverse]

(Rebels! Thranto AU)

Zeb: I didn't drink that much last night.

Thrawn: You were flirting with Alex.

Zeb: So what? He's my husband.

Thrawn: You asked if he was single.

Thrawn: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

Zeb: …

[crushermultiverse]

(Rebels! Thranto AU)

Kallus: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.

Eli: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.

*Thrawn walks in*

Eli: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

[crushermultiverse]

Ezra: Can you cut me some slack, Luke? I’m sort of in love.

Luke: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem.

Ezra: I’m in love with you.

Luke: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

[crushermultiverse]

Ar'alani , sweating: Karyn, there’s something I need to ask you-

Faro: Finally! You’re proposing!

Ar'alani: How’d you know?

Faro: Ziara , you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Faro: I even picked it up once.

[crushermultiverse]

Luke: Did it hurt when you fell-

Ezra: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Tristan: No, he meant when you fell down the stairs.

Ezra: ...

Luke: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

[crushermultiverse]

(Rebels! Thranto AU)

Rex: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?

Hera: Maybe a bit tipsy?

Kanan: Drunk.

Ezra: Wasted.

Thrawn: Dead.

[crushermultiverse]

Kallus: Zeb and I are no longer dating.

Zeb: Alex, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

[crushermultiverse]

Ar'alani: You need a hobby.

Thrawn: I have a hobby!

Ar'alani: Fawning over Eli isn’t a hobby.

[crushermultiverse]

Hera: Come on, Ezra. Nobody actually believes that Kanan is in love with me.

Ezra, to The crew: Raise your hand if you think that Kanan is helplessly in love with Hera.

*Everyone raises their hand*

Hera: …Kanan, put your hand down.

[crushermultiverse]

Ar'alani: You need a hobby.

Thrawn: I have a hobby!

Ar'alani: Fawning over Eli isn’t a hobby.

[crushermultiverse]

(Rebels! Thranto AU)

Imperial Officer: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single hoverbike.

Eli, with Thrawn and Zeb behind him: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!

Imperial Officer: Yes… three.

Eli: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?

Imperial Officer: Wha-

Eli: Alex FUCKIN' FELL OFF!

[crushermultiverse]

Eli: Thrawn, what is the ONE thing I asked you NOT to do tonight?

Thrawn, who had been researching resurrection the entire night: Raise the dead.

Eli: And what did you do?

Thrawn, sighing: Raise the dead.

[crushermultiverse]

(Rebels! Thranto AU)

Eli: Hey, Zeb. Why did the chicken cross the road?

Zeb: To get to the other side?

Eli: You were supposed to say “I dunno, why?“

Zeb: Uh... fine. I don’t know. Why did it cross the road?

Eli: To get to the idiot’s house.

Zeb: ...Ok?

Ezra: Hey, Zeb. Knock knock.

Zeb: No.

Ezra: You were supposed to say “who’s there?”

Zeb: Fine... let’s get this over with. Who’s there?

Ezra: The chicken.

Zeb:

Ezra:

Eli:

Zeb: Listen here, you little shits-