crustaceansingles

[crustaceansingles]

NEED "HORKLY WARDIN'" on a shirt

The thing neurotypicals tend not to understand about the ADHD brain is that it really only has two gears

I turn to the chalkboard and carefully write out

WORKIN' HARD

HARDLY WORKIN'

[crustaceansingles]

[crustaceansingles]

‘am i Having A Brain Problem or Being a Shithead’: a short procrastination checklist

aka why tf am i procrastinating on The Thing (more like a flowchart, actually)

lots of people who have executive function difficulties worry about whether they’re procrastinating on a task out of laziness/simply wanting to be a jerk or mental struggles. this checklist might help you figure out which it is at any given time! (hint: it’s almost never laziness or being a jerk.) (obligatory disclaimer: this is just what works for me! something different might work better for you.)

1) do I honestly intend to start the task despite my lack of success?

yes: it’s a Brain Problem. next question

no: it’s shitty to say one thing & do another. better be honest with myself & anyone expecting me to do the task.

2) am I fed, watered, well-rested, medicated properly, etc?

yes: next question

no: guess what? this is the real next task

3) does the idea of starting the task make me feel scared or anxious?

yes: Anxiety Brain. identify what’s scaring me first.

no: next question

4) do I know how to start the task?

yes: next question

no: ADHD Brain. time to make an order of operations list.

5) do I have everything I need to start the task?

yes: next question

no: ADHD Brain lying to me about the steps again, dangit. first task is ‘gather the materials’.

6) why am i having a hard time switching from my current task to this new task?

i’m having fun doing what i’m doing: it’s okay to have fun doing a thing! if task is time-sensitive, go to next question.

i have to finish doing what i’m doing: might be ADHD brain. can I actually finish the current task or will I get trapped in a cycle? does this task really need to be finished?

the next task will be boring/boring-er than the current task: ADHD brain. re-think the next task. what would make it exciting? what am I looking forward to?

I might not have enough time to complete the task: ADHD brain wants to finish everything it starts. (if task is time-sensitive, go to next question)

i just want to make the person who asked me to do it angry: sounds like anxiety brain trying to punish itself, because I know I’ll be miserable if someone is angry at me. why do i think I deserve punishment?

no, I seriously want to piss them off: okay, i’m being a shithead

7) have I already procrastinated so badly that I now cannot finish the task in time?

yes: ADHD brain is probably caught in a guilt-perfection cycle. since I can’t have the task done on time, i don’t even want to start.

reality check: having part of a thing done is almost always better than none of a thing done. if I can get an extension, having part of it done will help me keep from stalling out until the extension deadline. i’ll feel better if I at least try to finish it.

no, there’s still a chance to finish on time: ADHD brain thinks that I have all the time in the world, but the truth is I don’t. 

reality check: if i’m having fun doing what I’m doing, I can keep doing it, but I should probably set a timer & ask someone to check on me to make sure I start doing the task later today.

8) I’ve completed the checklist and still don’t know what’s wrong!

probably wasn’t honest enough with myself. take one more look.

if I’m still mystified, ask a friend to help me talk it out.

hope this helps some of you! YOU’RE DOING GREAT SWEETIE DON’T GIVE UP ON YOU

[crustaceansingles]

BECOME INDIGESTIBLE. GROW SPIKES.

[crustaceansingles]

Same, bee.

[crustaceansingles]

Air? Never breathe the stuff.

Plants fuck in it.

[crustaceansingles]

"Keep talking with you-chother," said the four-year-old. The Child is too ungovernable to submit to further elicitation on the point, but I do believe that's a second-person plural reciprocal pronoun, which is neat.

[crustaceansingles]

you catastrophize EVERYTHING all the time and if you don’t stop you are going to DIE

[crustaceansingles]

When all you have is two hammers, one of them starts to look like a nail.

[crustaceansingles]

Finally finished these today! Gifts for my kid's birthday. He LOVES these books. Can't wait to give them to him. Stakes are really high though because I created the patterns myself and it took me SO LONG and I will be crushed if he doesn't like them and he's 4 so he doesn't know how to lie politely yet

[crustaceansingles]

I do not feel very hopeful but I must have somehow some kind of hope, because I keep buying seeds.

[crustaceansingles]

My kid is 3 years old. Lately he has been fascinated by calendars. Today, apropos of NOTHING, he asked me

"What do you want to do on Columbus Day?"

Not a question I've ever been asked before, especially in April.

[crustaceansingles]

To be immediately good at everything one tries is, of course, toxic to the human soul. But as an occasional treat, it is fantastic for morale.

[crustaceansingles]

No plan survives contact with me thinking about it just a little more

[crustaceansingles]

For date night we took a class in pysanky which is the Ukranian art of egg dying. My egg is a scribbly lil cutie

But my husband's is

Holy moly

I have no idea how he got such clean lines with his kristka!

Is my husband secretly Ukranian?

[crustaceansingles]

Sometimes it's THE DISHES MUST BE WASHED (and who will answer the call?) or It is Time to Wash the Dishes.

And sometimes it's a second person singular imperative with no overt pronoun: Do the dishes.

[crustaceansingles]

This is mine now! It is on my desk until I figure out a secure way to hang it with some backlight

I made a stained glass