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Them
was a dinner party at one of our brother’s parents’ house in the ‘burbs. The guy had just been accepted to an Ivy med school and his parents need everyone in the class of ‘16 to know.
For those of us that didn’t//don’t have our lives together, this was the last kind of shit we wanted to be out celebrating.
They showed up separately. Her 20 minutes early, him half way through the dinner. She looked put together, happy. Stepped into the washroom about 10 times throughout the dinner. Couldn’t blame her.
Surrounded by friends with real jobs, parents in the 1%, healthy relationships and probably not a deviated septum. She didn’t know me, and it’s probably better that way.
Then he showed up, pupils the size of pennies, already drunk. He was always the life of the party, though, what more could anyone expect.
She was embarrassed. She wasn’t in a place to rat on him being sober though.
They sat next to each other at dinner, they seemed fine. No one asked him about career prospects. He would always be known as the party boy. Living off of daddy’s money. Little did they know he was cut off and blew all of his grandfather’s inheritance.
At one point they disappeared together upstairs. No one noticed until the sound of aggressive shouting and a broken bottle. She blamed herself for ‘accidentally shattering a wine bottle on the wall above her head.’ The sad thing is they believed her.
He was the frat boy who never quit. No one expected him to have his life in order. And they all knew the financial burden he had carried for her. They blamed her for his ‘situation.’
The party moved back to someone’s apartment. I watched how he held her when they walked. The looks he gave her when she moved too far away, or when she let her smile fall. He had to be dominant. They had to put on happy faces. The ‘rally couple’ that would be in college forever.
Did they forget he didn’t make it? All they cared about was the kegs he funded during their undergrad. The blow. The tabs. The bottles.
He introduced me with no backstory, just by name. At this point, she was drunk too, high on God knows what. I was cold, decided I shouldn’t make myself to familiar. She wouldn’t remember me anyway.
It’s odd thing to witness. Someone you’re bonded to for life, a friend regardless if you want him to be or not, with someone that genuinely deserves better, yet you can’t side with her.
I owed it to him to not side with her.
He left dragging a group out to the clubs. She was already on the guest bathroom floor. He didn’t notice. No matter his reputation, she was always the sloppy wing.
He took them all out on her dime. She’ll get a scream in her face later, told that ‘he’s ashamed of her.’ He always wins.
She doesn’t want to be this way. Drinking and railing herself into oblivion just to bare to be around him. She wasn’t like this before him. He ruined her.
His substance issues were always far worse. But it was expected of him. The party boy. He tarnished her rep. But we wanted to believe she brought him down. Because that’s how he made it sound.
We’d never understand why she wouldn’t leave. I mean, I would. But she can’t know that. And she won’t have to.
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Him,
that scumbag, right where you’d expect him. Staircase in that shit apartment building under the bridge, the 300 square feet where he’s the king, and she’s another mercy-begging peasant.
I shouldn’t call him a scumbag. He helped me get this business off the ground. We dropped out together, and his trust fund money bought us the back stock we needed to get something real going.
It went well at first. We went back to campus, we had connections. The mass of rich pricks we used to pretend to be a part of almost bought us out entirely within one term.
He wanted to ride off of that. But I couldn’t. I was in the game now. He started using. He was bringing me down. So I separated.
But he knew I still owed him. I know I’m not helping him, only encouraging the problem. But I owe it to him. Throwing his life away with that ‘friends and family’ discount.
It kept his pockets full though. She noticed this, that’s why she went for him.
He only saw her as an object. The love was never there on his end. A top-tier sorority and fraternity match made in heaven. Blonde and bubbly, she just wanted a good time, and he was the plug.
They met sophomore year, right before we left. She knew she had to stay in school. She needed that degree. He promised he’d help. He wanted her all to himself.
So he bought her out. He helped her through school, paid her books, rent, tuition installments, sorority dues, fixed her car...she saw it as love.
And, honestly, I figured it was too. They seemed happy together. Of course he was never sober when he was with her. But something about her had a hold on him.
He knew if he let her go, some other guy would step right in. Someone with real money. She was out of his league anyway. But he was connected, and again, the cash speaks louder than character sometimes.
The two together were a liability. She partied, he partied harder. But she kept it together, at least until she got that diploma.
She seemed like she had it together. Got that internship, moved ‘up’ to an assistant position. She knew if she stuck around, she could climb that corporate ladder.
They always felt out of each others’ leagues. He couldn’t stand she was going places. He’d get pissed at the world for his own mistakes, mad at her for making it somewhere while he was just a burn out.
And he started taking it out on her. But she couldn’t leave him. Not after all he had done for her. She felt like it was her fault he was in the hole.
But he hated her. He hurt her. And so she turned to using too. But she didn’t want him to know.
So I’m in this staircase with him, chain smoking. And he tells me it’ll work out. She knows she’s indebted him, she’ll do anything.
I still felt like I owed him. And she was really the only thing bringing him down, and hurting my business. We took that pledge to be brothers forever. I wouldn’t drop that now.
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Her,
she was on edge, I could tell. At first glance, she seemed fine, sending rapid-fire texts to all of her best girlfriends about getting drinks or something. I doubt they knew.
She worked- assisted- 9 to 5 at this tech firm on the south side. Not fulfilling her sociology major, really, but it was helping her pay off the loans. And maybe pay off him.
To be fair, in the beginning, she didn’t know he’d use any of it against her. She was genuinely interested in him, and his wallet only helped the cause.
There were red flags, for sure. Her girls told her this all the time before they broke up...or before the first time at least. She couldn’t tell any of them she went back to him. They couldn’t know what for.
She climbed on the bus, heading to a gal’s a few blocks up. She needed a place of refuge. I mean, she wouldn’t make it that obvious. But she couldn’t go home. Not tonight. Not to him.
Technically it was her apartment. Like, she was the only one paying at this point. Sure he helped out before, a lot. But he had an expensive habit and it was catching up. She would know. That’s how she got hooked.
She got off the bus, following the address for this girls wine-and-whine night. She’d rather have gone out, but that always leads to trouble. A night in is good too.
She switches off the location settings on her phone. There’s no way for her to know when he’s going to show up, or how, or why...
I can tell she’s paranoid beyond the idea of him finding her tonight. What would he do, exactly? She had been lying about a second job for months now. Telling him those paychecks went straight to those damn student loans.
She wished.
Just before hitting the buzzer for upstairs, she pauses. She’s off, and it shows. Just down. For not-so-obvious obvious reasons.
She goes to the corner store and buys a $9 bottle of red and asks to use the bathroom. She just needs a bump. She doesn’t want her friends to be concerned if she ‘seems’ down.
It makes her feel better. She knows that won’t last long, but it’s okay. She doesn’t want to think about him. She can’t see him.
She goes to hit the buzzer. 20 minutes late now but the girls won’t care. I catch the door for her after it clicks unlocked. She smiles, jittery, says thank you.
I sit on recliner in the building lobby. I’ll catch her on her way out.
She really doesn’t understand how this chain works. She’s getting the ‘friends and family’ treatment, not prices. But she keeps shortchanging. So I have to step in.
It’s too bad he couldn’t provide for her in the ways she needed. At least not anymore.
She left late and I followed her out. One wrong left turn. That was the last time I saw her. The last time anyone saw her.
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