cryingtulips - Tumblr blog

[cryingtulips]

Final piece written for @dsmp-eras! This event was really fun and I'm glad I was able to participate :D

SUMMARY:

It haunts his dreams, the tears marking a young face as Tommy lets out guttural sobs while Wilbur rows away. Hearing them, at the time, almost made Wilbur turn back. Because Wilbur said he wasn’t going to hurt Tommy anymore, his baby brother, and that he would keep him safe. But he can’t do that if he stays. He knew if he stayed, Tommy would get hurt again. And Wilbur promised he wouldn’t hurt Tommy anymore. - Or, after leaving the server, c!Wilbur has no choice but to confront the consequences of his decision

[cryingtulips]

Working on an outline for a horror gift exchange and dang it is BRUTAL. My brain really goes crazy for exile /pos

[cryingtulips]

Working on an outline for a horror gift exchange and dang it is BRUTAL. My brain really goes crazy for exile /pos

[cryingtulips]

rotting bodies and gentle hands, a c!Tommy poem about death and exile

Written for @dsmp-eras! This might honestly be my favorite piece I've done for this event!

[cryingtulips]

Last Song: Hell Is Forever from Hazbin Hotel

Favorite Color: Red and blue!

Currently Watching: Good Omens (I haven't had the time to watch S2) and the og Teen Titans show (I've barely started S2)

Spicy/savory/sweet: I loooove sweet and spicy food!

Relationship: Single but lowkey wants a qpr. It's complicated. Maybe one day 🥺

Current Obsessions: Sonic and Hazbin Hotel!! Sonic Prime got me obsessed with Shadow and his backstory (I'm so excited for Sonic 3 and the new Sonic Generations game you do not understand) and Hazbin Hotel has such bangers. Helluva Boss has also been enjoyable to watch, I'm looking forward to the next episode (I know its only gonna end in angst. Stolas and Blitzø, for the life of them, CANNOT communicate well)

Nine people i'd like to get to know better:

Tagged by: @bell-of-indecision, thank you so much for tagging me <3

Last Song: Gmfu by Odetari,6arelyhuman

Favourite colour: Dark red, violet, pink

Currently watching: Death note, ep6

Spicy/Savoury/Sweet: Spicy

Relationship status: Single

Current Obsession: Mbti types and cognitive functions.

Tagging: @somin-yin @a-cloud-for-dreams @axepen @hinsaa-paramo-dharma @basic-bitch-alkali @rhysaka @blackknight-100 @squishywizardd @reykalot

[cryingtulips]

looking back at my utah fic (still a wip lol) and genuinely wondering when tf did I give c!Quackity a new scar and why. What scene was in my head when I referenced that

[cryingtulips]

go here and let me know what your short term top artists from spotify (within the last 4 weeks) are in the tags!

[cryingtulips]

lunch break :P

bp!tubbo and tommy sharing some rations in pogtopia for @sixteenth-day-event prompt "kindness" :3 i think about bptubbo risking his stupid skin to feed his loser bestie&co often

[cryingtulips]

"Loveless marriage" except in a joyous, loveless aromantic way instead of a miserable amatonormative way.

[cryingtulips]

Mcyt aro week day 2 | prompt - loveless

[cryingtulips]

to be a villain, a c!Wilbur poem

My second piece for @dsmp-eras. It's been so long since I thought about Pogtopia :(

[cryingtulips]

i’ll ruin us all my dear

Written for @dsmp-eras. March 9-12 marking L'Manburg for the event, and I chose to write about c!Tommy and c!Dream's duel but in the perspective of c!Wilbur

Watching as Tommy loses his second life because of his actions, Wilbur can't help but wonder if he's destined to ruin everything he cares for.

ao3 link

---

If there’s one thing Wilbur regrets never teaching Tommy, it was how to aim.

The younger boy was a good soldier, determined and fierce. Sometimes, as Wilbur watched Tommy train the other soldiers, he wondered if Techno would like him. If he would admire Tommy’s fire and skills, impressive for being self taught. Techno has always admired loyalty, and Tommy’s has always been unmatched. 

But Tommy was young and impulsive. Reckless, Techno would scold if he was here. Techno always believed emotions were a weakness, they cloud judgment and can be the reason you die in battle. But Wilbur, still naive and cocky, always argued otherwise. He wanted to believe in the good of others, that conflict can be resolved not through violence, but through compassion—words .

And look where it got L’Manburg: betrayed, weakened, a failed ideal. Wilbur was an idiot to ever think he could be different from his family, that he could change the order of how life operated. He failed everyone, and everyone knows this now, except for Tommy.

Sweet, brave, idiotic Tommy. Tommy who challenged Dream to a duel, all because he can’t admit defeat, all because he wants to make Wilbur proud.

Now, Wilbur watches as red and green walk away from each other with every count that comes out of his mouth. He hopes Tommy wins, for L’Manburg—one last “fuck you” to Dream—but also because if he dies, Wilbur won’t be able to live past the guilt. All two lives taken because of Wilbur, because he can’t be a good leader. He created L’Manburg to protect everyone, and it backfired tremendously.

But Wilbur knows Tommy, knows his strengths and weaknesses. He knows Tommy has never learned how to use a bow, at least not properly. In terms of combat, archery has always been Tommy’s weakest technique. It doesn’t help that Dream has been known for cheating, and Wilbur wasn’t sure who to watch. Dream or Tommy, his eyes kept flickering between the two; the former for any suspicious movement, the latter in fear of the worst happening. Dream was taunting Tommy, and Wilbur felt his anxiety spike as Tommy’s temper rose. He was becoming too emotional, not attentive— he’s not going to be ready.

—

Wilbur sees the moment Tommy realizes his arrow is going to miss its target. Dream shot his early, but not that it mattered because Tommy has always been quick on his feet and was already in the process of jumping in the water, the arrow ripping a piece of blue fabric. But that didn’t matter, because Tommy missed his shot, and just put himself at a disadvantage. 

Tommy lost, Wilbur knows this the moment his body hits the water. He blinks, and Dream is drawing his bow again, another blink, and the water is transforming into red. Wilbur screams, Dream’s laughter muffled as he doesn’t hesitate to jump in the water. He reaches blindly until he snags onto heavy material, and struggles to kick as Tommy continues to bleed out into the water that once provided the younger boy comfort, onto the same bridge he and Tubbo were once playing on earlier that day.

It’s tainted now, is Wilbur’s only thought as he’s powerless to save Tommy. He’s numb as Tommy’s chest stops moving, blood marring his own clothing and hands. Someone has to drag him away, even after Tommy’s body has already respawned.

This is Wilbur’s fault. If only he was better; a better leader, a better fighter, a better strategist. He’s tainted, everything he touches is bound to come to ruins, and he was an idiot to think L’Manburg would be different.

[cryingtulips]

cut open my heart, a c!Quackity poem about being loveless aro

Written for @mcyt-aro-week: day 2 (loveless)

[cryingtulips]

the real question is why hasnt my WIP written itself already

[cryingtulips]

Friends can break your heart too, friendships can be just as toxic and abusive as relationships. Someone you care about can hurt you and manipulate you into coming back everytime and it’s so hard to let go, you want to heal them, you don’t want to leave, you know that everyone deserves to have someone who never leaves. But you gotta understand you need to let go. You dont have to be that one person. You have nothing to prove. Take care of yourself. You matter just as much as the people that you desperately try to peice back together.

-Advice to myself that I wish I’d take

[cryingtulips]

Reminder!!

No matter how sorry someone is

You

Do

Not

Have

To

Take

Them

Back

That goes for friendships, relationships, all the jazz. You are not obligated to forget a whole ordeal happened just because that person is sorry. You have the right to walk away and refuse. You have the right to go on without them in your life. You did not sign a contract and you don’t have to accept their apology, regardless of what they have done. You are allowed to remove people from your life and you do not have to keep those people around for any longer than you want them to be. Don’t feel trapped like that. You shouldn’t have to feel upset and scared to break ties with someone who has had a negative effect on you. Don’t ever shame someone for doing so.

[cryingtulips]

gaslighting does not always involve them calling you “crazy”

sometimes gaslighting is you protesting over and over, and them saying “you don’t have to make such a big deal out of it”

sometimes it’s “i really tried my best with you, but clearly i couldn’t do it”

sometimes it’s “i would never do that to you”, “if you really asked me to stop, wouldn’t i have stopped?”, “i don’t know what i’d do if i ever hurt you”

“denying and rewriting your reality” is not a one-time conversation, either. it is a sneak attack, flying under the radar and taking you out, one communication at a time, never drawing all the attention at once.

it is not your fault that you never saw it coming.