crypticdoe

[crypticdoe]

the idea of protists is really funny. Ah yes, the kingdoms of life: Animals, Plants, Fungi, and Don't worry about it:)

[crypticdoe]

an oral thermometer takes the temperature of your mouth. a rectal thermometer takes the temperature of your rectum. [confidently] a digital thermometer takes the temperature of your finger.

[crypticdoe]

[crypticdoe]

Had to be me. Someone else might've gotten it wrong.

[crypticdoe]

starts talking about my emotional state with 2 degrees of abstraction instead of 7 and the sniper across the street who i pay to keep me in line fires a warning shot thru my little hoop earring

[crypticdoe]

if you’re someone who has to wear glasses every day that makes them basically the most important item you own which means you really gotta show those fuckers who’s boss just toss them everywhere and knock them off things and roll over them in bed at least twice a week

[crypticdoe]

reblog in 45 seconds to have a slutty little night

[crypticdoe]

[crypticdoe]

After being released from 104 days of ICE detention for his pro-Palestine activism, Mahmoud Khalil joins his wife, Dr. Noor Abdalla, and their newborn son at Newark Liberty Airport this morning (21 June 2025).

photo via NYT

[crypticdoe]

[crypticdoe]

[crypticdoe]

OP: so this is the ‘intense regional downpour’ on the weather forecast

[crypticdoe]

obligatory post today

[crypticdoe]

thatbemeqq

video is mildly funny but this comment killed me

[crypticdoe]

boss makes a dollar i make a dime that's why i steal company time

[crypticdoe]

i will not be having an ipad baby. i will be having a Pea baby

[crypticdoe]

Google Earth is Amazing