crypticprince

[crypticprince]

can your pathetic elon musk bird site do this?

[crypticprince]

Putting powdered sugar on the post below

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[crypticprince]

Goncharov Lore Thus Far, based on the top tumblr post results

Main cast are Goncharov himself, his wife Katya (née Michailov), and Andrey 

One side character is named Mario Ambrosini. He is described as a “sad boi” and is involved in gambling. 

Set in Naples and involving a drug ring/mafia. The plot seems to involve Russian organized crime attempting to get a foothold in Italy. 

There is a Boat Scene. Katya survives via resourcefulness. 

Andrey and Goncharov have a substantial amount of homoeroticism. Andrey also has an internet in Katya. This forms a true love triangle. 

At some point, Katya threatens to shoot Goncharov. This is framed as a Girlboss Moment. 

There is also a Beer Bottle Scene. 

Katya fakes her death. 

[crypticprince]

idk whats funnier: that tumblr got people to spend multiples of $7.99 to add fake verification checkmarks to their blog to ""make fun of"" twitter's latest fuckup, or that these checkmarks literally do not show up for mobile users and thats why i had no idea this amazing feat of opportunistic capitalism was even happening until just now

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Au where Goncharov and Andrey survive everything, grow old together and sit on a street all day somewhere in the south of Europe

[crypticprince]

if only time would stop for us

Katya & Sofia - Goncharov (1973) Dir. Martin Scorsese

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say what you will about 2010 acoustic pop hit "goncharov," like, does it scrub the 1973 movie quote "i know it won't be us" entirely of its original heartbreaking context? yes. was it written by someone who had pretty clearly never seen the movie and only had a passing familiarity with the plot? probably. but since it's been all anyone's been able to talk about on here, i've had the chorus banging around in my head, so here's a quick little cover.

[crypticprince]

Yesssss you guys I finally found a rip of the deleted sequence in the boat scene where Sofia fuckin. Serenades Katya. It’s kinda sound-stagey but ough it’s so Much SO GAY I’m gonna die rn

God. fuck. the lyrics (see here). the THEMES the MASKS they’re wearing every moment of their lives that are suddenly, irreversibly breaking DOWN, I–

[crypticprince]

Goncharov Lore (“Gonchlore” if you will) Masterpost

Note: this is regarding the lore made up by tumblr collaboratively about a fake Martin Scorsese film. See the post that started it all and fake poster.

Goncharov was released in 1973. It was written by Matteo JWHJ 0715 and directed (?) and/or possibly co-written by Martin Scorsese. Scorsese’s big name helped popularize the film, but as a result JWHJ 0715’s significant contribution is often overlooked

Goncharov was forgotten and was actually difficult to acquire for many years. This may have been due to corporations hoarding rights and access, the actually mafia targeting distribution of the film, other factors, or a combination of these. This led to pirating of the film, which allegedly led to pirating discourse surrounding the film

There are talks of a Goncharov II or remake

Goncharov is a mafia boss in Naples of Russian origin. His wife/fiancée is named Katya, also of Russian origin. Goncharov may or may not have fled Russia, and may or may not have been pursued by someone trying to get him back to Russia, possibly to face legal justice. One such person trying to do this could be Valery Michailov

Valery Michailov is Katya’s sister. He may resent Goncharov due to his relationship with his sister and due to Goncharov being wanted by the Russian government. He is somewhat patriotic, possibly a former government worker or soldier.

Katya’s last name is either Michailova or Goncharova (although possibly with the wrong suffix). Her relationship with Goncharov is strained, tense, and possibly loveless. She ends up betraying him in the end. This is often seen as a subversion on the typical tropes for women in mafia movies.

At some point, Katya is on a bridge with Goncharov. At some point, Katya points a gun at Goncharov. At some point, Katya is injured on a boat/in a boathouse.

Katya is amicable with someone named Sofia, who has brown hair. She also has subtextual homoerotic tension with her

Sofia may be working class/poorer than many of the other characters are.

Goncharov has subtextual homoerotic tension with someone named Andrey. Andrey is Goncharov’s old friend/best friend/nemesis/enemy/competitor. There is at least one instance of one of them trying to kill the other.

Ice pick Joe is played by John Cazale, making this his 6th movie. He has a famous 10 minute scene with Katya, and at some point dies, also possibly at the hands of Katya.

Mario Ambrosini works with Goncharov, possibly as a lackey or number two. At some point in the middle of the story, he betrays Goncharov and Goncharov tells him that he “never wants to see [Mario] again”. It is unclear what happens to him after that. Mario also has a relationship with Andrey that some have described as “fascinating”. It is unclear how.

There is a clock motif in Goncharov, and a general theme regarding “running out of time” before death. There are a few characters who seem at the very least subconsciously aware of the fact that they have little time until their death. The film also deals with the theme of fate, of death and tragedy being and inevitable thing for these characters.

Goncharov dies at the end of the movie, due to someone’s betrayal.

Goncharov (1973) was heavily influenced by the American Cold War propaganda of the time. Some argue that it plays right into the stereotypes of Russians, others say it is a clever subversion of the propaganda and stereotypes of the time.

Feel free to add more/expand/add alternative information!

[crypticprince]

Okay, but can we talk about the dance scene in Goncharov? The way Goncharov and Andrey are in-sync even though they aren’t dancing together whilst Katya and Goncharov are completely out-of-sync despite actually dancing together. How, when viewed from above, all the dancing pairs form the shape of the clock, with Goncharov and Katya being the minute hand and Andrey and his partner being the hour. Oh, and don’t forget about the music, perfectly blending the Main Theme (representing Goncharov himself here), Katya’s Theme, and Andrey’s Theme. Utterly incredible choreography, composition, writing, and performance.

For those curious about the motifs used in the score, you can find the Main Theme uploaded by @caramiaaddio and Katya’s by @unscharf-an-den-raendern

[crypticprince]

Haven't seen goncharov (1973) yet? In that case go watch it RIGHT NOW, but if you don't have the time for a 3h 32mins film (which is understandable but you have to make the time at some point) and you want to understand the memes I have you covered. (Keep in mind that there are gonna be important spoilers in this post)

Important characters:

Goncharov

Katya Michailov - Goncharov's wife

Andrey - Goncharov's lover (or almost)

Sofia - Katya's lover

Minor characters

Mario Ambrosini

Ice pick Joe

Valery Michailov - Katya's brother

Important scenes

The Boat Scene: a scene in which Katya almost dies.

Beer Bottle Scene: an infamous scene in the movie

Anchovy scene: a scene with heavy homoerotic subtext between Goncharov and Andrey

Dressing for dinner scene: a scene where Katya and Andrey are shown dressing up with cuts that give each of the things they wear the same importance as survival items, from Katya's high heels to Andrey's dagger

Bridge scene: goodbye scene between Katya and Goncharov. Beautifully made as you can see Katya second guessing her choice to betray him but she's too far in to turn back

Fruit stand scene: a heavily homoerotic conversation between Katya and Sofia while they are buying apples

Important plot points

Katya betrays Goncharov

Andrey betrays him too for money

Goncharov has betrayed Katya's family too, and Andrey is a living reminder of that

Goncharov is shot at the end, resulting in his death

Katya fakes her death at one point

Katya's father is killed at the beginning of the movie and she feels responsible for it for almost the entire movie, until she finally accepts that there was nothing more she could have done to save him, only to die alone in the boathouse

Even though Katya loves Goncharov, when she has to choose between him and Sofia, she chooses Sofia

There is a love triangle between Goncharov, Andrey and Katya too

Other important things

The clock symbolism is just so important in this film it deserved to be here

[crypticprince]

Goncharov score masterpost

I want to make a post to keep track of all the Goncharov score that’s been uploaded to tumblr, so I will link to all the one’s I’ve found so far and update with any new ones that come up (if you know any I’m missing please share the link!)

Main Theme uploaded by @caramiaaddio

Main Theme (End Titles) uploaded by @if-only-angels-could-prevail

Main Theme (Reprise) uploaded by @raccoonfink

The Bridge Breaks uploaded by @nicewizard

The Clocktower uploaded by @dungeonmastersconsortium

Farewell Scene uploaded by @levuna (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

Tempus Fugit - “Clock Theme” uploaded by @trupowieszcz  (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

Goncharov Theme in Minor uploaded by @mapplejuice  (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

Katya’s Leitmotif (Vinyl Rip) uploaded by @unscharf-an-den-raendern  (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

Andrey’s Theme uploaded by @the-frosty-mac (pointed out to me by @muzic4sewerratz , thank you!)

It Is True (Extract) uploaded by @hex-of-els (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

Memories Of Water - Goncharov Soundtrack uploaded by @rismrus (pointed out to me by themself– please do feel free to toot your own horn!)

Katya’s Sonata uploaded by @arcanistvysoren

“For My Love” Andrey’s Serenade uploaded by @shits-getting-weird (pointed out to me by themself)

Stolen Time uploaded by @avatar-of-the-vast (I lost track of who pointed this one out to me I’m sorry but my notifications at the moment are A Lot, so thank you to whoever it was and I’m sorry I don’t know who you were)

Sharing A Dance uploaded by @the-frosty-mac (pointed out to me by themself)

In The Boathouse uploaded by @madame-karenina

What Was And Will Be uploaded by @piano-flute​

Overture on the Clocktower uploaded by @dead-minecraft-fandoms​ (pointed out to me by @mccoppinscrapyard, thank you!)

Privyet Goncharov uploaded by @rismrus (pointed out to me by themself)

Goncharov’s Gun uploaded by @netcup

Sofia’s Serenade to Katya, from the deleted scene in the boat where she sings “Come Raggio di Sol,” uploaded by @melongumi

Dockside #2, one of the unreleased tracks, uploaded by @reptilemodernism

Unnamed Fragment from Goncharov’s death scene, uploaded by @quizshow1994

Bonus:

Cover of the song Goncharov (2010) by @idiopathicsmile  (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

At Goncharov’s Gate (PC Version), song written for the PC game with a Super NES port released in 1994 for PC-DOS, uploaded by @badgraph1csghost (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

One of the official trailers was recently recovered by @talkshowhost1996

[crypticprince]

meme for @a-mag-a-day Day 7

Mag 6 - Squirm

[crypticprince]

hey um im rly sorry but i saved ur boyfriend in the wrong format and now his save file is corrupted. so he’s evil and weird now. sorry

[crypticprince]

Spy x Family Anime Official Guidebook HD scans - part 1

Wanted to make some HD scans of the Spy x Family Anime Official Guidebook, particularly of all the lovely promotional key visuals ❤

There's several more pages of these illustrations that I'll share in subsequent posts (hence the "part 1" in the title!)

Click here to go to part 2.