cryptid-bu1ch

[cryptid-bu1ch]

just learned that magnolias are so old that they’re pollinated by beetles because they existed before bees

[cryptid-bu1ch]

this is so fuckin funny

[cryptid-bu1ch]

When I was a kid, I didn't know trans men existed. I thought that nobody actually likes being a girl, that's just something that unfortunately happens to you, and you just gotta suck it up and pretend to be happy about it. Something vaguely about how it'd be shameful to admit you'd rather be a man because that's not The Feminist Stance, you just gotta grit your teeth and endure that shit and insist that you prefer it that way.

When I first learned that female-to-male transitioning even exists at all, my first thought was to wonder "why hasn't every woman done this?" How has this been kept secret so well that all women haven't flocked to transitioning if that's a thing you can do?

It was only over years that it actually sunk in that yeah no, women really do just want to be women, like genuinely. For the first 12 or 13 years of my life I wasn't aware that trans men exist, but in a more vague and unaware sense, I did not believe that cis women exist.

[cryptid-bu1ch]

[cryptid-bu1ch]

WHAT THE HELL. LOOK AT THAT THING

[cryptid-bu1ch]

[cryptid-bu1ch]

ooh so you like my blog? name five of my fetishes

[cryptid-bu1ch]

at our weekly allstaff meeting at work we always do an icebreaker question. today it was just tell us your hobby. that was the question. and i watched my coworker next to me go into chatgpt and ask it "hobbies." am i working with fake people am i being truman showed what the fuck is going on in here

[cryptid-bu1ch]

Post-Apocalyptic scavengers find my dessicated corpse hunched over my desk, gnarled skeletal fingers clutching the keyboard. Eager to see what life was like for those who lived before, they restore power, the computer sputtering to life, monitor buzzing as it glows beneath a layer of grime, It boots to a saved browser state where I was searching "Elf Femdom" across 36 different websites.

[cryptid-bu1ch]

[cryptid-bu1ch]

confiscating cis peoples gender until they can learn to be normal about it. sorry you spent too much time talking about how men and women are 'supposed' to act, you're getting put in nonbinary time out. sit on the naughty step. no gender until dinner time.

[cryptid-bu1ch]

[cryptid-bu1ch]

[cryptid-bu1ch]

Cherry Blossom Sprigatito! 🌸

[cryptid-bu1ch]

[cryptid-bu1ch]

[cryptid-bu1ch]

he has no idea