cryptid-candy

[cryptid-candy]

Having to clean the shower is so fucking annoying. It’s clean in there. That’s where I go to get clean. It’s clean dude trust me. Stop fucking growing bacteria and stuff man this is the clean locale. You’re embarrassing me in front of the sink

[cryptid-candy]

Mew y two

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what’s it called when you’re so disconnected from reality that cold water doesn’t feel like anything and you can barely taste food anymore

[cryptid-candy]

trust me, possessively stroking your hair while my other arm holds you tight and prevents you from moving is vital to our alliance

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file this one next to "socratian poetry" under "tumblr users trying to sound smart by using specific language and revealing they don't know what they're talking about"

[cryptid-candy]

once these 15 million different stressful situations resolve themselves I’m gonna be so normal again. I can be normal and not exhausted

[cryptid-candy]

the original leeroy jenkins video was posted may 11th 2005… 10 years ago today… yowee

[cryptid-candy]

[cryptid-candy]

crazy how the united states is collapsing inward on itself and republicans are just like "this sure is happening" and dems are like "wow that guy is bad". like. okay.

[cryptid-candy]

A lot of fantasy goes with Tolkien explanation of fantasy racism being the result of ancestral grudge.

Then you got Dungeon Meshi which is like:

"Elves and Dwarves hate each other because their respective empires make up 2/3 of the imperial core and are stuck in a cold war as the planet runs out of uncolonized land to grab. Elves are able to live in pastoral paradise because they've horded most of the settings farm-able land and natural capital, displacing and mass murdering any natives in the process. Orcs and goblins are hostile to other races because there the primary targets of an ongoing slavery and genocide campaign. The dividing line between human and inhuman is arbitrarily assigned via a phrenological pseudo-science that quickly falls apart when questioned by anyone who wasn't indoctrinated into it since birth."

[cryptid-candy]

One of the machines broke down at the hyperbole factory. The situation is frustrating, but ultimately manageable.

[cryptid-candy]

cursebearing hips

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SHE KNOWS

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[cryptid-candy]

i feel so completely directionless

[cryptid-candy]

Me reaching what looks suspiciously to be the end of my rope: oobh i got plany off rope

[cryptid-candy]