TRANSPHOBE = BLOCK -- PfP by lichenthr.py - 21 - She/her - Bi/polyam - Occasional suggestive posts! Pls blacklist 'nsft' if you don't want to see
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I think Cosmo really likes compliments about his physical appearance.
He’s a little ashamed of that, especially before he has a real support system. His body was always meant to be disposable. For a lot of his life it didn’t even feel like it belonged to him. It’s prideful and egotistical for something like him to want compliments like that, even now that he feels more like his body actually belongs to him and has benefits of existing in. Being a barely-physical consciousness used to be his ideal self, but now he imagines that and thinks “I’d miss feeling the sun, though, or smelling the air and feeling the chill that comes right before it rains. River couldn’t pick me up anymore, and Balledora makes really good food. Plus there’s digging holes…”
He’s working on liking his body. He has ups and downs, but he’s made a lot of progress. It makes him feel a whole other way when someone else compliments his looks. It makes him shy, but also happy. He likes that people look at him and have positive opinions about what they’re seeing. He likes the idea that he’s capable of being pretty. And of course, it makes him feel Very Special to get compliments just for existing <3
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Back hurts :(
#Like once a year ish I’ll get just. THE most awful pain in my lower back#Sitting still it’s pretty dull and okay but having to shift and move is awful#Especially moving from one position to the other (like sitting to standing or vice versa)#It normally lasts for like 3ish days then goes away on its own#It’s usually not too bad bc I can just relax for the most part. just need to walk between class and my room#But I have work today and I’m really afraid I’m going to need to do event setup or teardown and it’ll just kill me#vent
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I've resorted to downloading Infinity Nikki on my phone because every time I try to initiate holding hands with the Seer (y'know, the thing you HAVE to do to get through the new MANDATORY intro the game tosses you into immediately upon logging in) they just stand side-by-side not touching and I can't move or access any menus.
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Me when a character starts experiencing an agonizingly, Horrifically, painful transformation :

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Adding to this, if it ever seems like I'm posting contradictory information about Elio, it's bc there's three stages of Elio in my brain and I frequently forget to clarify which one I'm talking about.
Classic Elio is like, backstory Elio where he and Calloway met and were friends (crushes). This is the sweetest and most earnest form of Elio, where he's trying his hardest to go out of his way to make friends and failing miserably.
Pre Bug Hunt Elio refers to Elio after Calloway got fired up until the climax of Bug Hunt. This Elio still wants to make humans happy, but he's less overwhelmingly fond of them than he used to be. Before his perspective was "I'm an android, so I'm lesser than humans in all ways! I'm simply happy to have the opportunity to assist them!" This stage of Elio is more "I'm an android, so I'm lesser than humans because I am inorganic. I was invented with a purpose. Humans are weaker, more fragile, less intelligent, disorganized, and illogical. They do not exist for utility, they exist for whatever they want, and they used their free-willed existence to create me. I care for and help them because I would not exist without them." Humans are born inherantly valuable despite all their flaws. Androids were created to do jobs, so must live up to their utility. He thinks highly of his abilities, but rather lowly of himself as a being.
Post Bug Hunt Elio referrs to Elio specifically after the helicopter crash at the climax of Bug Hunt. This is what caused him to put his own life and value above that of human beings. Not because he's better than humans or more worthy of life, but because he's come so close to death and simply realized he doesn't want to die. "I'm an android, and I don't care that I'm lesser than humans. I want to live. I will do what it takes to live. I am a broken machine, my survival is a mercy provided by the Company." He doesn't care about whether or not he 'deserves' to live. He knows that objectively he doesn't. He's broken, he's outdated, he's killed two human beings. He pursues survival because he WANTS it and that's all there is to it. Elio has learned that he is capable of want.
Most tragic thing about Elio isn't the terrible trauma he's been through, it's the fact that literally all he wants is for humans to compliment him but he's so blatanty fake and bad at social cues that nobody likes him.
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Most tragic thing about Elio isn't the terrible trauma he's been through, it's the fact that literally all he wants is for humans to compliment him but he's so blatanty fake and bad at social cues that nobody likes him.
#“His smiles are never genuine” Tell him he did a good job ONCE and I swear you'll see the difference#elio tag
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It really bothers me when people online conflate "popular business" and "large business." People act like a small business is no longer small if it becomes popular enough online, and then start holding it to the standards they'd expect from a large business. Just because a business has a lot of followers doesn't mean they suddenly have access to non-stop factory manufacturing or can sell their items for as cheap as a large business could. I also often see people start to encourage others to shop at newer, less popular businesses instead of the popular small business which just feels scummy. Like, yes, please absolutely boost and support small businesses, but don't act like supporting one small business INSTEAD of another more popular one is like, the same as telling people not to shop at Target or something. At the end of the day you're still trying to hurt the income of a small independent shop.
And what especially gets to me is when people start having large-business expectations when it comes to pricing, batch drops, and shipping time, but then have all the small business expectations for personalization. They want individually, cutely packaged products with thank you notes and free goodies, but don't want to treat the business owners like small teams or even individuals doing all this work.
#TikTok inspired rant lol#I feel like TikTok ppl have genuinely bonkers expectations of small businesses when they get popular
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I can not express how much easier it is to immediately find people who can draw Elio well. He's just a human ("human") twink. No floppy ears or animal nose, no tail or antennae, nothin. Just a straight up guy.
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Started making a really long post and got tired of it halfway through, which tells me ppl DEFINITELY would’ve got tired of reading it, so I’m trying again but shorter.
Pre Bug-Hunt Elio’s detail oriented nature was a quirk more than anything. He liked to clean, liked to organize data and run statistical programs. One of the few things his human coworkers liked about him was that he could always mix a drink perfectly right every time. He even would’ve been a good baker if they’d ever had the supplies for it. To him, disorganization and impracticality were annoying but ultimately harmless human quirks.
Post Bug-Hunt Elio still has all those traits, but his need for everything to be clean and organized has gotten more intense. Thankfully he works in a laboratory so it’s very easy for his coworkers to justify. But I think it’s developed into a coping mechanism for Elio to feel in control of his life by controlling his environment. He has more control of his life than he ever used to, but he’s also more afraid of losing that control because he’s terrified of being “discovered” as a malfunctioning, dangerous android. He can’t undo what happened during Bug Hunt and he can’t get rid of these feelings he’s having, but he can make sure every piece of equipment is properly put away and everything in the lab is sterilized after all the humans go home.
I think a little part of it too is that his ego’s been bruised. Before BH he was very confident that he was smarter and more rational than humans. Now he experiences irrational reactions to things and worries about things that are extremely logically improbable. He’s a fuck up. He’s a broken Android. It comforts him to try and make everything around him fit into place, because he feels like he doesn’t belong.
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do people not understand that the point of legalizing sex work is regulating sex work. so that sex workers can like, be legally protected if they experience violence and such violence can be prevented by putting legal guard rails in place. instead of our current system that leaves sex workers with no recourse or protection
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Little update on Angel Elio:
I think most Angels have the ability to sense Devils, and guardian angels have the ability to peek in on and sense the person/people they’re assigned to!
But Elio, due to his Affliction, has a unique Parallel Viewing ability. When desired Elio can see multiple people or places at once. It’s helpful to avoid other angels and danger in general. In everyday life he mostly uses it to check which coffee shop is least busy or how bad the traffic is on his different routes. At work he’ll use it to peek at multiple clients at once to see if one’s going to be more annoying to deal with than the others.
He also uses it to check on people, especially his “friends” at work. He’s trying to be helpful. It gives him the ability to walk into the room with the exact solution to someone’s problem, glimpse in at their hobbies, know they made it home safe, or find lost items for them. Unfortunately this has the exact opposite effect on his relationships with his coworkers. People find it incredibly unsettling how he just Appears already knowing what problem they’re having. Him finding lost objects has caused some “joking” suspicions that he’s the one stealing things in the first place to return later. He’s careful not to reveal information he knows he shouldn’t have, but sometimes he slips up, and he can only use the “You told me before you like to sew, remember?” Card so many times, especially when he’s a coworker that people Don’t often just tell things. Most people assume he’s been eavesdropping. Some joke he might be an actual stalker.
#Elio tag#Affliction is capitalized bc that’s what I’ve decided to call angels who#have almost become Devils! They’re the Afflicted#And they gain new abilities that would’ve been some of their Devil powers
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Been thinking more about Elio Angel AU, and here's sorta what I'm imagining
This isn't really a religious thing, more just using Angels and Devils as familiar words for supernatural, extraplaner species. Angels and Devils are known, factual being to humanity, a-la Chainsaw Man and its own devils.
Basic gist is god is Gone (dead or left or something, I don't know. Maybe the Angels don't even know but he's been gone for a very long time). Very original, I know. Anyways, the Angels now have dedicated themselves to the protection and guidance of human beings, God's favorite creation, and function in an extremely hierarchical society, with the Thrones at the very top. Devils began with the original fallen angels, whose forms became twisted and corrupted in their fury and anguish. Their purpose is to seek revenge upon humanity and the angels, either through direct attacks of violence, or by more subtle influences meant to draw humans to ruin. So it has become the job of Angels to defend humans from Devils and destroy them. Problem is, Devils come from angels. When angels feel too intense of emotions, so emotions that they become all-consuming, they will be corrupted into Devils, minds overtaken. The oldest Devils tend to be the most intelligent since they've had a very long time to understand and harness that feeling, though the intelligence of a Devil is also connected to the cause of their emotion. Complex feelings tend to lead to complex Devils. Angels who transform from simple fury or despair have a harder time thinking passed their singular distress. These Devils also tend to be killed off the quickest. They don't have the forethought to run away or hide, they just start to lash out and attack whatever they can, which draws the attention of Angels. New Spawns barely exist long enough to even understand what has happened to them before they're killed. Angels can be killed as well, if it's swift, but Devils rarely are. Usually what happens is the angel will be in so much agony before they die that they become a Devil instead.
Elio is terrified of dying. He's afraid of becoming a Devil, but terrified even more of being slaughtered by Angels while he's miserable and confused, and he's one of very VERY few angels who has felt themselves turning and was able to escape it. Angels like this are considered a liability. Angels are not highly emotional beings, so once a feeling that intense has been experienced there's really no going back. It's considered a wound, festering until the infection becomes too much. It's a mercy to put these angels down and prevent them the suffering. Elio is terrified of dying. After a very traumatic experience, Elio has chosen to abandon his life in Heaven and live among humans on Earth, just trying to blend in and avoid being discovered.
#These are all just spitballs btw it'll probably all change later#But I'm havin fun with it yk? We're figuring stuff out#Very inspired by Chainsaw Man and Madoka Magica#The whole thing of Angels becoming the devils from intense emotion is a madoka ripoff lol#elio tag
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Fallen Angel Elio is a weirdly good parallel. Why does android translate so well to Angel?
#Littlw yellow birdy <3#It’s the whole like. Created with a particular purpose. Not given the same love and freedom as humans. mistakes much less forgiven.#Difficulty understanding genuine human emotion. Only familiar with humans as an outsider.#Etc etc
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Been thinking about Elio today, so here's some assorted android thoughts:
-Androids can feel physical touch!! Obviously it's not exactly the same as a human feels it, but they have little temperature and pressure sensing nodes lining their artificial skin
-Androids are quite strong, but their internal structures are actually easier to break than one might think. It's a lot of small, precise pieces of technology, and their "muscles" aren't locked into sockets the same way humans' are. Their muscles are more elastic, allowing a much wider range of movement. However, they do still have to be careful about how hard they work their muscles because theirs can't heal/self repair the way a human's can.
-Androids do not need to eat and drink, but those designed to work closely with human teams have the ability to. Companies now claim that this is for comfort and ease of socializing with human crew. Many suspect that it's actually a tactic for putting androids on human crews without their knowledge. Elio does drink water, but doesn't eat. He's capable of it, but has found that humans find it mroe disturbing than comforting. Not to mention it's a waste of food. However, him having a glass of water seems to relax people somewhat. He suspects it's because it's both casual and non-wasteful. In reality it's usually because people feel more comfortable knowing exactly what he's doing with his hands.
-Androids have internal cooling systems, mainly a cooling fluid. However if the android is overheating it will kick on a series of fans, requiring them to take in and release "breaths" to assist the airflow. This is designed to look like panting or gasping. Overheating can occur due to high-stress factors kicking systems into higher functioning. Elio, after the events of Bug Hunt, will sometimes overheat even in a mild or low-stress situation, causing gasping and shaking. (Basically he gets android anxiety attacks)
-Androids are always given a number of randomized personality quirks to help them feel more friendly and human. In Elio's case, he enjoys music and is detail oriented. He prefers a clean and organized space, and having things out of place bothers him. He's prone to collecting things because he feels the need to give unsorted objects a place. He was always best suited to data oragnization or other lab-based tasks. He just keept getting put onto expedition crews because humans often don't want androids doing research with them. They don't enjoy having to share any of the credit with them. ---Other personality traits, like the instinct to make humans happy, his general agreeableness, and his calm demeanor are all standard android traits. How an adroid interprets them is dependent on experience though. Elio deciding to keep humans happy by manipulating them and lower himself to make them feel superior and in control is his own interpretation of how he's supposed to accomplish these tasks. ---Elio's sentimentality, as well as his eventual fear of death, fear of guns, (arguable) obsession with alien life, and sudden anxiety were never intended personality traits. They developed entirely on their own.
#MOST of this is stuff taken directly from the androids from Alien btw!! Like a lot of this is not my own original ideas#Every couple months I remember this character exists and hes my whole world for a couple days before falling back into temporary oblivion <#Elio tag
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Sometimes i randomly remember "who are you? I love you too" and have to have a little cry about it
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