cryptiddeer

[cryptiddeer]

[cryptiddeer]

He’s here, he’s there, he’s everywhere. Who you gonna call?

[cryptiddeer]

Wasted Potential

[cryptiddeer]

whatever else you have to say about katy perry i do have to say "do you ever feel like a plastic bag" is maybe one of the all time funniest ways to start a song

[cryptiddeer]

I do actually care marginally about the guy in that reddit screenshot who voted for Trump and is now worried that he might lose his medicaid funding because I did not fucking stutter when I said healthcare is a human right but the people losing their internships and job offers to the hiring freeze are straight up hilarious.

[cryptiddeer]

"empowering women by sending katy perry to space for 2 minutes" shut the fuck up. samantha cristoforetti was the first female commander of the international space station and she became an astronaut because of star trek. and there is a real chance she is a kirk/spock shipper

[cryptiddeer]

she doesn't bite

[cryptiddeer]

TWO OF THEM!!! 🐏🐐

they are so silly… silly little fellas…!

[cryptiddeer]

Danny and Dan are going on a shopping spree with Vlad's credit card in Gotham, because they want to spend as much money as possible and Vlad is terrified of the city.

This means they have as much time as Dani can buy them by preventing Vlad from calling the bank.

As they're shopping in only the ritziest district, they get stopped by a reporter.

"Mr. Drake-Wayne, Mr. Timothy Drake-Wayne, are you a twin?"

Dan and Danny look at each other.

Look back at the reporter.

"Actually, we're triplets. We keep the ugly one at home." Dan says, completely deadpan.

"O...oh. So which one of you is Mr. Timothy? You all look identical!" The Reporter gushes, flustered at getting the first scoop on the story.

"He's at home," Danny says, a shit eating grin that's a perfect match to Dan's stretching across his face.

Danny and Dan aren't related to this Tim guy at all, but they're still gonna fuck with him.

~~~~~~

Across Gotham, Tim, who just found out that he was actually adopted into the Drake Family, is not amused.

[cryptiddeer]

10/10 dad joke

[cryptiddeer]

hur hur

Tried drawing a more accurate Freddy!

[cryptiddeer]

all that said the guy with my car insurance company who answered the phone was so fucking funny. he had a heavy Georgia accent which endeared me to him immediately and he was sooo worried about me and apologetic that there was no one to send to my aid and I said "that's okay. if i end up missing though they're gonna interview you as the last person who heard from me. what if there's a documentary?" and he said "ooooooo, can I start drama?" I said, "well, what kind?" And he said, "I'm gonna tell them you said you saw a green flash in the sky over the field and I heard strange voices then the line went dead."

genuinely obsessed with him to this very day.

[cryptiddeer]

YOU HAVE ENTERED

RADICAL SATURDAY

[cryptiddeer]

doctor prescribes a joint and a cup of coffee on the porch while listening to the morning birdsong

[cryptiddeer]

come closer i am a normal listener of music

[cryptiddeer]

[cryptiddeer]

it’s the little things