cryptidsimp99

[cryptidsimp99]

[cryptidsimp99]

I remember during puberty talk in 6th grade they handed out permission slips for parents to sign if they didn’t want their kids getting sex ed and like five students ended up having to wait in the library while the rest of us learned about puberty and health stuff.

Afterwards during lunch recess almost everyone in class spent our time telling those five kids what we learned and showing them our handouts.

[cryptidsimp99]

[cryptidsimp99]

I think one of the reasons drag kings aren’t as popular as drag queens, aside from the fact that straight women don’t like us, is that people are uncomfortable acknowledging masculinity as a performance. Like we as a society know that femininity is a performance, with its own costumes and rules. Masculinity is also a performance, and nothing makes that more clear than someone making an exaggeration of it

[cryptidsimp99]

Former Minnesota Vikings punter, Chris Kluwe, who was blacklisted from the league for standing up for marriage equality, speaks at a city council meeting where he calls Trump a Nazi. He is subsequently arrested and carried out by police.

[cryptidsimp99]

*goes to egg your house but I find out you're vegan so I ¼ cup of unsweetened applesauce your house instead*

[cryptidsimp99]

Big day for deranged evangelical freaks

[cryptidsimp99]

"You were in my dreams last night" yeah our souls have been clawing through our chests to get to each other since we met but I'm glad you noticed

[cryptidsimp99]

[cryptidsimp99]

[cryptidsimp99]

[cryptidsimp99]

[cryptidsimp99]

everyone who ever tried to kill you failed btw

[cryptidsimp99]

“tattoos are going out of style” they’ve been around for a thousand years im sorry you’re conservative now get well soon ig

[cryptidsimp99]

Bartender: thanks for stopping that bar fight, spiderman. Can I get you a drink? It’s on the house

Peter: thank you, but I can’t

Bartender: why not

Peter:

Bartender:

Peter, trying not to give his age away: I’m pregnant

[cryptidsimp99]