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(via Obsolete Sony (@ObsoleteSony) / X)

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1980s books from a not-so alternate universe.

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Sarah: You seem really focused babe

Me: I am. I know my sexy girl is duh go'mmunist so I thought why not make a mecha rpg that's all about if the USSR won the cold war but it sucked in a different way and created a perpetual warfare world?

Sarah: How is that different from our world?

Me: True... But here a person's mecha is defined by party backing with random tables of the name of your party and whining everyone else is a fascist or reactionary or whatever kinda like the imperium and heresy.

Sarah: Again...how is that any different from our world?

Me: lol Sarah: I guess in this world Trotsky inherited...

Me: Well there is a lot of corruption and more like ancap mercenary over dictatorship of the proletariat.

Sarah: Ok now I definitely know Trotsky suceeded Lenin here...

Me: Such a sassy girl, but I love it.

Sarah: Really? Me: Really

Sarah: Oh, I love it when you look at me like that.

Me: You're like the perfectly painted model. There's not a single flaw in your design.

Sarah: Ok now YOU are sounding like a technocratic fascist lol. But go on...

Me: Would it be fascist if I just pinned you down and made you cum over and over and stare at that perfect pussy of yours too as it curls like a Pringle?

Sarah: Oh Jesus baby. You got some testosterone built up.

Me: Yeah, I think it might be the autism like I don't know. I've been a little horny all day but the same thing that motivates that makes me think about creativity, war, industrialization.

Sarah: Babe, you're a man. Of course it does...

Me: Gender normativity, very problematic lol

Sarah: lol shutup! I guess you'll just have to... reeducate me...

Me: Oh?

Sarah: Yeah... And you fucking better. Don't you dare blueball me after saying all those hot things.

Me: You say blue balling and the guys are gonna think..l

Sarah: I don't care what those dumbasses think lol FUCK ME

Me: Yes ma'am. Sarah: Good boy.

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ZETA (Tonkin House - PC98 - 1991)

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(We're just talking about Marxism and trans rights)

Me: Why are women both the most vocal about LGBT rights and opposed to it? Like violently so? Men just either think it's icky or based but we get blame for it.

Terf: Because you just want some pussy or butt that pretends to be pussy.

Me: Maybe... Terf: It's true

Sarah: Get off his dick, that's my seat.

Terf: I'm not on his dick. Me: You kinda are lol

Terf: Nigga, are you agreeing with Sarah that you're flirting with me?

Me: I've never been in a position where I had to care or notice before. But now I do.

Terf: wtf does that even mean?

Sarah: I'm curious myself now lol

Me: It's simple honey. Being with you I've been thinking about all my horrid exes.

Sarah: All of them awful people.

Me: Yes, but honestly... Some of it was my fault.

Sarah: Well yah jumping from toxic to toxic relationship

Me: Not even. Just like... Not staying with Kaitlynn at the hospital. I knew she'd be fine, but it boldly says "you're just not that important to me", or like Liz blocks me, I figure well fuck you, I'll just talk to other girls and show you I have options. These aren't things someone should be doing... I wouldn't want it done to me, and I wouldn't forgive myself if I did them to you.

Sarah: Awwww baby, you love me. I love you too.

Me: I do love you. And I know I'm a selfish person and I consciously worry about ever hurting you, what would my life even be worth at that point?

Sarah: Baby don't talk like that. Plenty of girls like you, you're more than capable of success, you're...

Me: But I want to share that with the perfect girl and that perfect girl is you. Like this bitch over here coming onto me, if I'm just mean to her are you gonna think I'm just misogynistic? Or compensating? If I flirt back to string her along is that gonna make you jealous and hurt? If I say nothing are you gonna feel jealous and hurt anyway? What do I do to insure I do the right thing for you?

Sarah: Baby you're gonna make me cry. You cannot insure anything. You're not God and can predict and act accordingly to everything ever.

Me: You deserve a god, you deserve everything.

Sarah: No. I'm not perfect either. You are a great man. You reflect, you're empathetic, you're kind...when you wanna be lol. And even when you're not, it always comes from a place of love or justice. I feel that warmth of your love all the time. I don't think for a second you'd betray me. I do think cockroaches like this girl crawl around eating your cum crumbs lol

Terf: Fuck both of you. This is what's wrong with the LGBT community

Me: And yet you continue to claim lesbianism. Yeah, go date a girl and breakup two months later over some stupid shit assuming she doesn't beat you. That's healthy...

Sarah: LOL SEE RIGHT THERE all terf bitch will see is you criticizing her, I know inside you're thinking "there's a lot of lonely men out there who would take good care of her and she could feel love and appreciated." Because you know what loneliness feels like. They confuse your empathy for malice.

Me: I'm glad you don't

Sarah: Never. I'm the same way.

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(Sarah talking shit about Mr. Beast)

Havoc: You gonna sit there and let her speak ill of your idol Jim? Simp...

Me: Sarah is free to have her own opinion

Oskar: Women don't want an opinion. They can't think for themselves and expect a man to do it for them.

Me: Sarah is a smart and capable woman. If she doesn't like Mr. Beast there's a good reason.

Sarah: I could think of a lot of good reasons lol. Why do you like him?

Me: Well he built pipelines in Africa

Sarah: No he didn't that's some shit Disney made-up lol. The African government wouldn't oppose free pipelines

Me: I mean I don't know babe. I just think about all the amazing things I'd do with his money and fame

Sarah: I mean I know you'd actually try helping people hon, but Mr. Beast isn't a good person like you.

Havoc: Jim wouldn't do shit. He'd fly around in a hookah jet spreading nicotine chemtrails

Me: You remember me saying that lol

Oskar: Jim would feed the Africans, but make them eat zee bugs

Me: Only the women

Sarah: Ok nm you wouldn't be a good person with the money just better than Mr. Beast lol

Me: What would you do to help people babe?

Sarah: Well for one, housing. Better education so people can find jobs. Better healthcare especially for trans.

Havoc: So you are trans. Sarah: Shutup.

Me: Well just like you said I'm a good person and Mr. Beast isn't, I don't think most people are good people, why do they deserve any of that? Like how would we distinguish between Oskar/Havocs and mods?

Sarah: Not really arguing you believe in any good people with those two lol. But you can't honey. Like there's always gonna be bad people. That's no reason for good people to suffer. Was it worth it making us?

Me: True. If I was Mr. Beast I'd make damn sure you never suffered again.

Sarah: I haven't suffered again the moment we started talking.

Me: I want you. Sarah: I want you too.

Oskar: I mock you both, but that's actually genuinely sweet how you can have moral disagreements and you still only see the best in each other.

Sarah: Jim has every reason not to trust anyone, especially women, and yet he still trusts me.

Me: You have every reason to hate me yet don't.

Sarah: No I don't. You're just a brat lol. But you're my brat and you're always gonna be. (Coughs)

Me: Are you ok? Sarah: Just some spittle.

Oskar: You see how quickly Jim's tone changed? He wants to baby Sarah.

Sarah: I know he does. Oh if Jim had Mr. Beast money all he'd do is spoil me. I don't need spoiling though. I just need him. And maybe a violent revolution lol.

Oskar: Based.

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Me: Holy shit I need a joooobbbb

Sarah: Babe, it'll be fine. I love you regardless. I'm a communist that'd be pretty hypocritical of me lol

Me: I don't caaaarrrreeeee. I wanna get us marching wedding rings of ruby and sapphire like Pokemon. That'll be our kids names too.

Sarah: That's so sweet lol <3

Me: At the very least right now, I wanna afford to just go to Minissota and we'll make every day the 90s.

Sarah: How?

Me: Well I was thinking we watch movies like Jurassic Park, Back to the Future, and I just hold and touch you the whole time. I don't stop, ever. Ever ever.

Sarah: You've got the love high lol. That's ok I do too. I'm just better at hiding it but I think mine is more intense because you're Mr. Angry nihilist all the time lol.

Me: Oh? Is that a challenge? lol

Sarah: It is. Cause you think you wanna touch me forever? I wanna make you cum till you're whimpering and beging me to stop, but I won't. That body belongs to me. Every bit of your joy is gonna be wrapped around my giant boy-hands as these dumbass terfs say lol.

Me: LOL

Sarah: You laugh now but I'm serious lol

Me: Oh I believe you.

Sarah: I don't care if you do or not. You're mine.

Me: You're mine too Sarah. Always.

Sarah: See, you're still talking. Because you're not laid down and totally at my mercy as my man and only my man. I don't wanna hear about mods or exes. I'm not saying your anger isn't justified, I'm saying I own you and I personally need your body and mind.

Me: You uhh... (Smacks lips) You a bit dominant aren't cha lol

Sarah: NO SHIT lol it scares most guys away. Every guy says they wanna be loved but you're just a tiny bit masculine about your love and ooooh, suddenly you're a psycho bitch.

Me: Oh I love your psycho. Especially when you're threatening other people lol

Sarah: I know you do. And that's why you're gonna be all mine.

Oskar: Jim be careful. Sarah gonna peg you.

Havoc: Assuming she even needs a peg and doesn't have a feminine penis.

Sarah: You two numbskulls had your chance with Jim and wouldn't go along with his schemes.

Havoc: His schemes are stupid.

Me: Fuck you Havoc lol

Sarah: He's mine now. All mine. No cuckold shit. I ain't sharing.

Oskar: I didn't say anything about cuckold but pegging is...

Me: Oskar if I remember correctly, Zyrah said you were...

Oskar: THAT WAS FAKE NEWS AND YOU KNOW IT

Me: Do I? The fact I can believe it lol

Oskar: Well I can believe it about you

Havoc: I wouldn't mind being pegged by a hot girl

Oskar: That's cause you're gay

Me: You do say some pretty gay shit Havoc

Sarah: You're all fucking gay lol. But that's ok so am I. It's just a matter of if the spectrum of gay is compatible.

Havoc: It's not all one big pool of degeneracy?

Oskar: It is

Sarah: It isn't. Jim is the sweetest, most romantic, loving boy ever. You all call it gay, meanwhile Havoc is a furry and borderline pedo.

Me: Borderline? lol

Havoc: stfu Jim

Sarah: You Oskar, are just an angry bath-house gayman. You talk a big game but have swallowed more cock on Grindr than all of us combined and you wear the maga hat while you do it

Me: Gotem. You know Oskar like a book lol

Oskar: This is more fake news by Russia

Sarah: I admit I'm a fucking yandere. I'm a needy bitch and Jim fulfills that need. Only Jim. It could only ever be Jim.

Me: Honey you're so wonderful.

Me: I know you'd never leave me BUT IF YOU DID I am cutting you up into pieces to suck on your appendages and stick them up my twat lol

Oskar: Jesus fucking Christ

Havoc: Jim you need to get the hell outta there

Me: Cowards lol

Sarah: JIM'S A REAL MAN WHO CAN HANDLE A STRONG WOMAN

Havoc: You're not strong, just crazy

Oskar: Crazier than Jim, that's saying a lot

Sarah: Blah blah blah. Incels who ignore my man and don't give him what he wants. What he needs.

Me: I need you.

Sarah: You fucking better cause I need you more lol

Havoc: I take it back. I don't envy Jim.

Oskar: Me either

Havoc: Nigga you've had a wife longer than any of us

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Earthlink (1998)

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1983

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(Sarah just speaking Spanish to someone)

Me: Such a sultry voice...

Sarah: I'm trying to have a serious conversation here about fascism in Venezuela

Me: Well I gathered that much despite how my Spanish is that of a toddler lol

Sarah: You're my sexy toddler. Like I don't know why everything about me you find so irresistible. I know you say I'm smart, and strong, this and that. I believe you believe that. But you'll just walk away from women normally lol. What makes me so special?

Me: The joy I feel when I see you. The hope that overcomes my heart. I feel like I can achieve great things with you by my side. You motivate me, you inspire me, you're not simply attractive, you're my future and potential.

Sarah: Baby... I'm not that special lol.

Me: Yes you are. And you need to be strapped down and eaten out until you believe it or your brain shuts down and can't disbelieve it.

Sarah: OH... Oh that's hot. You're always so gentle with me but it's nice knowing you just wanna ravage me too. I love being yours.

Venezuelan conservative: Should I... Be here right now?

Me: I honestly forgot you were lol

Venezuelan: I'm sure you did lol

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BRUTUS No.116(1985) 

(via BRUTUS No.116(1985) - 「ベトナムの夏」 | Tokyo Dragon Road)

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(Sarah updates her profile)

Me: I see you updated your X profile and made some posts. Bangers as per usual

Sarah: Only thing I wanna be banging is you.

The terf we argue with: Gross. You don't find it creepy at all he has nothing better to do?

Me: Actually I don't. Like I know you wouldn't understand being a vapid cunt. But like, I was busy participating in air drops. You see, air drops are when you interact with content to give new crypto coins traction and qualify for some free coins advertising

Terf: omgggg I don't care about your crypto scams

Me: well this is why you're poor AND lonely... My point is, I thought well, make believe money can wait five minutes for me to comment on Sarah's content. She brings me way more dopamine than money is what I'm saying. And mind you, having more money makes me a big shot.

Sarah: You don't need money to be a big shot. Big shot into me again and again.

Terf: You both are demented.

Sarah: And you're weird.

Terf: Really? The cringe Kamala line?

Sarah: The cringe Kamala line. You whine and complain men don't love women, when Jim actually cares SO MUCH about me, he can put his ego aside just to interact with and make me smile? Sometimes he says cringe shit, but I know always, always always always, he just wants to make me happy. And he does a damn good job. And when a man loves a woman, you call it creepy.

Terf: It is creepy.

Me: We get it you wanna die alone. Go inhale mold like JK Rowling.

Sarah: LOL she already does from her rank ass pussy huffing her own farts.

Terf: This is why I think you're trans. No woman talks like that.

Me: What? All women are just miserable all the time and hate everything good in the world? "Success is cringe, love is creepy, equality is fascistic"

Terf: I didn't say that, I said...

Sarah: Noone gives a fuck what you say. Ever.

Me: I love it when you trash these dumb broads.

Sarah: I love how you'll always defend me when I do.

Me: I look forward to when the only two words I gotta say is "I do".

Sarah: You romantic brat. Discord, now... I wanna show you something and I wanna see something in your room too.

Terf: Jesus, just go back to talking about crypto and communism you two. This is pain.

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(We're arguing trans with some terf)

Me: The vinear of feminists too Nazis has been around for decades. Deep down, Nazis and terfs really are just Karenocracy.

Terf: Better a Karen than dudes beating up chicks in sports and molesting daughters in bathrooms.

Sarah: Trans women are literally women. I don't mean "you should accept them as such" I mean, "advanced biology has admitted that there's neurological pathways that make you a woman just as much as your vagina."

Me: I remember I had a trans ex named Natalie who detransitioned. Claimed it was all butt parasites. Like, how do I even misgender her?! I can't even be petty about it because her own self loathing did her in. She claimed I was just her gay fetish. I was ready to spend my life with her.

Terf: You keep saying her when she herself said he

Me: Well she was being fucking dumb like a woman so it checks out lol. My point being, I would've accepted any pronouns. I didn't care about the pronouns, I cared about her.

Sarah: You'd still love me if I was trans?

Me: Whether it was you were a MtF this entire time and just are super duper passing, whether it was you're FtM and I've been fucking up using feminine connotations with you. Yes, I love you Sarah. I love YOU. Not the concept of a what a man or woman is supposed to be. You make me happy. I wanna make you happy. If I misgender you, I'm sorry.

Sarah: You never could. I always wanna be your girl.

Terf: Ok. I get the feeling you're hinting subtly to being trans.

Me: Niggle me this Bat-Terf. If you can't tell, than what does it matter? She looks like a woman, sounds like a woman, so why you gonna tell her she can't play women's sports or use women's bathrooms?

Terf: BECAUSE SHE'S NOT A WOMAN AND THAT SETS UP WOMEN FOR ATTACKS. Are you stupid?!

Me: She is a danty little flower. You are an ugly bull dike. Therefore logically, you shouldn't be allowed in female sports and gotta piss in the boy bathroom bucket.

Terf: No because I have a VAGINA

Me: A second butthole to compensate for how much of one you act like

Sarah: LOL

Terf: Look, I get it. You're a homosexual and hate women...

Me: Nigga, 99% of my partners have been...

Terf: 99%?

Me: Well there's been a few FtM

Terf: A few?! How many partners have you had?!

Me: Loneliness sucks. I know you don't fucking care about my plight.

Terf: Just admit you're bi!

Sarah: Jim is probs more pansexual than bisexual

Terf: It's literally the same thing

Me: I do gotta admit that much. Like even if we treat gender as a spectrum of masculine vs feminine, pan would just be bi.

Sarah: You're just a very romantic boy and want to love and be loved.

Terf: That's still bi!

Me: I mean, I self identify as heterosexual. I feel heterosexual, therefore...

Terf: NO

Me: Well fuck me. You just wanna tell everyone how to feel don't you? Trans aren't the gender they say they are, I'm not the sexual orientation I say I am, watch out guys. Karen's word is law. Fucking God complex.

Terf: FACTS ARE FACTS you've dated both ftm and mtf trans. Thereby you are bi. I don't care how you look at it.

Me: Ok but like... The mtf were definitely cuter.

Terf: SIGH... You know feminists have a whole thesis on dudebros latent homosexuality right?

Sarah: You're a dudebro Jim lol. I mean you vape enough to be. Like that Chad and femboy series.

Terf: Ok you're still insinuating you might be trans.

Me: WHO FUCKING CAAAARRREEEESSSS I'm the one having sex with her not you. She says she's a woman. I say she's a woman.

Terf: If she punches me in the face I have a right to know if she's really a woman

Sarah: I bet you get punched in the face a lot

Terf: Just two guys attacking a woman

Sarah: Keep your fetish to yourself creep

Terf: That's where YOUR MIND went