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[crypttic-ghostt]

[crypttic-ghostt]

[crypttic-ghostt]

why do i try !!!!! why do i even bother trying to initiate contact with her anymore !!!! it’s so forced !!!!! i’m pathetic jesus christ i still can’t let go

[crypttic-ghostt]

i am so desperate to maintain some sort of relationship with her but it’s so evident that i need to let go !!! she is moving on and i need to move on too. she doesn’t talk to me much anymore and i need to accept we aren’t going to stay friends. i was an idiot for even thinking that at all.

[crypttic-ghostt]

when is it appropriate to text your ex and ask why you weren’t good enough ? asking for a friend.

[crypttic-ghostt]

i just want to ask her when did she stop loving me. when was i not good enough to put in effort for. when did she realize she wouldn’t try anymore

i miss her so much

[crypttic-ghostt]

at the end of the day i’ll never be good enough

[crypttic-ghostt]

I feel like I am not enough and too much at the same time

[crypttic-ghostt]

Talking to someone every single day for hours can be pretty destructive because there will come a day where you don’t speak at all and it’s going to be the loneliest feeling in the world.

Unknown

[crypttic-ghostt]

[crypttic-ghostt]

[crypttic-ghostt]

someone: everything happens for a reason!

me, traumatised: what was the reason? what was the reason?????

[crypttic-ghostt]

after breaking up with my ex i go through periods where i actually end up convincing myself that we could end up back together and be happy and then after that i’m hit with the stark realization that in fact we won’t ever get back together and they are quickly distancing themselves from me and don’t want to talk to me as much even though we said we’d be friends still. they leave me on read and i have to initiate every conversation and it hurts so much. i know i need to let go and stop bothering them but i’m so heartbroken and i cry over them every single day and i want so badly for things to go back to what they used to be and it kills me that it won’t. it hurts that i miss them and still love them and it feels that they have already moved on so quickly. three years has to mean something right? but it doesn’t.

[crypttic-ghostt]

my urge to massively and publically self destruct so someone finally proves they care about my wellbeing is at war with my common sense and terror of being seen as a burden and abandoned

[crypttic-ghostt]

“I was not careful. I was reckless, headlong. He was another knife, I could feel it. A different sort, but a knife still. I did not care. I thought: give me the blade. Some things are worth spilling blood for.”

— Madeline Miller, Circe (via derangedrhythms)

[crypttic-ghostt]

sleeping with men always fills me with regret for days afterward. i hate it.

[crypttic-ghostt]

i am SO sexually frustrated and i want this guy to invite me to his house but i know the sex will be really mediocre and i feel bad about it for days after but i’m so desperate for attention