crystal-methionine

[crystal-methionine]

Alrighty. Time for my annual pilgrimage back here to give you my thoughts on Eurovision. Here are my thoughts on the 36 countries that participated.

1. Finland 🇫🇮 Erika Vikman - Ich Komme: Girl, she came and so did I. I have no notes for this song and performance. Erika is such a performer and that song has never gotten old for me. The fact she didn’t make top 10 is criminal. My winner since UMK songs were released. 10/10

2. Latvia 🇱🇻 Tautumeitas - Bur Man Laimi: Before the performances this week, this wasn’t as high on the list for me. It was mid-teens bc I loved the atmosphere it created. But the staging of this brought it to life and I was loving every minute. I never blinked and lost interest. That is how you stage an ethnic song, everyone take notes. 13th is respectable, but honestly should be higher 10/10

3. Albania 🇦🇱 Shkodra Electonike - Zjerm: Albania has become a powerhouse in my eye over the past few years. When the favorite doesn’t win at their national final, it’s for a good reason bc you get this. I normally love their entries and then it falls off on me bc it’s been months. Zjerm only grew higher and higher for me. As each other song came out, it stayed solidly at my top 10. What a great year. A deserved top 10 finish. Would have been happy if they won. 9.9/10

4. Austria 🇦🇹 JJ - Wasted Love: absolutely was fighting for my life during the televote sequence. I was begging Europe to please give him more points in the jury just in case, but we made it. A deserved winner for sure. The staging was so good and he sounded good every time. The pattern of Sweden -> Country with red base and white cross host -> all Nordics qualify -> Austria win was right. Sweden will be mad next year if they don’t win again… 9.8/10

5. Italy 🇮🇹 Lucio Corsi - Volevo esse un duro: At first, I was put off after it was announced Lucio would get a shot at Eurovision after the first guy said no, once I saw his makeup. The more I listened without seeing the visuals, I liked it more and more each time. Then it all clicked when I saw the first semi and his place in my top skyrocketed. I was so scared Europe was going to write him off, but I was pleasantly surprised he got a top 10 place. Well deserved. 9.5/10

6. Portugal 🇵🇹 NAPA - Deslocado: I felt like I was one of the only ones (besides the Portuguese) who loved this song. I didn’t have the time to keep up with their national final this year so I just listened after it was announced they would represent Portugal. It rose up to my top 10. Then I saw the reactions and everyone putting them 35th for the most part. I screamed in joy when they qualified. I didn’t care if it was barely or anything. They created such a calm vibe that was missing. 9.4/10

7. Poland 🇵🇱 Justyna Steckzowska - GAJA: Another song that was always high in my top from beginning to end. This woman is mother. 52 and doing all that stunting and never faltering vocally. She could have had the worst staging and I still would be living and in awe. She deserved so much more than she got with the jury. Glad she got a ton of televote points. Should have been top 10. 9.3/10

8. Switzerland 🇨🇭 Zoe Me - Voyage: Many songs this year didn’t take me on a journey. This one did though. I think if this had been from France and not hosts Switzerland, it wouldn’t have gotten 0 points from the public. But also how did this get on par results in the televote as UK???? Glad the jury gave her love. 9.2/10

9. Germany 🇩🇪 Abor & Tynna - Baller: I was shocked that Germany didn’t mess up the national final voting. I actually liked a song from Germany for the entire season??? I think the performance was good. Definitely the most fun entry Germany has sent out in a long while. Loved it was in German. 9/10

10. France 🇫🇷 Louane - Maman: France never fails to put out one of the most interesting stagings and the streak continues. The song itself was also a powerful anthem. I’m not normally a big ballad person, but clearly this year I am bc a lot of the top 10 are ballads. 9/10

11. Lithuania 🇱🇹 Katarsis - Tavo Akys: I definitely have a still-going emo phase and with this being the only emo-like song this year imo, I was immediately drawn to it. But also vocals!!! Katarsis sounded good every single time without fail. Plus the song was pure emotion and I could feel every minute of it. I loved it and am probably the only one. I wish they had been closer to top 10 because it was deserved so. 9/10

12. Sweden 🇸🇪 KAJ - Bara Bada Bastu: I loved this song so much, especially the Swedish language (finally!!). While it was a strong entry and I probably would have been fine with it winning like the odds showed, I am glad that we get to see someone else besides Sweden win. I think people might say Mans should have gone bc he probably would have won, but I’m glad we got new people from Sweden and they deserved the place they got for sure. 8.9/10

13. Norway 🇳🇴 Kyle Alessandro - Lighter: Such a bop. I still got goosebumps at the riffs at the end bc Kyle can sing. He is such a charismatic performer. I think the song was ok, but he’s what made the whole package great. I do think he should have been higher at the end of the night, but I’m glad he qualified as I was nervous for Norway given the quality of the rest of MGP this year. 8.8/10

14. Denmark 🇩🇰 Sissal - Hallucination: Queen of Eurodance this year. Sissal was one of the few I kept up with on socials and she is hilarious. And she can sing! Like sing sing. I don’t think she ever faltered. While the performance wasn’t as high energy as the song, I still had fun listening and watching. I think that’s what dinged Denmark on points, but I know she had a lot of fun and it made me have fun. 8.5/10

15. Greece 🇬🇷 Klavdia - Asteromata: For a while, this was higher for me. Then I got tired of the song. It raised a bit more this week bc her performance of it was truly captivating. Vocally on point and emotional for sure. I’m glad she got a good result overall. 8.4/10

16. Iceland 🇮🇸 Væb - ROA: This song is fun. And in Icelandic to boot. The vocals were eh but when you’re having that much fun, it’s easy to ignore. Unlike the Minecraft octo-pussy they had pop up on screen at one point. Glad they qualified 8.3/10

17. Malta 🇲🇹 Miriana Conte - Serving: I honestly KANT believe it got such a low televote score. Jury, sure, but the public?? I’m glad she was able to bring Malta back to the final and have as much fun as she did. It was never really one of the songs I listened to a lot of, but I rarely skip it. She sounded great vocally and the staging was interesting for sure. 8.1/10

18. Armenia 🇦🇲 PARG - Survivor: I was genuinely shocked this actually qualified. Before the staging, I was borderline but after watching the semi, I was convinced this was going to do well bc shirtless man running and sounded vocally good. I also do like Imagine Dragons’ old albums and this gave me those vibes. 8/10

19. Slovenia 🇸🇮 Klemen - HMTDWHLT: I am not spelling the title out. Hear me out. I too was on the train of solid non-qualifier. Never managed to get through the song on Spotify bc bored. Then I watched it in the semi. It clicked. Maybe it’s that I have lost 2 family members I was close to within the past month. Maybe it’s actually the song is good and you just hate ballads. 7.8/10

20. Netherlands 🇳🇱 Claude - C’est la vie: I’m still kinda confused why he chose to sing the song mostly in frenglish. Pick one?? The vocals in rehearsal were awful with an immediate drop in my top to NQ. I never really got into the song like others did. Not sure why…but still better than some. 7.5/10

21. Australia 🇦🇺 Gojo - Milkshake Man: Look, I love joke entries, but I do pick one and stick to it. This wasn’t the one this year. That being said, I did usually not skip it. I’m not shocked it NQ’ed. I don’t agree with it, but I am not shocked. He was a bit off vocally for me. Staging was hilarious though. But how can he be mostly naked with a large codpiece and Erika has to cover up??? 7.5/10

22. Belgium 🇧🇪 Red Sebastian - Strobe Lights: I was shocked this NQ’ed. Like genuinely. I felt bad, but was glad to have Portugal and Iceland, which I believed were lost causes. I think it came to so much red and a lot of the lower register struggling a bit vocally. I genuinely don’t know but should have been in over some. 7.2/10

23. Czechia 🇨🇿 Adonxs - Kiss Kiss Goodbye: I wasn’t sure about this from the start. It seemed like a solid Q. Then watching it back, I see some flaws here and there. I like his lower bass register than his breathy tenors. Maybe that’s what got him a NQ. I think he good, just not outstanding. 7/10

24. Spain 🇪🇸 Melody - Esa Diva: I normally love Spain. This year was an anomaly. I really didn’t vibe with the song ever, esp before the revamp. I think Benidorm was really weak this year and it showed. Hopefully Spain will be better next year. However, not the lowest of the Big 5. 6.9/10

25. Ukraine 🇺🇦 Ziferblat - Bird of Pray: I don’t think Ukraine deserved to NQ, but they certainly were not top of the class. I don’t think they earned their top 10 either. The song is good. I had it higher up early on, but the staging of this was so middle of the road and confusing. Why the bad camera angles and costumes? I understand sticking to the 70s theme, but there are better ways. 6.5/10

26. Luxembourg 🇱🇺 Laura Thorn - La poupee mont le son: You can’t read the doll…baby, yes I can. The final result of the staging and costume was fine, but it still seemed too childish. I understand it was about breaking out of the dollhouse and being independent or something like that, but I just never got behind this entry. Visuals got it this high tbh. 6/10

27. Cyprus 🇨🇾 Theo Evan - Shh: A pretty loud track for hushing people. I didn’t like the song lyrically. I did like it musically. I loved the staging. I didn’t love the vocals. It was a bit of a struggle. I see why it NQ’ed barely, but agree it could have easily been in the final over San Marino. 6/10

28. Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 Mamagama - Run with U: Hear me out. Live, vocals were extremely questionable. Musically and lyrically, I actually really like this. I listen to the studio cut all the time. It was tragic that the vocals live were so bad. I want to rank this higher, but I can’t. 5.9/10

29. San Marino 🇸🇲 Gabry Ponte - Tutta L’Italia: of the 3 Italian songs, it was the middle for me. While I can listen to it every once in a while, I just get bored. Live, I think it faltered big. DJs without a “featuring” have no place at Eurovision tbh. Give singers credit or don’t participate tbh. 5.5/10

30. UK 🇬🇧 Remember Monday - WTHJH?: Indeed. What the hell did just happen? It was like 3 songs in one. I hate fast verse, slow chorus songs. I don’t know why but they irritate me. I like certain elements but then they would jam a new time signature in after it was getting interesting and throw me off. 5/10

31. Croatia 🇭🇷 Marko Bosniak - Poison Cake: What a downgrade from last year tbh. It started clicking during the live show, but not enough for me to keep interest and want a Q from it. 4/10

32. Ireland 🇮🇪 Emmy - Laika Party: I genuinely don’t know if the songs is annoying me or if the Bobbi Arlo rage took hold of me. I don’t get this song as others may have. Emmy was good in Witch Woods. I don’t think this is her genre of song. 3.5/10

33. Montenegro 🇲🇪 Nina Zizic - Dobrodosli: Ah, the annual Balkan ballad from a former Yugoslav republic. It just didn’t stand out unfortunately. I felt so bad for the voice crack bc I saw how good vocally Nina is normally. 3/10

34. Serbia 🇷🇸 Princ - Mila: The other annual Balkan ballad from a Yugoslav republic. Just not the highest in my ranking. I think like Nina, it didn’t stand out as a song. He can sing and is very well-looking, but the contest is about songs, not looks. 2.9/10

35. Estonia 🇪🇪 Tommy Cash - Espresso Macchiato: See previous comment about joke entry. If you’re gonna do a joke, at least be able to sing. 2/10

36. Georgia 🇬🇪 Mariam Shengeli - Freedom: I didn’t know about her politics because I didn’t even listen to the song in full til the semi bc I physically couldn’t get through it.

If you ask where a certain country is, I’m sure you can think of the answer as to why it’s not here. They shouldn’t have been there to begin with due to the same reason Russia isn’t allowed. I hope they really do allow for discussion amongst broadcasters before Austria next year. It shouldn’t be this hard to put the values of the contest into effect.

[crystal-methionine]

It’s yet again time for the annual post in which I divulge in opinions nobody cares about over European music performances.

Before you read and ask a question about a certain country’s song, fuck i*****, and they shouldn’t have been there. I also haven’t even listened to the song. I skipped them every time they performed and honestly don’t want to know what it was.

1. Norway 🇳🇴 Gåte - Ulveham : Europe…you are the worst. Are you kidding me with this being last place in Eurovision this year? It is amazing and actually represents the culture of the country sending it. The sounds of this song make me immediately think of Norway. My winner this year.

2. Croatia 🇭🇷 Baby Lasagna - Rim Tim Tagi Dim : First listen, I think I couldn’t get over the name. Second listen, listened to the lyrics and loved it. Seeing the performance was better. He seemed like such a genuine guy who was there to just have fun and share music. Hence why it made this song so much better. Deserved runner-up but also could have won.

3. Ireland 🇮🇪 Bambie Thug - Doomsday Blue : It honestly wasn’t until the first semifinal that I finally put this song as a qualifier. One of the best stagings and overall performances in years. I don’t have much else to say bc once again, the artist was so genuine and they were so kind to literally everyone (except to the country who shall not be acknowledged).

4. Switzerland 🇨🇭 Nemo - The Code : I wasn’t really that big a fan of the song. Loved Nemo tho. They are so bubbly, and the post-show interview made me so happy they won bc Eurovision is in desperate need of some fixing. Song was made on stage and definitely deserved winner. Congrats.

5. Ukraine 🇺🇦 Alyona Alyona and Jerry Heil - Maria & Theresa : Oh how Ukraine does this stupid contest. This was so good. The shot of Jerry on the hill with the flares. My eyes orgasmed. It was just such as good song too. Could have won bc Ukraine sympathy, and I would have been thrilled.

6. Italy 🇮🇹 Angelina Mango - La Noia : I love this song. It makes me happy and the performance was killer. Loved every bit of it.

7. Greece 🇬🇷 Marina Satti - ZARI : I had a similar gut reaction to this song as I did Croatia (granted second listen was with translated lyrics in front of me).

8. Portugal 🇵🇹 Iolanda - Grito : Over time, this one grew. Live, it killed total deserving of top 10 finish. Also the keffiyah nails were so good for a subtle fuck them to those who got butthurt about it.

9. France 🇫🇷 Slimane - Mon Amour : At first, I was unexcited by this song bc oh boy another slow French ballad about love. What changed that was the live in the semis. My god this man can sing and give me goosebumps.

10. Armenia 🇦🇲 Ladaniva - Jako : Take notes y’all. If you send a bubbly, ethnic song, you’ll get a good time and high marks from me. This was just so fun and they did amazing. I loved how much fun they were having. It made me have fun with them. Deserved top 10 placement for sure.

11. Georgia 🇬🇪 Nutsa Buzaladze - Firefighter : Georgia finally got in after so long (should have been in last year but I digress). This was so fun to watch. It was kind of middle of the road for me beforehand but the performance made it so good. Bottom 5 was not ok for this Europe. Not ok.

12. Lithuania 🇱🇹 Sylvester Belt - Luktelk : Listen, I feel bad bc at the beginning I really didn’t get the hype or like the song that much. Yet again live made me love it. So good on stage and another that looked like he was having so much fun.

13. Sweden 🇸🇪 Marcus and Martinus - Unforgettable : This was classic Sweden at its best. Was it the most original? No. Do I listen to it bc I love electronic sounds and catchy music? Yes. Sweden just does really good pop.

14. Slovenia 🇸🇮 Raiven - Veronika : This song was so good live. It had worn off on me a while, but Raiven breathed new life into it for me.

15. Netherlands 🇳🇱 Joost Klein - Europapa : No words can hide my level of disappointment from the EBU for being an absolute joke when it came to behavioral issues this edition. So drastic for no reason yet turning a blind eye elsewhere. Nonetheless, the song is getting its deserved laurels.

16. Czechia 🇨🇿 Aiko - Pedestal : This should have qualified. Semi 2 was hard. But this should have been a safe qualifier.

17. Spain 🇪🇸 Nebulossa - Zorra : Catchiest song of the year goes to Spain. It was just fun and I loved it. Should not have been bottom 5.

18. Austria 🇦🇹 Kaleen - We Will Rave : Fun song. Good choreo. Just kinda flat for me. 100% a listen on my playlist though.

19. Denmark 🇩🇰 Saba - Sand : Was this the most charasmatic performance? No. Was it a good song? Yes! I feel bad for Denmark in recent years. Sometimes a good song doesn’t qualify and bad ones do. This was a better song that just wasn’t as shiny as the rest.

20. Germany 🇩🇪 Issak - Always on the Run : Yes! Germany, this is the right track. Keep going further in this direction. Staging was great. Artist voice was amazing. Song could be less generic but so good compared to past years (minus 2020 which is top tier).

21. United Kingdom 🇬🇧 Olly Alexander - Dizzy : It’s good. It’s a good pop song. Staging was amazing but they really pushed it with the soft porn. It was too much imo.

22. Australia 🇦🇺 Electric Fields - One Milkali (One Blood): Best lyrics of all songs this year. Should have qualified. I understand and agree that 2000 and Whatever was amazing but so was this. Were vocals and the staging the best? No. But I still love it. But I won’t rank it higher bc of the staging.

23. Cyprus 🇨🇾 Silia Kapsis - Liar : Fun song. Good beat. She sounded great. Just think others may have been better in the lyric department.

24. San Marino 🇸🇲 Megara - 11:11 : Loved Megara’s attempt for Spain last year. This is a fun song I like to listen to. Staging was super fun and if they had qualified, I would have been happy.

25. Estonia 🇪🇪 5miinust & Puuluup - (Nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi : Fun party on stage. Song can get tiring. Vocals weren’t 💯 but had fun.

26. Belgium 🇧🇪 Mustii - Before the Party Is Over : I loved the studio so much. So much so that it was top 5 for a while. Then it grew off me.

27. Serbia 🇷🇸 Teya Dora - Ramonda : Listen, I know this song has its fans. I just was bored most of it. Sorry. But she can sing well.

28. Poland 🇵🇱 Luna - The Tower : I like this song a lot. She also is an amazing person. I felt bad that she didn’t qualify but I thought that was correct compared to others.

29. Luxembourg 🇱🇺 Tali - Fighter : Look, I’m happy they’re back. I just feel meh about it.

30. Malta 🇲🇹 Sarah Bonnici - Loop : Chanel and Eleni did the choreo thing and it finally trickled to Malta. Was it amazing, Yes! Was it a good song, meh.

31. Latvia 🇱🇻 Dons - Hollow : Happy for him and Latvians everywhere for qualification and actually doing well on the scoreboard. I just don’t listen to it on my own accord. He is a fantastic person and singer as well.

32. Iceland 🇮🇸 Hera Björk - Scared of Heights : I did kinda like it. It’s just like a rich cake, I can only have so much. I also know there are other better songs.

33. Finland 🇫🇮 Windows95man - No Rules : Funny but I had a lot of other songs I liked better.

34. Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 Fahree - Özünle Apar : Love the Azeri ethnic language and sounds, but I was bored.

35. Albania 🇦🇱 Besa - Titan : I’m not gonna lie. This was back to mid 2010s Albania and it was awfully boring.

36. Moldova 🇲🇩 Natalia Barbu - In the Middle: More like At the End. Nothing about this song grabbed me and it made me cringe. Sorry Moldova.

[crystal-methionine]

It’s time for my annual post about Eurovision and then disappearing from here for another year. So behold my rankings for the 2023 edition:

1. Finland 🇫🇮 - Cha Cha Cha by Käärijä

Oh Finland. So close to winning but a deserved 🥈. I wholly think that this song was a bit more original and stands out compared to Tattoo, but we all knew once Loreen was chosen by Sweden the the queen of Eurovision would take the crown.

2. Spain 🇪🇸 - EAEA by Blanca Paloma

5 pts. BITCH SERIOUSLY???!!! This was a masterclass of vocal performance with a touch of tradition, modernity, and ethnic music. Blanca killed it and the performance was so encapturing. I did not look away once. And then Europe have her only 5 pts (last place). I’m usually anti-jury but they at least put her 9th (could have been higher but better than fuckin last)

3. Sweden 🇸🇪 - Tattoo by Loreen

Way deserved 🥇. I listen to this and belt in the car. It was my #1 a good bit constantly switching between it and Finland. I remember thinking in the semi, what the point of even having the contest was bc she already won after performing. I do hate pulling the it’s Loreen card, but honestly when has she ever done wrong?? Perfectly fine with her winning it all.

4. Armenia 🇦🇲 - Future Lover by Brunette

Underrated imo. Also the dance break. I had to pick my jaw up off the floor in the semi. Vocally flawless both times. Amazing staging to boot. I understand this wasn’t everybody’s cup of tea. However, I think merit should have been awarded more.

5. Iceland 🇮🇸 - Power by Diljá

As already shown with Spain, we can’t have all the nice things can we, Europe? Vocal perfection. Rich gritty vocals and delicate. Is the song the best song lyrically, no. But the amount of performance prowess Diljá performed and stayed on point vocally was literally mind blowing. I knew she wasn’t going to qualify, but I so wanted her to. She deserved it more over some other countries *cough Poland*. The good news was she didn’t seem to care much and had a good time from what I was seeing.

6. Serbia 🇷🇸 - Samo Mi Se Spava by Luke Black

Like Armenia, I fully understand this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. This is one of my personal favorites that I may repeat once or twice if it comes on my playlist. The last minute of the song is my hype jam. The performance was good. I’ll agree to that there were better performers, but I have to rank the song this high given my replay count.

7. Israel 🇮🇱 - Unicorn by Noa Kirel

Is it my favorite, no. Do I hate the lyrics at times? Yes. It makes me think it’s supposed to be a track for a My Little Pony movie or something. Did the performance slap? Yes. She killed it, and I have to give props when they are due. Definitely ok with it in top 5.

8. Italy 🇮🇹 - Due Vite by Marco Mengoni

Is it a regular ye ole classic male ballad from Italy? Yes. Do I care? No. Did I love the performance? Yes? Would I break up with my partner and move to Italy and be with him? Absolutely (sorry babe, he’s so hot and if you had watched, you’d understand). Marco like in 2013 was vocally amazing and we had emotion. Idk what the trampoline people in the back were for, but tbh I didn’t pay them attention bc I was watching Marco.

9. Australia 🇦🇺 - Promise by Voyager

This song when it came out was my #1 until Cha Cha Cha and Tattoo came out. So happy they got a good result. They deserved it. Could have done better televote, but this year I agreed more with juries for the majority of the songs.

10. Slovenia 🇸🇮 - Carpe Diem by Joker Out

Oh you silly boys. You are the Miss Congeniality for sure. And on top of that, you should have been top 10. The performance was so fun and genuinely enjoyable. Vocally, they did well. I just fear that Slovenia always gets overlooked by everyone and that was why they stayed right side of the board this year.

11. Lithuania 🇱🇹 - Stay by Monika Linkyte

Lyrically felt and amazing voice. Glad she got her solo moment and just out of top 10. Loved the performance and she was so silly behind Finland all evening. Made me like her more.

12. Norway 🇳🇴 - Queen of Kings by Alessandra

Juries wtf? Why was this so low? She always did fairly well (maybe some whistle tones iffy). Glad she got a lot of televote points. Deserved top 10. I think for me it’s just I have heard it so many times that it’s not as impactful anymore.

13. Czechia 🇨🇿 - My Sister’s Crown by Vesna

I wasn’t sure vocally about this watching before the show concerts. However, they pulled it together though and the semi performance had me going. Deserved top 10. Well done ladies.

14. France 🇫🇷 - Évidemment by La Zarra

Vocally good. Performance was captivating. Idk why it was so low. It was quintessentially French, and I enjoyed it thoroughly.

15. Austria 🇦🇹 - Who the Hell is Edgar? by Salena and Teya

I thought this was too weird off the bat, but it grew on me. Hearing the crowd do the Poes was fun and glad they seemed to enjoy themselves. I get what the song is about, but idk if others missed it. Maybe that’s why it was low on televote??

16. Portugal 🇵🇹 - Ai Coraçao by Mimicat

Yes yes yes. Portugal did everything they should have always, which is authenticity. Mimicat was a joy to watch sashay around the stage in her feather skirt. Stole my heart for sure.

17. Latvia 🇱🇻 - Aīja by Sudden Lights

Oh Latvia. I’m so sorry you were in the semi of death. I think you’d have qualified otherwise. Very nice song and good performance. Definitely was brought to life more live than studio cut. Keep going this direction please.

18. UK 🇬🇧 - I Wrote a Song by Mae Muller

Song is good but I think vocals let it down slightly. Glad UK is in a good direction given the last 2 years. Keep it up.

19. Estonia 🇪🇪 - Bridges by Alika

I can’t dock this song for anything besides just personal opinion. It’s not that I was bored with it but I just liked others more. But live, she nailed everything and so I understand top 10 for her. Good job Estonia.

20. Germany 🇩🇪 - Blood and Glitter by Lord of the Lost

Look at me putting Germany in a non-last 5 overall position. What is this universe? Tbh it wasn’t high on my list until tonight. They killed it on the stage and rocked it out. Idk why it was last but at least it wasn’t 0 points again so hey improvements???

21. Albania 🇦🇱 - Duje by Albina and Fam

Just like Portugal, authentic. I’m a sucker for ethnic songs and while it wasn’t on my radar until the live shows, I’m glad it did after. Happy they qualified.

22. Georgia 🇬🇪 - Echo by Iru

NQ? Really?? This was so impactful vocally, visually. I don’t get it but truth be told, I still have no idea what the lyrics are. Idk if it was accent or what. But I don’t really care. So beautiful and passionate. Georgia, keep this up even if it was a NQ this time.

23. Belgium 🇧🇪 - Because of You by Gustaph

So this song is ok. I like the beat and the vogueing. I like the nod to ballroom. I think the lyrics are cliche and it sets something off in my brain where I can’t enjoy it like other people do. Idk what it is but glad they’re happy with the result.

24. Cyprus 🇨🇾 - Break a Broken Heart by Andrew Lambrou

Basic. Good but basic. Vocal iffy sometimes but a qualifier for sure.

25. Ukraine 🇺🇦 - Heart of Steel by Tvorchi

Glad they made it but the song is just ok. Elevated slightly by adding Ukrainian verse, but I would have liked more tbh. For a year celebrating Ukraine, I felt that the show did more than song in doing that imo. Czechia even did more tbh.

26. Moldova 🇲🇩 - Soarele si Luna by Pasha Parfeni

I prefer his 2012 song to this. Idk what is with the tribal influence, but I was so confused at the performance and the vocal was ok. At least it was enjoyable.

27. Netherlands 🇳🇱 - Burning Daylight by Mia and Dion

The studio was my #2 forever. It was so promising. Until I heard it live first. It was so bad. They fixed it, but I think they were kinda dead in the water already given how little their own people cared or wanted to promote them or the song, which is sad bc lyrically it was so relatable and felt by me.

28. Switzerland 🇨🇭- Waterguns by Reno Forrer

There’s nothing wrong with this song or him or his voice or the performance. I just was bored of it from the get go. I will merit his voice. It’s outstanding, but the song does nothing much for me. Would rather have had Latvia.

29. Denmark 🇩🇰 - Breaking My Heart by Reiley

I rather like this song. But only studio. The love was a struggle. Couldn’t seem to find the key for very long before losing it. May have simply been too high for his register. Either way, I enjoy it when on the playlist. Reminds me of the tracks for Heartstopper on Netflix.

30. Malta 🇲🇹 - Dance by The Busker

Is it bad? No. Is it good? No. Kinda middle ground. Would I dance to it? Yeah. Wasn’t too upset with the song. Just there.

31. Greece 🇬🇷 - What They Say by Victor Vernicos

Greece. We need to talk. I get wanting to fish for diaspora votes, but you have to qualify first. I don’t have anything against the song or the artist, but this was not putting the best foot forward. It gave Shawn Mendes wannabe and not Greek productions like we’ve seen in the recent years. It wasn’t broke. Put it back.

32. Ireland 🇮🇪 - We Are One by Wild Youth

You remember how U2 forced an album on us? This sounded like it was from that. I have nothing against the song bc I like Coldplay and U2, but come on Ireland. Surely you can do better than play it safe. Give us JR Eurovision level of taste. Give us Irish language and make a girl belt like a syren banshee.

33. Croatia 🇭🇷 - Mama ŠČ by Let 3

I am only putting this this high. I don’t get the hype or the reasoning. It’s weird in a not pleasant way. Parts are catchy so this is what I can give it.

34. Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 - Tell Me More by TuralTuranX

See Greece but Beatles instead of Shawn. Put it back. NOW.

35. San Marino 🇸🇲 - Like an Animal by Piqued Jacks

Take the lyrics away and the screaming at the end and it’s not bad music. Kinda reminds me of 1970-80s rock like Queen for a bit but bring back Achille.

36. Poland 🇵🇱 - Solo by Blanka

Just no. There I was minding my business and then all of a sudden, I hear this grating, irritating Bejba. I really didn’t like the song or her. Liking posts hating on fellow contestants in your national final. Immediate bottom even if you have a good song (see Armenia 2014).

37. Romania 🇷🇴 - DGT by Theodor Andrei

There weren’t many options for Romania this year tbh. Just unfortunately picked one where the song was just bad. Theodor can sing tho so give him a new song and act and would be higher on this list.

[crystal-methionine]

It’s that time of year where I talk about this years Eurovision even though nobody’s asked me to or cares about it.

1. Armenia 🇦🇲 Rosa Linn - Snap: Before you all come for me, this song is the vibe I go for in a song. The staging was immaculate (even tho in the semi, she tore a post it off). Armenia was robbed for coming in 20th. I understand maybe why it wasn’t super high but like in my opinion, this was so so good. Glad Armenia is back. 100/10

2. Sweden 🇸🇪 Cornelia Jakobs - Hold Me Closer: Oh Sweden, how you almost send Anders Bagge instead of this is entirely a bunch of bullshit. It’s classy, a bit rocky, it’s so singable, and the bitch looked stunning. Staging was simple but flawless as Sweden usually does it. Definitely a Sweden fanboy this year. 95/10

3. Czechia 🇨🇿 We Are Domi - Lights Off: How in the hell did this get so low on the night of the final when it did so well in Semi 2??? It’s baffling to me because we’ve seen openers do well before (Belgium 2016). Czechia take notes bc this kind of song and staging was the best combo you’ve put out in a while. Deserved better for sure and I always belt with the “Where are you noooow”. 90/10

4. Iceland 🇮🇸 Systur - Með Hækkandi Sól: Come for me all you want for having Iceland this high. I don’t care. I want to see more from the Indigo Girls/ABBA crossover that these three make up. The song is so calming and beautiful. Brownie points for Icelandic, which I love to hear in a song. If I could, I would’ve given them all my 12 points just to see them do slightly better than 3rd to last. I get not everyone likes it, but y’all really got to let it go with the folky ballad hate. 90/10

5. Portugal 🇵🇹 MARO - saudade, saudade: THE song this year that makes me cry and just takes me away on a journey. The live for this had me living for it. I turned off all my lights, sat there, looked at my bf who couldn’t have cared left, and took my phone flashlight out, and swayed the entire time. Best Portuguese entry since Conan. Super happy it came in Top 10. 89/10

6. Ukraine 🇺🇦 KALUSH - Stefania: “Politics” aside, I was super happy to see them a) be able to represent Ukraine, b) glad they were so well received, and c) definitely a deserving winner in my opinion. I understand how some people might not like it, but bruh I was bouncing around trying my best to get the rap bits in whatever Ukrainian I could even remember from listening to it over and over since I had first heard it. Yeah they probably were helped bc of everything going on, but I don’t mind they won at all. 85/10

7. Greece 🇬🇷 Amanda Tjenford - Die Together: If I’m being entirely honest, this song was immediately one I kind of felt was overhyped. Overtime, it grew a lot on me. I knew it was going to place top 10 from the start, but at least I started to enjoy it more. The staging really did help it for me. While the broken chairs were a choice that were frankly confusing, Amanda sang and ate. 80/10

8. Norway 🇳🇴 Subwoolfer - Give That Wolf A Banana: Silly entries with a good beat seem to be my guilty pleasure because I always loved this song most from this year’s options for Norway. Glad it was chosen so it wasn’t super serious this year. Plus choreo even I could learn. Glad it placed top 10. Welcome back to the top Norway. I missed you last year. 75/10

9. Spain 🇪🇸 Chanel - Slo Mo: Aside from the Benidorm drama conflama, this was a smart choice in the end. Sexy choreo with a goddess always does well no matter who you are in Eurovision (other countries take note). I mean that dance break was having me yelling “You better mother****in WERK Bih!!” God it was so good. I preferred other songs, but Spain definitely found a formula that is gonna work in their favor. 75/10

10. Netherlands 🇳🇱 S10- De Diepte: My winner for the longest time. Thought we’d be going back to Holland next year, but the other songs commanded stage a bit more live. I don’t know any Dutch but this song is definitely helping me learn some more and how to pronounce words (this is why I like native tongue songs). S10 did so well and I think 11th is fine, but should have been in top 10. 74/10

11. Ireland 🇮🇪 Brooke - That’s Rich: Y’all who can vote suck. Ireland actually did something right for once and you guys did nothing to reward them. Sure That’s Rich didn’t have the same gags to it that maybe some other Semi 2 songs did, but y’all did my girl dirty. Bloodbaths be hard and Ireland always lands in them unfortunately it seems. 70/10

12. Romania 🇷🇴 WRS - Llamame: Bébé got me dancing. Welcome back Romania. This is how to do it. Again bonus on the choreo and the male male flamenco moment had me going even if it was just for a second. Wasn’t too high on my radar until the live performances. WRS killed it. 65/10

13. UK 🇬🇧 Sam Ryder - Space Man: UK him? You actually didn’t fuck up this year. I mean Molly and Lucie were fantastic as well, but the staging this year was top notch. I still prefer other songs but I guess a top 10 finish was deserved. 60/10

14. Cyprus 🇨🇾 Andromache - Eλα: Aphrodite called and said yes bitch. I personally think Cyprus was just victim to a tough semi. But JURY votes at 9???!!! 9????!!!!! Robbery of the biggest stint of this year in my opinion. Was it sang the best? Not 100% but still around 80%. The staging was also cool and very Birth of Venus clamshell realness. Bonus points for Greek. Studio was definitely better by a bit but should have qualified. 55/10

15. France 🇫🇷 alvan & ahez - Fulenn: A grower for me for sure. It’s hard to follow Barbara Pravi. Having Breton was super cool and the stage was not as hot a mess as it was in the French final. Did it deserve second last? No. Did it deserve top 10? No. I thoroughly enjoy the song and sing along when it comes on. 60/10

16. Italy 🇮🇹 Mahmood & Blanco - Brividi: Love the song and was a winner with just studio version for a while (til S10). The live was a bit of a let down especially when we can see what Mahmood is capable of (2019). Maybe a bit too much wine? Maybe they lost some of the sexual tension they seemed to have during San Remo? Either way, I still listen to the studio and sing along while belting Mahmoods part in the chorus. 55/10

17. Serbia 🇷🇸 Konstrakta - In Corpore Sano: I don’t like the song or listen to it. But I was still doing the hand thing and singing the chorus while watching. I begrudgingly put it here bc I have to accept defeat. Yell at me all you want for not top 10 but I wash my hands of your filthy negativity. 50/10

18. Albania 🇦🇱 Ronela Hajati - Sekret: Look, this song is fun and crazy. I get to whip my hair around and twerk in parts. Was it a bit of a mess sonically and I can see where it didn’t really get viewed as a qualifier? Yeah a bit. But I still wanted it. Why can’t the final be 30 songs? Rip to the Albania streak. Please don’t be discouraged from sending bops like this. 50/10

19. San Marino 🇸🇲 Achille Lauro - Stripper: At first, I wasn’t a big fan and tbh I’m still not sold per se. But that performance was everything chaotic and queer I needed in my life. I mean a bedazzled buckin bronco on stage and y’all said no?????? Shame we only got to see it once. Keep rockin San Marino. 45/10

20. Lithuania 🇱🇹 Monica Liu - Sentamentai: I HATED this song at first. Maybe a bit of hurt in that Ieva was back with an absolute masterpiece and got close to last in the final of the Lithuanian selection. But the spooky disco groove overtook me in the end. Still not my fave but glad she made it to the final and didn’t do necessarily too bad. 40/10

21. Australia 🇦🇺 Sheldon Riley - Not the Same: Wow what a voice. The costuming was impeccable. The song was I think the only thing a bit lacking for me though. Still love it and can relate a lot but alas, other songs exist and did better. 40/10

22. Austria 🇦🇹 LUMIX & Pia Maria - Halo: I wish I could put this higher bc I jam all the way out with the studio. The live detracted for sure. She improved on vocals pretty well, but in the end I guess it didn’t improve enough. Staging was also a bit blah. Oh well. Still got the studio tho. 35/10

23. Denmark 🇩🇰 Reddi - The Show: I do listen to this one when it comes on the playlist. Something nostalgic about it. Reminds me of What’s New Scooby Do? for some reason. That early/mid 2000 punk girl pop vibe. The indulgent holding of the notes in the beginning were my only negative for the live. 15/10

24. Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 Nadir Rustamli - Fade to Black: I’m losing juice writing these reviews tbh. That’s how I feel about the rest of these songs in this year’s Eurovision. The rest are fine for the most part but no longer get above 10s. This song was carried by juries and I understand why. It’s not bad. It’s also Azerbaijan so it’s quality staging and singing. Qualifier? Sure. Did I want others ahead of it in semi 2? Absolutely. 9.5/10

25. Estonia 🇪🇪 Stefan - Hope: A bit of a western vibe is cool (Iceland did it better) but saying hope over and over just isn’t original enough for me. 9/10.

26. Belgium 🇧🇪 Jérémie Makiese - Miss You: The song is good but not great. Live was alright. Qualifier? Borderline and I’m fine that it did. Others were better. 8.75/10

27. North Macedonia 🇲🇰 Andrea - Circles: So so close to the right track. Song is fine. Staging was actually not half bad. Flag drama seemed a bit excessive but what can you do? I wouldn’t recommend withdrawing bc if this is the route North Macedonia is going, they’ll qualify next year. 8.5/10

28. Poland 🇵🇱 Ochman - River: Gripe about me but something about this song got tiring for me. I normally skip it. Idk why. Does he sing well? Hell yes. He sings so well. I just grew tired of the song rather quick. Deserve to qualify? Absolutely. Just not high on my rank. 8.25/10

29. Finland 🇫🇮 The Rasmus - Jezebel: Again gripe about me. I don’t care. It’s a good rock song. UMK this year had so many better options. This one just got old quick like Poland for me. 8.25/10

30. Croatia 🇭🇷 Mia Dimsič - Guilty Pleasure: The lesser of the folky girl songs. Definitely gave me Taylor Swift vibes. On the live performance, the Croatian bumped my interest but it’s pretty much just that and nothing else that makes me perk up. It was performed well though. 7.75/10

31. Malta 🇲🇹 Emma Muscat - I Am What I Am: This song suffers from basicness. Cliché Eurovision songs are fine to me, but this one didn’t even make it to the level of cliché where it’s good enough to overlook it. Instead,it’s so basic that it gets overlooked entirely. 7/10

32. Switzerland 🇨🇭 Marius Bear - Boys Do Cry: That we do. Especially after losing the streak of amazing songs coming from Switzerland. The song is a twinge off for me. A bit too boring. Didn’t really deserve the final but whatever. 6/10

33. Latvia 🇱🇻 Citi Zēni - Eat Your Salad: As a scientist, I approve of environmental messages. But this song I am not a fan of. It’s not about 😺 that gets me a bit turned off. It’s just too much in a not great way for me. Idk why. 5/10

34. Germany 🇩🇪 Malik Harris - Rockstars: Boring. End of story. But still better than some. Germany you can do better. 3/10

35. Moldova 🇲🇩 Zdob si Zdub - Trenuletul: Did they turn the party live? Yes. Did I still like the song? No. 3/10

36. Slovenia 🇸🇮 LPS - Disko: This song takes 5ever to start and doesn’t seem to go much of anywhere. I tried to give it a chance bc I love disco but alas. 2/10

37. Georgia 🇬🇪 Circus Mircus - Lock Me In: I’ll give them creativity and character. Costuming? Sure. Song? Too many components shoved into one. 2/10

38. Bulgaria 🇧🇬 Intelligent Music Project - Intention: Dads who rock in the garage should probably stay there. Nothing super bad, just wasn’t interesting for me. 1.5/10

39. Montenegro 🇲🇪 Vladana - Breathe: was she stunning? Yes. Was the song any good? Meh. I also didn’t like the vocals? Seemed out of breathe at times???? 1/10

40. Israel 🇮🇱 Michael Ben David - I.M.: I M over it. Officially. I found this super grating and annoying for some reason. Revamp was better than the original but still hated it. 0/10

[crystal-methionine]

[crystal-methionine]

Mean Girls (2004) dir. Mark Waters

[crystal-methionine]

[crystal-methionine]

[crystal-methionine]

Why are you fat?

cause everytime i fuck your dad he makes me a sandwich

[crystal-methionine]

The Post-Eurovision ranking and comments from an American that nobody asked for:

1. Switzerland 🇨🇭 Gjon’s Tears - Tout l’univers: I absolutely was enamored by this song, its artistry, and the artist. He can really sing and one of my early favorites from this year. So happy for him to get in the top 3 bc it was well deserved. 100/10

2. Italy 🇮🇹 Måneskin - Zitti e Buoni: Deserved winners. As queer as you can get and I am here for it. Another early favorite of mine constantly fighting with Switzerland for the top spot. 100/10

3. Iceland 🇮🇸 Dadi og Gagnamagnid - 10 Years: A beautiful song dedicated to his wife and deserved Top 5 for sure. Last year’s song would have won hands down so I’m bummed he couldn’t win the first one for Iceland but brilliant song and I hope the group stays together to produce more music. 99/10

4. Bulgaria 🇧🇬 Victoria - Growing Up Is Getting Old: Eurovision fandom will forever say Imaginary Friend or Ugly Cry was the better song to send, but I don’t think they would have won the contest either. This year was strong, and I personally think Growing Up was a perfect choice from Victoria. It deserved top 10 so I was pissed that it came 11th on the night and received so few televotes. 97/10

5. Ukraine 🇺🇦 Go_A - SHUM: To all y’all who said this wouldn’t qualify when the new version came out, eat those words hun. This was a masterpiece, and the live performances just elevated it further. Honestly, Kateryna could step on me, and I would let her. Who doesn’t love an ethnic modern fusion rave? 95/10

6. Serbia 🇷🇸 Hurricane - Loco Loco: I honestly have to say when it came out, it was never breaking my top 20, but here we are. This group of gals is amazing. The choreo, hairography, and the still great vocals won my gay ass over. They served and deserved top 10 in my eye. 90/10

7. Greece 🇬🇷 Stefania - Last Dance: Much like Serbia, I kinda dismissed this as a top 10 song at first, but after many listens and then the live shows, it was one of the best songs this year. Last year’s song was nowhere near a qualifier for me, and then I thought they had a good chance of being top 5 this year. Amazing improvement and can’t wait to see what comes next from Stefania. 80/10

8. Malta 🇲🇹 Destiny - Je me casse: Not going to lie, the studio definitely did more for me. It was up with Italy and Switzerland for winner contention until the live shows. Don’t get me wrong, Destiny is still amazing live, and the song is a deserved top 5 song. However, the costume and staging just really didn’t add to the song and I think detracted a bit. Her song last year was also much better in my opinion. 75/10

9. San Marino 🇸🇲 Senhit ft Flo Rida - Adrenalina: Oh boy this was a party, and the fact Flo Rida actually was there made it even better. The staging and costuming was absolutely camp, and I was here for it. This was definitely not underrated by fans beforehand, but the jury and televote were beyond robberies in my opinion. Granted I know the backing vocals were carrying the chorus a lot so in terms of vocals, I can see where this song got dinged, but this should have been San Marino’s best ever result at Eurovision, and it wasn’t so I’m mad. 60/10

10. France 🇫🇷 Barbara Pravi - Voila: The new Edith Piaf and probably one of the most representative of the country’s culture for a song. A definite deserved runner up on the night but for me 10th place. I loved the staging, the costume, the emotions. It was all right for Eurovision and me. 50/10

11. Cyprus 🇨🇾 Elena Tsingarou - El Diablo: Come through Cyprus with another female pop banger. I’d say if the formula ain’t broke don’t fix it, but wasn’t really enough to crack top 10 this year. Another early favorite of mine this year but soon got eclipsed. Still going to be listening to El Diablo for a while. 49/10

12. Russia 🇷🇺 Manizha - Russian Woman: I can’t lie that at first, this song was absolutely trash to me but quickly rose the ranks and became one of my faves. Same thing happened last year with Uno. We also always love a good female empowerment moment with the native language thrown in. Manizha is a girlboss without the gaslighting and a true queen. Deserved top 10 the night of. 40/10

13. Lithuania 🇱🇹 The Roop - Discoteque: An earworm for first listen and was top 10 for a while for me but like Cyprus, lost out to some others. No doubt this is a deserved top 10 the night of. 35/10

14. Croatia 🇭🇷 Albina - Tick Tock: The first song to get me pressed on it’s placement. Deserved to be in the final over both Israel and Norway (please come for me I don’t care). They freakin rocked that stage during the semis and the song is absolutely a bop. Albina deserved better. 30/10

15. Sweden 🇸🇪 Tusse - Voices: A beautiful song by an amazing artist. Sure the lyrics were a bit cliche Eurovision but guess what...it’s Eurovision. I can hear the voices. Keep carrying on Tusse. 25/10

16. Albania 🇦🇱 Anxehla Peristeri - Karma: This song grew on me a lot. I liked it but wasn’t a don’t skip for a while on my playlist. The live performance changed it for me. She slayed and the staging was everything for Miss Thing. Also native language brownie points. 24/10

17. Finland 🇫🇮 Blind Channel - Darkside: Before you come for me for having this at 17th, keep reading. I’m not a big fan of the lyrics but the song is absolutely fantastic. This style of music isn’t something I pull out on a playlist often, but I had my middle fingers up for this one (and pointed at Germany but we’ll discuss later). Deserved top 10 as they rocked it on stage. 20/10

18. The Netherlands 🇳🇱 Jeangu Macrooy - Birth of a New Age: I absolutely do not understand the hate for this song. I was also a huge fan of Grow last year so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised for being generally alone again. The fact it got 0 points in the televote and only 11 in the jury is not surprising but extremely disappointing to me. This song is a masterpiece much like the ones ranked above it. Jeangu, you are amazing and deserved so much better than this. 20/10

19. Belgium 🇧🇪 Hooverphonic - The Wrong Place: Fantastic song but fantastic artists. Always here for a dark pop moment. Gonna go get my own Johnny Cash T-shirt. 15/10

20. Spain 🇪🇸 Blas Cantó - Voy a Quedarme: Such a heartfelt ballad. I enjoyed it quite a bit and don’t understand the hate it has. Didn’t deserve 0 points in the televote. 14/10

21. Denmark 🇩🇰 Fyr og Flamme - Øve Os På Hinanden: Look we all know this song is cheesy but it’s the cheesiest Velveeta queso loco so it’s ranked so high in my opinion. This is a nod to the whacky and weird Eurovision I love. It’s always in my head and I always find myself dancing along. Deserved to be in the final over two of the songs in Semi 2. 13/10

22. Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 Efendi - Mata Hari: As far as the song goes, it’s enjoyable, but the stage show was a hot mess in my opinion. The choreo looked a mess and the different sheer legging configurations on the backup dancers was not the correct fashion choice in my opinion as I was distracted by the thought of why are they all different. Did deserve their spot in the final though. 12/10

23. Moldova 🇲🇩 Natalia Gordienko - Sugar: The studio version of this song is a heavily replayed one on my playlist bc of the drop and dance-ability of the song. However the downfall of the song was it’s live performance. The staging was fine and the choreo was great but those attempted sexy whisper vocals were not the choice to go with. I don’t want to sugar-coat this 😝 so they were terrible. Glad she made it but I felt her position in the final was one of just pure luck. 11/10

24. UK 🇬🇧 James Newman - Embers: The nul points was a huge ass oof. This song isn’t bad but I can see where people didn’t vote for it bc it’s not super memorable in terms of who all was participating this year. I like the song and always sing and dance along. 10/10

25. Israel 🇮🇱 Eden Alene - Set Me Free: This is how to do a revamp and be successful. Eden is a fantastic artist who can clearly sing, but the live performance was not all that sans the whistle tones. Yet the whistle tones aside, the song is lacking a lot. When looking back at the songs available, this one should not have been the selected one. I was always on the fence with this one and still am. 9.5/10

26. Czechia 🇨🇿 Benny Cristo - Omaga: The live definitely hurt this song in the first minute and a half. The second half was absolutely what should have happened in terms of vocals. Still like the song and listen to it often. 9.25/10

27. Ireland 🇮🇪 Leslie Roy - Maps: This song was a victim of a super strong bloodbath and shoddy staging ideas. The song is arresting and a bop. Leslie’s gruff voice mixed with the modernized Irish sounds is a match made. The staging of this song that required Leslie to run along with the beat and the distracting and constantly changing bits of the performance we’re definitely it’s downfall. It didn’t deserve last place in Semi 1 though. 9.25/10

28. Portugal 🇵🇹 The Black Mamba - Love Is On My Side: I am the first to admit that while I don’t like the song, it deserved the final. The staging and atmosphere elevated the song. 9/10

29. Austria 🇦🇹 Vincent Bueno - Amen: In the battle of the Amens, this one wins solely based on the classy and amazing staging. Don’t get me wrong, Slovenia’s was also elevating but this one did it better. 8.5/10

30. Australia 🇦🇺 Montaigne - Technicolor: This song is a fantastic one for studio. The live since the Sydney Mardi Gras performance has been rough and didn’t necessarily improve. I feel bad bc I do really love this song but it definitely didn’t deserve to qualify. This being said, I love Montaigne, and Don’t Break Me was my runner up last year, and I still listen to it as my anthem when I’m feeling down. I wish I could rank this higher but I can’t. 8.5/10

31. Romania 🇷🇴 Roxen - Amnesia: This song is great in the studio but it got old real fast for me and I don’t know why. This mixed with the poor vocals and the bizarre costume:stage combo was really what did this in and got this low in my ranking. 8.25/10

32. Slovenia 🇸🇮 Ana Soklic - Amen: The loser of the Amen battle, but just barely. The song and vocals are better in my opinion but the whole package was just barely edged out in the end. 8/10

33. Latvia 🇱🇻 Samanta Tīna - Moon Is Rising: Look, this song is nowhere near as good as last years. The queeeeeen sashayed away with that annoying trap beat. 8/10

34. North Macedonia 🇲🇰 Vasil - Here I Stand: Leave it to the gays for bringing musical theatre to Eurovision. The song honestly isn’t that special or memorable but he’s higher up bc his stage and voice are amazing. 7/10

35. Norway 🇳🇴 Tix - Fallen Angel: A great message on mental health outside of the song and Tix seems like a quality fella but I do not like the song. I preferred it in Norwegian. And this low ranking is not at all influenced over him beating out Keiino (but maybe a slight bit tho). 5/10

36. Estonia 🇪🇪 Uku Suviste - The Lucky One: While this was 1000% better than last years entry, it still was relatively boring. The stage was equally as boring so sorry Estonia, but you didn’t make the mark. 4.5/10

37. Poland 🇵🇱 Rafael - The Ride: This throwback to the 80s was a bad one. The attempt at a one hit wonder vibe really hurt it along with the artist’s terrible vocals. Also half the time, he was behind the pyro and relying on backup vocals. 4/10

38. Georgia 🇬🇪 Tornike Kipiani - You: You really should not have to wait so long for the more upbeat rock ending of this. If it was that last 30 seconds for 3 minutes, it would be much better. A definite step back from last year. 1/10

39. Germany 🇩🇪 Jendrick - I Don’t Feel Hate: Jendrick might not feel hate but I do bc that is all I feel when this song comes on. 0.5/10

[crystal-methionine]

Eurovision Song Contest 2021 - Top 10

[crystal-methionine]

RB IF YOU AGREE

[crystal-methionine]

2016 was so wack how did mystic messenger, voltron legendary defender, pokemon go, yuri on ice, zootopia, stranger things, and overwatch all come out in like a span of 6 months

[crystal-methionine]

[crystal-methionine]

when u tryna act big and bad but u too gay and cute

[crystal-methionine]

gay🏹irl

[crystal-methionine]

all of the looks in lil nas x's music video of montero (call me by your name) I AM SO OBSESSED WITH THIS VIDEO IT'S UNREAL