crystalkleure

[crystalkleure]

I genuinely cannot tolerate using this website anymore. My blog isn't going anywhere, it's staying up as an archive, and I still check my notifications and inbox sometimes, but I hate the fucking state of the platform so much. Why is 90% of my dashboard just a bunch of random bullshit from people I don't follow. I want to see the things I have specifically asked to see, in chronological order. And it used to be that way here, filtering content was so simple and easy and completely effective. I feel like I have zero control over what I see anymore, and it doesn't matter what settings I toggle either. This is just not the site I signed up for and used for many years anymore.

[crystalkleure]

how chaotic would a crossover of your fave media and beyblade beee

BEYBLADE ACTUALLY IS MY FAVOURITE MEDIA LOL

Beyblade x my Second Favourite Media would be...huh. I'm not sure what my Second Favourite Media IS, actually. It's either Inazuma Eleven or Buffy the Vampire Slayer, idk which to pick over the other.

I think Buffy would be funnier than sakka because sakka is too similar to spintops. Sakka is just Kids Doing Casual Magic via soccer instead of via plastic spinny top toys. Buffy is vampires and demons and Hellmouth and Apocalypse no. 4515645206.

Slayers are supposed to Always Be Girls [...because the first one was like a human sacrifice pretty much and all subsequent ones are Supposed To Be Controlled By A Council Of Old Men, The Slayer Is Treated As A Weapon/Tool Not A Person etc.] but there aren't very many of those in BeyBurst so I'm throwing that rule in the trash. Heehoo misogyny denied. Shu is the Slayer now.

Shu is given a pointy wooden stake one day and told to go kill monsters, It Is His Sacred Duty, He Must, For The Protection Of Humanity, etc., and Shu says DON'T MIND IF I DO

Shu stakes Free immediately

But he is terrible at it because it is his first try so he misses the heart and the creature is fine. Dude, What The Fuck. Free punches Shu in the face. This is the beginning of a slowburn homoerotic romance that will only come to true fruition in a Heated Moment Of Emotions when one or the other of them attempts to sacrifice themself to stop apocalypse no. 41689449635 in a season finale. [They both either survive or are resurrected 1. very quickly, and 2. against their will. It's fine.] At which point Free will be unable to cope with Admitting He Has Caught Feelings, and will promptly move to Los Angeles and become a lawyer. His spinoff series will get five seasons.

In the meantime, Shu tries to argue that Lui is probably ugly enough to qualify as a demon and thus he should be allowed to kill him. The Watcher's Council is not swayed by his reasoning. Shu tries to figure out how to feed Lui to a vampire and make it look like an accident.

Speaking of The Watcher's Council, Ashram is probably the Big Boss Bitch of that bullshit club. This is because The Watcher's Council is inevitably damned to not be listened to or cared about, and will get blown up at the beginning of a later season to emphasize how scary and dangerous a new Big Bad Monster is. Nobody even notices for a day or two.

Shu's own personal Watcher, however, breaks the norm of being a stuffy old man in a tweed suit. It is Wakiya. This is because Wakiya is rich and spoiled, and begged his Elder Watcher daddy to pull some strings and let him have his Very Own Pet Slayer the next time one awakens, in spite of the fact that Wakiya is only 16. The monkey's paw curls and he now has to babysit Shu. He is surprisingly incredibly competent at this and ends up being the only person Shu will actually almost-consistently listen to. Wakiya takes his nannying job very seriously. Shu is scolded very sternly every time he tries to die or run away to Mexico. Or do drugs.

The fun thing about Slayers is that they are almost always bratty teenagers who awaken right in the middle of High School, easily the worst time in anybody's life, especially if you find out you are now a supernatural entity bearing the sacred duty to protect humanity from the forces of evil all while already being completely full of hormones. Shu was expelled from his first school for burning down the gym. In his defense, there was one single vampire inside of it, but he's not allowed to tell people about that. His second and current school has a Hellmouth in the basement. He tries to push Lui into it.

Valt attempts to reason with the Hellmouth, arguing that perhaps it is simply cranky because it is hungry and therefore we should try feeding it some bread. Shu debates whether he should try to stop him or not. Wakiya has to prevent Valt from being eaten by the basement maw.

Daina takes up witchcraft in an effort to become more useful, and also more goth. Jin and Clio are his occult study buddies. Clio claims to be a foreign exchange student from Transylvania. He's still doing the vampire schtick, but nobody considers trying to stake him because he is clearly just an idiot nerd in a silly costume. He gets shoved into a locker at least once a month.

Orochi is a random civilian [well, he's the son of a very rich and famous piano guy and also his family is friends with Wakiya's family, but other than that] who is saved from becoming a vamp snack one day, thus learning that Vampires Are Real, Apparently, and promptly asks "So some of them are good, then?" Shu and co. ask what the fuck he means by that, one of those bastards LITERALLY just tried to fang him, and he points at Clio. "Your friend there. He doesn't have a heartbeat. I thought my ears were playing tricks on me." Plot twist, the idiot nerd in the silly vampire costume IS an actual vampire and has just been hiding in plain sight. Shu goes to stake Clio and Clio squeals WAIT WAIT IT'S FINE IT'S FINE I DON'T EAT PEOPLE I'M THE GUY WHO'S BEEN BREAKING INTO THE HOSPITAL TWICE A MONTH I'M STEALING THE FUCKING BLOODBAGS PLEASE DON'T KILL ME I'M AN ETHICAL UNDEAD CREATURE OF THE NIGHT. This is true and everybody shrugs and lets him live because he's harmless. He didn't even eat the bully who tried to swirly him last week. Also he's really good at magic. The Annoying Creature Is Useful.

Clio later finds out that Free is ALSO an Actual Vampire who is not killing people and thus Shu has not killed HIM, and he is VERY PEEVED BY THIS.

Clio: "What The Fuck, Asshole! I've been friends with your friend for MONTHS now and you still tried to dust me immediately! You KNEW Murder Is A Choice, Even When You're Dead! Why no faith in me??? How have I not earned thine trust yet????? Oh! Oh! I am so offended. I bet you don't even taste good anyway." Shu: "I DID stake Free. I staked Free for being annoying. You are also annoying." Clio: >:O !!! "...Wait, Free's still around. That means you missed the heart?? lolololol" Shu: "I am literally still holding a stake in my hand right this very moment. I am much better at using it now. Why are you deliberately continuing to annoy me. Do you WANT to be a little pile of ash on the floor."

Kensuke is a werewolf, unbeknownst to everybody [including Kensuke] because Kensuke is so sweet. Kensuke just thought he was a sleepwalker and didn't tell anybody about all the times he woke up butt-naked in the middle of the woods because that is embarrassing. Shu refuses to slay Kensuke upon discovering the truth, and instead opts to simply lock him in the incredibly convenient giant cage built into one of the walls of the school library every time That Time Of The Month rolls around. Kensuke is a good boy and only eats a few of the books.

Wakiya's father is incredibly rich and owns the school, as well as most of the rest of the city quite frankly. Everybody gets away with quite a lot of property damage because of this.

Shu's parents never find out anything whatsoever about what is going on because they are never home. They probably don't remember they even HAVE a son. Over the course of the series, Shu's father will divorce his mother and move away to fuck knows where, and Shu's mother will briefly date a robot before dying of a surprise cancer-induced brain aneurysm. Shu is conflicted on whether or not to care about either of these events.

I could keep going but this post is already very long and I need to stop.

[crystalkleure]

it is genuinely bewildering to me that adult human beings do not know this but if you are mean to people they will not like you. like tbh they are probably also not going to like you if you are mean to other people but they are definitely not going to like you if you are mean to them. it doesn’t matter if you are funny or if you can use r/aita rules to prove that you are in the right. people simply so not enjoy being treated like shit.

[crystalkleure]

[crystalkleure]

Love it when Rolling Stone puts out an article about the 25 most influential internet creators and I've only heard of 7 of them

[crystalkleure]

crawling out of august covered in blood

[crystalkleure]

[crystalkleure]

[crystalkleure]

Ig: @konradkrajdaart

Szczecin, Poland

[crystalkleure]

Ig: @hwio_orient

Seoul, Korea

[crystalkleure]

Ig: @konradkrajdaart

Szczecin, Poland

[crystalkleure]

Ig: @konradkrajdaart

Szczecin, Poland

[crystalkleure]

Ig: @konradkrajdaart

Szczecin, Poland

[crystalkleure]

Ig: @konradkrajdaart

Szczecin, Poland

[crystalkleure]

one time i was in an olive garden bathroom and my packer fell out of my shorts and this ten year old boy just looked at me with absolute terror and without thinking i said "that's what happens when you don't eat your vegetables" later i saw him eating salad at a speed no human should be capable of

[crystalkleure]

[crystalkleure]