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[crystalmaezing]

My wavemate, my crush pt. 3

After what happened, everything became really awkward between us. We dont talk anymore, like literally. We even treated each other like a ghost. When i am about to walk on her way, she’ll go on the other way, same with me. It went by for alot of time. Until one day, the people who went to Dampa seaside with us asked if i can go and drink with them. I said yes, because i wanted to clear things up.

January 22. We had ourfirst day of nesting. Each of us have different schedules already. She approached all of my friends but i am listening some songs in my phone and when she’s approaching our side, i turned the volume up because i know she wont talk to me. She approached me but i didnt know that she’s talking to me so she thought i’m mad and snobbed her. She’s asking regarding my sched because she doesnt have anyone to eat during lunch.

January 24, i chatted her asking if we will be pushing through our night out again (not night out tbh, morning out lol). Last January 22, i got a topbox, the first one to receive topbox and everyone congratulated me, EXCEPT her, because like what i said, we are ignorning each other.She actualy greeted me regarding my topbox. I told her that she’s the only one who isnt greeting me for my it. 

January 25th, she’s absent, as well as her girlfriend. I thought it’s just a coincidence but nah. 

The next day, i asked her some absurd thing. “How to move on?” and then i told her that it is regarding a friend, the truth is that i told her what she did during the time we were drinking in Dampa. What she said to me is to just ignore that person and find someone or something else to be busy with. And that hit me. I think she’s telling me to move on from what happened by ignoring her and forgetting about that night. HOW TO MOVE ON THOUGH.

That friday, we have plans but most of our wavemates are absent so i thought it wont push through. Plus, early that day, i asked my partner in go live to eat on Bonchon with me. When we were waiting for my crush, i told them that i wont go anymore since i asked my partner out and the k-girls as well.

January 26th. We’re still chatting, i sent her a photo of chicken wings because i am eating with my friends that night. She sent me a photo of noodles instead because she said she’s still sick. I’m like a caring girlfriend that keeps on telling her to drink vitamins so she wont get sick. And i even told her that i’ll give her something on our last day which didnt happen, because i got mad(?).

Sunday morning, she sent me a photo of Bagnet, i was so craving and asked her if she can give me some. I jokingly told her to give me some and bring it on monday. And she suddenly asked me if i can go at her place which is Laguna, a province already.

I thought she’s just joking but she told me that since we just got our salary, i’ll be able to go there. She easily convinced me and i really went there. MARUPOK for short.

It’s the first ever time that i’m travelling alone, going there as well. For short, i am doing everything for her. For me to see her as well. Without anyone knowing, i went there. I even lied to my mom that i will go to my close friend house and will celebrate the birthday. EVERYTHING FOR HER.

When i arrived, i am expecting a ewly haircut which is a boyish hairdo already but FCK she became more attractive for me because of the hair. I even told her to just cut it like a boy. We arrived in her house, we drank san mig pilsen, awkwardly using our phones and not talking. I went there just to use phones lol. She’s actually busy talking to her girlfriend and finding friends to drink with us because we’re both awkward.

She found one, and we went down again to find any bar to drink. We found one and she sang one song but the owner turned it into a movie so we decided to move on the other bar where we met two of like a not-so-close friend. We’re drinking and all. Having fun, she’s singing and as usual, most of the songs are like for me because of the lyrics.

She invited two of her more close friends which came from a trip and went straight to Laguna and drink with us. When she’s a bit drunk already, she’s telling a story on what happened last Friday, that actually her girlfriend went to her house and even got introduced to her Mom. So i thought i’m the first to go there, but it turned out i’m the second. ALWAYS....

Anyway before i forgot, she introduced me as her workmate. lol

So we drank until she’s kind of drunk already. She keeps on caressing my hand. And decided to put her bag infront of me and behind that, she  held my hands again. Well, being a marupok, i just let her do that. She’s even hiding it because her friends knew that she have a girlfriend already.

That night/midnight feels so long, actually i think it’s really long and the time is so slow. I think the reason why is because that may be the last time that i’m gonna have her solo. 

4am hits, we’re done drinking and when i’m about to go home, it’s hard finding a bus and they decided to buy some goto first so we went to the “bayan”. And while we we’re on our way there, i actually confessed to her that i cried thinking of what happened on Seaside Dampa. That’s the only chance that i can tell it to her so i took the courage after drinking 5 bottles of drinks. She even holds my hand when we’re walking.

After that, we went to the bus stop and i rode it already. She even told me that she wont sleep until i arrives home but it’s a lie lmao. And another thing, i paid for the goto myself, she said she’ll pay me on Monday.

Monday came, no one knew about what happened. But during the first hours, we are not doing anything and i told one of my friend about what happened. Well, she can keep secrets anyway. She got mad because i’m such a fool for doing all of those.

After that day, we dont have anything to do the whole day, we’re not even taking calls. My other friend is still absent, i was so excited to tell her the story but nah she didnt went to work. And during that day since we didnt do something, i volunteered to go to one of our workmate’s house because we need to bring something important. And when we went out on the morning, one of my kinda-close friend on our wave asked me regarding the things i have with her. So i told everything and she’s so supportive.

I came to knew that my crush actually told some other else that i have a crush so i confessed everything to her since she’s our auntie on the wave. And when we’re on our way home, one of my  workmate asked me directly if i’m a lesbian. I thought at first it is because of how i talk, walk and do something but it turned out, they talked about me. 

And before that, i was a bit disappointed with my crush because when we went out on Monday, i told her to pay it the next day and her excuse is that her girlfriend is there so she cant give it to me directly. Asking if she can give it to my friend instead. I got mad and told her that it’s up to her. The next day, she withdrew and when her girlfriend wasnt looking, she threw the money well not that hard throw. It’s just like she’s in a hurry so her girlfriend wont see it. 

Going back, when my workmate asked me if i’m a lesbian. I kept on making him talk but i failed. He actually chatted to me what happened. It turned out, that day when i didnt went with them to drink. I admit, my reason is that her girlfriend would come with us so i didnt went. But i already asked my partner in go live to eat out with me since it’s salary so that’s actually my excuse.

It turned out, while waiting for my crush, they talked about the reason why i wont go. One of our workmate said that “Maybe the reason why she dont want to go is beacuse of the incident that happened when we were on dampa”. and then one of the close friend of my crush said “She’s thinking there’s a meaning of what happened”. I got really mad, because first, i didnt knew that someone knows we’re doing that and someone is backstabbing me. We even talked alot but that girl is fcking backstabbing me lol.

Wednesday, we’re on the courtyard since we dont have any room. I approached that workmate who told me the story and we talked more about it. I was really still mad but i still need to compose myself. And my friend who is absent actually went to work and she knew about the story already. And same, she told me i’m a fool.

After that day, i dont really talk to her anymore. And when i went inside the bathroom, that girl who is backstabbing me is talking to one of our workmate and saying “She’s taking it the other way” and when she saw me, she stopped talking. That’s how i knew that she’s telling it to everybody already. I was so dumfounded but i tried my very best to not react.

I HATE IT BECAUSE I DONT LIKE ME, BEING TALK OF THE TOWN AND THE THING IS THEY’RE SAYING I’M SO FOOL THAT I AM EXPECTING SOMETHING FROM A DRUNK CONFESSION.

[crystalmaezing]

My wavemate, my crush pt. 2

“I like you”

  I thought the story will be done after new year, but never expected that there will be a sequel into it.

  I admit it, i told some of my friends regarding the story of her ‘almost breakup’ with her girlfriend. I trust the two of my friend so I dont really expect any of them to tell other people regarding that secret.

  One day, i was wearing a black dress, it was the first time i wore that and i feel like it doesn’t suit me so when i arrived, i first went inside the cr. I was surprised when someone came inside and it’s her. I was about to greet her but then her face is so straight like she didn’t even saw me at all. I was dumbfounded because I thought that maybe she found out that I told my friends regarding that secret.

  January 5th, I chatted her on messenger asking if she’s mad at me. She didn’t reply. I sent “Sorry” just in case she’s really mad and she actually replied “It’s okay”. I was so down because I thought, maybe she’s really mad at me. What if she never talk to me anymore? I replied saying I respect her decision of not talking to me but she said she’s not mad.

  Fast forward to  January 11. My friends planned something because two of them have birthdays on January so they decided to rent a karaoke room with some of our wavemates. I am very excited that time because I will have a solo time with her, specially that her girlfriend wont come with us. That time, our end of shift is 11pm so we decided to go to one of the karaoke room near to our company. I kept on joking to my friends that i have an evil plan that if my crush gets drunk, I’ll do something which is actually just a joke.

After our job shawdo, we were outside our room waiting for our turn to get our bags inside the room, my crush told me to save her number so I can call her but then one of her close friend came and gave her number to that friend instead of me, I was a bit disappointed. So after our shift, we went to the smoking area to smoke while waiting for our workmates who will come with us. On the other hand, my crush went to her gfs house first. At first I thought her girlfriend wont allow her so I was really silent that time.

  We decided to go to the karaoke room. During our trip inside the cab, the friend of my crush told me to call her, and FINALLY had the chance to have her number. I called her while we’re inside the cab and told her the place she needs to go to. When we arrived, she’s still not there so I called her again. She took the taxi and when she went out of it, I was very excited.

  Before going inside the room, she bought a box of cigarette, never thought that she’s smoking though. After smoking, we went inside the room wherein, our wavemates are already singing and having fun. I sat on the side thinking that she might sit beside my but she sat on the other side of the chair so I was really disappointed. I planned on going on her side but she transferred, it made me think that she’s not even interested in me, not even a slight. So we kept on drinking, our friends told me that I need to sing so I sang “You belong with me” by Taylor Swift, but even before I sang, she went out to smoke. I was dumbfounded. It looks like she’s really avoiding me. Then one time, some of my friends wanted to smoke so I went with them and my crush also went there. What disappoints me is she talked about her girlfriend. I was suddenly not in the mood at all, thinking there will be no chance at all.

  After a few hours of having fun. While I am eating, she suddenly told me to sit beside her because we havent talked yet. “You keep on avoiding me though”, that’s what I thought. So we were beside each other, she even told me to sing but my throat is not in a good condition because I am drinking alchoholic drink. She even took a photo of us. When we were talking, my friends are like a supportive parents, looking at me and smiling. After a few minutes, two of my friends bid goodbye since one of them are being scolded already. We talked a bit and she suddenly slided her hands on my hand, our fingers interwined. It’s the first ever time that someone holded my hands like that. I enjoyed it. I didn’t think that she has a gilfriend. I just wanted to treasure the moment.

  She would drink and even ask me for a toast. Going out to smoke or pee and come back and holds my hand again. I felt like I am the girlfriend that night. Which is absurd right? When some of our friends are singing and having fun, she suddenly faced me and told me “You know what? Actually you’re my crush. But I felt like you’re pushing me aside everytime I try to approach you. Unlike my girlfriend now, she’s very sweet so I thought I should just court her instead of you. But what can I do, you never had a relationship so you don’t know what to do. If onlly you told me that you liked me earlier…”, IT’S THE FIRST EVER TIME SOMEONE CONFESSED TO ME. I don’t even know what to say. I don’t know if she’s just drunk or what. I was just looking at her in the eyes. Don’t know what to reply.

  “It’s okay” I guess that’s the only word that I replied. After that, we still held hands for some time. And later told me that I should sing. She key in the song Way back into love and we sand it on duet. That was really precious for me. Holding hands with the person I love the most, yes, I love her. And receving a confession from her. After the party, she was very drunk. Even told us that she can go home alone. We took a grab and get dropped at EDSA and there, she throw up A LOT. I was realy shy and worried for her. What is she can go home, and the fact that she will go home kinda far. Good thing, one of our workmate will ride the bus with her.

  I chatted and texted her just to make sure. But when I got home, I slept as well. Afternoon came I got a reply that she’s home safe. I kept on thinking about the things we did that night, so I was so unwell during the weekends. I even told my friends right away on what happened that night. They are happy for me anyway.

  January 12. Night. I chatted her because I am disturbed on what we did that night. I asked her. “Are you serios about what you said last night?”. She’s not replying so I said “Nevermind” but she replied “What?”. I said “Everything” and she said yes. I was surprised and I don’t even know if she’s just joking because there’s a laugh chat next to it.

  After that, we never had any talk and all at all so I decided that I should just forget about everything. She have a girlfriend and I don’t want to ruin her relationship. But I am ruined. I kept on thinking about it day and night. Even my friends who knew about what happened got annoyed so I am just trying to forget it.

  January 18th came. One of our workmate is actually going to have a drink with her and she decided to tell it to me and asked me if I can come. I said yes because I never had a drink with that workmate I have and was thinking it would be a great bond. But after our shift, she told me that my crush’ girlfriend will come so she thought that I shouldn’t come. I don’t get it at first because WHY? So what if her girlriend would be there, I’m not coming for her anyway? And it hit me. She told that workmate of us about me having a crush on her. Even my close friend told me that as well. I was really mad on my way home because I don’t like her telling anyone in our wave regarding me having a crush on her.

  Until now, I am really mad, I even chatted her asking if she told anyone about it and she said no.

  I don’t know if she’s just playing with my feelings or she is serious. Nevertheless, I don’t even know if I still like her or what.

[crystalmaezing]

My wavemate, My crush pt. 1

“It started on our first day of work”

I’ve always been a  hopeless romantic ever since i had a crush back in my elementary days. Whenever i have a crush, i am always trying hard to let them know that i have a crush on them by looking at them always. I am swinging both ways, i tend to like boys and lesbians or bisexual girls (my mom do know that i had a crush on lesbians back then).

So going back to the present, I was hired in this company where my college friends are working, they told me to go there because i just resigned on my previous company which is a BPO as well. During our first day of work, i had my eyes on this someone which until now i still have a crush. She’s a lesbian.

At first i was actually a bit hesitant because it might be just a crush at first sight but the feelings went deeper than i expected. I was planning to forget about here until one day (December 16 to be exact), she actually pmed me on messenger saying that she wants to talk to me via call which is absurd. We never talked in person since i am awkward at her, just her in our wave.

At first, i actually told her that i don’t have any earphone working so i cant talk to her via call, just so you know, i hate talking on phone not using earphones, it sucks. But she keep on insisting that it’ll just take a few minutes. So i decided to allow her even if i don’t have earphones with me.

During the first topic of our call, she asked me where i was staying and such thing. The conversation goes like this (well not all is accurate though because that was like a few weeks ago)

Her: Where do you go home?

Me: *gives the train station that i always drop to*

Her: Where exactly is that, i didn’t know there is such station.

Me: *insists that it exist*

Her: Who are you with right now?

Me: My dad, my mom went to province.

Her: Tell your dad to drink medicine for cough (because she heard my dad coughing on the background)

And it goes on. She kept on asking me who is my crush and i replied to her jokingly “you”. At first she just laugh so i thought that i’ll just tell it to her jokingly even if it’s the truth.Sadly, someone arrives at home that i needed to hang up our call. Our call ended after 14 minutes. That Saturday, the day i decided to forget about her and decided to still have a crush on her right after our call. Even her laugh that night still lingers in my ears.

Monday came, I went to work and saw her. Just like the same old days, we didn’t talked to each other. It was weird because i thought she will talk to me because we sound so close to me that night. I awkwardly talked to her because she is quite close to one of my friend. She told me that she’s very drunk that night and she didn’t remember what we talked about.

That hit me like a lightning.

To me it was very meaningful but to her, it’s just a thing that she did while she’s drunk.

By the way, she have a crush at one of our wavemates, at first i thought it was me though, i’m such a hopeless romantic, i know. Because there are things that made me point at my fingers.

First, when i was busy writing the late on our wavemates. I heard her saying that her crush is busy, it turned out that i am busy and her real crush is busy talking to someone on phone. Another thing is when we’re on our way to the terminal, my friend asked her who her crush is and she said “I’m not gonna tell, she might be here”. Third one is i’m the only one she doesn’t talk much with. I know, i expected so much, i got disappointed big time.

Okay going back....Days passed by, we only talk on messenger like we’re really close but not talking personally in our office. We tend to have deep talks and such.

One time, i told her that my real crush is her because she kept on insisting. She keeps on commenting on my repost about my crush so i decided to tell her.

One time on December 18, we and some of my wavemates are having fun and then she suddenly called me and told me that someone is having a crush on me, i disregarded it.

Since i am used to us talking on messenger, i kept on waiting for her reply and decided to fake that i accidentally clicked the like button and she replied. We even talked about her family and mine. We have a lot of things that we talked about.

There was one time that she told me that she’s living alone and her mom lives at the province, i pitied her so i decided to cook something and bring more for her. I even jokingly told her that i’ll put some love potions on it and she said “Sure”. I gave her the food because she is eating with her crush. After that day, i bring more food so i can share with her. We ate together that day because her crush isn’t there.

I even saw her posting on myday a photo of her and her crush (now the girlfriend) and with a heart. Same with her girlfriend she posted one, it made me jealous one time big time.

December 23, i decided to get my hair done and i changed the color into red, i decided to do it to move on from her.

December 24, we have a morning shift so we wont have a hard time going home for Christmas even. I came inside our room with my earphones on, i am so awkward because i really told her that i have a crush on her. The sound of my earphone is really loud so i cant hear any of them inside the room, but i know she, her crush and her crush’ friend is there at the back of our room. When the song i am listening to ended, i heard her crush’ friend saying “There’s someone who have a crush on you in our wave right?” the moment i heard that, i knew that she told them that i have a crush on her, i felt betrayed.

I just let it flow. Ignoring her, she didn’t even talk to me that much. And i can see that she and her crush is already together because of their clingy-ness and sweetness on each other. It’s unofficial, i just expected it to be like that but i never heard it from anyone. It was actually sad for me but i kept on fighting it. There are times i am not even in the mood to eat.

December 24, Christmas eve, i was singing with my brothers and decided to post it on messenger, she just keep on seeing the videos and such but not talking to me. I chatted her to ask if she’s dating with her crush already but i’ve got no answer. 11 pm strikes and i decided to send her a long ass message. She just reacted an emoji with a heart and no response. She response to me in the morning saying she fell asleep already.

December 25th, i’ve got a greetings from her and nothing else. It getting more awkward already but i am still expecting that she will at least talk to me, but no.

During one of our chats, she asked me to have a drink with her and a friend, i said yes but when i sent her that long ass message, it got awkward. She doesn’t talk to me that much so i thought that maybe the invitation would be disregarded already.

Our salary day came, she asked me if i will still go but my friends already decided to eat on a buffet so i told her i cant go. It’s for my own anyway, i don’t wanna bond with her that much because i want my feelings to fade away.

December 29. She left on our gc, i was hella curious so decided to pm her. She told me that she fought and broke up with her girlfriend. I was more than happy but then, not really. She sounds so frustrated because her girlfriend did something that is really absurd. She even told me that they’re dating since December 22. I was in full shock because i even sent her a message during the 25th like whut.

She asked me to have a drink with her but it’s raining that time so i refused to go which is until now, i am sorry for myself. She even told me that she wont go to work anymore so i did everything to stop he from doing that. I  told her that i’ll give a gift or i’ll perform during our year end party but she refused to accept. She got quite busy during the night and i even asked her if she’s free on the next day but she said nope.

On Sunday, i talked to her again and asked if it’s a final decision, i even told her jokingly that she wont be able to see me perform. She said that she’ll go to work because she wants to watch me, i am really happy because i feel special. But it turned out that they got back together, i am stupid right?

December 31, our year end party. When i came in, she’s still not there but her girlfriend is so i thought, maybe they’re still not getting back together. She arrives and keeps on saying to her friend “Where’s the gift you promised me?” which is actually for me because i promised her. I was with my friend when she asked me to have a photo with her. I was actually surprised because we never had a photo together yet. She took it, her hand is actually trembling which is funny so i told her i’ll take it for her, but I AM TREMBLING AS WELL.

She were in front of me when i told my friend to take a photo together but she went to us saying that she wants to join so i took a photo of the three of us. I was really happy that time but that ended real quick when her girlfriend performed and she said “I’m so embarrassed for you”. I was like “They got back together”.

It even gets sadder when we’re about to eat, they went to get the food together, eating beside each other and they even took a photo together. For short, they’re very sweet to one another.

Our party ended, i was frowning the whole time, each and everyone is greeting one another and hugging each other. She was in front of me and i jokingly told her “Happy new year” and i even leaned a bit but we’re on our way out so i just went out of the room. She called me and said “Okay let’s hug”. I was about to hugged her but we both leaned on the same direction which made us almost kissed. I was embarrassed big time, even some of our wavemates saw it as well as her girlfriend. But we still hugged of course. Both of us were actually speechless after that.

Why is it whenever i am deciding to forget about her, she’s doing something that will make me fall for her more?