csalexandrite - Tumblr blog

[csalexandrite]

"Ang hirap alagaan ng sarili mag-isa with all the limitations!"😪

So pathetic to say this pero ayun kasi..... 😭

Take good care of me Lord.

[csalexandrite]

😭

Psalm 55:22

[csalexandrite]

Start of a tiring week.... God bless my heart Lord! 😭😭

Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin. Ang tanging alam ko nalang is that You are faithful and just! 😭❤️❤️

[csalexandrite]

When you change, don’t announce it. Just bloom.

[csalexandrite]

1:55 AM thoughts

Bakit hindi ko kayang mang-offend ng tao? ☹️ Sometimes its not healthy na.

I have this principles na “Mas okay nang ako ang maseen, huwag lang ako ang mangseen.” Bakit ako ganito? Minsan kasi hindi na talaga healthy ☹️

Send help....

[csalexandrite]

i know it’s hard to believe some times, but you are 🧡

[csalexandrite]

Do your part, put in the work. Look to Him and He will do His part 🙏 ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ #Jesus #Christ #Bible #blessed #Christian #BibleVerseOfTheDay #Church #Scripture #BibleVerse #BibleStudy #jesusfreak #hope #gospel #Quote #RyanMaher #BibleQuotes #God #Love #JesusChrist #GoodNews #BibleVerses #GodIsGood #Christians #BibleQuote #Relationships #prayer #faith #encouragement #Pray #ChristianQuotes

[csalexandrite]

Dear self,

Someday you will see the worth of your ugly cries and sleepless nights. You will hear the proud hearts of people silently cheering you up. I can finally utter my most awaiting words of gratitude for being brave. If it wasn’t cause of your perseverance I won’t exist.

I’m proud of you! You are almost there. Don’t give up! I can’t wait to finally meet you!

All the love,

Your future self ❤️

[csalexandrite]

Bad days are part of the process. Please don’t give up.

[csalexandrite]

You are like Salt and light

You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its salty taste, it cannot be made salty again. It is good for nothing, except to be thrown out and walked on. “You are the light that gives light to the world. A city that is built on a hill cannot be hidden. And people don’t hide a light under a bowl. They put it on a lampstand so the light shines for all the people in the house. In the same way, you should be a light for other people. Live so that they will see the good things you do and will praise your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:13-16

[csalexandrite]

God created us for Himself alone—therefore, our identity rests in Him alone.

[csalexandrite]

You leave the ninety-nine just to find me. And now that You did, I’ve got ninety-nine problems saying goodbye!

There’s no turning back! ❤️

[csalexandrite]

I’ve been rethinking; how can i manage to smile and act normal when in fact there is actually bearable pains still exist (naks bearable lols).

How self? Am I pretending? Noooo. My instinct is saying I wasn’t. It was pure. How so? Im not sure.

Is this what they called, joy? Because if it was really joy, i am more blessed to finally knew the feeling and able to get its deeper meaning.

Maybe, I am undertanding what You’ve just said few days agoooo...

Luke 1:28 NIV

[28] The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.”

Days before yesterday sobrang iniisip ko na how im going to behave sa sunday. Should I be just like my normal self or what? I don’t feel like associating with people. Sabi ko pa nun ayokong magsalita, makikinig lang ako bukas. And I was torn between first or second service kasi nag iinarte talaga ako huhu Sorry! Sobrang arte kainis! Pero ewan, maybe sobrang hindi pa ako ready humarap after ditching (almost) them for weeks. 💔 (Sobrang hindi lang talaga okay yung heart ko these past few weeks and ayun sumabog aw)

After a days na pagtatalo ng mind and heart ko, I heard a voice, the right voice I should listen to. So I did follow my ears instead of my confuse heart and mind. When Ate Charm asked me kung anong oras ako magseservice I replied immediately that I will go at 2pm kasi usually andun sila lahat.

The day came. Lumuwas ako ng manila ng maaga. As in. So I went first to Jabee to had lunch and review a few notes tapos tumunganga. I saw churchmates inside and nakaramdam ako ng hiya. Kasi hindi ko man aminin somehow naisip ko na din ang umalis. Pero di ko nalang pinansin, kasi di naman nila alam and convinced by the fact na hindi ko kayang gawin.

I had more than 2 hours before service at iniisip ko na na on going na yung set up ngayon, tutulong ba ako or mag aaksaya ako ng oras dito mag isa? Nakakahiya kasi, I’m not okay inside pero I’m engaging myself sa ministry, parang hindi sya okay. Hindi ko alam pero still I went at tumulong.

Unti unti dumating sila. Ate Bernice, Trishia and other Ates. Naging normal ang lahat. They knew. But we never talked about it. Kinausap nila ako in a normal way. Even though they asked kung kamusta na ako I never let the conversation go deeper. Why? I dont know. Siguro mas okay nang hindi? I feel better sa presence palang nila. Hindi ko maexplain. Pero presence palang nila okay na ako. No words of encouragement. Only hugs and kisses. ❤️ Even Ate Charm. She never mentioned what happened. They made me better without saying a word.

And that what I missed. Them. My team. Sa sobrang focus ko in my own thoughts and problems nakalimutan kong I have them. I have a bunch of shoulders I can cry on. I failed to notice that I am more blessed than Mary kasi hindi lang isang Elizabeth ang meron ako. I have the whole divine’s to come to in times of confusion. Also my #faMMily. ❤️

I’ve been complaining na hindi ko maramdaman ang Lord and parang sobrang layo ko na sa kanya yun pala ako ang lumalayo. The Lord is been with me the whole time. Through these people I failed to appreciate. I’ve been busy putting distance between them when in fact they are doing their best to bring out the best in me. And they are all I need. 😭

I’m sorry for being maldita Ates. And I’m sorry Lord for blaming you of my frustrations.

I learned my lessons Lord. That isolation will never get me near Your promises. Hahatakin lang ako nito pabalik. And I should be the one leading my emotions and thoughts not the other way around. ❤️

Also, to always remind myself that You are the way. I could never get through without You.

Above all else, I thank you Lord at tinuturuan mo akong harapin ang pressure in a matured way! ☺️ I will grow with this for You! 😘

— Your precious pearl

072318

[csalexandrite]

Who else? 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♀️ https://ift.tt/2LfLLHL

[csalexandrite]

I hate it when people are asking, “How are you?” “Hows your ********?” “Ano na?” Ano na rin ba lols.

It’s not that i dont appreciate their concerns, i do! I just dont know what to reply or should I frankly say I cant find the right words to tell them what is really going on inside of this stupid mind. So instead of lying, i prefer not to reply. Sorry! 😞 Kaya minsan mas gusto ko nalang manahimik. But my silence doesn’t mean im fine. Ang gulo ko!

Naghahanap ako ng kausap. Pero kapag meron na hindi ko na alam ang sasabihin. Paano ba? Paano ko ba ipapaintindi? Gosh sorry if im like this. But this is how my mind works. 😭

And Im more than aware to what you are all going to say “Kausapin mo lang ang Lord” “Ibalik mo ang sarili mo sa prayer” “Huwag kang lumayo sa team” “Manage your time” “Kaya mo yan. Ngayon pa ba?” “He knows!”

Alam ko po yun 😭 and my heart acknowledge it all! Hindi ko nakakalimutan! Kailangan ko lang talaga ng oras. Time to understand myself. Kasi kahit ako hindi ko na alam ano bang kailangan ko para maging okay. 😞 I am deeply longing for something i cant comprehend. But He knows.

I have to seek deeper to overcome this!

Lord, this is the time that I need you the most. Please, dont lose your grip on me! I need you more! 😭

Ang daming nawiwithhold dahil hindi ako makausad!

This time I will fight not for my own sake but for Your glory! ❤️😭

Huwag mo akong bibitawan Lord, kahit anong mangyari. Malapit na! 😭

[csalexandrite]

You still have a story to tell.

Nothing about you is over yet.

Tell it well.

Finish strong.

Don’t look in the rearview too long.

No matter what’s been done or done to you,

you can still be you, truly.

No one else can write your story.

Live it well.

– J.S.

[csalexandrite]

Stay encouraged.

You’re doing a good thing.

Don’t let anyone get you down.

Most especially you.

– J.S.