cucumberlumber - Tumblr blog

[cucumberlumber]

“hey bruh lemme stuff this toilet with ps1′s. im gone kill the tumblr game with this one”

[cucumberlumber]

[cucumberlumber]

they like to leave enough space between them so our third crotchety cat can come hang out with them but she never does and never will. also the light is taking Cheese

[cucumberlumber]

[cucumberlumber]

[cucumberlumber]

I dropped my phone and idk what I accidentally tapped but tumblr gave me this error message and it scared me so bad I feel like im in a horror movie and tumblr is screaming and chasing me

[cucumberlumber]

she's doing it again

[cucumberlumber]

I just heard a sad little huff so I peered over my tablet and

[cucumberlumber]

[cucumberlumber]

licking the egg

[cucumberlumber]

emojis

[cucumberlumber]

The Leering Lurker

[cucumberlumber]

idk if im actually bi or nit but i have an 8 am class tomorrow cant worry about that

[cucumberlumber]

most notable times of being hit on by customers:

guy who tried to impress me with card tricks and failed every single one of them

old man who attempted to get my number when his wife walked away and slipped me his email address ending with “@ aol.com” when i said i don’t do that

cute gay couple that came back to tell me i was cute and then called the shop to ask me out

older professor who i talked to about folklore and told me he dressed as a wizard for recitals saying “this is really embarrassing but umm.. i’d love to get to know you more..” and gave me a receipt with his email address on it

dude in his 40s asking me on a movie date and me saying yes but then he kept starting text conversations with “ahoi hoi”

military guy who said it’d be hot if i killed him with a baseball bat

most notable time a customer did not ask me out:

a man who i knew had a wife and children getting really flustered and saying “um. ive been, uh.. idk if you remember me but um. i come in here a lot and ive uhhh haha umm ive been wanting to ask you for a couple weeks now.. um. have you read the green lantern issue i recommended??????”

[cucumberlumber]

[cucumberlumber]

she was initially formed out of pottery clay but came to life because it was her true hearts wish to be friends with everybody in the world and the princess of the faeries helped her