Text
Okay but to the girls who played monster high and made them scissor are we all lesbians or are you still figuring out
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
fruit snacks are so yum
how it feels to have someone who’s supposed to make you feel loved making you feel drained and horrible instead but it’s okay they have an excuse
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
also while i have robots on the brain. ive always thought its a little silly when media pulls "this robot wasnt built to be sentient but it glitched and now its a real boy!" but i do think itd be fun to do a variation like "this robot was built to be sentient but the ethics board were like 'hey i don't think we're allowed to sell things with thoughts and feelings' so the devs last minute commented out half of the code before launch day and now oops some of the bots have figured out how to access that part of their code again" . both slightly more plausable AND a lot funnier to imagine the absolute scandal it'd cause in the tech world.
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
i don't drink but one time as a teenager i was at a local festival with family, complaining that i wanted to go back to our tent to go to sleep. so my mom bought me a beer to try and 'liven me up' . and i remember contemplating for a second before chugging the entire pint in one sitting, slamming the plastic cup back down on the counter and saying "so can i go to bed now" . and i feel like this is all you need to know about me as a person.
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
I guess the idea of a companion animal that would eat your flesh is supposed to be upsetting but critically she doesn't do that while I'm alive. which I'd argue is the most important factor here.
14K notes
·
View notes
Text
i love when cats roll around all cutely and then they look up at you like ₍^. .^₎ umm hi did you notices how cute i just was? did u see?
32K notes
·
View notes
Text
minor pet peeve is when i say "i think there should be more of (trope/plot point/etc)" and people respond with "okay but that already exists have you tried reading-" yes i know it exists. i still want more of it. i aint requesting a snack i want a whole buffet here.
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
*sees two women interacting for five seconds in a show*: c’mooooon lesbians *shaking dice in fist* mama needs a new pair of lesbians
24K notes
·
View notes
Text
cat can:
snuggle
biting you
eat food AND plastic
so scared of car sounds
locate Bug
Make sounds
34K notes
·
View notes
Text
told my mom my cat had a cold and she asked the most important question

35K notes
·
View notes
Text
what? oh sweetheart no, you're not weirding me out at all. you're weirding me in. keep talking, freak
134K notes
·
View notes