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[curdld]

pyrlte

maybe if he had one drink less ,  remy would have had it in him to follow their usual routine :  grumble some lazy mess of words that made no sense ,  reassure that he was fine and more than capable of getting himself ready for bed despite the bent arms that would get trapped in his shirt sleeves and let silence wash over them until sleep finally overtook him .  maybe if he had any semblance of self - respect ,  he would have already found someone else to sit adjacent to him .  anyone else that could wear a mask of disappointment so he could breathe a little easier .  

 ‘ yeah . ’  falls in sync with an exhale ,  sweating palms pressing flat against his face like physically shielding himself from the moment would somehow absolve him from any responsibility his words may hold him to .  (  but he’ll tell himself it’s to keep the space still ,  even if only for a moment .  a simple act to keep nausea at bay .  )  hands eventually fall to rest against the mattress again as his posture flattens with a sigh .  ‘ why else’d i do this dumb shit all the time ? ’  slips from his mouth before he can think better of it ,  dull gaze further keeping his body separate from the atmosphere creeping into the bedroom with shut eyelids .  his smile is sinister and pitiful ,  too inebriated to bother wiping it from his lips .  ‘ the only way you can stand to be around me , isn’t it . ’  

she shuffles to her knees and crawls over to him ,  setting a forearm flat against the egde of the bed and lying her head against it . what should she make of it ? alcohol is liquid courage for most , but seeing as lucia rarely gets more than a few words out of him at a time she can’t be sure that’s the case in this situation . her face transitions from curious sleepiness to disconcerted doe eyes and a flustered smile . ‘ what ,  completely trashed ? ’ she muses , ignoring the way the room is getting hotter and it feels like someone’s sitting on her chest . ‘ no . it’s the only way you can be around me . ’ damnit . shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did to say it out loud . she feels a nasty bout of self-pity threaten to put a frown on her face but she refuses it . ‘ you only remember i exist when you’re like this. ’ 

‘ hey . ’ she blinks sluggishly and puffs out a yawn before a hand comes up to pull one of his from his face . has maybe closed on the decision that this isn’t the truth , it’s just a bunch of rubbish coming from a boy who’s seen much better nights and won’t remember a thing tomorrow morning . she has a habit of looking people in the face when talking but she’s not sure right now it won’t backfire and make her feel even smaller in front of him .  ‘ i care about you and everything remy but don’t .. treat me like your per diem babysitter then tell me you love me just because you’re especially fucked up one night . that’s not fair . ’ tender and polite . self assured , though , because if she isn’t she’ll end up melting into putty beside his bed and hanging off his every word .

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empathists

     “thanks.” jason smiled brightly as he wrapped his arms around the cereal protectively. “oh yeah. i like puffs way better than pebbles because pebbles get soggy fast and i’m a slow eater.” he explained. “i always get distracted by the back of the box.” he added, just to prove his point further. “but it looks like you’ve already read everything on the box. it felt like you were never going to make a decision.” 

damnit. he’d just made a very good point and now she was back to the drawing board. she found her smile falling some as she placed the other box back on the shelf as well and tilted her head over at the cereals. ‘ well i definitely don’t want to eat soggy cereal ... ’ she huffed, turning back to face him briefly. ‘ this is hard. i hate picking things. maybe ... i should get frosted flakes like i always do and just buy a kit kat since i’m craving chocolate so bad. what do you think? ’

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inthechlo

@curdld​ liked THIS for a brody starter

brody sighed as he looked down at the gash on his hand. one of his students had brought him flowers and when he was putting them in a vase at home he accidentally dropped it, then proceeded to cut himself when he tried to clean up his original mess. this wasn’t exactly his night. now he was sat on a bed in a hospital room, waiting for someone to take a look at his hand, seeing a woman walk past he quickly got up and headed for the door where she was. “hey ––– excuse me, i was told someone would come and check on my hand an hour ago, i don’t care too much i just have papers to grade at home.”

lucia’s stress levels always skyrocketed during clinicals. running around with two, three patients trying to follow exact protocol wasn’t a walk in the park –– not with a slew of other responsibilities clouding her mind. nothing really ever was. what made matters worse were the patients that fell through the cracks every so often. ones that she constantly found herself assuming responsibility for, fearing if she didn’t they’d sit there for hours unattended to. and tonight it was the man that’d stopped her on her way to clock out. had her turning on her heels to face him with a genuine albeit exhausted smile, granting him her full attention. the plump nature of her lips fell to a frown as she spoke and she nodded in complete understanding.  “ oh god, i’m so sorry. ” wide eyes flickered down to his hand and she took a brief glance around her before biting her lesser lip and giving a nod toward his room. “ you go back inside and i’ll be right back, okay? promise. i just need to grab some paperwork. ”

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suneds

he’ll   nod   his   head   before   looking   around   at   the   rest   of   the   patrons   there.         doesn’t   seem   like   it’s   going   to   be   a   terrible   night.         ❝         nobody   throwing   people   over   counters   ?         no   drunken   fights   or   arguments   ?         ❞         but   then   a   pause,         smile   widening   ever   so   slightly.         ❝         until   you   saw   me.         ❞         he   repeated,         waiting   until   she   brought   back   another   beer         (         which   he   offer   his   thanks   for         )         before   he   spoke   again.         ❝         you   should   know   i’m   not   that   special   or   entertaining.         only   thing   i   got   going   for   me   over   these   guys   is   you   know   i’ll   tip   &   won’t   harass   you   in   the   process.         ❞         now   that   was   generalizing   everybody   in   the   bar,         jackson.         maybe   they’re   not   all   bad   !         ❝         i   think   i   can   manage   that.         —         for   the   free   drinks.         ❞         to   which   he’ll   raise   his   glass   &   take   a   sip.         expressive   sigh   after   he’s   gulped   it   down,         gaze   remaining   on   her   before   arms   are   folding   across   his   chest.         ❝         i   don’t   know   how   you   work   here.         ❞         jackson’s   not   sure   if   he’d   be   throwing   customers   out   left   &   right   or   banging   his   head   against   the   wall   from   their   sheer   stupidity.

lucia   had   to   breathe   out   a   giggle   ,   eyebrows   furrowing   as   she   eyed   him   to   decipher   how   serious   he   was   . ‘   jesus   ,   where   do   you   think   i   work   ?   prison   ?  ’   mouth   mirrored   his   in   a   smile   and   she   watched   him   wondering   how   out   of   touch   he   really   was   .   in   one   light   she   might   assume   he   knew   so   much   more   about   the   world   than   he   did   ,   forced   to   be   a   sharp   observer   and   all   .   but   in   another   she   couldn’t   help   but   to   think   he   spent   so   much   time   shadowing   others   that   he   never   really   got   enough   firsthand   experience   himself   . ‘   you   only   see   the   bad   in   it  .   watch   too   many   movies   or   something   .   i’ve   been  working   here   three   years   and   have   only   ever   witnessed  ...   maybe   twenty   fights .   ’   she   turned  her   head   to   get   a   look   around   the   bar   ,   all   familiar   faces  and   slumped   bodies   .   decided   she   had   at   least   one   good   thing   to   say   about   each   patron   .   be   it   her   extreme   naivety   toward   their   obvious   misogynistic   attitudes   toward   her   or   her   built   up   tolerance   for   them   ,   she’d   come   to   grow   comfortable   in   this   environment   .   content   ,   even .   ‘   so   mean   to   yourself   .   i   think   you’re   great   company   ,   that   i   rarely   get   to   have   .   ’   she   uttered   out   the   last   few   words   in   dismay   ,   eyes   flickering   over   his   features   before   breaking   into   a   more   playful   look   .  ‘   and   i   don’t   know   how   you’re   a   bodyguard   .   literally   sounds   like   hell   .   ’

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‘ my god –– i’m so sorry ! ’ serves her right for looking down at her feet while she walks. always has been her worst habit and now it’s gotten her into this position : kneeling to pick up the books and pens she’d dropped bumping into the stranger on her way out of the library. little hands scramble haphazardly to collect her just borrowed copies of jane eyre and the thorn birds. her face is all hot red cheeks, disconcerted doe eyes and a tight, embarrassed smile.  ‘ really i should watch where i’m going, ’ she utters to herself, glancing briefly at the boy as she stands with possessions hugged tighter to her chest. as though loosening her grip might have them flying back to the ground and doubling her humiliation. ‘ i’m really sorry. ’

@hcpelessromantic​ / starter.

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empathists

     jason stared silently at the stranger as he watched their hand hover over his favorite cereal. the anticipation inside of him was building as his nerves began to take over. he could no longer wait for them to make their choice. “excuse me..” he coughed as he stepped closer. “that’s the last box of coco puffs.. and this morning i woke up and someone had eaten all my coco puffs. so i came to the store just for coco puffs and i’d really appreciate it if you didn't’ take the last box.” 

    groceries were so tedious . especially for someone like lucia, who was a pitiful decision maker . minimum of ten minutes was spent at each and every aisle she went down , checking , double checking , and triple checking ingredients . wondering whether she needed or just wanted it whatever was in hand . debating how worth it the purchase would be , how much she’d really eat of it or if it would just end up going to waste . at that particular moment it was between two cereals : cocoa pebbles and cocoa puffs . both viable options to satisfy her recent craving for chocolate . eyes were flickering back and forth between boxes and she felt herself leaning more toward the latter when she heard the stranger next to her speak up . her head turned to face him with a look of curiosity that slowly melted into one of sheer compassion , corners of her lips turning up to a sweet smile . ‘ oh ... um –– sure ! ’ she held the box out to the other . ‘ sounds like you like ‘em way more than i do . guess that makes my decision much easier . ’

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dcvious

@curdld​   ┊  LUCIA  &  JORDAN.

“   ——   you  look  like  shit   ”  she  greeted  the  female  when  she  opened  the  door  .  for  the  past  few  days , the  other  seem  to  be  troubled  .  she  held  her  tongue  back  for  the  past  few  days  but  she  felt  like  she  at  least  need  to  say  something  .  she  poured  a  warm  cup  of  tea  for  the  female  before  taking  a  sit  .  “  when was  the  last  time  you  slept  properly  ?  ”  she  curiously  asked  after  taking  a  sip  of  her  morning  tea  .  “ is there  anything  you’d  like  to  share  with  me  perhaps  ?  maybe  i  can  help  .  ”

she’d been propped up on the kitchen counter , restlessly swinging her legs for the last hour . half-lidded eyes were down at her lap , blinks slow and heavy in complete exhaustion . if it wasn’t already difficult enough fitting resting time into her demanding schedule , lately lucia just couldn’t fall asleep . it had been weeks since she had gotten a complete cycle of shut eye and it was evident . eyes carrying dark bags , lips cracked and skin pale . even her smiles weren’t the beacon of light that they usually were . god ,  she hated the winter . ‘ hm ? ’ she yawned as eyes flickered up to find the other , not a single change in her expression . her head leaned against the cabinets lined up to the right of her and she shut her eyes , not standing to keep them open more than she had to . ‘ i can’t remember , ’ the words came out a sloppy murmur , mouth barely moving to form audible speech . ‘ i’m ... i’ve ... i can’t sleep . i just can’t sleep . i don’t know why , just can’t and i feel like complete garbage . ’

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suneds

couldn’t   help   the   quick   laugh   that   came   through;         wouldn’t   bother   hiding   the   fact   that   it   felt   nice   for   someone   to   want   him   around.         wasn’t   very   often   that   he   had   the   time   to   actually   make   friends,         let   alone   more   time   to   spend   around   them.         ❝         i   guess   i   could   stay.         ❞         he   stated,         feigning   reluctance   as   he   seated   himself   in   the   chair   she   was   just   standing   in   front   of.         eyes   tearing   themselves   away   as   she   had   to   walk   over   &   serve   a   drink   to   another   customer,         resting   on   the   shelves   of   drinks   behind   the   bar   as   he   brings   the   beer   to   his   lips   again.         slight   smile   tugs   at   his   lips         (         feeling   so   foreign         )         as   he   shrugged   in   response.         ❝         i’m   okay.         —         how’s   business   tonight   ?         ❞         then   he   nodded   at   her   inquiry,         lazily   holding   up   a   finger   as   he   drank   the   rest   of   his   nearly   -   room   -   temp   beer.         he   didn’t   really   have   a   reason   to   drink   before,         not   having   nearly   as   much   of   a   fun   time   as   he’s   beginning   to   have.         ❝         i’ll   just   have   another   one.         please.         ❞

nimble  fingertips  drummed  against  lucia’s  cheek  as  she  took  him  in  , her  doe  eyes  swimming  in  a  gaze  of  sheer  delight  with  no  attempt  to  mask  her  excitement  .  ‘  it’s ... okay ,  ’  she  shrugged  ,  teeth  tugging  on  her  lesser  lip  pensively  .  ‘  pretty  slow .  kind  of  a  drag  'til  i  saw  you  . ’  the  turn  of  her  body  was  swift  in  fetching  a  second  bottle  and  cracking  it  open  for  him  .  ‘  drinks  on  me  long  as  you  keep  me  company  ‘til  my  shift’s  up  . ’  a  honeyed  smile  paired  with  a   promising  look  though  lucia  really  wasn’t  holding  her  breath  that  she’d  get  to  have  him  much  longer .  she  didn’t  know  enough  about  him  outside  of  his  incredibly  demanding  choice  in  careers  ,  couldn’t  decide  if  he  was  the  type  to  spend  more  than  just  half  an  hour  out  before  calling  it  quits  . perhaps that’s what drew her to him  ;  what  had  her  leaning  back  over  to  him  all  wide  eyed  after  sliding  the  beer  across  the   bar  .  the  mystery  of  it  all .  god ,  did  she  love  a  good  mystery  . 

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notbenfankhauser‌:

me, pulling up to the mcdonald’s drive through at 1 am, mascara tears on my cheeks and SOS by ABBA blasting through the speakers: 40 nuggets and an apple pie plz

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[curdld]

im….real? my existence has… impacts? i touch things and they move, i breath in and out and the air buzzes around me? the sun rests on my skin…. grass is crushed under my toes… people see me and have an idea of who i am… my name is on papers….? im sorry this is… this is too much….  

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