curlsandinbetween

[curlsandinbetween]

Nantes, France (by Zhu)

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You have to fall in love with how you will feel later, before you even have any proof that any of it will take place. That is surrender: to live life in a way as if all your prayers have already been answered.

Joe Dispenza

[curlsandinbetween]

You have to fall in love with how you will feel later, before you even have any proof that any of it will take place. That is surrender: to live life in a way as if all your prayers have already been answered.

Joe Dispenza

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Something amazingly awesome is going to happen to me today.

Pam Grout

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Don't concern yourself too much with how you are going to achieve your goal - leave that completely to a power greater than yourself. All you have to do is know where you're going. The answers will come to you of their own accord, and at the right time.

Earl Nightingale

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Go as high as you can with your imagination. Fantasize about your perfect life. The higher you go, the more quickly the images and thought forms that do not fit your growth will dissolve.

Sanaya Roman

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It's not my fault. I'm not the one who screwed up.

You're a coward. You gave up on us.

It's not my job to make you feel like a man.

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- God loves me.

- I have a beautiful soul and a beautiful mind. I won't let anyone dim my light.

- My art brings inspiration and light.

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- I will make positively significant breakthroughs in my art this year and improve my financial status forever.

- I will marry someone who will make my heart calmer and my life better by giving the right and best love and security I could ever ask for.

- I will have children with this person and we raise them with the mindset of how to make life enjoyable and bearable at the same time. We will make a happy home.

- I can finally own a pet corgi and my whole family will love him.

[curlsandinbetween]

Stepping into a period of reclaiming my power in a way that I need to step up and do what I need to do for me.

A lot of people I talked to today said I dodged a bullet and it is a blessing in disguise that our relationship ended. People and their kind words are the ones that made me cry more if ever.

Some friends of mine have told me the red flags he has based on decisions he's been making recently.

My mom says not to contact him anymore and it gets clearer and clearer now why I need to.

He is out somewhere. I have nothing left in me to care about where he has ended up. All I feel now is that if he isn't giving me any more privilege to talk to him, then I am tired of offering access to myself.

I just have to do that one thing and then see where that goes from there.

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5:51 AM, June 30, 2024, Sunday

Sometimes, I just wanna be away from social media and just not post anything. I like being quiet online for a bit , not really posting much and just be in silence for the sake of peace. It's not really because I am sad. I get anxious about the future so much because I don't know what it holds. I do feel like it'll all be alright. I feel like I am needed for something I will truly love and like.

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May 23, 2024 10:19 AM, sc

I was gonna say about a week ago how I no longer have a desire to go back to UAE to work mainly because I didn't like the actual feeling of being alone while going around and doing my own thing every single day. The city can feel a bit of a choking breath if you don't know where to go. A lot of people don't really care about you because they're all busy with their own lives or struggles. People can be mean because they went through so much and they don't want to get trampled on. Not everyone is definitely nice unless they have weird intentions. The reality of my 4 years being there is that there isn't enough nature to calm me down and not enough animals to to check out because people are too much most of the time. I miss the convenience and variety of the shops but there may be nothing quaint about them. Time with locals can get awkward because there is an evident cultural divide. There are few nice people who look at and greet you warmly like Mama, the lebanese shop assistant in one of the stores in the mall. Only things like art conventions, concerts, movies, comfort food and bookstores give the city some life to me. Friendships can come with these but are rare like Audrey and Ate Abz because a lot of people there can turn against you in a heartbeat.

I realized Dubai is nothing without the souls of the people living in it. It is just a city in a desert where one can do business.

My relationships there are all empty ones or just too much that they left me all dry metaphorically under the desert sun.

I'd rather be with family and Brett at present than be there to keep posting on social media like nothing is wrong. It is an empty place, if not for the people with good souls.

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10:24 AM, March 1 2024, Friday

REASONs why I'm still thankful of where I currently am:

- I have bebu in my life.

- I'm with family eventhough I don't alone.

- I have my own room unlike back in Dubai

- There's more greenery all around

- More options for non-Muslims

- People are more judgmental but I can definitely say they are warmer to be around than be around hundreds of different other nationalities at the same time

- I'm just home.

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10:07 AM March 1, 2024 Friday

- I miss the convenience while being in Dubai but I don't miss the toxic people I met there.

- I miss having stuff around like malls to walk around in, restaurants with food which may not be found in Philippines right away but I don't miss the feeling of having to eat alone most of the time.

- I miss more access to travel packages to countries nearby and other efficient travelling stuff like the metro and bus when it's not crowded but I don't miss not having anyone to share the awe with. Long rides get lonely in some way.

- I miss doing art when kids of different nationalities but I don't miss not seeing my family for months.

- I miss shopping in stores with more ease there while I suffer a bit if I shop here because of almost no available stocks, less selections, less variety of products and crowded stores on busy hours and annoying salesladies who follow you around when it's not. I don't miss splurging on sales because I end up not using them much.

- I miss freely going anywhere I want on a day off alone and not worry about waiting on someone unless to come with me unless they're someone totally okay to hang out with all day.

I don't miss when I made a few mistakes of hanging out with certain people who turned out to be too much for me or talked too much about me when I'm not there.

- I don't miss having to look nice for someone I find interesting to give me a glance but I do miss the access to great make-up and fashion choices.

- I miss the variety of grocery items but I don't miss having very little options for non-Muslims especially on smaller supermarkets.

- I miss interacting with some cool expats but I don't miss some miscommunications that can come with it.

- I miss the wide open spaces we can all experience when we go out and about but I don't miss coming home to not being alone in a room and have the constant need to be sharing the refrigerator, bathroom and of course shelf space with people who can be toxic and ticking time bombs.

- I miss having so much picture-worthy options all around but I don't miss that they don't have a lot of trees and greenery.

[curlsandinbetween]

6:17 AM, Feb 7 2024, Wednesday

Dream:

Will Dasovich selfie

Family jokes

"Buy a Vowel"

Enjoyed

Beach side house, overlooking the ocean / lake

[curlsandinbetween]

Some people just aren't travellers as they try to make it seem. They are just bored children.